Bubs the boxer - Sweet Bubbles has passed

[Aunt Jana]

Thank you Kathy.

Bubbles is my everything. My loyal, loving sweetie. I don't know how I will deal when we have to say goodbye. I'm having trouble already.

[Joan2517]

It s so very hard....

[Budsters Mom]

Buddy was my EVERYTHING too! We will be here to help you DEAL when the time comes, for as long as you want/need us. The members here were my lifeline to sanity when I had no one else. They helped me to save myself. That meant 24/7 for a very long time. I will always be eternally grateful. That's why I am still here. Once family, always family.

[Harley PoMMom]

I am sorry your sweet girl is going through this :( On the forum we have seen that the post cortisol level needs to come down to at least 5 ug/dl and stay there to get control of that CC.

Since the 5 mg of Vetoryl doesn't seem to be curbing her drinking than she probably does need a higher dose, however I would not raise her Vetoryl dose until you know exactly where her cortisol level is and that would mean that an ACTH stimulation test is needed.

Hugs, Lori

[Renee]

I fear you are between a rock and a hard place, having to determine which negative symptom trumps the others.

CC most certainly can become a quality of life issue. Believe me. I have stared it down myself, wondering how far I would let it go before it became too much. The difference is that I was able to aggressively attack the CC by steadily increasing that vetoryl until I was able to get the pre and post cortisol below 5.0 ug/dl and keep it there long term.

I know Bubbles has her sensitivity to vetoryl though, and the side affects of the drug itself does cause you quite a bit of distress. Can you bear to see her with those side affects in order to try and control the CC?

Maybe this has been asked before -- why is lysodren not an option?

When was your last ACTH? Maybe you could try increasing her to 5mg twice per day? This is where my Tobey is at right now. 10mg once per day suppressed her a bit too much, but splitting the dose into 5mg twice per day seems to be doing what she needs. I'll be the first to admit though, she does not have any side affects the way Bubbles does.

Finding out where Bubble's cortisol stands right now may help you make some decisions as well. It does get worse before getting better; much worse. But you won't know if you are on the path to getting better without know where her cortisol is.

[Aunt Jana]

Hi, thanks for the replies and the support, I really appreciate it, very much. I am very depressed about it. Presently in a flare from the stress.

Today, out if the blue, her left eye swelled up, just appeared. She is always with one of us. ......I don't understand. She does have the CC at her temples and she had been rubbing her face, I try to gently massage her face around her nose and mouth with a washcloth to help her out, i think it's itchy, however, I don't know what this could be. I emailed a pic to the vet and they filled her a script, an antibiotic ointment. They told me to give her 4 Benadryl every 4-6 hrs but I just couldn't, I gave her two, 4 seems too much!

I know, you are right about the cortisol level. This morning I was thinking and I didn't talk/ask the vet, I just did it--gave her another 5mg with her dinner. By what I have read on here, it seems to work 2x daily. The CC seems to be drying up VERY slowly, however, the drinking and peeing had not changed. She seemed to tolerate the additional 5mg tonight too.

My mind is turning to mush.

[Squirt's Mom]

This morning I was thinking and I didn't talk/ask the vet, I just did it--gave her another 5mg with her dinner.

Oh! please do NOT increase the dose of Vetoryl without your vet's knowledge and recommendation! :eek::eek::eek: This is a very powerful drug and a teeny increase can have HUGE effects in some dogs. We simply cannot play around with the dosage on our own - to do so puts our babies at increased risk of problems, like an overdose. So call your vet ASAP this morning and make an appt to have your sweet baby seen and the cortisol level tested. THEN if the vet says so, increase according to their directions only. And do not continue giving this extra 5mg.

Hugs,
Leslie and the gang

[Aunt Jana]

Ok.......
Thanks
It's just that I don't have a spare $200 for the test. The 5mg is not working so I thought the next move would be to increase, however, that's the highest I would give her--10mg. I know it's very powerful--NOW. Too bad I didn't know what I know now or knew about this forum while I was poisoining her with 60 mg daily --- growing that tumor......for three + months.

[Joan2517]

Yes, knowing what we know NOW is so hard to not feel guilty about. I too wish that I had found this site sooner...but we are here now and have everyone behind us.

My precious Lena is gone, but I'm still learning in case, God forbid, I have to go through Cushing's again. And having the support of everyone here is a huge comfort for me.

