Mojo-Cushing's/macroadenoma - sweet Mojo has crossed The Bridge

[liltara]

Hi Everyone,

I am new here as a posting member but not as a researcher! I've been using this site as my font of information every since my dog Mojo's diagnosis with Cushing's in August last year.

I am posting today because after countless frustrations and stress I am finally at a point where we understand what is going on.

In the interest of not writing a novel, suffice it to say that Mojo (9.5 years old) probably had Cushing's/macroadenoma for several years prior to our diagnosis. As with almost everyone else here, I started to notice things but never put together the whole puzzle until the pd/pu started to become bothersome.

Anyway, he was started on trilostane and it's been a roller-coaster. He did ok for a few months on it, but it became increasingly difficult to manage his inappetence while on the drug. I became exasperated and finally called Dechra and opened a case with them to try and figure out what the deal was - no dosage seemed to work consistently and every time he would become anorexic.

I am posting today to share a few things: first, the Dechra vet tech services team is AMAZING. They assigned Mojo a case number and we've been in consistent consultation to try and get him on a good dose. Second, it was the doctor at Dechra who FINALLY said that she suspects a macro adenoma considering all of the symptoms, but mostly his inappetence every time we seemed to be hitting our stride.

She explained that the trilostane controlling the cortisol likely reduces the anti-inflammatory response and the tumor begins to swell because it is no longer being "anti-inflamed". Since the pituitary is adjacent to the area that controls appetite and vomit response, when the tumor swells (when cortisol is controlled) it interferes with those responses and hence the inappetence and sporadic vomiting. Eureka! This makes perfect sense and matches his symptoms.

So,from what I can see on other posts in this thread many have encountered similar frustrations when trying to treat Cushing's and macroadenoma. I thought this information could be helpful for others - for me, the most stressful part of this journey has been trying to manage the inappetence. Now at least I understand what is happening and I know it is not just a side-effect of the medicine.

Mojo is still with me and we are managing as best we can. He continues to decline and all seems to be in line with the progressing macroadenoma. He is off the trilo for now and we are managing his symptoms the best we can. He is not suffering terribly at this point, but I do see the end is coming. Probably sooner than I am prepared for but then again are we ever really prepared?

I might try some prednisone to help with his symptoms (counter-intuitive, I know but it makes sense to try and shrink the tumor a little for his comfort) but other than that, we will not be taking extreme measures. Radiation therapy at this point would be cruel - he is very weak and the drama of weekly car trips and anesthesia is not fair to him. We are enjoying every minute and taking it one day at a time.

This is an awful disease and I am grateful for this forum. The wisdom shared here has helped me so much during this journey ... and it has provided me with a platform of knowledge so I know what to expect as Mojo heads toward the rainbow bridge. Thank you for helping us!!!

[Harley PoMMom]

Hi and welcome to you and Mojo!

You will see that I have taken the liberty of copying your reply from our Macroadenoma thread where you originally posted, and I instead shifted it here to create a new thread that is your very own. This way, it will be much easier for our members to reply to you directly.

Thank you so much for sharing Mojo's Cushing's journey with us, and I am happy that we were able to help in some way but I am sorry for the reason that brought you here.

Cushing's sure is a frustrating and terrible disease and one that I so wish that our sweet babes didn't get...it's definitely a roller coaster ride. :(

Re: the prednisone; I believe that the primary concern for our furbabies is their quality of life and on the forum we have seen where prednisone usage is recommended when a dog has a macro to help relieve some of that swelling.

I want you to know that we are are here for you and Mojo and will support you both.

Hugs, Lori

[labblab]

Hi again! I'm so glad Lori went ahead and set up this thread for you. I'm going to go ahead and also add a portion of the reply I already posted to you on the "Macroadenoma" thread. That way, it will be in both places, too! ;)


One additional thought that I might add is that some neurologists have chosen to give Cushpups suffering from macrotumors a combo of both trilostane and prednisone, which truly seems counterintuitive. But to the best of my understanding, it is for this reason. In situations where a steroid is thought to be helpful in reducing swelling and inflammation, you want it to be dosed in a consistent and predictable way. That means that for a dog with Cushing's, you may want to make sure that the dog's own cortisol level remains under reasonable control before adding in the supplemental steroid. Otherwise, the natural cortisol can elevate by leaps and bounds, and you have no idea whether or how much supplemental prednisone to be adding into the mix. As I say, just one more thought to add.

