Sachi - Forever in my heart.

[SachiMom]

Today it has been six months since Sachi left my side. She was such a sweet girl. How I miss her.
I am reposting her In Loving Memory post that I found I had saved on my computer.

It is with a shattered heart that I share with you the loss of my precious Sachi on December 1, 2008. I have been putting off posting here because it makes it real. I have been trying to find words that will do her justice, but my mind will only become jumbled and my heart so tight that I can’t imagine how it can continue beating. She will always be one of the sweetest dogs that ever walked the face of this earth and brought joy to many lives. She had so much to endure during her 11 years and 10 months and yet she only showered us with kisses every step of the way. She never once became angry at anyone through all her treatments, even when it was the dreaded toe nail clipping time. She would cry and struggle, but then turn around and give kisses, thanking us for making her more comfortable.

Sachi had a rough beginning, as she was not “desireable” because she was too large for a mini-doxie and had a severe under bite. Lucky for us, no one else wanted this lovable pup. She had allergy and thyroid problems then developed Cushings at the early age of 6 years. We tried using Anipryl for a few months, and with the gentle nudging and encouragement from the founders of this board, Sachi became one of the first pups here to be treated with Trilostane. She had a very rocky road with it, as it was fairly new in the U.S. and was a learning curve for all of us. She helped many other cush pups here and at the vets because of her experiences. Just as things were stabilizing for her, her back gave out and she became paralyzed. A wonderful Dr in Orange County performed a miracle and in time, Sachi was able to use her rear legs again fairly well. They always remained very weak, but she was able to get around. After her recovery, another miracle, she no longer tested positive for cushings. We even tested in November, and she was negative. In January of 2008 she became blind. Acute retinal degeneration, or something like that. There was no help or cure. Some days she got around pretty good. Other days, it would break my heart to find her stuck in a corner, not knowing where she was and unable to get out.

Mid November, Sachi stopped eating. At first she was just picky and we could entice her with treats and people food, then she would eat her kibble. Eventually we ran out of things to entice her and she stopped eating completely, then stopped drinking water. X-rays, ultrasounds, blood tests could not figure out the reasons. She spent a week in ICU with an IV, pain meds, antibiotics, anti-nausea, appetite stimulant – five shots in the morning, five shots in the evening. Then they thought if I took her home during the day she might eat. It didn’t work. We began force feeding her with the syringe. She hated it and fought with all her might and then collapsed and began shaking and trembling for hours. That is when I realized this was not a proper way of life for her. There were many other things going on with her, but when my little four-legged vacuum cleaner, who could find a charlee bear hidden under a chair, fought so hard not to eat, I knew the joy in her life was over and I was being very selfish. I pray everyday that I made the right decision.

She knows that I would have done anything in my power to make her better, but I could not find a miracle this time. She rewarded our decision by giving us a few kisses that afternoon, which she had not done for over two weeks. She is now home and is on the shelf above my computer with her own special angel, In Gods Care.

Godspeed Sachi. I miss your wet nose nuzzles so much.
~Mom

[acushdogsmom]

Thank you Mary Ann, for finding and re-posting your beautiful tribute to your precious and beautiful girl. :)

I've just lit a real-life candle in memory of Sachi. We travelled the Cushing's road together, you and I, and your Sachi will be forever in my heart too.

(((hugs)))

[frijole]

Hugs and warm thoughts from me and mine. Kim

[MiniSchnauzerMom]

Mary Ann,

I cried one more time reading your original tribute to Sachi and laughed one more time about her being able find a charlee bear hidden under a chair. Thank you.

Many hugs,
Louise

[BestBuddy]

Mary Ann,
I'm at a loss for words. Sachi will always have a piece of your heart but you will always have your memories. Thinking of you.
Jenny

[Truffa's Mom]

Mary Ann thank you for posting Sachi's courageous journey. She will remain forever in our hearts too.
Tons of healing choco kisses will be delivered to you.

