It also could be that Husko waited for you to be by his side when he passed. Many humans do that.
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It also could be that Husko waited for you to be by his side when he passed. Many humans do that.
Turns out poor Liza had a tumor in her neck...nothing could be done...:(Quote:
Originally Posted by Iraklis
stupid father should have woke me up...i'd try to revive him...or at least get to say goodbye...........Quote:
Originally Posted by doxiesrock912
Iraklis:
It is a sad thing, but I have heard some people on here post that their family members could not understand or approve of their treatment of their dog. To some family it is just a dog. I will never be able to understand how these types of people think, or why they have such little regard for companion animals. It could be that to your father it was no big deal. I understand how you feel. Every time my Tipper is away from me like in the vets or hospital for testing etc. I say to them if anything at all goes wrong you come and get me immediately as I must be with my dog in an emergency. I make sure everyone that handles her understands this. I seldom even leave her at home now to go to the store or anything, I always get someone to sit with her. I am too afraid of something happening to her wit me not there. I have a stuffed animal dog here that I even make anyone watching her know how to perform CPR and practice on the stuffed animal. This dog means everything in the world to me and I am very cautious with her. It is a shame your dad did not seem to understand how important Husko was to you. I feel bad for you as this is like losing a child.
Patti
I thought father liked Husko...(i know he doesnt like Lemmy)...he used to call him ''baby'' some times and walk him...
but i don't think he really cared...last months of Huskos' life he complained too many times about me spending too much money on Huskos' care...he complained I should have euthanized him because people in the streets told him my efforts are pointless...he didn't pay attention to Husko when walking him so Husko hurt his leg (which played a huge part in this overall psychology and mine)...all he cares about is eating and sleeping (after spending a fortune travelling the world while leaving 2 children and a wife behind with money barely enough to eat...) ,lazy prick...
I remember i told him when Husko hurt his leg that if he dies because of this i'd hurt him...haven't brought myself to do that...but I have told him that Husko was my family but not him...
Iraklis:
I guess you are right. A man that doesn't care about his wife and two children probably is not concerned about a dog. You loved Husko and that's all that matters. Some people will never get it, they have no love for animals and criticize us for doing so. You father was probably resentful of you spending money on a dog. I can certainly understand your ill feelings towards him with the way her left his family to fend for themselves. I hope that Lemmy always remains healthy as you have been through enough. Please take care of yourself and hug Lemmy for me and Tipper.
Patti
Will do...
Actually ,today i received Lemmys' blood-tests...
All good!
I just think his CRK is a tad high 0.96mg/dL (0.32-1.43).
We went to Huskos' place again ,as almost every day since...the more I think about it all, the more i feel i failed him in his worst hour of need...
I was lucky enough to live beside him though, even for a short amount of time...and will be forever grateful for that...
P.S. Lemmy is snoring from exhaustion...
Your father might indeed have loved Husko, but as you better than anyone knows, what Husko was going through could try anyones patience and often they think the kinder thing is to put them to sleep. Maybe it is because it hurts to see them in such a sad state of affairs.
I'm just guessing but I do know that my parents had a hard time seeing our Tasha when she was at her worse and I know they loved her dearly. They thought it would have been kinder to let her go.
Glad Lemmy is doing okay
Sharlene and molly muffin
I understand what you are saying ,but i am sure that is not the case with him...his day went on as if nothing happened when he left this world...Quote:
Originally Posted by molly muffin
I don't have regrets of not putting Husko to sleep (it came close to that ,but that was a dietary fookup of me that fortunately i spotted) because up to/and January he had many daily/nightly walks and ate food and showed (few) signs of joy...
February to March is a different story...should have accepted help from a lady who offered to loan me money, should have asked for x-rays/bloodtest during our 2nd February vet visit and owe the money, should have found a way to vent my anger instead of my voice loosing its calm and affection (not to mention my crimes of slapping and grabbing the throat of my baby)......i lost my calm,vigilance,clear thinking (what was left of that)...
I know nobody will say this ,but i am sure everyone realizes how wrong things were done by me during the last 5-6 weeks...and there are no excuses at all for that...
I decided to go the route of helping Husko to the end...and ''try to help'' is a far cry from ''do help''...
Iraklis:
Of course no one is going to say you did wrong, because we don't think you did. You did what you thought in your heart was right. You had very little help from the vets, and everything they did was wrong. I think if anyone let Husko down it was the vets that you trusted to save his life and they bungled it. You have learned a lot from this and it will certainly benefit Lemmy. You are actively helping others on the forum, so that honors your beloved Husko. You are a good person, and you did everything you could humanly do. I am sorry for your dad not letting you know Husko was in distress, that is hard to have to deal with. Have a good day with precious Lemmy as he needs you now, and you need him.