Marianne

[liltara]

Thank you for a special thread for my Mojo!

I am so grateful for your replies - and I am going talk to my vet about trilostane and prednisone together. It is unconventional for sure, but it makes medical sense if you really think about it.

He has good days and bad days - just going to be working to make more good than bad as we deal with his palliative care.

He's given me so much joy and happiness the least I can do is make his time here as comfortable as possible.

[Carole Alexander]

Thank you for posting your experience with your efforts to treat Mojo with Vetoryl as I too am struggling to figure out an accurate diagnosis for my dog, Skippy; he was treated with Vetoryl for about five months after the pituitary Cushing's was confirmed. PU/PD improved but his cortisol was never under control and increasing doses caused extreme trembling, generally unwell, and finally refusal to eat. He has other behavioral/cognitive symptoms on and off Vetoryl but they are not typical of a macro as I read about the condition, e.g., no circling, head hanging, standing in corners. Mostly I see extreme lethargy, dullness, distancing, sometimes reluctance to walk, little interaction unless he wants to eat, go out or have a treat. His IMS doesn't think he has a macro, I am less certain. Off of Vetoryl, Skippy's BP skyrocketed to 220 and he is being treated for that. We go back to the IMS in early April but I am not sure where to go now. The IMS is recommending Lysodren.

What symptoms did Mojo have that led you to the macro conclusion? How is he behaving now? How was he on Vetoryl; was his cortisol under control? I know macro symptoms can be very subtle and nuanced but many Cushing's symptoms are very similar. I would really appreciate any additional detail that you could provide as I have become obsessed with figuring this out and am reaching the end of my rope. Thank you so much.

[liltara]

Hi! I am so sorry to hear about your Skippy and I sympathize with your frustration. This is a terrible disease and very upsetting for dog parents.

Re: your questions - basically, the macro diagnosis is one of elimination and not confirmed with an MRI. The continued difficulty of Mojo's inappetance when on even minimal doses of trilo was the main symptom that led to this conclusions. Based on my daily observation of him I concur with this diagnosis but I will never know for sure.

Mojo doesn't have the circling but he does generally just space out sometimes. He also exhibits all of the symptoms you listed down to the letter.

He is currently on 5mg every other day of trilo just to see if that will help a little with the pu/pd - this is an unorthodox approach but the vet scientist at Dechra recommended this based on Mojo's unique case. So far, I am seeing slight improvement and it is not causing inappetance so I will stick with it for a while.

For us, after so many months of frustrations we are managing his symptoms as best we can and learning to live with our new normal. It is challenging but we are enjoying each day and I've let go of my obsession to figure it out - it was all consuming and stressful. I am content with the likely diagnosis of a macro as it makes logical sense to me based on what I've learned and what I observe. It might not be the case, but for whatever reason Mojo just can't tolerate trilo at therapeutic doses.

I hope you find a place with Skippy's treatment that helps him as much as possible and allows you to enjoy spending time with him vs managing his illness all the time. I was literally obsessed with trying to find the perfect treatment that I was not enjoying the time I have with my little man. This is such a terrible illness and it really does deeply effect us.pet parents.

[Carole Alexander]

Thank you for your quick reply; it is helpful. I am struck by the large number of dogs on this forum who have suspected macro adenomas. I wonder if Drecha has begun to document this issue in their interactions with dog owners? If the prevalence is significantly higher than is generally documented in the literature, maybe a protocol could be developed to screen dogs behaviorally for macros as part of the diagnostic process for Cushing's, at least giving owners a heads up if they choose to pursue treatment.

[liltara]

I agree. I think it would be necessary for an MRI in each case to determine the size of the tumor. However, perhaps with more info now available to Dechra about the complications expected with trilo treatment, specifically the inappeatance, in dogs with macro tumors it would help many people avoid the stress and frustration I and many others are experiencing.

Had I been warned that in cases of macro these things might occur I would have at least been aware of what was happening vs desperate for answers.

I am glad we have this forum to have dialogue and help each other!!

