Sharring the story of Husko the Hero...

I don't think Husko was in distress when father found him...probably in a state of coma (or nearly there). I don't know if this causes pain...
I certainly hope not...
But i think i could have done something...anything...



Yes ,I am old enough.
The money i make though would barely be enough to pay the rent...
This is a situation many people have been forced to in this economic crisis.

I can manage this situation in ''normal'' circumstances easily...
The whole situation with Huskos' health would be incredibly difficult even for the ''perfect house'' to handle...much less mine...
And i am making no excuses for my actions or mistakes with this...



I honestly don't know what to do...moving out looks like a dream in this economy...
Days after Husko left this world, i posted on FB if anyone has a dog with cancer for adoption (since i had 2 months worth of the medication i was donated)...it felt right...there was one ,but the lady (an MD) who posted it decided to keep him...
I also found this doggie...
https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?...3953489&type=3
She looks very much like Husko...could be a very very distant relative...called today for the possibility of adopting her (assuming first Lemmy is ok with her)...
I am sure Husko would want another stray be saved...
It somehow though feels too early...seems like a conscious decision of looking for a dog instead of just finding one in front of you...
Could be the (healthy?unhealthy?) anxiety of a new dog?
Would this dishonor Husko?

P.S. Lemmy was never buddies with Husko...
Whenever i called them to come and pet them, Lemmy would push Husko aside and he would just leave...I'd push Lemmy back and say ''stop it'' and call Husko back...
Lemmy is a selfish little $h1t...yet lovable... :)

But Husko was and forever will be the tragically ended love above all others...

Iraklis, there is no rush to adopt. You don't sound ready. enjoy time with Lemmy now that he has no competition and focus on your finances. I think doing both will help you feel less helpless :)

Quote:

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Originally Posted by goldengirl88

You did what you thought in your heart was right.

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...and that includes an angry/frustrated voice, slapping and throat-grabbing?...no...

I am not a christian and don't believe in any gods, but i know how the story goes...
Judas and Peter both betrayed/denied Jesus...
I hope this doesn't offend anyones' religion in any way beliefs but i feel i did the same thing...

I'm so glad Lemmy's bloodwork looks good - the two of you need each other right now.

Iraklis:
The throat grabbing and slapping is done now, there is nothing you can do to change that, or I am positive you would. Yes in hind sight it was wrong, but I understand how frustrating this disease can be and sometimes I yell at my Tipper even when it really is not her fault. I do it out of frustration which is an ugly part of being a human. With no one helping you, and you doing all this on your own, it was only human to become frustrated. I am positive Husko forgives you, dogs are some of the most forgiving creatures on this earth. You are like me, you continue to beat yourself up over things you cannot go back and change. I am positive Husko is looking down thanking you for doing all you could do. He would not want you to torture yourself like this daily. The more you reach out and continue to help on the forum, the better you will feel. Your presence and knowledge is needed here, so consider it a tribute to your wonderful boy Husko that you are paying it forward for the mistakes you feel you have made.
Patti

I know he forgave me...he was so much better than me in every possible way...!
I know i cannot change anything that happened now...

In fact it wasn't just his health situation that caused that night to be the last...I think he went one step further and ''released'' me by letting go...
I still remember his last look into my eyes on the last night he was still here...i said ''it's ok...'' and pet his head...but now i think i know his question looking at me was ''do you want me to leave?''...

How do you know that he wasn't asking for permission to leave? Asking if you would be alright if he went and his suffering stopped? Given the unconditional love that our furlets provide, I think this is more likely.

Hugs.

I 'll probably be completely egotistical saying this...but the following days would be better (enough money for bloodtests-xray, medication arriving days later that would relieve my stress...)...
If only he knew...

If even that didn't make a difference...I would help him...and get to at least say ''I love you ,I'll miss you...goodbye my baby!!''

Inside me i was wishing that he'd go peacefully in his sleep...but not before we had fought with everything we got...

But I failed to do that in the end...
It is my fault...he felt betrayed...
His love was so much bigger than mine that he felt he had to let go of his life to relieve me...and he did...

Iraklis:
My biggest fear is Tipper leaving me and I do not get to tell her how much I love her, so every nite before we go to bed I tell her how much she means to me. She lays there quietly and just listens to me. Then again I don't know if I could manage seeing her pass, it would kill me. It is a double edged sword. I wish you could have had that moment with Husko. I think he was tired and wanted to be out of pain, and felt it would be best for you if he left. Animals have so much intuition. Most people who love dogs have a dog that is a once in a lifetime dog. A dog that was more special than any other they had. A dog that is so in tune with them. A dog they love more than a human. A dog they feel they cannot live without. This sounds like the relationship between you and Husko. I truly feel your pain, as Tipper is my once in a lifetime dog, and I am scared every day of losing her.
Patti

Yes...words truly can't describe...

I've been having thoughts that suggest his very calm/''depressive''/sleepy behavior (unlikely for a husky, even in his age) would be indicative he was slowly becoming a cushpup as early as early 2012...
Which raises my guilt that if he had not been treated at all for anything since last summer ,the tumor would continue to enlarge very-very slowly...and by the time he needed treatment I would be more educated...and he would have lived a full life...even after 8 years of being a starving ,beaten up stray dog...

I've been looking at rescue dogs for possibilities...i feel that is the best thing that would honor Huskos' life...!
But knowing you've met the perfect dog makes choosing sooo hard...