[Aunt Jana]

I need opinions, please....
do you think the swollen eye is related to the Cushing's? high blood pressure? the tumor? I'm starting to freak out, I did put a call in to the doctor and ask if we should have the ACTH test but now I'm really worried.

[labblab]

Normally I'm one of the first to push for an ACTH if a dog is not doing well, but in Bubbles' case, I really doubt that low cortisol is an issue. In looking back through your thread, I see that Bub's post-ACTH result at the end of April was 4.9 ug/dL, after having been taking 60 mg. of trilostane for 3-4 months. You subsequently stopped the 60 mg. based upon Bubbles' outward behavior that was troubling you (tremoring, lethargy, etc.), and briefly tried 20 mg. but then discontinued that, as well.

Based on Bubs' history, you may well be correct that she is overly sensitive to trilostane in terms of it triggering onwanted behavioral effects. But I truly doubt that these effects are the result of her cortisol having been driven too low, and if she were my dog, I would not press for a repeat ACTH at this time, nor would I worry about the effect of having given her the extra 5 mg. capsule in the evening. My bet is that from the standpoint of cortisol level, she would need even more than 10 mg. daily in order to bring her cortisol into therapeutic range. But the trade-offs are the behavioral side effects that are very troubling to you. So that is the double-bind. But if it were me, I don't see a problem with continuing with the 10 mg. for the time being, and I would save the money that you would be spending on an ACTH today

I'm afraid I really don't know what is causing the eye to bulge, but Bub's probably does need to have that evaluated immediatly in order to not run the risk of compromising her eyesight. So I would spend the money on any diagnostic testing that might be required re: her eye. I am so, so sorry that things continue to worsen for your precious girl.

Marianne

[DoxieMama]

I'm inclined to agree with Marianne that low cortisol is likely not an issue now. But I would definitely talk to the vet about that increase to 10mg, if only to make sure they're aware of the dosage. You can discuss your concerns - and theirs if they have them - and treat Bubs together. (I wouldn't want them thinking she is only taking half the dosage she is actually taking.)

Hugs,
Shana

[labblab]

I definitely agree with Shana that your vet needs to know about the dosage increase, and I thank her very much for pointing that out!

Marianne

[Budsters Mom]

It is possible for the eye to swell if the tumor is large enough.:o If indeed Bubs does have a macro tumor, then it will continue to grow/expand and could encroach on the area around her eye. It does need to be checked out ASAP.

Her sensitivity to Trilostane is a bugger, but increasing the dose by 5 mg on a dog Bub's size, probably wasn't enough to do much of anything. I know you are desperate and grasping for straws, because I have been there. However, please do not increase her dose any further without contacting your vet. Also, please let your vet know that you made the increase. Ok?

I am not trying to scare you, although I realize this is all terrifying!:eek:

Hang in there. Sometimes riding the wave is all we can do.;)

[Aunt Jana]

Hi everyone-

I did not give her any extra dose today, just the 5mg at breakfast. I talked to the vet, the swelling is in the cheek area now and she is not chewing on that side. I am taking her in tomorrow morning for him to see her and get an ACTH test ($235). I would rather not do the test......should I just mention I don't want the test? That I want to bump her up to 10mg? Reading about the tumor, that it could be causing the swelling--is HORRIBLE to imagine. I will just die.

I appreciate all your valuable information and kindness. Thank you.

Janet

[DoxieMama]

Hi Janet,

I would suggest you just be honest with them. They can't force you to have a test done... Bubs is your dog and it's your money. It is no different than with doctors for people. You are the customer/client/patient/advocate. They work for you, and cannot make you do anything you do not want. They may try to convince you - and they may be successful - but they cannot MAKE you.

Though I have been reading, I must admit I don't remember... is it possible Bubs has a bad tooth/abscess that's causing the swelling? Rather than a tumor?

I feel for you, and for Bubs. My cat Tia had a brain tumor and it was so hard not being able to do anything to help her.

You know Bubs best. As said before. She is YOUR dog. You are doing the absolute best for her that you can, and it sucks when that doesn't help. We get it. We're here, and will do the best WE can to help support YOU... while YOU care for HER.

Hang in there.
Shana

[Renee]

If you aren't going to consider a significant increase in her vetoryl, then I must agree with Marianne that the ACTH is unnecessary at this point. I surely didn't mean you imply that you should get one done no matter what -- you'll just want to do one if you plan to start increasing the vetoryl enough to control the CC.