[Carole Alexander]

Thanks for your comments on Skippy's post. I especially appreciate the "insanity bus". Skippy's BP, 230 ish, is now overriding all other issues. He is a very sick dog indeed. I know that next week the IMS is going to want to put him on Lysodren - a truly stressful decision. I wonder if he is even strong enough to endure the anesthetic for an MRI however, his eyes are still okay as of yesterday's check. Very sad and painful.

Yeah, Dechra could begin to compile data on suspected macros as well as other complications experienced by owners using Vetoryl, going beyond the possible bad side effects. I know their company is in the business of selling drugs, but they have funded plenty of research on Vetoryl and positive results are widely published. But, the devil is in the details and sorting out progressive disease, e.g., a growing macro, diabetes, CC, myotonia, from "cortisol too high" that leads to other conditions, is a complicated undertaking.

[PennysDad]

Welcome to the right place! There are many people here who are experts, and I am not one of them. Just another dog lover who is 18 months into the adventure that is Cushings disease. Just wanted to...

[Carole Alexander]

I posted on my thread about Skippy. Macroadenoma confirmed today. It is all so grim; I will let you know if there are any next steps on this end.

[liltara]

Carole - I just saw this! I am so sorry but also thankful you have a firm diagnosis.

Mojo continues to suffer - his inappetence is now unbearable for me and for him :( we are soldiering on but every day that goes by I know the time is coming to release him from this broken body he is carrying around.

Thank you for sharing your story - in hindsight, I wish I never treated this ... at the end of the day, I think he would have had a more comfortable end of life.

[molly muffin]

We never know what might have been. That is the sad part. Every decision we make, we do so at the time, with the facts we have. Looking back, and I do understand, as I've done the same a few times, would it have been better or would it have been worse. It might have been either and we'll never know, not having the ability to time machine backwards or forwards, but I know that just as I did, you based every decision made on the facts you had available.
Don't beat yourself up over that. Just concentrate on today and tomorrow.

HUGS!

[Carole Alexander]

Liltara, thank you for your post and I am so sorry that Mojo's macro is causing increasing inappetance. With a macro you don't know where the mass will strike next. Will it be inappetance, will he go blind, will hypertension strike suddenly and so on. But please don't second guess your decision to treat; you acted on the best information that you could secure. No one, and I mean no one,could predict what the next debilitating symptom would be. But I do empathize with your feelings; Skippy was functioning much higher last year when I started him on Vetoryl and he has gone progressively down hill since. But, who's to say that it wouldn't have gone that way regardless? I started Skippy on a drug that is highly experimental, a dopamine agonist called Cabergoline. Two days of inappetance but that has passed. Cognitive issues are about the same although I see glimmers of aliveness in him right now. But his BP is sky high and maybe the meds are bringing it down - who knows? But it is simply horrible that our dogs are dying by inches and we are helpless to help them. My thoughts are with you and Mojo and I hope that this ending is as peaceful as the fight has been turbulent and I'm sure at times terrifying.

Carole, Skippy's mom

[Joan2517]

I know how you feel. I wonder if I had not treated Lena, if she would have lasted longer. In my heart, I feel I should have left her alone, but if I did and she died anyway, I would have felt I should have treated her...it's a terrible thing, not knowing.

I know she knew I loved her, and I know she loved me...and in the end, I guess that's all that really matters.

We can only do what we can do with what we know at the time.

[liltara]

Joan and Carole thank you for your kinds words - it really helps me to look at this that way. Had I not treated and things went downhill more rapidly I would be feeling the same way about NOT treating. Truly a horrible dilemma.

Mojo is now Vetoryl free and will be until his end of life. I simply cannot tolerate the complete inappetence that comes along with it. Frankly, it really wasn't helping anyway.

Last year when he started treatment his Cushings symptoms were out of control - voracious appetite to the point of disturbing, VERY excessive drinking, rapid muscle loss and he was just running at like 1000000 miles an hour on the inside. It was almost like you could see the speed of his insides ... I am not sure how long he could have handled that high level of cortisol. It was pretty intense.

After Vetroyl the 1st go round the symptoms were managed for about 8 weeks and he was doing great considering his condition. Then the inappetence and vomiting struck and it's been a steady but slow decline, with varying levels of meds in an attempt to regulate without inappetence, with no success. His cognitive symptoms certainly became more apparent but for now he is not deaf, blind or having seizures. Sigh ...