[mytil]

Dearest Mary Ann,

I am very glad you have posted this again in tribute to sweet Sachi. I cried when I first read it and the tears are flowing as I read it again. Little Sachi was such a fighter and such a joy. She is very lucky to have you two and you two are very lucky to have her. It is funny to me that desirability and perfection are looked upon in different ways, in my eyes Sachi was perfect (even with an underbite).

I am sure she has found her way around the Bridge and has met up with all the cushpups including my Mytilda and Clancy.

Many (((((((hugs))))))) to you and your husband and I know Sachi is watching over you both.
Always in loving memory of sweetie pie Sachi.
Terry

[labblab]

They say that tears can cleanse the heart. If that is true, then our hearts must be squeaky clean after the tears that have been shed during these past six months... For Sachi, for little Gabby - for each and every sweet spirit that has been released. But my own heart is lightened when I picture Sachi bestowing sweet kisses on all the other little ones, for she knows how much her kisses are needed and welcomed when the moment of transition comes. And so now she patiently stands ready to share her kisses with all...:o :o :o

Mary Ann, I am so grateful that you have reposted your beautiful tribute. With so much that has been lost, each piece that is regained is a blessing. And now, we can once again join you in honoring your precious girl and all the gifts that she has always bestowed so sweetly and so joyfully.

With many (((hugs))), always in loving memory of your angel Sachi ~
Marianne

[Dollydog]

I'm glad too that you have re-posted this tribute. What a darling little girl to have had in your life.
Jo-Ann

[Squirt's Mom]

Dear Mary Ann,

Tears flowed the first time, and tears flowed today reading about your sweet Sachi. You managed to help provide so many miracles in her life and when the miracles ran out, you gave her the greatest gift of all. Sachi knew this, knew what that final gift would cost you, and she found a miracle to give you - a few last kisses to hold in your heart.

I am so glad that you kept a copy and shared this with us again.

Hugs,
Leslie and the girls

[forscooter]

Mary Ann,

I read your tribute to sweet Sachi earlier today and got so choked up, I just couldn't write right then...I still find myself at a loss. But, I will try...

I have always found you to be like some guardian angel out there watching over us...when things got really tough, there you'd be...and Sachi will such a huge part of who you are and our hearts here. When you lost her, I was just aching for you...and then my turn came, and even in your pain, there you were for me. You have always set a loving example for the rest of us here...and my heart aches for you bc I understand your pain.

I am so glad you posted Sachi's story here bc it is here she belongs...and will always be kept safe in the hearts of us all....as I know she is in your's.

Love and hugs, Beth, Bailey and always Scoobie

[Roxee's Dad]

Mary Ann,
I did not have the privilege of knowing Sachi or her story. Thank you for sharing such a heartwarming and a heartbreaking story. You were a very good mom and Sachi was in good loving home. I am so sorry for your loss.

[SachiMom]

Thanks to all for your words of comfort. I really do appreciate them. It is so good to be able to come here and know that I have friends that understand. Some try to make me feel foolish for not "just getting over it." Sometimes I feel I may never "get over it." Then I realize, I don't have to. I can come here anytime and know that she still has a part in K9C. It maybe hidden, but I know where to look.
(((((HUGS)))))) to all.
Forever my sweet girl.
~Mary Ann

[Buffaloe]

Hi Mary Ann,

Thank you for telling us more about your sweet Sachi. I'd like to hear more about your life with Sachi. She was a lucky girl that she had the under-bite and was a little big for a mini-doxie. I know she lived the life most every dog can only dream about.

Most people just have no clue about the love between people like us and our dogs. Sachi was everything good and right in this world and you will be with her again.

Ken

[Carol G]

All I can say is that I understand.

[gpgscott]

Thank you Carol,

Mary Ann, I understand also.

Thanks for finding and placing this post.

God Bless Sachi and us all.

Scott

[lucygoo]

I read your story and it made me cry. I'm so sorry. Your Sachi is beautiful, and I'm sure she's watching over you now.

