Is it normal to feel so much pain? (idiopathic vestibular syndrome)

[Squirt's Mom]

Meg, the "pre-arrangements" Kathy talked about helped me a great deal when it was time for Squirt to Journey on. Everything had been taken care of months before. When "that day" came, all I had to do was survive. I did, and you will, too. No matter how far in the future "that day" is for you and Abby, you will survive. And we will be with you every second. Until then, enjoy your sweet girl as much as possible, make those memories like seeing the lights together.

Hugs,
Leslie and the gang

[doxiesrock912]

I worry too Meg.
You will be ok after it's Abby's time. You know that you have and continue to do all that you can for her. That is as close to unconditional love as we humans can come to and Abby knows it. That's what's important, for both of you.

I hope that this therapy helps you!

Making arrangements in advance is smart because it let's you do what you have to do when the time comes without wondering about the logistics. I wish that my mother's plans were made prior to her death. It made the whole process much MUCH more difficult and emotionally draining.

One thing I worry about that I haven't seen mentioned.
No matter what, your parents are set on bringing a puppy home soon.
PLEASE please love him or her as you have Abby. There is room enough in your heart for both and Abby might enjoy the little one being around too. I've heard many stories about the positive effects of introducing a puppy to older dogs.

This isn't ideal and you don't want it, but you just never know. It might all work out. Just show the love that you always have. Hugs

Please let us know how the therapy is working. My father lives with chronic pain and I know that it is no picnic.

We are here....always!

[Meg_Elizabeth]

Quick update: Abby went for a 15 min walk today and did not have any accidents. She let me wash her a little and her tail wagged happily. I feel deep down she knows her time left with me is short. She seems to want more love and affection than ever.

Kathy, Trish, Val, Leslie -- thank you for being there for me and Abby throughout it all. I appreciate every bit of advice and information you give me and can't tell you how helpful you've been. Especially the past few days. I've been a wreck. Everyone on here is incredible to me, and it's really all I have to keep me going.

I tried to talk to my parents today about the puppy. I'm not quite sure I'm ready but only time will tell. Right now I can't think of anything but Abby.

Lots of love -- Meg

[Squirt's Mom]

You're such a good mommy and I know Abby is eating up every bit of your attention with deep joy and satisfaction. Her love for you shines in her eyes in all her pics. I would imagine being with you is the most important thing in her whole world. Hang in there and keep doing what you know is right...and know you are not alone, ever.

Hugs,
Leslie and the gang

[Budsters Mom]

Hi Meg,

Thank you so much for coming back to update for us. You know I get crazy with worry when I don't hear from you.;) Thank you for understanding my insanity.:p

Your folks have made up their mind about the puppy for Christmas. So, no point stressing about that. ;) I have so much more that I am itching to say about this, but I have closed pinned my mouth shut.;):( You have tons of love in your heart. You will welcome that sweet little one when the time is right. I am not concerned at all about Abby being lost in the process because you and our sweet girl are joined at the hip.

I am thrilled to hear that Abby is still happily wagging her tail and enjoying her walks. Continue to smother that sweet girl with as much love and attention as she can possibly take. She probably senses that you need too. Your therapy and rehab is important. Don't forget to take care of yourself too.;)

Big hugs to both our girls,

[Meg_Elizabeth]

I'm trying to. Thank you guys. She just pooped all over the upstairs because while I was sleeping I guess they gave her breakfast scraps of bacon and sausage. They are both screaming at her. Merry Christmas indeed

[Budsters Mom]

I am so sorry Meg.:( You probably need to keep Abby with you EVERY moment that you're home, even when you sleep or in the bathroom. I'm think that Abby should stay downstairs on a tiled area for the duration, unless she's glued to your side. She seems to have a lot of poop accidents up there.:o Those accidents are so much easier to clean up that way.

Big hugs to both my girls,

[Budsters Mom]

There is always more than one side of every story. I would love to hear what your parents have to say about all of this. :o:(;)

[doxiesrock912]

Wow :-(

It's almost as if they're trying to sabatoge Abby's good days.
Greasy bacon isn't good for humans and certainly not dogs!!!!! Add sausage and no wonder Abby lost it.

Keep Abby away from them as much as you can.

I sure hope that they don't do this with the puppy!

I'm sorry but I feel like they are purposely doing things so that Abby gets into trouble.
Hugs

[Meg_Elizabeth]

At this point, I almost feel like they want her gone.

[Budsters Mom]

Hmmmm...... I wonder.....Since your parents are calling the shots, I think she would be gone by now if that's what they truly wanted. ;)

Try to focus on our sweet girl and keep her right by your side as much as possible. You're doing great!

Big hugs to both our girls,

[Squirt's Mom]

I do not understand your parents at all but I do think Kathy is right - if they truly wanted Abby gone they would rip her from your arms and perform the deed no matter what. So you just keep loving her and taking care of the both of you as best you can...and if possible stay as far away from your parents as you can, allowing very little interaction. Abby surely feels safe with you so that is where she wants to be.

[Meg_Elizabeth]

Thank you guys. Is Christmas time always this hard when a pup is dying?

[doxiesrock912]

Meg, to be honest. I don't feel that Abby's time is up from how you describe her. She's got old age issues for sure but how much is related to stress caused by your parents' behavior etc?

Animals are much more intuitive than we give them credit for and Abby definitely feels the negatively just as you do and more. Add that she feels your sadness too.

You are also under great stress and I wish that your parents would get over it and support you both.