He continues to be mostly inappetent since I stopped the meds but he eats the minimum so we are satisfied with that for now. I am hopeful it will increase as the cortisol increases and the disease progresses.

I really appreciate the opportunity to share this with others who understand.

[Harley PoMMom]

Trying to find something that they will eat when they have lost their appetite sure is a feeling of hopelessness and heartbreak. My Harley had a really good appetite even before Cushing's and when that elevated cortisol took control his hunger became voracious. So when he lost interest in eating it just tore me up. :(

I completely understand, and FWIW, agree with the decision to cease the Vetoryl. Getting them to eat when they don't want to is the primary focus and I will hope and pray that Mojo's appetite will pick up.

I also hope that you know we are here for you always and that you can come here to share any and all emotions that you are feeling. We are here with our arms wide open to comfort, help and support, you are part of our family and that is what families are supposed to do. ;)

(((Hugs))) Lori

[Carole Alexander]

Hi Liltara,
Just checking in to see how Mojo's doing? If you want to talk about the eating issue, or want other ideas of things to try, I'm here to listen. I have only experienced it a few times with Skippy but I know how upsetting it is when they won't even look at food. At any rate, I just want you to know that I am thinking about you.
Best,
Carole

[liltara]

Thanks, Carole. I saw some encouraging news on your Skippy thread - so glad he is feeling somewhat comfortable and his BP is down.

Mojo continues his inappetence - it is so stressful to see him refuse food and leave bowls of food in front of him. He's eating enough to survive - about 1/2 of what he should be eating, but it is a continuous battle that is hard on both of us.

He is stable for now - sleeping through the night, no accidents in the house although that is probably because I work in my home office and can let him out every few hours. Sometimes his neuro symptoms are really sad - staring out into space, putting his head down into the water dish and seemingly forgetting how to do it, wandering off into a room for no reason ...

I am taking it one day at a time. I am not sure if his appetite will ever return - he's been off Vetoryl for over a week now. We shall see.

Thank you for thinking of me and my Mojo. It's not his time yet, he is still able to "be a dog" which is my test of when it is time to cross over. When they can't walk, eat, go outside for potty or do basic dog things that is when I know their time has come ... that test has worked well for me with several doggies and I live by it. So for now, we are doing ok. He sleeps on my lap a lot and I cherish every minute - even though he is 45 lbs! LOL

[Carole Alexander]

Thanks for posting, especially about the eating issues. If Mojo has only been off Vetoryl for a week, his appetite may improve. I don't remember exactly how long it took Skippy to return to eating after Vetoryl and I'm well aware that the answer for many dogs is never. Since starting the Cabergoline on the 13th of April, Skippy has been eating well, until this morning when he refused to eat a variety of offerings. I gave him the Cabergoline at dinner last night.

I have had several email exchanges with Scott-Moncrieff at Purdue and now with Dave Bruyette re: the macro and I will post more detail on my thread. I keep reading but there is so little research and so few answers. BTW, I no longer worry about what Skippy eats, but that he continues to eat. I will do a store run for a couple of cans of Spam shortly as it's one of his favs. A 45 lb lap dog sounds wonderful; what breed (s) is he?

[liltara]

Just wanted to check in here to let everyone know that Mojo is eating much better now - he's on something called Mirtazapine to stimulate his appetite and is has been working for about 10 days now.

I called the vet at wit's end about 2 weeks ago and asked if there was anything we could try to stimulate his appetite and low and behold, this came about. I am annoyed it took this long to try it but for Mojo, it is working!

He is off Vetoryl and I will not be putting him back on it. For now, he is just taking his Mirtazapine and is doing well considering.

He's started to get a little incontinent in the overnights but nothing I can't manage with a disposable male wrap (doggie diaper but doesn't cover the back end). It's more leaking than actual peeing - weak in his front legs from the muscle loss and it takes a effort to push himself up. When he tries to move around at night he pees a little. No biggie with the wraps though.

So, we are living out the rest of his life medication free for the Cushing's and just riding out the wave ... we have good days and bad days but he's eating and happy for the most part.

I am so grateful to have found something to help him eat ... we are enjoying the days we have together and I wake up each morning grateful for another day. If your dog is having inappetence I suggest giving this drug a try ... it is truly a miracle for us.