About her eye / cheek, this sounds a lot more like an abscess and bad tooth. Maybe at the vet visit, they can look in her mouth instead of the ACTH.

[Budsters Mom]

While it is true that the vet cannot force you to have any tests done that you don't want, they can (and probably will) refuse to alter Bub's Vetoryl RX without an ACTH test done to measure her cortisol level first. You are free to double her dose to 10mg. (5mg- 2xday). They can not stop you as long as you have pills left. However, you could have difficulty getting another RX from them, when Bub's pills run out twice as quickly. Yes, ACTH Tests are VERY expensive. Over $350, where I live and that's more than three years ago. Your vet is only following proper protocol when requiring an ACTH before any adjustments are made. Since Vetoryl is such a powerful drug, testing insures that is is dosed as safely as possible.

Personally, I would NEVER up a dosage without an ACTH test first. If money was an issue, I would keep the dosage as is. It is much safer that way.

[Aunt Jana]

Thanks everyone, your advice is so helpful, I will just say I want to hold off on the test if possible; going to 10mg isn't a huge jump and maybe it will help the thirst--I will ask about that.
My husband thinks maybe a tooth too, she was chewing on ice days ago-it may have done something.

Goodnight and thanks

[Budsters Mom]

The decision is yours. They can make a suggestion/recommendation, but the ultimate decision is yours.;)


I want to hold off on the test if possible

[Aunt Jana]

Back home from vet, he wasn't interested in ACTH tests or blood work. It's ok with him to increase to 10mg. He gave me the distinct impression he thinks her time is coming. He feels the eye swelling is from Bubbles scratching, he feels that her immune system is breaking down. He did check her vitals, all good and put some drops in her eye--no scratches.

I think she was bit by something.

This is very difficult I don't want to go there, I feel there is no one that is versed in Cushings, that there is no one out there. I know she is ill. She still eats, wags her tail, gives kisses...... but she is tired of all of this too.

I'm going to give her the 2 nd 5mg with dinner, I guess.

[Joan2517]

Janet,

I feel so bad for you. I know you feel alone and depressed. Not every vet is well versed in this disease. Mine thought he was, but I think he thought he knew more than he actually does. Someday I will let him know my feelings about that.

Please try to enjoy the time with Bubbles...I'm sure she can feel your distress. I know Lena did, and I wish I hadn't spent the time we had left watching her every move and freaking out over everything. I thought we would have more time, but we only had two months after her beginning treatment.

She was my everything too, and it still hurts, but I am beginning to have some days where I can smile when I think of her and the things we did together, instead of crying and blaming everyone, including myself.

Bubs sounds like a lovely girl, and I know you love her to pieces. That's what she needs from you now, your love, and your strength and if she seems happy to you, then she is because she knows you love her.

[DoxieMama]

Janet,

I'm just going to echo what Joan said... you can re-read her message to you. I know it's hard. Be strong with you are with her, shower her with love and attention. Have your meltdowns when you are not with her, in the car, shower, whatever.

Many hugs and supportive thoughts sent your way.
Shana

[Aunt Jana]

Dear Joan and Shana --
Thank you, I do appreciate your support, you all help me so much, I'm trying not to cry in front of her

[Aunt Jana]

I want to share something, how sweet and loyal she is. In November, I had severe IBS symtoms, I had eaten too many pumpkin seeds I roasted (I love them), well I was so sick, never had such severe pain. I was in the bathroom contemplating going to the hospital --that's how bad it was. I was moaning....My Bubbles, she wouldn't leave the door (I didn't know) until i heard her crying for me! My husband couldn't get her to leave the room. I tried to compose myself because she was so upset..... She is such a loyal, sweet girl. Would never hurt a soul.

[Joan2517]

How sweet! So she does know when you are upset. Lena did too. She would bark and jump up and down at my feet until I would pick her up and let her kiss me. The sicker she got, the more she wouldn't make eye contact with me. I don't know if it was because she could see the fear in my eyes, or if she didn't want me to see the confusion in hers. Either way, it was because she knew me so well.

That last night driving to the ER, she just stared at me while I was driving...I think she knew, and how I wish I had picked up on that instead of being frozen in fear. If I had known that that would be our last few hours together I never would have gone home...I would have stayed there with her. I will always regret that.

