Trying to decide if it's time to let go

[AlexxPruitt9715]

I have a Jack Russell mix dog that's about 15 years old. She has been going through a pretty rough time lately and my parents and I have been back and forth trying to decide if it's time to put her to sleep. She hasn't ever actually been diagnosed with Cushing's but I've done loads of research and she displays about 99% of the symptoms. She has thin legs and a thin face with a very large potbelly. She has a lot of trouble breathing, which causes her to snore loudly and do this sort of panting thing when she's breathing. She drinks more than I've ever seen any animal drink before. Sometimes she can drink 3 large water bowls dry in one sitting. She's constantly acting like she's starving for food. She's even resorted to eating the cardboard box of sinus medicine off of my bedside table recently. She urinates lakes of urine at a time all over the house and nonstop. She has tumor-like lumps all over her body. She has occasional seizure and constant tremors. She also has a lot of trouble walking up the stairs or getting up and can no longer jump on the bed, couch, or get in the car without assistance. I realize this all sounds awful but what has been keeping us from making the decision to euthanize for so long is the fact that she still wags her tail, gets really excited and jumps on us when she sees us, and barks happily during dinner time. I hate seeing her so happy at times because it makes it difficult to tell myself it's time to let her go. I need a second opinion basically. Someone to tell me that it's okay. Please help. :(

[Jade]

Hello, I am so sorry for your dog and your family :-(

I know that time and expense are difficult, but I would definitely consult with a vet ASAP - that professional advice can give you peace and helpful ways to deal with the issues. Treatment may vastly improve many symptoms such that you might not even be thinking of putting her down anymore. Yes, they all have elderly issues, but it may be reduced to such that you feel it is manageable for your pet and your family. My most sincere advice is please find and consult with an experienced veterinarian that you trust, and try to be strong enough so that your own emotions/feelings won't get in the way of making what is truly the best decision for your pet.

Definitely while the dog is still wagging his tail and happy to see you and eat his food, the dog is healthy and happy enough to stay alive - I think it would be a tragedy to put such a dog to sleep. Your dog is very happy to be alive based on these signs, and wants to spend more time with your family. If your family can't handle it, I would look into finding someone who can adopt the dog who can provide a home for him. In that sense, it may be time to let him go - but to another owner. I personally can't stress this enough! Your dog doesn't want to die based on these signs he is showing. If your family can't handle this for whatever reason, please don't go it alone - reach out for help to others, the vet, rescue organizations, friends, etc. Again, with proper treatment, many of the symptoms may get much better, and that would also help with someone else adopting the dog if that is the best decision for the dog. I once had to rehome some pets - the fact was that there was a long-term situation going on that prevented me from providing the best care. I missed them, but i was happy that they had found a home where the owner could give them the attention and freedom/playtime that they really needed and deserved.

As for when it truly is time to euthanize...I haven't done this yet, but I know someone who went through this process. It was confusing, because he saw the dog having a harder time, and wondered if it was time for him to go...but then he learned to see the dog was fine - the dog adjusted to the new changes that came with older age and the health problems (and proper medical treatment), he was still happy even though his life and abilities had changed. It lived fine like that far longer than expected, considering the health problems. When it was time, the dog let his owner know. It was hard for him to explain, but he said his dog just let him know in a way that he knew for sure the dog actually wanted to go - he turned to his owner for help to transition and end the suffering when it became too much and medicine could no longer help. He had lived a full life, and part of that full life included the older years when he was weaker and had more health problems and received lots of special care and attention from his owner and all the proper medical treatment.

It is very admirable for a you to support for lovely creature in his weakest moments when he relies on you the most, and loves you so much that despite his health problems he still enjoys your company and loves your family. He would enjoy his last years even more with proper medical treatment - the vet could address the problems or at least make the pet more comfortable.

[dsbailey]

I agree with Jade, if you've not tried everything and you can still see "your girl" when you look her in the eyes - don't give up.

[SasAndYunah]

Hi and welcome from me as well :) Could I ask what your precious girl is called? :)

As far as the "when is it time?" question...there is no one answer. There are so many variables and each situation is different and should be looked at seperately. And also, different people have different ideas about the subject.

So, let me explain my general views on this difficult question :)

And lets begin with understanding that in this case, I will talk about an older pet because in the case of a young(er) pet I would think differently on certain aspects most likely.

First thing what I would do, is take the dog to a vet and have it examined because I would like to know what was going on. The reason for this is, if it's something that could be relatively easily cured or controled and would not have a huge impact on the dog's quality of life, I would go for that treatment.
But when it is not easily cured or controled or if the result of the treatment would be questionable or very shortterm? I probably would opt to see if there was anything that could be done to make the pet comfortable...in other words, take away the pain if it's there for example.