[molly muffin]

Yay that is very good news that he is eating.
I think it's more important than cushing treatment that he eat well

Quality of life as we say constantly, really is everything

[Carole Alexander]

I am so glad that you posted and that Mojo is eating! Why in the world didn't the vet tell you about this drug? But I won't rag on the vet's lack of responsiveness. Instead, I commend you for being such an excellent advocate for Mojo. How are his other cognitive symptoms? I will post an update on Skippy on my thread but suffice it to say that he is not the dog he was six months ago. Best to you and Mojo.

Carole

[liltara]

Hi Carole!

Right?!? I was annoyed with him at first but then I realized that I really never pushed for a solution on the inappetence because I was so preoccupied with trying to get the Vetoryl dose correct, etc.

It was only after I totally gave up on the Vetoryl and he was still inappetent that I started to ask what we might be able to do. I am so relieved that he is eating ... some days more than others, but enough that he is getting good nutrition.

I am with you on Skippy not being the dog he was 6 months ago. Mojo's decline has been steady and he is definitely not the dog he was last May. I am grateful that I have this time (and a job that allows me to care for him day in and day out) and we are just savoring our moments together.

His cognitive symptoms continue to develop - I think his depth perception is now off because he hesitates to step down one step into the mud room and he seems to forget how to step over things. He picks up his foot like he knows he needs to do that but the signal gets crossed somewhere in his brain. He also is still staring into the water bowl for a good 30 seconds sometimes before he starts to drink. It is heartbreaking.

I am grateful that we are able to manage his symptoms so he still has decent quality of life. I'll know when it is time for him to cross the bridge, but for now he seems content managing with the adaptions we have put into place for daily life.

Wishing you some quality time with Skippy this weekend!

[Whiskey's Mom]

I'm glad he is eating with the help of the appetite stimulant. It's such a feeling of victory when you get them to eat. I witnessed the slow steady decline with Whiskey, and it's true that they happily adjust to the changes we make for them. He is my first dog and everyone told me I would know when the time came. I wasn't so sure but we did. You know-they tell you. Quality of life is everything, glad you can spend time with him. Please give him hugs and belly rubs from me.

[molly muffin]

I started tapping when my molly couldn't see the step. I'd just put my foot on the step and tap it until she realized where it was exactly. She got really good and would wait for the tap and then boom up or down she would go. I wouldn't let her do more than a step or two at most though as the chances of a fall and hurting herself was too great, but she did still love to take the step up to the door.

We become inventive I think to help them, and they are such smart cookies, they pick it up very quickly.

[liltara]

Hi Everyone -

Well, we are at the crossroads. Mojo's slow and steady decline continues and over this past week his quality of life has really taken a hit. The muscle loss from the Cushing's has really robbed him of any strength and I must now assist him almost always to get up from a laying down position.

He did not eat yesterday and refused his breakfast this morning. He seems hungry and goes to his food but stares at it ... even with the appetite stimulant.

I know that is it time. I've begun preparations to make the appointment for his crossing to the bridge. I've been crying sporadically and at very odd times - what a strange thing to deal with. I love this animal so much and I know this is the best thing for him and for us ... but it hurts and hurts and hurts :( It is the least selfish thing we can do for them when we know they are struggling so hard but it is also the most difficult decision. My heart hurts.

He's been my faithful little dude for 10 years and I am so grateful this special boy was in my life for so long. I will miss him so much - he really is unique and has a personality that is like no other dog I've met or owned. When I adopted him all those years ago and he was just a 12 week old runt puppy from a litter of 13 who were rescued from a kill shelter in Arkansas, his foster dad told me as I loaded him into the puppy crate "There's really something special about this one ..." He was right ...

I thank all of you here on this forum who share your stories and hope - this has been a lifeline for me as I navigated his disease for the past year.

Wishing each of you as many quality days with your fur babies as possible and thank you again for helping me.

[DoxieMama]

I am so sorry to learn Mojo is struggling so much. My heart hurts with you.

[Joan2517]

I'm so sorry...it's so hard to let them go, even when we know it's the right thing to do.

[labblab]

I'm so deeply sorry, too, that this time has come. If it would bring you some solace, I hope you will continue to rely on us in the days to come. You and Mojo will always remain treasured members of our family, and we are here to walk alongside you as you take these hardest steps of all. I will be wishing peace and comfort to you both. And please give Mojo a giant loving hug for all of us here.