Patti
Patti said it perfectly. Hugs.
Are you old enough to move away from your father? This doesn't sound like a good environment for anyone.
I don't think Husko was in distress when father found him...probably in a state of coma (or nearly there). I don't know if this causes pain...
I certainly hope not...
But i think i could have done something...anything...
Yes ,I am old enough.
The money i make though would barely be enough to pay the rent...
This is a situation many people have been forced to in this economic crisis.
I can manage this situation in ''normal'' circumstances easily...
The whole situation with Huskos' health would be incredibly difficult even for the ''perfect house'' to handle...much less mine...
And i am making no excuses for my actions or mistakes with this...
I honestly don't know what to do...moving out looks like a dream in this economy...
Days after Husko left this world, i posted on FB if anyone has a dog with cancer for adoption (since i had 2 months worth of the medication i was donated)...it felt right...there was one ,but the lady (an MD) who posted it decided to keep him...
I also found this doggie...
https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?...3953489&type=3
She looks very much like Husko...could be a very very distant relative...called today for the possibility of adopting her (assuming first Lemmy is ok with her)...
I am sure Husko would want another stray be saved...
It somehow though feels too early...seems like a conscious decision of looking for a dog instead of just finding one in front of you...
Could be the (healthy?unhealthy?) anxiety of a new dog?
Would this dishonor Husko?
P.S. Lemmy was never buddies with Husko...
Whenever i called them to come and pet them, Lemmy would push Husko aside and he would just leave...I'd push Lemmy back and say ''stop it'' and call Husko back...
Lemmy is a selfish little $h1t...yet lovable... :)
But Husko was and forever will be the tragically ended love above all others...
Iraklis, there is no rush to adopt. You don't sound ready. enjoy time with Lemmy now that he has no competition and focus on your finances. I think doing both will help you feel less helpless :)
...and that includes an angry/frustrated voice, slapping and throat-grabbing?...no...Quote:
Originally Posted by goldengirl88
I am not a christian and don't believe in any gods, but i know how the story goes...
Judas and Peter both betrayed/denied Jesus...
I hope this doesn't offend anyones' religion in any way beliefs but i feel i did the same thing...
I'm so glad Lemmy's bloodwork looks good - the two of you need each other right now.
Iraklis:
The throat grabbing and slapping is done now, there is nothing you can do to change that, or I am positive you would. Yes in hind sight it was wrong, but I understand how frustrating this disease can be and sometimes I yell at my Tipper even when it really is not her fault. I do it out of frustration which is an ugly part of being a human. With no one helping you, and you doing all this on your own, it was only human to become frustrated. I am positive Husko forgives you, dogs are some of the most forgiving creatures on this earth. You are like me, you continue to beat yourself up over things you cannot go back and change. I am positive Husko is looking down thanking you for doing all you could do. He would not want you to torture yourself like this daily. The more you reach out and continue to help on the forum, the better you will feel. Your presence and knowledge is needed here, so consider it a tribute to your wonderful boy Husko that you are paying it forward for the mistakes you feel you have made.
Patti
I know he forgave me...he was so much better than me in every possible way...!
I know i cannot change anything that happened now...
In fact it wasn't just his health situation that caused that night to be the last...I think he went one step further and ''released'' me by letting go...
I still remember his last look into my eyes on the last night he was still here...i said ''it's ok...'' and pet his head...but now i think i know his question looking at me was ''do you want me to leave?''...
How do you know that he wasn't asking for permission to leave? Asking if you would be alright if he went and his suffering stopped? Given the unconditional love that our furlets provide, I think this is more likely.
Hugs.
I 'll probably be completely egotistical saying this...but the following days would be better (enough money for bloodtests-xray, medication arriving days later that would relieve my stress...)...
If only he knew...
If even that didn't make a difference...I would help him...and get to at least say ''I love you ,I'll miss you...goodbye my baby!!''
Inside me i was wishing that he'd go peacefully in his sleep...but not before we had fought with everything we got...
But I failed to do that in the end...
It is my fault...he felt betrayed...
His love was so much bigger than mine that he felt he had to let go of his life to relieve me...and he did...
Iraklis:
My biggest fear is Tipper leaving me and I do not get to tell her how much I love her, so every nite before we go to bed I tell her how much she means to me. She lays there quietly and just listens to me. Then again I don't know if I could manage seeing her pass, it would kill me. It is a double edged sword. I wish you could have had that moment with Husko. I think he was tired and wanted to be out of pain, and felt it would be best for you if he left. Animals have so much intuition. Most people who love dogs have a dog that is a once in a lifetime dog. A dog that was more special than any other they had. A dog that is so in tune with them. A dog they love more than a human. A dog they feel they cannot live without. This sounds like the relationship between you and Husko. I truly feel your pain, as Tipper is my once in a lifetime dog, and I am scared every day of losing her.