To me, the dogs quality of life would be most important. Is it still a dogworthy life? And what is a dogworthy life? Is it when a dog feels miserable the most part of the day but still wags it's tail when it's dinnertime? Is that moment enough to say it's still dogworthy because it still wags its tail...eventhough it is just one, two or three times a day? There are 24 hours in a day... If I was feeling poorly, old, fatigued and sick...and I had three moments in those 24 hours where I felt a bit more cheery because my meals were brought in? Would I consider that as quality of life? I don't think so...it still would leave me with 23 hours of feeling bad. To me personally, wagging a tail at occassion does not equal quality of life...at most the quality of that moment. It's when those moments are no longer in balance with the rest of the hours in a day...to me, that's no longer a dogworthy life.

But thats just how I view it :)

Best of luck,

Saskia and Quincy.

[DoxieMama]

Welcome to you and your Jack Russell mix, though I am so sorry you both - and your parents, too, are having such a difficult time now. As Saskia said, everyone has their opinion regarding making this decision. If you are looking for someone to "tell you it's okay" ... honestly, as Jade and Saskia both said, a veterinarian would be the right person to help with that.

I have personally taken both a cat and a dog for a "quality of life assessment" where the vet provided his professional opinion as to the health and quality of life based on their physical health and my explanation of their day to day activities. The vet can determine upon examination if she is in pain, which may be a possibility given your post, and will offer you the options they believe in the best interest of your girl. It will still be your decision to care for her as you believe to be best, whether that means treatment and medications to help resolve outstanding issues, treatment to make her comfortable or freeing her from the pains and struggles of this life and letting her go.

If her condition can be treated but you cannot afford that treatment, that makes the decision so much more difficult. I have been there, too, with a dog who had lymphoma. The treatment was far, far too expensive for us to consider... though our decision was made easier by the fact that the prognosis was not positive either way.

Your girl's condition may be too far advanced, with whatever she may be facing, or there may be treatment options available.

Regardless, I hope you will let us know how she is doing, and what decision you and your family make.

[labblab]

Welcome from me, too, although I'm very sorry that your girl is struggling and that your family is faced with such tough questions and decisions. I feel I must "second" the excellent advice you've already been given -- that unfortunately, none of us are in the position to be able to tell you what the right or best thing is to do. This is a decision that only you and your family can make in conjunction with your vet's assessment.

The reason why I say this is because you are the only ones who have knowledge of your girl's total experience each day and each night. It is good that she wags her tail and seems happy at times, but if the majority of her hours are otherwise uncomfortable or painful, then the balance of her quality of life may tip the other way. As a personal example, my husband and I made the heart-breaking decision to euthanize our senior girl earlier this summer when she suffered orthopedic issues in her rear-end that finally resulted in her inability to walk. Even though she must have been experiencing significant pain, on the very morning she left us she was still wagging her tail, holding a toy in her mouth, and literally trying to crawl across the floor to us. Her mind was totally intact, it was her body that had failed her. I would have given anything if we could have asked her what she wanted us to do. But we had to make that decision on her behalf, along with our vet that morning who believed she had to be feeling increasing and irreversible pain regardless of her wagging tail and unclouded eyes.

My personal belief is that overall quality of life cannot be judged on the basis of a few select signs or signals. It must be the dog's overall experience that must be judged. You and your parents are the best judges as to how much pleasure your girl still experiences throughout the course of each day. And since, outwardly, dogs can be very stoic when it comes to pain, the professional opinion of a vet can be especially helpful in that regard.

You must bear in mind that each one of us here carries our own baggage in terms of choices we've made for our own dogs. So our comments to you will undoubtedly be colored by things we think we've done both right and wrong, ourselves :o. But my own thought is that we, as owners, bear the awesome responsibility of making these quality of life decisions based on our own observations of our dogs' daily lives as opposed to waiting for a specific signal. Here's a quote that, to me, really captures both that responsibility and also that burden.


By convincing ourselves that our pets will “tell us” when it is time to die, we risk two hazards: Prolonging a pet’s suffering by waiting for a sign that never comes, or torturing ourselves with guilt for acting “too soon.”

The painful truth is that if your pet is terminally ill, and especially if it is suffering and unable to function, it will die; the decision you must make is not whether its life will end, but how, and how much discomfort, you are willing to allow it to endure. Stefanie Schwartz, DVM, sums up the issue in one vital question in her book,Canine and Feline Behavior Problems: “Which choice will bring you the least cause for regret after the pet is gone?” Unfortunately, “no regret” is often not an option.

from “Euthanasia: The Most Painful Decision,” by Moira Anderson Allen, M.Ed.

Marianne