Holding you both in my heart,
Marianne

[Squirt's Mom]

Oh how I know your pain today making these preparations, or at least as best you can because we are never really prepared for such a loss. Please know we are there with you and Mojo in Spirit, surrounding you both with love and strength and courage.

Our thoughts and prayers are with you.
Hugs,
Leslie and the gang



Guardian Angel of Pets

Hello, I've been expecting you for quite some time.
Here, come sit beside us for awhile
and let me tell you about this old friend of mine.
He might look tattered or maybe old
But I won't say goodbye until you've been told.
He had the brightest eyes I had ever seen,
And wore a beautiful fur coat that would out shine a king.
He was never prissy but walked with an aire ......
And oh so polite, you could take him most anywhere.
He could run like the wind and could catch anything he chased
But he protected and sat with me when I had problems to face.
You could not find a friend nearly so dear,
Because no matter the trouble he always stayed near.
He has never asked for much from me;
Just to love and respect him and I think you'll agree
To give him a good meal plus a nice warm bed is not much to ask
When he has given me all his love and to him this was no task.
Now I understand you have a schedule to keep.
But I have a small favor before he nods off to sleep.
Please fold your wings around him and let him feel young while in no pain.
Dear Guardian Angel of Pets,
please keep him safe and happy until I see him again.

Ginger Patton

[Harley PoMMom]

I am so sorry too, you both are in my thoughts and prayers.

[Bluester]

I am so sorry my heart aches for you, Mojo and your family during this difficult time. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

Laura

[Whiskey's Mom]

I'm so so sorry too. I'm right here with you knowing the fresh hurt and sorrow at losing my boy too. I thought I had prepared myself and cried many tears before the time actually came, but I'm still crying one week later, dreading coming home without his sweet face there to greet me. The emptiness in this house is so thick and heavy, but I know we did the right thing for him. Being able to come here to this forum has really helped. Whiskey will welcome Mojo at the Bridge I'm sure. I'll be thinking of you.
Annie

[Budsters Mom]

I am truly sorry.:o Such a brave boy.

Hugs,
Kathy

[Carole Alexander]

Oh Lilatara, I so hoped that Mojo would rally and that you and he would have more time together. I am so, so sorry. Your little dude is quite the trooper and has shown such strength in enduring his macro and Cushing's for all this time. And, you are an incredible mama to so tenderly care for him through all of this ordeal. I so appreciate your clarity in knowing when it is time, when further heroics are to no avail, when the pain for Mojo and you outweighs the gain. Your journey with Mojo is a model for me and I hope for others, in understanding the limits of love, of caretaking, of treatment and of sacrifice in overcoming the debilitation caused by a Macro and Cushing's. My eyes are welling with tears and my heart aches for you and Mojo. Please know that I and many others here are always here - for you.

[liltara]

Mojo died peacefully yesterday at 12:45pm in the arms of his parents. He was not alone and he was surrounded by love for his journey ...

This pain is so heavy I am overwhelmed. I did not expect this - after so much time of knowing this was coming, watching him decline and mentally preparing myself for months I find that I am totally unprepared for this deep and painful sadness.

He is survived by his sister Cassidy who was adopted on the same day and has been by his side for all of his life. She still needs me, and I am determined to continue giving her the best life I can. She misses him but is adapting better than me and my husband, that is for sure.

I know that it was his time, I know that I did not allow him to suffer needlessly when I knew that he was in pain - he really did not show signs of pain until a few days ago. And I also know that time will heal and I will smile in his memory someday instead of crying a river of tears.

But for now, it is a crushing blow to this doggie mommy who loved her little boy to the moon and back. I don't know how to get out from under this, but I will ... from his place among the doggie angels he will give me strength like he had fighting this terrible disease for all this time.

I will continue to come here and draw strength from all of you too - it gives me great comfort to read your condolences. I know you all understand the complexities of this journey ... thank you.

[Joan2517]

I'm so, so sorry...he was a lucky boy to be part of such a loving family and to be in your arms as he drifted off to Heaven. I wish that I had been there for my Lena.

Sending you many hugs and comforting thoughts....