I hope to not make you feel badly, that is not my intention. Many of us have expressed our displeasure and confusion. I just happen to be more forward :-)

I'm a very sensitive person and mistreatment of any kind REALLY gets to me.
Probably because my sister did some pretty horrible things while we were growing up and my parents didn't know how to handle her....so I was often told to let it go and move on.

Anyway, if you and Abby can spend as much time together away from your parents (another room at home even), I'd love to know the positive affect this would have on both you and Abby.

You might be surprised too. Stress and a lack of affects us more than we realize and that goes tenfold for animals.

Hugs always

[Squirt's Mom]

Yes, sweetheart, Christmas, New Years, Easter, Monday, Thursday, today, yesterday, tomorrow....they are are very hard to get thru when you know your baby's time is short. So we try to cherish every moment with them we can, making memories (hopefully positive ones) that we can look back on later, giving of ourselves to each other. So yes it is normal to feel this much pain at Christmas time when our babies are no longer young and healthy, their days numbered.

I knew last Christmas would be my last with Squirt. This is the first without her. Both are horrendous.

We are here with you, honey.
Hugs,
Leslie and the gang

[Budsters Mom]

Yes, holidays are difficult for me, even now. :o:(

[Meg_Elizabeth]

Thank you guys. At least we all have each other. Would you suggest a new puppy? I think it's too soon but then again who knows. Abby has good days, bad days, and horrendous days.

Val -- I don't take offense to anything people say on here. Ever. I post because I want to hear your feedback, I need your help and support of any kind. I feel so alone. My parents are such negative influences on Abby and I'm very aware of that. I just desperately wish there was something I could do.

[Squirt's Mom]

Until you are able to have a place of your own away from your parents, I wouldn't want another one.

[doxiesrock912]

Meg, thank you.
AS I said, I didn't say anything meaning to hurt you.

I've been through the fire and back with certain members of my family. I've been told that I have a unqiue ability to step back and bring a clarity to some situations.

Here's a question for your parents. If they can't handle Abby's accidents, how are they going to handle accidents from a puppy because there WILL be many until he/she's properly trained.

Please, please don't think that Abby has neared the end yet. So much can be caused by stress, really!

Somehow you need to shield Abby and yourself from your parents as much as you can. Set up places in the house where the two of you can hang out comfortably for hours. Literally.

I'm not sure what the weather is like where you live, but hanging out outside is an option too if it's warm enough. Go to a nice park with a few of Abby's toys, a blanket and a book. Just play and read when she's resting.

Hugs

[Budsters Mom]

I wouldn't bring a new puppy into that environment either, regardless of how much I needed one and was inconsolable. :o:( I didn't get Rosie until I was sure my folks were okay with it, even though I didn't need their permission. I didn't want their frustration to be taken out on a helpless little puppy and I couldn't be around all the time to protect it. :o

There is nothing you can do if your parents decide to go ahead and bring a puppy home. In that case, I know that you will welcome the new arrival with love. You have so much love in your heart to share.

Keep focusing on taking care of yourself and on our sweet Abby.

Big hugs to both our girls.

[doxiesrock912]

That's my worry too Kathy.

Meg, I worry that your parents are thinking of the puppy as a band aid that will fix your fears regarding Abby and that somehow getting one will convince you that it's Abby's time.

We all know that each one of our furbabies is unique and while we love all of them with all our being, each has special attributes that we hold close in our hearts. I don't think that your parents understand this.

Some people just don't understand or have the ability to connect with animals like we do here. They just don't get it and no amount of explaining will make them get it.

The other night, when Abby had the accidents and your parents were arguing. What were they arguing about? Knowing this might help me to understand their thinking.

Hugs

[Squirt's Mom]

Meg explained that a couple of pages back. ;)

[labblab]

Actually, like Val, I'm also hoping to understand a bit better what the argument actually involved. Meg, what you told us is that your parents were arguing about putting Abby down. But specifically what were they disagreeing about -- does one of your parents think it's time, but the other does not? Or is there something else about Abby's care that they disagree over?

Marianne

[Budsters Mom]

Refer to post #735.... That should help clarify. ;) Abby had just pooped (soft stool) upstairs again and Meg's parents were livid. Then when they were arguing about putting Abby down. I am not sure they are both on the same page about that.

Is that what's happening here Meg?

[labblab]

The only thing post #735 says about the argument itself is this:


I'm sitting in my room sobbing as my parents scream back and forth about putting Abby down.
That's why I'm asking for more details about the content of the argument, and the nature of the disagreement between Meg's parents.

[Budsters Mom]

Any further clarification regarding this matter will have to come directly from Meg, if she chooses to share with the group.;)i'm sure you understand.

[labblab]

Oh absolutely, Meg is the only person who would be capable of clarifying and only if she chooses to do so. I can't speak for Val, but the reason why I, too, directed my question to Meg in my reply above is because the answer would help give us some context re: her parents' plans for both Abby and also perhaps the new puppy. It's very hard to get a grasp on the nature of the dilemma when her parents hold such power and yet we know so little about their thinking. I'm just thinking we may be better able to help Meg brainstorm if we are armed with some additional insight in this regard.

[doxiesrock912]

Labblab,

exactly my thinking too.

Thank you

[Squirt's Mom]

My thinking was it was hard enough for her to post this the first time (per email) so why ask her to relive it again? ;)

[labblab]

Gosh, I was responding solely to what Meg has publicly told us all here on the forum, not something contained in an email. Leslie, if you and Kathy have some additional private info in this regard, then by all means that is not intended to be publicly shared.