[labblab]

My heart reaches out to you, too, Janet. I may be repeating myself :o, but my husband and I had to release our beloved nonCushpup Lab girl in June and so the pain of that time and that decision is still very fresh in my mind and my own heart. Also, next week will mark the 12th anniversary of our release of our Cushpup, Barkis. And even though 12 years have passed, in some ways it also feels like only yesterday. We will miss him forever.

I've written about Barkis here, and the fact that we also suspected that he suffered from an enlarging macrotumor. But we did not have it proven with imaging, and so it is only a guess. And the most important thing is that, no matter what it was that had gone wrong, I don't believe it was within the power of any human hand to truly heal him. We might have been able to buy a bit more time, but he was never going to be a truly happy, healthy dog ever again. We were very lucky and we were able to consult with a specialist who was well-versed in Cushing's. Still, without the imaging, even with all his experience he did not know for certain and the time came when we all ran out of options that we felt were reasonable to use to help our boy.

The reason why I'm telling you this is in the hope that you won't beat yourself up over decisions you or your vets have made. You all have done the very best you could with the knowledge you had at each step along the way. I know you still feel horribly guilty about the 60 mg. of trilostane, but truly, the medication may or may not have any significant effect on an already enlarging macrotumor. Even if so, there was no way to know that at the time, and you were following an accepted treatment pathway. And who knows, if you hadn't been giving that dose of trilostane, Bub's CC may have erupted even earlier and made her feel miserable for a longer time.

As hard as this time is for you, I beg you not to make it even harder by blaming yourself for things that are entirely outside of your ability to control of fix. I know it sounds dopey, but I have to repeat what the others have already said. The one thing -- the most important thing -- that truly is in your control is your love for Bubbles. Nobody can stop that or change that. That is what is ripping your heart apart right now, but it is also the most precious gift that you can give her. Sadly, I have to agree that things do not sound good for her medically right now. But that is not your fault. Never has been and never will be. But you can tell her 1000 times a day that you love her and what a good girl she is. Through your tears, that is within your power to do. And we will stay right here by your side to help you through each day, yourself. I know it is awfully hard, Janet, but you've got us all here to help you.

Marianne

[Aunt Jana]

Thank you ladies.

Joan--Please don't beat yourself up, I hope I'm not causing you to relive your sad time with Lena. You know she loved you so and she knew you loved her so very much!!

Marianne --I'm so sorry for your loss, I didn't know. My heart goes out to you and yet, you are taking the time with me-- all your wisdom on this hideous disease, thank you.

I want to take Bubbles to the holistic dr. It is about an hour away, however, they treat differently -Chinese techniques, holistic meds, etc. Do you all think I'm wasting my time and being unrealistic? I feel like I have to do this. I am going to ask outright after I fax all the papers with her history and present condition if it is possible the Dr can help Bubs.

What do you think?

[Joan2517]

You're not, Janet...I live with it every day.

If you are going to go holistic, you should check to see if any of the herbs will interact adversely with the Vetoryl if you are going to continue giving that to Bubs...you should do whatever you feel comfortable doing...

[Aunt Jana]

Thank you Joan. After I sent that last note, I re-read it and I don't even know if it's right to do......or it is it time to let go. I don't know. Not sure what we will do.

[Budsters Mom]

With regard to additional testing and treatment toward the end of my Buddy's illness, there is ALWAYS something they can try that may cost you thousands of $$$$. Buddy has a world renown neurosurgeon and team of neurologists overseeing his case through his regular vet. The neurosurgeon and her team did the original consult which was a two hour comprehensive appointment. They were as sure as they could possibly be that he had an enlarging macro-tumor. An MRI to verify 100% would have cost more than $3500. I wasn't planning on subjecting him to radiation to shrink the tumor and he wasn't a candidate for surgery. A sixth month trial for a new drug was just about to start, in which he would have qualified. It was taking place in Los Angeles. Buddy would have to remain there for the entire time, meaning relocating to LA. It wasn't feasible for us. So, spending the $$$ just to know for sure, didn't make sense to me. It wouldn't stop the tumor from growing, nor buy him any more time. At that point, I had to refocus my attention on making him as comfortable as possible, for as long as possible. I had to really think about who I was pushing so hard for. Was it him, who just wanted my love and attention, or was it for me because I could not accept what he already knew. Letting him go when every fiber of my being was screaming NO!!!!!!, was devastating, but it was the right thing for him. I needed to set him free. He had lost his spark and needed me to help him move on.