[forscooter]

Mary Ann,

You got it exactly right! When I lost my brother, I once had someone tell me I had to "get over it". I told them quite clearly I will NEVER "get over it". I will never "get over" losing a part of my very soul....I feel the same with my mom and dad and of course, Scoobie and my Gretchen.

I told him he better "get over" the fact that I will never "get over" it. To get over it would deny, to me, the very existence in my heart that will always and forever continue to hold all the love I ever felt.

Get over what? Pure love? Never!

Love and hugs, Beth, Bailey and always Scoobie

[fivebichons]

Dear Mary Ann,

Thank you for finding that beautiful post. I know it had to be very difficult for you. I remember reading it long ago.

And you can never 'get over it' or 'let it go.' Everyone needs to take their time grieving. But, they are always a special part of your life. They will always be there. They aren't going anywhere.

As much as we may hurt, our passion will pick us up and carry us on.

God bless you and Sachi,
Heidi and the clan

[labblab]

Dear Mary Ann,

Many loving thoughts are being sent your way in honor of your sweet girl. Is it possible that a year has passed since Sachi joined our other little ones at the Bridge? In some ways, so much time. In other ways, the days have flown by. But I feel certain that not one day has passed that you have not sent your own loving thoughts to your angel. Mary Ann, many hugs to you today, and always...

In loving memory of your precious Sachi,
Marianne

[Squirt's Mom]

Dear Mary Ann,

Sending much love and many hugs your way. You and Sachi have given so much to all of us, and you both remain forever in our hearts. As always, you know we are here anytime.

In honor of your sweet Sachi,
Hugs,
Leslie and the girls

[sunimist]

Mary Ann, you and Sachi are forever in my heart. I pray often for you and think of you and Sachi most every day. I can't offer you a promise that it will get better cause I haven't got to that place yet, but I can offer you a heart full of love from one who loves you and Angel Sachi so very much.

Our love and many (((hugs))).

Shelba and Suni

[mytil]

Dearest Mary Ann,

I join the others who keep the candle burning for and honoring your sweetie pie Sachi. I know in your heart it seems like yesterday and my heart and healing prayers are being sent your way. We will always remember your girl.

(((((hugs)))))
Terry

[Franklin'sMum]

Mary Anne,

Thinking of you. Sachi will always be with you, both in spirit and in your heart.

Big ((Hugs))

Jane and Franklin
________
Kitchen Measures (http://kitchenmeasures.com/)

[SachiMom]

Eighteen months seems like a long time, yet in some ways a blink of the eye. I still catch myself looking down to make sure I don’t step on her. Since she couldn’t see us, we always had to be on the look out for her.

There hasn’t been a day that I don’t miss her. There are still times I think I should have waited for a miracle. But I can now see her loving eyes, sweet smile and wagging tail greeting each of her friends as they too approach the Bridge. She will give the biggest and bestest kisses.

Love lives on forever,
It will never fade away.
For in our hearts,
Our loved ones
Are with us everyday.

~Mary Ann

[sunimist]

((((HUGS)))) and love Mary Ann, from one who loves you dearly. You are in my thoughts and prayers always and Sweet Sachi will be in my heart always.


For you and Sachi.....

Angel in the Sky

There is a star in Heaven
and on it was a place,
reserved for you since birth
a place meant for your name.

This star watched you through the years
but it could not stand alone,
it rested high on angel wings
awaiting your trip home.

You slipped away, I held you close,
your soul flowed through my heart,
I felt your last breath through my tears
I felt your pain depart.

Tonight I looked up to the sky
and there for me to view
was one lone star shining bright
your name was shining too.

You were my angel on this earth,
you're my angel in the sky.
Wait for me, someday you'll see
our names shining side by side.


Love you always,

Shelba and Suni

[BestBuddy]

Love does live on forever.
Time eases the pain but the memories are so bitter sweet, they make you smile and then a sadness when you remember they are gone.