And Meg, there is no need for you to even touch upon the topic of your parents' argument if it is too painful for you. You can just ignore this entire series of replies and move on. I certainly am not meaning for you to relive that entire night. I was just trying to focus solely on the content of their argument itself, as well as some specifics about their intentions, since they figure so importantly in most all of your replies here. But definitely, please ignore the question if it is too painful to answer and I will not bring it up again. I am just trying to help sort things out. The last thing I want to do is make things harder for you.

Marianne

[doxiesrock912]

Well said Marianne.
Since we weren't part of the email exchange, we had no idea.

Meg sweetie, answer only if you want to. My thinking was that if one of your parents also believes that Abby is happy, then I was hoping that they could convince the other parent to back off so that there was less stress for everyone.

Hugs

[Budsters Mom]

Well Meg, there has been a lot of discussion since your last visit (yesterday). You have so many aunties here on this forum who care deeply for you and our sweet Abby. In our efforts to help, sometimes we tend to push a liitle too hard for details, trying to understand. Please tell us only what you are comfortable saying and ignore any questions that make you feel uncomfortable, okay?

After saying that, please realize that the more details you are able the share, the better we will be able to help you find a workable solution.

I know that you feel uneasy about a puppy right now. Does Abby get along with other dogs? Has she had any exposure to them? How did she react? These types these things need to be considered whenever someone thinks about adding a new fur baby to the family.

Continue to shower our precious girl with love,

Big hugs to both of you,

[Meg_Elizabeth]

Hi friends, I'm sorry I haven't updated in a few days. It's just been the same cycle of good and bad, screaming parents, uncertainty, and tears. I will write in more detail and respond tomorrow when I finally get some sleep. Fingers crossed.
Lots of love,
Meg

[Budsters Mom]

Thanks for updating for us. ;) We still want to know even if the situation remains the same. One day at a time Meg. Abby is still with you to love after all this time. That's a blessing indeed. :p I would have loved just a little more time with Buddy.

Big hugs to both of you,

[doxiesrock912]

Hugs.
We're always here Meg.

[Meg_Elizabeth]

That's my worry too Kathy.

Meg, I worry that your parents are thinking of the puppy as a band aid that will fix your fears regarding Abby and that somehow getting one will convince you that it's Abby's time.

We all know that each one of our furbabies is unique and while we love all of them with all our being, each has special attributes that we hold close in our hearts. I don't think that your parents understand this.

Some people just don't understand or have the ability to connect with animals like we do here. They just don't get it and no amount of explaining will make them get it.

The other night, when Abby had the accidents and your parents were arguing. What were they arguing about? Knowing this might help me to understand their thinking.

Hugs


I don't have a problem answering this, the fighting is so frequent and common that i'm used to it to some degree. They are tired of cleaning up Abbys accidents and my dad is allergic to Abbys hairs, and so that is why my dad has been so adamant about putting her down. My mother gets angry but she loves abby and doesn't know if its time. They want to get a new puppy that is hypoallergenic so that I wont be as devastated when abby leaves me. Atleast that's been their explanation.

Abby hasn't had any accidents in three days (knock on wood) and has been doing quite well. But like I said, it changes daily

[Budsters Mom]

Thank you for sharing Meg. It's tough to be in the middle when your folks are fighting. So you dad is ready to put Abby down, but your mom's not sure it's time. Nobody likes cleaning up accidents! :o Unfortunately, this happens often with older dogs, just like with older seniors. I'm happy to hear that she hasn't had an accident in three days. Yay Abby!

You absolutely will be devastated when Abby flies. She has been your best friend for so long that you are joined at the hip. Yes, a puppy could help, but having one will not be a replacement for Abby. Our precious babies can never be replaced. If you truly are not ready to take a puppy on when Abby Is still with you, try to talk to your folks about it when they were in a receptive mood. It does sound like they love you and want you to be happy.

Big hugs to both our girls,

[Meg_Elizabeth]

Thank you Kathy. I don't know what I'd do without your constant kindness and support.

Abby accidentally dropped stool as I got home tonight. She seemed fine and was really happy to see me, even tried to jump up like she used to. Then the stool just dropped up. She had no idea.

[Budsters Mom]

That is common in older dogs and people. :o I'm glad that Abby didn't realize what happened. Sometimes they get very upset when this happens because they don't want to soil in the house, but can't help it. Love on her and tell her how proud you are of her. Soak in her happy moments.:p I hope you were able to clean it up before your folks saw it. They might not understand that this is beyond her control and will probably keep happening. Try to keep her on tiled areas as much as possible. That makes clean up tons easier. Focus on Abby as much as possible. A happy Abby = A happy Meg:)

Big hugs to both our girls,

[doxiesrock912]

Meg, I'm glad that you were there when Abby had the accident before your parents could get to her (I hope).

Since she hasn't had a problem in 3 days, I'm going to definitely say that stress plays a HUGE part in this. Not all, but most.

Now I understand and I'm glad that your mother is not ready to give up on Abby either.

As far as another dog goes, tell them that you'll decide when and if you are ready when that time comes. Period.

Surely your mother can understand that. Hugs

[Meg_Elizabeth]

Thank you guys :) I'm just terrified that she's going to start peeing in the house. So far it's just solid stool.

[Meg_Elizabeth]

http://i.imgur.com/ytCuSeO.jpg (http://imgur.com/ytCuSeO)

[My sweet Ginger]

Oooh, this picture of Abby warms my heart, immensely.

[Budsters Mom]

Oh Meg, thank you for sharing the photo. Abby is looking at you with eyes of love. She is BEAUTIFUL! I loved seeing her!:p:p:):)

[Squirt's Mom]

What a beautiful pic! She looks good to me, Meg, and especially pretty with the lights all around her.