If you feel the need to get a holistic consultation, then by all means do it. Would you be doing it for Bubbles or yourself? You are with her. You know her better than anyone. Does she want you to keep pushing so hard, or does she just want you?

Kathy

[Aunt Jana]

Kathy,

I know you're right.

My sadness is overwhelming.

I'm sorry for you too.

Bubbles has lost her spark too.

But!!!! I want to add, I don't know if the holistic doctor can help her feel better or not. There are plenty of cushpups on this forum who do ok with this disease, right? Why can't we find a happy place where my Bubbles feels better? Is it too late for her? How do I know unless I try, NO ONE so far whom I have dealt with except with the administrators on this forum have any knowledge about this disease and my dog.......just to dispense Veteroyl at too high a dose! So, I don't know. What if this Dr is well versed with this stinking disease?........I don't know. Kathy may very well be right.

Thanks for listening(reading)

[labblab]

Janet, if it will bring you peace of mind to consult with the holistic vet, then you can certainly give it a try. Perhaps the vet will know about some ointments or rinses that will make her skin more comfortable. However, I do not believe you will find a holistic treatment that will effectively lower Bubs' cortisol and control the spread of her CC, and in my opinion, that may end up being the quality of life issue that determines her fate. Sadly, in my experience on the forum, uncontrolled CC more often than not results in a decision to euthanize. That is the single result of Cushing's that seems to be the hardest to overcome if cortisol is not lowered sufficiently.

I know I am sounding like a broken record here, but the 60 mg. of Vetoryl was actually the appropriate dose for Bubs -- not too high a dose -- based solely on her test results. A post-ACTH of 4.8 was really desirable in terms of controlling CC. But the unfortunate piece is that, behaviorally, Bubs did not feel well on that dose. It's this combination of factors that makes Bubbles somewhat unusual here: apparently she cannot tolerate the Vetoryl dose that she really needs to heal her skin. Once you throw in the additional possibility of an expanding macrotumor, you are in a very rough and challenging place that is different from the majority of dogs here. :(

The only other thought I can offer out is one that Renee mentioned earlier, and that might be to try a drug other than trilostane to lower Bubs' cortisol. Aside from the Anipryl, the only two other drugs would be Lysodren or ketoconazole. But given the fact that, overall, Bubs is generally unwell, I just don't know that I'd want to try either of those powerful drugs, either, given the risk of side effects that they could also produce.

My honest opinion is that I do think you are being unrealistic if you are hoping that the holistic vet can reverse Bubs' CC. Unless her cortisol is lowered, I don't believe this will be possible. But if your goal is to try to make her skin condition less uncomfortable, perhaps the holistic vet can help with that, at least temporarily.

Marianne

[Joan2517]

Dear Janet,

We all want to try everything possible for our babies. Lena's last night at the ER the doctor told me she would need to see a cardiologist to try to find out why she was having breathing problems.

There weren't any on Long Island and I would have had to take her into NYC to the Animal Medical Center. Without traffic, that would have been at least an hour; with traffic it could have been up to three. I knew she would never make it and would probably die in the car on the Long Island Expressway. Even though I knew it was totally impossible that she would make it there alive, I still considered it.

I went home thinking I would check with my vet in the morning to see if he had one who would come to him. If not, my last thought was I would have him come to the house and put her to sleep.

She took the decision out of my hands, probably because she knew I would not be able to do it and I would have kept trying...and she was right, I would have...and it would have been the worst thing for my poor, tired little girl, who I loved so, so much.

It's 24 weeks today and I am still thinking of what else I might have done, even though there was nothing else to do.

You are the only one who can decide what is best for Bubbles and you will second guess your decision whatever it is. Marianne is right and if it will give you some peace of mind, then it can't hurt to try the holistic approach to try to make Bubbles more comfortable.

This is so hard, I know...we get to the point where we start to panic and want to try everything and anything, but it doesn't always mean it's the right thing.

[Budsters Mom]

Yes, with Buddy, I felt exactly the same way you do. I felt cheated/robbed! I still feel that way sometimes.:o Another member joined about the same time as I did. Her lovely little girl is still going strong, the last I heard. Although I am thrilled for them and the others, it also makes me feel very sad. Why couldn't my precious boy be helped too? Why did it have to be too late for him? Doesn't anyone understand? I wanted the vets to fix him. They were the best there is. They should be able to do it. I prayed, begged and even made promises I would never be able to keep. None of it helped!! Some of us just end up pulling the short straw and have to live with that. It SUCKS!!! Wishing it were different doesn't change anything. I so wish it did.:o

It was already too late for Buddy when I joined the forum. However, it wasn't and isn't too late for me. Our family members will be here to support you, in anyway we can.