[Budsters Mom]

Fly free Mojo, Fly free!

[Squirt's Mom]

Your sweet boy is whole again today. His body and his mind are strong and fully functioning just as they once were. His pain and confusion are ended and only joy, love, and gratitude remain. Today he is chasing rabbits and butterflies in the Rainbow Fields surrounded by so many from here who will show him the ropes. On that day when our jobs here on Earth are done and it is our time to cross that bridge, our babies will be there to meet us. Your precious Mojo will fly into your arms and cover your face with kisses...and from then on you will be together. Til then our babies watch over us. I know your sweet boy flew from this life on the wings of love.


Our deepest sympathies,
Leslie, Trinket, Sophie, Fox, Bud, and all our angels

[Whiskey's Mom]

Sharing in your sadness...knowing we did the right thing but heartbroken and missing our babies just the same. I love Leslie's last post here. So beautiful and gives me hope too. Take care, Annie.

[DoxieMama]

Sending you many hugs across the miles.

[Harley PoMMom]

I am so terribly sorry too. Losing them sure is heartbreaking, and even though the decision to release them is absolutely the right thing to do, it still shatters our heart to pieces. You and your husband are in my thoughts and prayers, please remember that we are here for you and always will be.

With Heartfelt Sympathy,
Lori

[molly muffin]

I am very sorry to hear of Mojo's passing. Even when the brain and everything else tells you that the time is right to do this for him, the heart is on it's own journey and it takes much longer for it to catch up with what reality is.
I hope that is a good way of expressing it. Many of us, maybe all of us, have been down this path and the heart wants what it wants and it wants forever.

Sending you big hugs and strength. My sincerest condolences.

[labblab]

Oh Sharlene, that was a perfect way of expressing it for us all. You are exactly right. The heart wants what it wants and it wants it forever. Forever... :o :o :o

Marianne

[Whiskey's Mom]

Exactly!! This morning I had a crying jag and said : I don't want another dog, I just want my Whiskey :(:(
Miss him so badly

[Joan2517]

Some days the missing is so much, so hard to bear. I miss Lena all the time, but there are days where I just can't function. I look at her pictures over and over, reread her thread, try to make sense of it all...and of course, I can't because I just want her back with me, where I can hold her, kiss her and tell her a million times how much I love her.

[molly muffin]

That has been my problem since Molly passed away. I look at rescues and the cutest little dogs and big dogs and they just are not molly. Even when I found one, local, that looked just like molly and was named..wait for it..molly. It still wasn't my molly. I knew that no matter what, the personality, the way she ruled out lives, the little diva she was, just could not be replicated and that I shouldn't try to do so. The mind has said, yes so many times, but the heart still says nope, not what I really want. I can never have what I really want, so just waiting one day at a time for the heart to catch up with the rest of my life.

[Joan2517]

It sucks...

[Budsters Mom]

Losing a heart dog, even when you are freeing them from their pain, shatters your heart into a million pieces. Recovery can be long and extremely emotional. We all recover at different rates and different ways. Some of us NEVER get over the loss, we just learn to live with it and go on. We want them back, but it is not to be. That's why it hurts so very much.:o

We understand that so very well here.

Kathy

[Mari]

I've really been missing Daisy the past few days, because I've been outside more with the return of sunny weather (she loved her yard time and walkies); the other day I found her leash with the daisy print, while cleaning-I had put it under the guest room bed as I couldn't bear to throw it out :( And last evening we were out running errands and I saw two people crying in a local veterinarian's parking lot and I just felt for them so much....

[Mari]

So very, very sorry.

[skinnybonedog]

The pain you all have and are going through is just so heartbreaking....sending you all a virtual hug!

[Carole Alexander]

Dear Liltara,
I hope that you and your husband are feeling stronger and thank you for your support of my crazy efforts to help Skippy. I will post more soon about the grief and decision making regarding our dogs with these terminal illnesses. But I just want to again reinforce and support you in making the decision that it was time to let Mojo go. Everyday as I fight for Skippy to experience some improved quality of life, I continue to ask myself if this is about Skippy or my unwillingness to accept what is. You had the courage to face that question and more and to take action on Mojo's behalf. I commend your strength and wisdom and hope that you can find solace in knowing that you did the proper thing to end Mojo's suffering.
Carole

[liltara]

Hi All -

My Mojo is home with me now ... picked up his ashes on Thursday. I am glad to have the logistics of the whole situation over with ... now it is time to start the journey to healing and acceptance.