[molly muffin]

Awww, what a beauty she is!

hugs

[Meg_Elizabeth]

:) thank you friends

[doxiesrock912]

Meg, she really does look good!!!
Honestly!

[Meg_Elizabeth]

Today I came home from the doctors and see she is limping and barely putting pressure on her back leg. She can't go up or down stairs. Do u think she maybe fell or something while I was not home?

[doxiesrock912]

That is quite possible Meg.
Is it swollen or anything?

Look to be sure that nothing is stuck in her paw or that there's no would as if she stepped on a stick or something. That would make her not want to put her foot down.

[Budsters Mom]

Yes, check her paws really well and monitor her closely for signs of swelling. Compare it to the other leg, to see if they are the same size. ;)Try to keep her off of it is much as possible. Sometimes rest is all that's needed. She'll need to see a vet if it isn't markedly better in a day or two.

Big hugs to both our girls,

[molly muffin]

The most important thing is to stay off the leg, not let her try to do stairs or anything. Check paws but it could be that she jumped wrong, or something and injured the leg. A reason to check for swelling. If there is swelling or if she shows discomfort when you touch it, then I'd go to the vet with her to have it checked out.

[Meg_Elizabeth]

Thank u all, we took her to the vet last night. Poor thing was shaking so hard and avoiding the car because she saw us sobbing. She looked so scared. The vet said it's pretty bad arthritis. He gave us tramadol and she's walking fine again. He did say her quality of life was still good but the pooping could be colitis? So he gave us an antibiotic. He said it was too soon for euthanasia. But he did give me the prices while my mother started wailing and calling me evil and Heartless in front of the doctor. He also gave us a low dose of Xanax for Abby to sleep thru the night. She slept like a baby, even snoring. But the meds concern me. No accidents today, but she did tear down the barricade I had in front of the stairs so she could get up them lol

[Dixie'sMom]

Are you sure the Xanex was for Abbey and not your mother? Ok, I'm just kidding. :) I'm so glad to hear that the vet thinks her quality of life is still good since we have been feeling that way also and thinking Abbey looks really good. :) I'm sorry about her leg but the Tramadol should help and it would be wonderful if the antibiotics helps the pooping problems. Sounds like there was a medical reason for it and not just old age or nervous poops. Since the tramadol is making Abbey oblivious to her pain, keep as close of check on her as you can so she doesn't make her leg worse. You go Abbey! Hugs and hang in there Meg!

[Budsters Mom]

:oI'm glad that you took her to the vet and got some meds to help her feel better. :p Let's hope the antibiotics help the pooping issue. Just know that they may not. Accidents are common in senior dogs. I'm glad the meds helped Abby sleep through the night. Hopefully you'll get a little more rest too.;)

So the vet doesn't think she's ready to fly yet. That gives you a little more time to enjoy each other. I'm sorry that getting the prices for euthanasia was difficult. I sure wish I would've planned Buddy's arrangements ahead of time. Although it was difficult for you to get the information with your mom upset, I do understand her reaction. Euthanasia is a emotionally difficult subject for most of us.:o

I'm glad that Abby seems to be feeling better. :p

Hugs to both our girls,

[doxiesrock912]

Meg, I'm so glad that your mother was there to hear the vet say that it was not time yet!!!!
You are FAR from heartless and I don't understand why your mother would say that?
I suppose that she's angry for being in the middle of this situation knowing how your father feels.

People take meds for arthritis, so I fully believe in helping our furbabies deal with it too. It is an old age malady, regardless of species. It is not the end by far.

I am also hoping that the vet is right about the colitis and that the antibiotics work :-)

Yay!!!!!!! Hugs!!!!!!

[Meg_Elizabeth]

Hahaha the Xanax is for Abby and it is all in my possession. Sad that Abby had two accidents today. Both poop just flying out of her :(

[Spencersmom]

Have given my babies Tramadol......take it myself! Has it helped with the leg pain? Be careful too of back injury, which can manefest itself in pain in their legs! Just putting that out there if she jumps on/off furniture or goes up & down stairs.

[doxiesrock912]

Meg, you said that she has meds for the colitis right?
That might take a few days before you see improvement.

Is the Xanax helping her sleep?

[Meg_Elizabeth]

Hi guys.. The tramadol is helping her a lot. She's pooping outside more and having less accidents. Tonight we had a Christmas party and Abby got so excited she slipped and fell down the stairs. I caught her at the end and soothed her. Gave her medicine. Her tail is wagging. I can't stop crying though. Does this ever get easier?

[Meg_Elizabeth]

Oh and my parents left a huge garbage bag open in the kitchen. Abby just ate two brownies and has ice cream all over her face. Should be a great night.

[Budsters Mom]

Hi Meg,

I don't know where to begin.…

Abby is unsteady on her best days. She is taking tramadol, which is a powerful drug. It's likely that it's making her feel somewhat loopy and unsteady on her feet. The stairs have not been Abby's friend. Please try to keep her as far away from them as possible.

Now for the trash... The trash hasn't been Abby's friend either. She has had too many close calls/emergencies resulting from trash digging. Most of them involving chocolate. You are never going to be able to control what your parents do and I know little about that. The best you can hope for is to try to keep tabs on Abby, knowing where she is at all times. You might try keeping her on a leash close to you, so she doesn't get herself in trouble.

Now for a my response to your question as to whether it ever gets easier. Yes Meg, it does. It gets a whole lot easier when they fly free. It got so easy for me that I totally fell apart because I was no longer needed and didn't know what to do with myself. I would do it all again with Buddy in a heartbeat if I could.:o

Let's look at what has been working. The tramadol is helping with Abby's pain. She is having less poop accidents in the house. Her tail is wagging happily most of the time and she still with you to hug and love. I know it's hard Meg, but you can do it.

