SasAndYunah
12-01-2016, 04:54 PM
I know there are many people on this board struggling with the loss of their beloved dog... For some it has been more recent, for others it's an already longer lasting struggle.
Those that have known me longer, may still remember how I have lost 4 dogs in a very short time. Boncuk, the one that brought me here, a severly abused Turkish stray dog. Then there was Sogno, a Lagotto pup supposed to become my service dog, an old sould that unfortunately lived very, very briefly. Then there was Yunah, a Lab x Border Collie mix, my soulmate, my exceptional service dog. Yunah too passed away much to soon.... And then Mhina came in to my life, a sweet, beautiful Labradoodle. She too passed away after not even 2 years. And with each loss, it became more and more difficult to start over again. To let another dog into my life and to love again.
After Mhina, the fourth dog to die in less then 10 years, I really wasn't sure anymore if I could do it again. I didn't think I could...I could not go through such a loss anymore. I sat on my bed for at least a week, with Mhina's blanket wrapped around myself... crying, not eating, not answering the phone, not wanting to see anyone, not sleeping....sat on the bed wrapped in that blanket like a ghost. For the longest time I couldn't go outside without crying my eyes out, it was the worst time in my life. But my progressing ilness made me realise, I needed a dog in my life, to help me go through life, to support me and that I really longed for the company, the love, the tgetherness, the friendship that each and every dog had given me during their lifetime, wheather it was long or short. So I started to look around for another dog...I have dismissed hundreds of them...because I knew I had to wait for that one dog...that one dog that wasn't only able to help me as a service dog, but that one dog that also had what it took to help me overcome my fear of loving again, that one dog that would make me see the joy a dog brings and not made me remember the pain and sadness of the goodbye's.
Several of you know Quincy... my current service dog and best friend :) Through her, life is good again, I smile, sing, we go for walks, she makes me laugh, she makes my life so much easier with everything she does while I get worse and worse... But she is there, with me, helping me, standing beside me and catching me when I fall :)
It's not that I neccesairily wanted to share the above story...but I wanted to share what I have learned and for that I needed you to know a bit of the background...
But life, the losses, each of my dogs have learned me one important lesson. After every loss I felt like my heart was empty and that nothing or no one could ever fill that empty void in my heart. And that is true... that special place in my heart that is Boncuk's, Sogno's, Yunah's and Mhina's remains their special place in my heart. None of the other dogs have taken up that space... But what I learned through it all, is that our heart doesn't "shrink" a bit more with each loss...but it grows. With every new dog, my heart would grow to create room for the "new comer" and it wouldn't take any room from the others, they all have their original place and space in my heart and they will always be there. So, for all of them to be fitting in my heart, it had to grow...and it did :)
There is this one musical I love very much, especially since I love the words of the songs so much, Jekkyl and Hyde :) And there is this one song, that I will often sing to Quincy, when we are on our walks or just relaxing and cuddling on the bed....
http://www.broadwayworld.com/videoplay/STAGE-TUBE-Watch-Voctave-and-Jody-McBrayer-Perform-Someone-Like-You-from-JEKYLL-AND-HYDE-20160330
I used to feel like this song...but now I can sincerely sing to Quincy... "Someone like you, found someone like me" :)
And if this song, this story can help just one other person....going through a difficult time then it all has been worth it. And never, never ever loose hope... it can and will work out in time, it will, I am convinced it will...
Big hugs to all,
Saskia and Quincy :)
Those that have known me longer, may still remember how I have lost 4 dogs in a very short time. Boncuk, the one that brought me here, a severly abused Turkish stray dog. Then there was Sogno, a Lagotto pup supposed to become my service dog, an old sould that unfortunately lived very, very briefly. Then there was Yunah, a Lab x Border Collie mix, my soulmate, my exceptional service dog. Yunah too passed away much to soon.... And then Mhina came in to my life, a sweet, beautiful Labradoodle. She too passed away after not even 2 years. And with each loss, it became more and more difficult to start over again. To let another dog into my life and to love again.
After Mhina, the fourth dog to die in less then 10 years, I really wasn't sure anymore if I could do it again. I didn't think I could...I could not go through such a loss anymore. I sat on my bed for at least a week, with Mhina's blanket wrapped around myself... crying, not eating, not answering the phone, not wanting to see anyone, not sleeping....sat on the bed wrapped in that blanket like a ghost. For the longest time I couldn't go outside without crying my eyes out, it was the worst time in my life. But my progressing ilness made me realise, I needed a dog in my life, to help me go through life, to support me and that I really longed for the company, the love, the tgetherness, the friendship that each and every dog had given me during their lifetime, wheather it was long or short. So I started to look around for another dog...I have dismissed hundreds of them...because I knew I had to wait for that one dog...that one dog that wasn't only able to help me as a service dog, but that one dog that also had what it took to help me overcome my fear of loving again, that one dog that would make me see the joy a dog brings and not made me remember the pain and sadness of the goodbye's.
Several of you know Quincy... my current service dog and best friend :) Through her, life is good again, I smile, sing, we go for walks, she makes me laugh, she makes my life so much easier with everything she does while I get worse and worse... But she is there, with me, helping me, standing beside me and catching me when I fall :)
It's not that I neccesairily wanted to share the above story...but I wanted to share what I have learned and for that I needed you to know a bit of the background...
But life, the losses, each of my dogs have learned me one important lesson. After every loss I felt like my heart was empty and that nothing or no one could ever fill that empty void in my heart. And that is true... that special place in my heart that is Boncuk's, Sogno's, Yunah's and Mhina's remains their special place in my heart. None of the other dogs have taken up that space... But what I learned through it all, is that our heart doesn't "shrink" a bit more with each loss...but it grows. With every new dog, my heart would grow to create room for the "new comer" and it wouldn't take any room from the others, they all have their original place and space in my heart and they will always be there. So, for all of them to be fitting in my heart, it had to grow...and it did :)
There is this one musical I love very much, especially since I love the words of the songs so much, Jekkyl and Hyde :) And there is this one song, that I will often sing to Quincy, when we are on our walks or just relaxing and cuddling on the bed....
http://www.broadwayworld.com/videoplay/STAGE-TUBE-Watch-Voctave-and-Jody-McBrayer-Perform-Someone-Like-You-from-JEKYLL-AND-HYDE-20160330
I used to feel like this song...but now I can sincerely sing to Quincy... "Someone like you, found someone like me" :)
And if this song, this story can help just one other person....going through a difficult time then it all has been worth it. And never, never ever loose hope... it can and will work out in time, it will, I am convinced it will...
Big hugs to all,
Saskia and Quincy :)