Unfortunately, I experienced another great loss last weekend ... my best friend of 40 years passed away unexpectedly on the same day as Mojo. I didn't know about it until Tuesday morning, but somehow it gives me comfort knowing that my Mojo was there to meet her on the the other side. He was goofy and so was she and I know they are together up there and free of pain and suffering.

It's been a rough week for me and my family. I find solace in this community and thank you all for your kind words and support once again.

[Joan2517]

Oh, that is so sad...you surely have had a rough time. Sending comforting thoughts to you and your family.

[Harley PoMMom]

I am so sorry, losing one's furry best friend is hard enough to handle and I can't even imagine how sad it is losing two best friends on the same day, my heart goes out to you.

Sending huge loving and comforting hugs your way, Lori

[molly muffin]

oh my gosh, that's a when it rains it pours scenario of the worst kind. :(
I'm so very sorry. Each of their losses, adds onto the heart ache for each. That is completely overwhelming.

[Whiskey's Mom]

My heart aches for you. I'm so, so sorry. Part of each of them will always be with you, in your heart forever.

[liltara]

Carole - I continue to follow Skippy's journey and I am still inspired by your commitment to his care and quality of life. Had I known at the beginning of Mojo's journey that the trilostane would hasten the growth of his tumor, I would absolutely have considered radiation (no matter what the cost).

Common sense and my research tells me that the future of macro treatment does not include Vetoryl as a first line of defense and that radiation or other tumor controlling/shrinking treatments will be at the forefront. Of course, there is much research to be done and such but having watched my Mojo go through the disease progression I can say with full confidence that macro treatment must be considered differently than controllable (typical) Cushing's.

That said, I just wanted to post one last time here and say how much I've appreciated the support that you and others gave me during my darkest days with Mojo. I do hope I was able to return the favor in even the smallest way.

Coming here now, at this point in my grieving process, is not positive for me - I am finally thinking of Mojo with smiles and not tears (at least not every day!) and visiting this site reminds me of the great sadness I experienced during the late stages of his illness. I am eternally grateful for this site and will keep it bookmarked for future use if I should ever, God forbid, have another dog afflicted with this terrible illness.

I will continually pray for Skippy and you - I wish you both the best of days and experiences and happiness as you continue your journey together. You are what all pet parents should be, Carole. :)

[labblab]

Carole - I continue to follow Skippy's journey and I am still inspired by your commitment to his care and quality of life. Had I known at the beginning of Mojo's journey that the trilostane would hasten the growth of his tumor, I would absolutely have considered radiation (no matter what the cost).

Common sense and my research tells me that the future of macro treatment does not include Vetoryl as a first line of defense and that radiation or other tumor controlling/shrinking treatments will be at the forefront. Of course, there is much research to be done and such but having watched my Mojo go through the disease progression I can say with full confidence that macro treatment must be considered differently than controllable (typical) Cushing's.

That said, I just wanted to post one last time here and say how much I've appreciated the support that you and others gave me during my darkest days with Mojo. I do hope I was able to return the favor in even the smallest way.

Coming here now, at this point in my grieving process, is not positive for me - I am finally thinking of Mojo with smiles and not tears (at least not every day!) and visiting this site reminds me of the great sadness I experienced during the late stages of his illness. I am eternally grateful for this site and will keep it bookmarked for future use if I should ever, God forbid, have another dog afflicted with this terrible illness.

I will continually pray for Skippy and you - I wish you both the best of days and experiences and happiness as you continue your journey together. You are what all pet parents should be, Carole. :)

Dear liltara,

I saw that you had posted this very sweet closing note on Carole's thread earlier this morning, and I have placed a copy here on your own thread, as well. It is such a fitting tribute to sweet Mojo, and also a tribute to the loving support that you've so kindly provided to so many others here.

You and Mojo will forever remain treasured members of our family. I totally understand why this chapter is closing for you. But if you should ever wish to return in the future, we'll always be here to greet you once again with open arms.

All best wishes to you, always. And please know that sweet Mojo will forever remain in the loving memory of our K9C family.

Marianne