Big hugs to both our girls,

[doxiesrock912]

Your parents know better. That really makes me angry. God help the new puppy if they continue to be so careless.

I'm sorry that Abby fell but am glad that she wasn't injured.
Be proactive Meg, if you even think that something could be trouble for Abby, fix it.
Put a trash can with a cover in the kitchen and insist that your parents use it. Believe me, a puppy will also do whatever it can to get into trash too.
.

[Squirt's Mom]

Sooooo, are your parents getting cognitive treatment, too? If not, someone needs to suggest that or something to them so they will use their brains! :rolleyes::mad:

If you don't have them, get some baby gates and block the stairs for Abby's sake. They make them now where they open like a door so you nor your parents would have to climb over or take them up and down to use the stairs. Leaving them open so Abby can continue to hurt herself on them is just another example to me of how little your folks care about her. As Valerie said, heaven help that new dog if gods forbid it actually comes into their house.

How is Abby otherwise? Is she eating and drinking normally? I'm glad the Tramadol seems to be helping and hope it continues to.

Hugs,
Leslie and the gang

[Dixie'sMom]

Maybe this is none of my business and if not, just say so, but I've been wondering... are you going to be the one responsible for caring for, and potty training the new puppy? Since you aren't ready for a new puppy, I would make it clear to them that you don't want to be assigned that task. If they want the new puppy, they should be responsible for it.

Again, sorry if this is none of my business and I intruded. I just know you have your hands full caring for Abby.

[My sweet Ginger]

:) Hi Meg,

How's Abby doing after she chomped down brownies yesterday?
I'm praying she's ok. Please, let us know as we all are worried for her.
Hugs, Song.

[doxiesrock912]

Meg, I'm guessing that Abby has been ill since the chocolate. I'm thinking of a prior incident and she recovered without further problems. Praying for the same outcome. Hugs!

[Budsters Mom]

There were a couple of prior incidences that occurred with chocolate. Both of them were emergency situations where Abby ended up quite ill. This latest episode occurred when Abby got into brownies and ice cream. The brownies are not pure chocolate. Hopefully Abby will be able to recover yet a third time, but she's bound to be pretty sick.:o

Hi Meg,

Yes, we are worried. :o I am waiting alongside the others for a report as to Abby's condition. I am just hoping that Abby is doing well and you are just so busy with Christmas to check in right now.;)

Big hugs to both our girls,

[Trish]

Meg... So sorry to read this about Abby, I hope this has not made her sick again. I hope you have some fun with her over the holidays, that pic of her with the lights is so pretty. You have been worried about her passing all year and here we are at the end of it now and she is still here and if I say so looking pretty fit in her pics!!!! Such an awesome job you are doing with her. You know what your parents are like better than any of us getting a glimpse into your life, so my advice is you do what feel's right for you, your family and Abby. I know it is hard, but try not to get too caught up with what is going to happen in the future or otherwise you might miss the joy that today brings!! :D Happy Holidays Meg and Abby xxx

[doxiesrock912]

Merry Christmas Meg and Abby!!! Hugs

[Meg_Elizabeth]

Hi everyone, merry Christmas. Abby thankfully went outside and threw up the brownies almost immediately. Not much else except the almost daily accident in the house, and pain. We are hanging in the best we can

[Budsters Mom]

Hi Meg,

I am so glad to hear that Abby threw up the brownies and has seemed to recover from that episode.:p

As tough as it has been, you still have Abby to hold, talk with and Love. That is a Christmas blessing not to be taken lightly. So many of us don't have that anymore.

Has there been any more said about a puppy? You mentioned that one was coming for Christmas.:confused: I know that you are feeling uneasy about welcoming a new puppy right now. Your hands are full and I totally understand. In the event that it happens anyway, we will welcome the new arrival to our family here. That means puppy pictures, please.;):D

Merry Christmas and big hugs for both our girls,

[Squirt's Mom]

I'm glad she doesn't seem to have been harshly effected by the brownies.

Merry Christmas to you and Abby, Meg!

[doxiesrock912]

Meg, thank God for small favors! Abby's body got rid of them before they could do real harm.

You still have each other my dear and the accidents - she was improving before the brownie incident and that's on your parents.

Did Santa get Abby something for Christmas? Hugs

[molly muffin]

Merry Christmas to you and Abby Meg!

hugs

[Budsters Mom]

Abby has been a very good girl all year. :):):p:p

Well, what did Santa bring her? :confused::D

[doxiesrock912]

Hi Meg, hoping that Christmas was better than expected for you and dear Abby.

[Meg_Elizabeth]

Thank you everyone. Merry Christmas, pray for us

[Budsters Mom]

Be glad to Meg. :p You and Abby are always on my prayer list. It does help being more specific if possible, so we know what we are praying for. ;)

I hope you and Abby were able to find some joy together on Christmas. Was there a puppy in your stocking or are your folks waiting a bit? :confused:

Big hugs to both our girls,

[doxiesrock912]

What's going on Meg?
Has Abby recovered from the brownie incident?

Is there a new addition to the house and if so, how is Abby handling it?

[Budsters Mom]

My New Year's wish for you Meg, is for you to find peace within your own heart, regardless of what is occurring around you. :p

Continuing to pray for both our girls.

[doxiesrock912]

Happy New Year Meg, Abby - everyone!