There are plenty of cushpups on this forum who do ok with this disease, right? Why can't we find a happy place where my Bubbles feels better?

[mommyslittlegirl]

Dear Janet, I feel your pain and frustration. I am very sorry for you and your sweet Bubs. Try the holistic vet if you want to. Have you ever thought about acupuncture? If you do, please make sure they are certified.

[Aunt Jana]

Thanks everybody, I'm very grateful. For all of you. When I come on here I just cry.

The holistic Dr. sounds promising, plus Bubbles CC IS drying up. I just don't know if it's all for not. My husband thinks she is fine, my daughter thinks it is not her time ....I am the one with her every day though and I don't know, she has lost her spark though---I can't get that out of my head. I also can't stop thinking how it will be without her.

[flynnandian]

as long as bubbles cortisol levels remain high, the cc will never heal.
i have had 2 dogs with cushing's . one of them couldn't tolerate the vetoryl because of arthritis in his front legs. he needed the high cortisol levels to mask the arthritis. but -like with your bubbles- that meant the disease progressed without the proper medication and made his life miserable, so i had to let him go at age 10.
my other cushing's dog was almost 13 when he was diagnosed with cushing's and died at age 14,5. only being sick for the last 3 days of his life. he didn't get better, so i had to let him go too.
i think you are grasping at straws, very understandable, we all do when our dogs are very ill. but unconditional love means saying goodbye to them in time when they are not enjoying life anymore.
i had to do it twice with both my cushing's dogs and it is very hard to make the decision; enough is enough, but their well being came first.

[Whiskey's Mom]

Dear Janet, just catching up on your thread. :( please know that Bubs, you and your family are always in my thoughts and prayers. Hoping Bubs will feel better soon since her CC is drying up and that the holistic vet can give you something to help with that.
Annie

[Aunt Jana]

Hi everybody :)

I haven't been on for a few days, busy tending to her. It is daunting at times but she is worth it. We had a wedding over the weekend and my daughter came to watch Bubbles-- well she really perked up! I'm beginning to think it's a combination of things--- me being upset constantly and her knowing it, her not being able to do what she used to do, she was very active-- she ran like the wind! Loved to go for walks, lover laying in the sun, hanging out and following my husband in the yard, just being with me all day is not very exciting because healthwise-- I'm no longer as active as I used to be and now she's limited AND SHE KNOWS this.
Spending time with my daughter-- she had a great time, so I made a decision not to be upset in front of her AT ALL and she's doing good!! Her CC is continuing drying up, she is now on 5 milligrams twice a day but it's not helping the thirst, I'm not sure what to do there. I'm hoping the holistic vet may have an answer.


No one else in my family thinks it's anywhere near the time, they think I'm crazy! So I'm going with the flow. When I come on the site and read everybody stories I get so upset, my heart aches for all of the sweet pets that are sick with this horrible disease.... so I'm just going to check in every once in awhile. I appreciate everybody's support SO MUCH. You all have guided and educated me so much. Today's is her birthday!! Bubbles is eight!

[DoxieMama]

Happy Birthday Bubbles!!!

[Joan2517]

Awww, Happy Birthday, Bubbles!

[Renee]

Happy Birthday Bubbles!

I am so happy you've made a conscious decision to change your attitude for Bubbles sake. Dogs really do live in the moment. Every day is a new day to them. It's a hard lesson for some of us humans to learn, but it's one of the things dogs can teach us.

[judymaggie]

Happy 8th Birthday, Bubbles!

[Whiskey's Mom]

happy birthday sweet bubbles!!

[Aunt Jana]

Thank you everyone! I truly appreciate all your sentiments! My daughter is coming over for dinner and we're going to celebrate the Bubster's birthday in style.
:)

[Harley PoMMom]

Happy Birthday, Bubbles!!!!

[Squirt's Mom]

HAPPY 8th BIRTHDAY, BUBBLES!

[labblab]

Me too, me too!!!!!!!!! :) :) :) :) :) :)

Happy Birthday, sweet girl! :D

Marianne

[Aunt Jana]

Thanks everyone. My daughter brought her some pet ice cream..... she loved it. I'll try to put the pic in the album :)

[Allison]

Belated happy birthday to Bubbles! Ice-cream sounds like a perfect way to celebrate.