Patti
Yes...words truly can't describe...
I've been having thoughts that suggest his very calm/''depressive''/sleepy behavior (unlikely for a husky, even in his age) would be indicative he was slowly becoming a cushpup as early as early 2012...
Which raises my guilt that if he had not been treated at all for anything since last summer ,the tumor would continue to enlarge very-very slowly...and by the time he needed treatment I would be more educated...and he would have lived a full life...even after 8 years of being a starving ,beaten up stray dog...
I've been looking at rescue dogs for possibilities...i feel that is the best thing that would honor Huskos' life...!
But knowing you've met the perfect dog makes choosing sooo hard...
Should mention after reading other threads that blood-test here in Greece are mostly the plain ones and you have to specifically ask for which biochemistry test you want done.
Meaning Husko was never tested for T4 or anything like that...
***********
Does anybody remember another case of a dog misdiagnosed for sth else like liver cancer or arthritis but actually being a cushpup?
I need to read something i can really relate to...
Thank you!
Actually, we seem to see more of the opposite situations - Cushing's being diagnosed when it is really something else.
Iraklis:
I have to agree with Leslie. Usually people are thinking their dogs have Cushing's when they don't. If you feel adopting a rescue dog will help you and honor your Husko, then go with what your heart tells you to do. Maybe it will ease the pain of losing your best friend in the whole world. Just know it will make an added financial burden for you, and you won't know about it's health.You have been through a lot, and I am sure you could love another dog, it will just never be the same as Husko though.
Patti
Here are Dr. Mark E. Peterson's 2 replies (I almost lost the noteback it in the spam folder)...i asked a 3rd question too but never got an answer (not that i am not grateful...i wasn't even expecting 1 answer and i got 2)...
http://animalendocrine.blogspot.gr/2...-hormonal.html
I can't help but think that things would be better off if he wasn't misdiagnosed in the summer 2 times...(muscle wasting caused loss of about 4kg / 8lbs)
And that his 10day ACTH test isn't indicative of how much the cortisol levels dropped...
Cushings is easily mistaken for old age until the symptoms are blatantly obvious. Now that I know what to look for, in hindsight, I suspect that Daisy has had Cushings for at least a year before her diagnosis.
We do what we can with what we have. Our dogs know this too.
Exactly - hindsight indicates to me that my dog's first signs showed up almost two years before I got a diagnosis. So much was chalked up to her not being a young dog anymore, and I think the rigor I applied to her physical therapy arrested or masked some of the physical symptoms for quite some time.
Well...Not doubting Dr.Peterson....but i think i am...given the limited amount of information I could provide in a blog comment...
I don't think the tumor would enlarge so much had there been proper monitoring of Vetoryl...and even if it did anyway...he had lost so much muscle mass because of the Prezolon (for ''arthritis''&''liver cancer'' he did not have) that it diminished his chances of survival (not to mention i wasted time&money trying to address that too and losing focus...)...
Iraklis:
I read the information on the link to the blog. I was very surprised at Dr. Peterson's statement that there is no evidence that Vetoryl accelerates the growth of Pituitary tumors. That subject has come up many times and it has been thought by many that this does happen. I have to say that I feel then mis diagnosis of liver cancer and treatment for it had to have affected Huskos health. I feel if he had been diagnosed correctly and started on Vetoryl early on without the meds given for liver cancer he may have had a better chance of doing better physically, and maybe not lost so much muscle mass. Just think of it this way, if you did not have cancer and a Dr. put you on cancer drugs it would certainly impact you negatively. Have a good walk with Lemmy. We have a very thick frost today.
Patti
Exactly!
How can Dr.Peterson not know of this thing (chemical Neslons' syndrome) happening to some dogs?
Just to clarify...Huskos' medication was on Medrol/Prezolon ,Ursofak, Ceclor, Flagyl ...not any chemo...but these meds are worthless/cause damage to a cushpup...(and of course all that money would be much needed later on for proper treatment).
I feel that had he been diagnosed earlier or even not gone to vets that early, he wouldn't even need Vetoryl for many months...
Yesterday i was thinking of going a long walk with Lemmy...
But today its raining...
We'll go later during the night probably...
Iraklis:
I am currently trying to figure out the mechanism causing Tipper to have these awful tremors at nite. It is really hard to watch her do this over and over again. I feel it somehow affects her even though the Neurologist says he does not think so. I never trust any Dr. anymore after being on this journey. I am sure the Vetoryl is the cause, but how is what I want to know. If you have any thoughts on this please let me know. It has been raining here for 2 days. We did manage to get a walk in today. Tipper goes for her 17 the or 18th ACTH test tomorrow. If her numbers are good, I am not testing her for about 3 months. She has had enough and this is extremely hard on her since she has had so many. I cannot expect her to keep doing this. Hope you and Lemmy are well.