[Meg_Elizabeth]

I need to update everyone, poor Abby had a terrible New Years because of the fireworks. She peed all over the house. She woke me up around 4am to go outside (or so I thought) and I came down but she would not go. I was walking to the bathroom and slipped on her urine. Hit my face off the sink and was unconscious for a few seconds because I woke up covered in urine with a huge bump on my head and a bloody lip.
My dad cleaned me up but suffice to say, it's been hell. I have another concussion, and the entire family wants to put her down asap.

[Budsters Mom]

Oh Meg, I am so very sorry to read this.:o Many dogs are terrified of fireworks. This is a common dog fear. Their hearing is much more acute than ours, so the bangs are deafening. Rosie is the first dog I've ever had that hasn't been terrified of fireworks. She just gets ticked off because the noise wakes her up. Also, peeing everywhere and anywhere when terrified is common in dogs also, and some people.;)

Your parents are terrified for you and rightfully so. You have had five concussions now that we're aware of and are receiving cognitive therapy. It wasn't Abby's fault that you slipped on her urine. That was an unfortunate accident. I can understand at this point why your parents don't see it that way. Your safety comes first and they are very worried about you getting hurt over and over again.

You mentioned your dad cleaning you up. Have you been to see a doctor?:confused:

If it ends up that this is Abby's time to fly, She will be welcomed with love by our other fur angels.

Sending, strength, love and hugs to you both,

[Budsters Mom]

Meg,

How is Abby now?

[doxiesrock912]

Aww Meg,
I hope that you're both alright! How scary for everyone!!!

Were you aware that Abby is afraid of fireworks?
If so, please PLEASE be proactive and next time fireworks are expected, you and Abby move to the basement where it is safer.

I hate to hear when something has happened and your parents once again blame Abby.

I'm also going to suggest that it might be prudent to train Abby to use wee wee pads..

[Squirt's Mom]

Oh Meg, I am so sorry you were hurt yet again! And that Abby is under thread of euth again. Just so sad for both of you, honey. How are you today? How is Abby today?

I have a suggestion that may sound cruel but is not - it may be the salvation in fact. Let Abby go to another home, to someone who will love her like you, maybe even let you visit her....but she would be safe from your parents, and you wouldn't be apt to be hurt physically and Abby blamed. The fact is, unless this was the very first time she reacted to loud noise, someone should have been prepared and made sure she was safe that night. ;) No one did unfortunately and now you both pay the price with your parents. This is not a healthy situation for Abby, Meg, nor for you. She is constantly in danger of euth and you are constantly torn up about it all....and your parents, well I just don't know what to say about them. Barbara is right in that they want to protect you from further harm, surely she is right about that, but to kill Abby to protect you is going a bit far in my mind when they have done little to nothing to train Abby. Abby looks as if she could have much more time on this Earth if she could get in a stress free environment where consistency existed, including consistent kindness, where someone understands you can't leave things like brownies out over and over, where she could always go to the vet and get any treatment or meds she needs without a major meltdown on the part of those who took her in and by doing so promised to care for her always - which does NOT seem to be happening. Abby deserves a better home, Meg. YOU deserve better. Please think about it for both your sakes....maybe your parents would be easier to deal with then. And I pray with all my Soul no other dog ever enters their home. I'm sorry to say these things, Meg, but I do feel it would be best for Abby and you if she lived elsewhere. :( At least she would LIVE.

Hugs,
Leslie and the gang

[Meg_Elizabeth]

Leslie, Val, Kathy -- thank you so much for making me feel better. I agree with all of you 100%. At this point in time, my parents are preparing for her to be euthanized. It's not really a question now because my aunts, uncles, grandparents were all informed of what happened and blamed Abby. Said she is killing me. But it was just an accident and Abby has always been a little anxious when there's fireworks.

I'm at brain rehab today actually. In the relaxation room as I type this. They are going to move me into their residential apartment program so I can get 24/7 treatment. This will probably happen towards the end of January so I guess I'll just have to protect Abby and give her as much possible while I can. I'm not going to let her suffer in that house without me.

I'm sorry if I share too much information or if it makes people uncomfortable. I apologize. There is just no one else who understands or cares. You guys feel like family at this point and you've kept me going through all the hell. I can't thank you enough

[Budsters Mom]

Oh Meg, I am here. I have been here for you and Abby since day one. Yes, your main focus right now has to be your recovery. Obviously your doctors feel the need fo you to be in a 24/7 treatment facility. Getting a break from home stress will be good for you. I wish I were in a relaxation room right now.;)

You have no contol over Abby's fate. It has been your parent's call all along. Smothering Abby with love is all you can do for her right now.

If your details make others uncomfortable, they do not have to follow your thread. There are many of us who really do care and want to know.

Big hugs to both our girls,

[doxiesrock912]

Meg, please find another home for Abby asap!

I think that Leslie is 100% correct and that Abby will thrive without the constant harassment and carelessness from your parents. Someone who will let you visit and PLEASE do all that you can to make sure that your parents do not get another dog!

Like Leslie, I am so afraid for both of you and the minute that you're not home - I can't even think about what your parents will do!


Enlist the help of your local shelter or rescue organization. I'd opt for the rescue so that Abby won't spend time in a shelter, she'll go directly to another home.

Tell your parents that this is what you're going to do and that they are not to kill Abby under any circumstances or you'll call the police for animal cruelty.

I don't see another option here. I am so sorry Meg. Both of you deserve better.

[Renee]

I'm going to chime in with something that is maybe not very popular, and please delete my post if anyone is truly offended. I apologize in advance if this is unwelcome.

That said - one of the most important things I have learned in rescue is that there are much worse things than dying. If it's a choice between Abby being euthanized or being left behind with a family (Meg's parents) that cannot or will not properly care for her, then being humanely euthanized would be the choice I would make.