[molly muffin]

Belated Happy Birthday from me too Bubs. :)

I am sure that if we are always stressed around our furbabies then they pick up on that and in turn they too become stressed. So I'm glad you are trying to be positive around Bubs. :)

[Aunt Jana]

Hi everyone:

Thank you so much for Bubbles bday wishes. :) You're all so kind.

She is doing ok. Nothing really new. The 5mg Vetoryl twice a day isn't helping with the drinking.....I don't know. Her CC is drying up and she has fur coming in, alot of it. She is very itchy!! I give her Benadryl and she gets very sleepy :( She is getting a bath later this week.

I do think the supplements I give her are adding to the CC (hopefully) healing. I also give her Colloidal Silver and spray her fur with it. She is done with the Keflex, so I started back up the Minocycline. (Can't hurt) it's been so hot, we are both kooped up in the house. Last week I had errands to do which was all in the car, so she enjoyed going with me. For the most part she is not seeing me get emotional--maybe 90%... I have slipped up. .......

The holistic Dr appt is on the 23 rd.

How you all are doing well and staying cool.

Janet

[Joan2517]

Glad to hear it, Janet...they do pick up on our distress. She just enjoys being with you, there's nothing that makes our babies happier!

[Aunt Jana]

Hello everyone--I haven't been on since August and I've been dreading this but you were all always so helpful, I knew I had to come back on.

So, August we took her to the holistic vet he changed her diet and wanted to see her in six weeks, he was hopeful and was saddened by her condition, couldn't believe how young she was and so sick with that horrific disease....for the rest of August and September we pretty much did our same routine, it was so hot and my girl was a real trooper . She had good days and she had bad days but I couldn't even give her the 5 mg Vetoryl twice a day, it made her too sick so we gave her the 5 mg once a day I don't think that It made any difference....... I'm gonna go to September 29, she was having her waffle, our twice daily routine with her pills inside..... and she stopped suddenly and I said do you have to pee Bub's? come on, let's go ......we went outside she started to pee, all of a sudden she fell over, she must've had a heart attack or a blood clot, it was very sudden and devastating. It was horrible, I was screaming and crying, alone with my beloved friend. So very sad, happened at 10 AM. Now, every day since I relive it all over......I miss her so, I love her so.

You'll were such great friends and so supportive on this site I wanted to let everyone know. I love my Bubbles so, so much, I'm having such a hard time every day. I want to feel better, I know she's better, I know she's whole again. I do but it hurts my heart. She was my best friend.

Janet

[Joan2517]

Oh, Janet....I am so, so sorry. I've been thinking of you for the past few days and wondering how Bubbles was doing. I know you are devastated. She went quickly, I hope that makes it a little easier for you...you didn't have to make that decision for her. You were a wonderful mom to her and took care of her to the end. She knows that you loved her...my heart hurts for you.

Joan

[labblab]

Janet, I am so very sorry, too!! Thank you so much, though, for coming back to tell us what has happened. It can't have been easy for you to write that reply, but it means a great deal to us that you're allowing us to join you in honoring Bubbles -- and also to support you in the midst of your sadness.

We hope it may give you a small bit of comfort to know that Bubbles has now been added to our special memorial thread of honor:

http://www.k9cushings.com/forum/showthread.php?p=183303#post183303

I'll be contacting you very soon in order to see whether you'd also like for us to add a photo link to Bubs' memorial line. It would be our privilege to do so.

In the meantime, please know that you are always welcome to return to us, to share special stories of your lives together, and to tell us how you are doing. I am sending many hugs to you, always in loving memory of your precious girl.

Marianne

[Aunt Jana]

Thank you Joan. I appreciate your kind words. This is not an easy journey. We were very close, my husband and I and Bubbles. She was our everything. I know I'm not the only person who lost their best friend, however, I feel so alone and isolated.....empty.

[Aunt Jana]

Thank you Marianne, I appreciate it.

[Joan2517]

I still feel that way about Lena, Janet...I wish I could tell you it will get easier, sometimes it just doesn't.