Patti
Iraklis:
No response from you today? I hope you are well and maybe just working. Hope nothing is wrong.
Patti
Does it look like this in the video?Quote:
Originally Posted by goldengirl88
Quote:
Originally Posted by pansywags
I just wish i had more fotos and videos of Husko...looking at old pictures of Penny (dhe died on 13th February 2003) i realized how much i had forgotten...Quote:
Originally Posted by goldengirl88
I feel guilty when people try to comfort me saying how loving i was even though i did so many things wrong...
In retrospect...Husko was sooo much better than me!
I feel like a burden here sometimes...forcing my problems to people who already have enough of that...
Things at the shelter going wrong added to everything else...
If it closes...120+ dogs will be left in the streets...which in Greece means 120+ poisoned dogs...
...
Other than that...life is peachy in Hollywood & Monte Carlo :eek:
If living happy means being indifferent...how can someone go on if he can't do that...?
Iraklis:
I am trying to get some video together of it and post it. It does not look like this video, it is different more like muscle contractions is how it would look. I will let you know when I get the video up. Hope you and Lemmy are well.
Patti
OMG! How sad about the shelter and what will happen to those dogs!
Share the story on Facebook so that it goes around. Alert the media in the US too. You never know who will step up to help.
Iraklis:
I guess I am naive and did not realize people there would poison dogs. How sad that is. We have a lot of no kill shelters that keep dogs forever, but they are having trouble staying open too. Do you think it would help you maybe to volunteer to help at the shelter? I have been where you are and it is not a good place. You are not a burden here ever. This site is not just for happy people, it is for people struggling to come to terms with their life after losing there best friend in the whole world. I will need your support one day when my baby must leave me, so don't think you are burdening anyone. You are intelligent and have information and support to help others on here. I think you need a big hug, and someone to tell you that you matter and make a difference. Are there any support groups where you live for people going thru hard times? You do matter to us on the forum, and you have a lot to offer. Hope you and Lemmy have a good walk today.
Patti
Lemmy is just fine and enjoys being the only dog in the house...he always behaved like that anyway...
There are no support groups here...
I can't think of anything that would help...
This isn't a case of something unavoidable...Husko would still live had there not been damage from wrong diagnosis/therapies (and huge amounts of money spent on that ,that would be useful later on for that matter) by the vets and huge mistakes by me...I can't get over the fact that i hurt him during his hours of deepest and biggest need!
Even if i had left ''nature take its course'' in the beginning...he would still be alive!
I cannot say to myself ''I did everything I could and all this was unavoidable...''
I see other people say that and it hurts me knowing I could have given him months/years of a happy life instead of months of struggling...
No one needs advice or help from someone who slapped and grabbed the throat of his dying baby...no one...
Iraklis:
I probably will never change the way you think about yourself. I know you will continue to blame yourself for Husko passing. I do know one thing for sure, you have learned a lot from this and the things you researched, and learned first hand do have a place here. If you were truly a bad person, you would never have rescued Husko from a life on the streets. Being with you was probably the best part of his life. You brought him joy and love, a home and food too eat. You are not a bad person, you just had a weak moment, like all of us do. I am going to need your help finding out how I can stop these tremors in my Tipper. She must go to the hospital on the 23rd to see if her tumor has grown. That is how the forum works, we lean on others when we need support. What you did in a moment of weakness does not define you as a person. I am sure everyone on here has done things they are not proud of. Please stay on the forum, and offer your help when you can. Your Husko would certainly want you to help other dogs!
Patti
Hi Iraklis,
Everything Patti is saying is so true and what she's saying is we are all humans and not gods. We all have weaknesses and we all make mistakes, too many of them through our lives. Sometimes it takes a longer time dealing with it but eventually we do have to move on and get on with our lives. Painful but we have to learn to deal with it because the only other option is to our own destruction.
You can offer or dedicate your time, knowledge, courage, experience, compassion... and most of all the love for animals that branched out by taking care of your beloved Husko to others who are in great need of all these and you know there are too many of them around all of us. You can do or offer a lot in Husko's honor and you will be doing all this with your Husko who is and will be in your heart forever and he will be ever so proud of you with a big smile on his face. He will live on through your good work.
Iraklis, you are a wonderful person already and I truly mean it but you will become an even much better human being, you and Husko together. Take care. Song.
Iraklis:
I am hoping you and Lemmy are well. I wish you had someone over there you could talk to. Tipper had really bad tremors last nite. She walked four times yesterday, and maybe it is too much exercise?? Hope to see you back on here helping everyone. Blessings
Patti