Also, at her age and given her medical conditions - I think you'll be hard pressed to find a rescue that is willing to take her on. What you are talking about is hospice care, as her chances of being adopted are quite low. It's a burden that a lot of rescues won't take on. My rescue would, but that is because we are breed specific and we will not turn down any pug in need, regardless. But, a lot of all-breed rescues do not have that luxury. They have to be realistic.

I also think it is an undue burden on you Meg to think that you have just a month to find a family you trust to take Abby on.

All that said, you might at least contact a few rescues and get the lay of the land. This is only my opinion and I may be completely wrong. Obviously my experience is probably different than a lot of other people and there may be the perfect family out there for Abby.

Just wanted to add: unless you can find a no-kill shelter, due to Abby's medical she would be immediately euthanized. I work very, very closely with our shelter here in AK, which is not no-kill. If Abby came into the shelter system, she would be euthanized due to medical, unless a rescue organization stepped up to take her right away. So, in that respect, contacting a rescue is the better choice.

[My sweet Ginger]

Meg, did you get my PM? It is very,very important that you read my PM, please. Song.

[labblab]

Renee, it is true that what you have written is hard to read, but you mirror some of the same concerns that I have about Abby's situation. Realistically, I was also wondering whether there are many, if any, suitable rehoming options for Abby that could be arranged in such a short time. And also, for a dog with such clear stress/fear issues, how humane is it, really, to shift her to an entirely new family and home at this late stage of her life? I do not know the answers to either of those questions, and I do defer to you, Renee, and to our other folks who have personal experience with geriatric rescue.

However, as I have stated before on other threads, I do believe that prolonging life for an ill or elderly dog who would no longer survive without assistance/treatment is just as much of an intervention as is humane euthanasia. And that is why weighing quality of life issues seems so important to me. However, this is just my own personal philosophy and I suspect that others here may strongly disagree with me.

Bringing this all back to Abby, I cannot presume to say what would be best for her right now. But I think the points you have raised, Renee, are worthy of consideration -- as painful as they may be to read and think about.

Marianne

[Squirt's Mom]

Meg, stay in touch as much as you can. We are always here to listen and to help Abby in any way we can....and you, too, sweetie, tho offering our love and support and suggestions is all that most of us can do. We are here, always.

Like Kathy said, love Abby as much as you can for as long as you can and take extra good care of you both.

[Squirt's Mom]

I guess since Abby is exactly the type dog I work with, other than size, it doesn't seem as unrealistic to me that someone would take her. I'm not the only one out there, either. ;)

[labblab]

Les, how would Meg go about finding someone like you?

Although, if Meg can clarify for us, it sounds as though the ultimate decision about all this actually rests with her parents.

[Budsters Mom]

Yes, and the decision regarding Abby's fate has ALWAYS been in the parent's hands.

[doxiesrock912]

That is true Kathy, but Meg's parents don't seem to understand that Meg needs Abby just as much as Abby needs Meg in her life.

What affect will Abby's being euthanized have on Meg? Especially with your own health issues Meg. I worry very much about the emotional impact all of this is having on you.

Maybe your parents should read our comments and talk with your doctors in order to determine your overall wellbeing? Not just your physical state.

Animals are often a Godsend for people with handicaps and medical issues. They are invaluable and provide unconditional support and patience that humans just can't do.

This is something that your parents must be made aware of Meg. I strongly urge all of you to talk with your doctors together.

[Budsters Mom]

Hi Meg,

PLEASE ANSWER MY EMAIL!!!! You always have before. You can trust me. Please provide the information requested, so I can try to help you, help Abby before it's too late.

I am going to blunt here. I am not completely convinced that your entire family wants to euthanize Abby ASAP. If they really wanted to do it, it would've happened by now. Frankly, it only takes a few minutes. There is not a lot of preparation for it.:o

I do think that they are very worried about you and don't know what to do. This was not the first time that you have been hurt by something to do with Abby. As I recall, you slipped and fell while carrying her. None of these things are Abby's fault, but your family is worried nonetheless. Brain injuries are serious and you have had many of them.

I truly am sorry that you are in this position. Have you talked to your doctors about any of this? If you have, what did they say? If you haven't, please do so. Stress affects recovery. You are under a boatload of stress and have been for a very long time. They need to know about it.

Hope to hear from you soon,

[doxiesrock912]

Meg, we're worried. and ALWAYS here for you and Abby. Hugs

[Meg_Elizabeth]

Hi friends, I am so sorry I haven't posted but you can imagine how crazy the last week has been. I've been in and out of the hospital, getting ct and mri scans, seeing all my doctors, and the weather has been brutal in pa. I will respond to everyone soon I promise but we had an accident again.

Abby had a pretty bad fall last night. She went outside to pee and while she was coming back in slipped on the ice by the front door and went down. (It's 3 degrees and snowing here)
She tried to get up but had rock salt all over her paws and it hurt her so bad. My parents froze in shock so I dove out there and picked her up and brought her inside on a blanket. I initially feared it was vestibular, because I only heard my dad yell from the foyer that "hey Abby is down." But I soothed her and held her and grabbed a warm rag and washed off her paws and dried them. She seemed in shock but stopped shaking after about 15 minutes of me holding her. I threw up because I was so dizzy from it all. But as I got up to be sick, Abby tried to get up as well and thank god, she was able to do it. I had given her pain medication an hour earlier. So she was back walking around in 30 minutes, tail wagging. It was horrifying though. Needed to tell you guys

[Budsters Mom]

Hi Meg,

Abby is amazing! She continues to pop right back up after all of these near tragedies. I am so glad that she is okay.:p

However, I am worried about you. Your dizziness doesn't sound good at all! PLEASE BE CAREFUL!!!! :eek::eek::eek::eek: You need to wear a crash helmet 24/7

Thanks for updating. I am so glad that you're getting the care you need.:p

Big hugs to both of our girls,

[doxiesrock912]

Meg, thank you so much for updating us!!!!!
I am thrilled that Abby is ok and I hope that the doctors can help you recover quickly.