[apollo6]

I am so sorry for the lose of your beautiful Bubble. I am crying reading about your lose. There are no words I can say to make it better. Bubble will always be in your heart and soul. We have theses angels on loan. There is never enough time to be with them. They make us better humans. My baby had th same skin infection. This disease breaks down the immune system. Sending you love, support.
Sonja and Apollo

[Squirt's Mom]

Dear Janet,

I am just so heartbroken to hear about Bubbles. That was just horrible, I am sure. :( She had the best mom and dad who loved her dearly and she knew that every day of her life. I can imagine how difficult it was to come back here and talk to us about what happened but I am so glad you did. Know we are here anytime you need to talk, cry, whatever.

Our deepest sympathies,
Leslie, Trinket, Sophie, Fox, and all our angels


An Inseparable Pair
Anonymous

I miss you so much, my four-legged friend
I ask myself each day, if the pain will ever end
Your loss is so hard, for one person to bear
Because we were a team, an inseparable pair

You were by my side, when I got up each day
Waiting so patiently, to go out to play
You were there each night, when I got home
Waiting to go to the park, where you could roam

You always knew, if I was having a bad day
So you'd snuggle up close, and try to get me to play
If that didn't work, you'd put your head in my lap
Then make yourself comfortable, and take a nap

One way or another, you would brighten my day
Like only you could, you had a special way
You gave me a lifetime of memories to hold
Through all the years ahead, till I am gray and old

I promise I'll see you, again one day
When we'll be together again, to go run and play
Your loss is a cross I will just have to bear
Because you and I know, we were an inseparable pair

[Harley PoMMom]

Oh Janet, I am so sorry for your loss of beloved Bubbles and my heart breaks with yours. Please know that we are here for you and always will be, sending comforting and loving hugs.

With Heartfelt Sympathy,
Lori

[judymaggie]

Janet -- I am so very sorry for your loss of beautiful Bubbles. You and your husband were great pet parents and did your very best to provide her with the best care.

[DoxieMama]

Janet, I am so so sorry to hear about Bubbles. Thank you for returning to share with us and as others have said, please know that we remain here if you need somewhere safe to share your heart.

Much love,
Shana

[Whiskey's Mom]

I'm so very, very sorry too. I have thought about you often and wondered how Bubbles was doing.

[Aunt Jana]

Thank you all. I really appreciate the kind words.

My days are filled with sadness, everything I do here at home has a connection to her. I miss her, I can't believe she is gone. I can't believe I will never touch her, will not see her, pet her. I know I will one day be with her again when I die but it is little consolation. She was such a sweetheart. My girl, my bubba.

I just wish I could remove from my mind the agony of that morning.

I was alone, I could not lift my baby, I couldn't carry her in. I was screaming in My front yard for help. No one was near. I had to let her down, all alone to run in the house and get a phone, I didn't want to....I didn't know what to do. No one answered my calls. I just kept on screaming, crying for help. I was afraid I was scaring my sweetie, but she was gone. I just held her head in my arms......a friend two streets away heard me from her deck, she came, thank God. She carried my girl in the house, we wrapped my girl up in a blanket. My friend stayed with me and Bubbles until my husband came home. He had left for work around 9:30, he was so upset and to top everything off, he got a flat tire...had to change it all the while knowing his special girl just passed....it was horrible all around. I'm so grateful my friend stayed with me.

That was September 29.

On October 2, our grandson was born. I know, I, we are very happy and thrilled. At the same time my life companion is gone, my routine is ever changed. I only had her for eight years but she was our everything.

She is all better, skin and fur beautiful again and she is running and wiggling again. I have to believe this. Now just to feel it.........

[molly muffin]

Janet, I was very very sorry to hear about Bubbles. I know that this is what you had been dreading and then to have it occur the way it did, well, just devastating.

I can tell you that having a grandson around helps and spending that time with the baby. It doesn't make the loss any less, but it does take up a lot of time that you'd be thinking and grieving. I find the silence of the house was the most horrible. Now that the kids are here and the cats and baby, I don't have that silence in my face so much. I know I will when they move to their new house and it will start all over again, but for now I am happy to have them here.
My husband too was devastated by the loss of our molly. I'd never seen him like that.

I can't even begin to imagine how bad it was to have Bubbles go like that and for you to be alone and able to do nothing.
The main thing to hold on to is that right up till that very last moment, she knew she had you and that she was loved. I do know how much you loved her. It showed in every post you made on here.
I am sincerely sorry. RIP Bubbles. Gone but never forgotten

[Aunt Jana]

Thank you so much Sharlene, I do appreciate the kindness you and so many have shown to me and my girl. Bubbles led me to many kind people along the way.