Jenny

[acushdogsmom]

Hey Mary Ann ... I think of you and your husband and Sachi almost every day. I look at Sachi's pictures often, and can hardly believe she's not there with you anymore.

I was planting some annual flowers in my garden yesterday - Osteospermum/South African Daisies - and I thought of Sachi, because I remembered a picture of her that you had posted on the old board where she was standing right next to the very same kind of flowers. And I smiled as I remembered your pretty girl standing next to those pretty flowers. :)

[mytil]

((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))) Mary Ann

Terry

[frijole]

Hugs from me as well. Big ones. Kim

[labblab]

And hugs from me, too...:o :o

With loving thoughts of your sweet Sachi, and with thanks to you, Mary Ann, for sharing your memories and your journey with us ~

Marianne

[Harley PoMMom]

Big hugs from me as well.

Love and hugs,
Lori

[bkdice]

Mary Ann

I don't think our hearts hurt less with time, but I do think we get better at dealing with the pain and loss. It sounds like Sachi was a very special pup indeed. May she always warm your heart.

Bettina & Angel Niko

[zoesmom]

Mary Ann - The sad anniversaries come and go and come and go and are always so painful. And then, after a few years, it dawns on you that it's one of those melancholy 'special' dates but that you are no longer crying but recalling the happier memories. Tears may still catch you, at any time, but after awhile, you realize that they are coming much less often. Right now, the tears still flow for Zoe, but when I think of my heartdog, KC, (19?? - 2000), I only have smiles.

Sachi was such a beacon for so many here. And I know her light will continue to shine on in your heart forever. Sue

[SachiMom]

Sweet Sachi. Another year. Without you. We miss you.
I still catch myself looking down to my feet before I move, so that I won't step on you! And whenever there are little scraps of chicken left over, I still think of saving them and adding them to your dinner. You so loved all the extras. Thanksgiving really reminded me of how I brought turkey to the hospital for you and the Doctor. You wouldn't eat it, but he enjoyed it!!
I do want you to know that most of your "things" have found new homes with some pups that have lost their homes and all their things. They will enjoy the blankets and beds, toys and sweaters, but there still are certain things that I cannot part with. I don't know if I am just keeping a part of you, or that I want to keep them for when we get a new pup, to share your goodness with her.
Sachi, you were so special. Such a gentle, sweet girl. My heart still aches, but we both know that you needed to be set free, where you can see and hear and run and play and eat to your hearts content without gaining an ounce!!
Holding you in my heart forever ~ Mom
P.S. Please watch over little Annie. She needs a special angel right now, and there is none better than you.

[mytil]

Dearest Mary Ann,

I will honor your sweetie pie along with you and I think of you both often. These anniversaries can still be very hard no matter how many years go by. I know she is watching over you.

Always in Loving Memory of one very sweet angel.
((((hugs))))
Terry

[labblab]

Dear Mary Ann,

I, too, join in remembering and honoring your sweetest girl. Dear little Sachi. Sending many, many hugs to you on this bittersweet day (and everyday!). I pray that your precious memories will outweigh your tears, and that Sachi's spirit will bring you comfort.

With love and my best wishes, always.
Marianne

[Squirt's Mom]

Many huge hugs to you, Mary Ann.

I hope you find as much joy as sorrow in your memories.

Hugs,
Leslie

[Harley PoMMom]

Sending hugs too.

In loving memory of sweet Sachi.

[lulusmom]

I'm sending huge hugs too, Mary Ann. Sachi is forever in all of our hearts. :)

XOXOXOX
Glynda

[gpgscott]

Dear Mary Ann,

I see them also.

Blessings to all of yours here and departed and to us all.

Scott

[frijole]

It's an honor to remember dear Sachi and I join the others in sending love up to the heavens as well as to you. Thanks for sharing your memories with us. Love, Kim

[Roxee's Dad]

More (((HUGS))) from me.... In memory of Sachi.

[Truffa's Mom]

In memory of Sachi, I am sending you lots of hugs and a big bouquet of pure love. I know sweet Sachi will be watching over you and Annie