We've also been in the single digits. Crazy weather!

[Budsters Mom]

Thinking of both our girls. (((((Hugs)))))

[doxiesrock912]

Hi Meg, I hope that you're both ok! Hugs

[Meg_Elizabeth]

Hi guys, I'm moving into residential treatment for my brain so I've been so busy and regrettably haven't seen much of Abby. Parents are still the same, but I refuse a new puppy and they're getting vicious. They barely even care now when Abby slips in the snow or falls

[My sweet Ginger]

Meg, have there been any decisions made regarding Abby's fate?

[doxiesrock912]

Meg, can someone take Abby until you get back home?

[Budsters Mom]

Hi Meg,

Thank you so much for updating.;)You have counted on my honesty from the beginnning of Abby's journey here on the forum. Some of my thoughts regarding your situation and Abby's predicament have been unpopular among the others. Please know that I care very much about both of you. This post is going to fall in that category. Please remember that these are my thoughts and feelings only and others may feel very differently.

I know that you love Abby with ever fiber of your being. She has been your best friend for most of your childhood. I, like you had a furry little brother that grew up with me. He joined my family when I was three years old and flew to the bridge after I turn 18. We were inseparable, just like you and Abby I understand that deep connection Meg.

The ultimate decision regarding our sweet Abby's fate and her treatment at home ultimately falls with your parents. It has all along and I feel that has not changed. Many of us have offered suggestions advising you what to do regarding Abby's situation at home. I have freely offered many suggestions myself. What it comes down to at this point is your recovery. You do have control of that Meg. The one thing you do have control of is yourself. Go into the treatment facility and put every ounce of your strength and energy into healing yourself. You are very young. You have your entire life ahead of you. It makes me very sad to think that sweet Abby is being left behind, but that is what needs to be done for now. Your parents will ultimately make the decision regarding Abby that they feel is necessary when the time is right. I so wish there was another way, but I really don't see one. Since your time with Abby is so limited right now, make the most of every precious moment. She loves you just as much as you love her. She know that you've done everything in your power to help her and is very grateful for everything you have done.

So Meg, go into treatment and heal yourself. That is what Abby would want too!

with much love,


Hi guys, I'm moving into residential treatment for my brain so I've been so busy and regrettably haven't seen much of Abby. Parents are still the same, but I refuse a new puppy and they're getting vicious. They barely even care now when Abby slips in the snow or falls

[Meg_Elizabeth]

No decisions regarding Abby's fate. When she's not sleeping her tail is wagging but she's either going up and down the stairs or falling outside sooner rather than later. Which always ends in heart break for me. Every time Abby is hurt, I die inside a little. I know that sounds dramatic but it's the gods honest truth

[Meg_Elizabeth]

Kathy, thank you for your wisdom and more importantly, your honesty and support :) I agree with everything you said and am so grateful someone cares for Abby as I do. She will be in good hands. I'm going to visit whenever possible and my grandmas are going to check in with Abby daily or every few days. Both are now retired and love her to bits

[Budsters Mom]

So glad that Abby have grammas that love her too!:p What a relief!

Since your folks are probably both working, I'm sure Abby would love some quality Gramma time and a nice potty break while they are there.

Thrilled to hear that her tail is still wagging away! :D:D:D

Do you have any idea how long you will be in the treatment facility? Did they give you an estimate or is it and wait and see situation, depending on how it goes? So glad you are getting the help you need.

Please continue to update us as you are able.

big hugs,

[doxiesrock912]

So both of you are in good hands!
Thank God for your grandmothers!!!!

Are they allowed to visit you and maybe bring Abby to the facility?

[Squirt's Mom]

Did you read and consider Song's message concerning Abby?

[Meg_Elizabeth]

I'm starting to think Abby is not long for this world. Going Abby feels like abandoning her and she seems to worsen each day. Her tail wags still, but is she really happy and enjoying life? She's sleeping more Than ever. I don't know. I can't help but feel like she would be much happier in heaven. Perhaps I'm just very down though. I don't know. Love and hugs.
-Meg

[Meg_Elizabeth]

Yes I read and have considered what Song said. Abby is so old though. With so many issues. I don't know

[Budsters Mom]

Hi Meg,

It is understandable that you are feeling down. So much pressure for one so young with health challenges.:o

The decision when Abby flies is in your parents hands. They will ultimately make that choice and you won't have to or have any control over their decision. You will however have to live with that decision. Although unfair, that's the way it is. :o :(

So, it all goes back to what I said a few days ago. Focus on your own recovery as much as possible and smother Abby with love and attention every moment that you have left together. Make memories that will last your lifetime. None of this is easy sweet, we all know that very well. It really sucks, but there you have it!:o:(

I am so sorry Meg. I really wish that things were different for you.

Big hugs to both our girls,

[Meg_Elizabeth]

Thank you so much. I just came home and walked Abby for about 15 minutes. She seemed to enjoy it and thought she was young again for the first minute or so. I gave her the pain meds and everything that she has still. Just keep us in your prayers. Both of us need it. Love you all.
-Meg

[Budsters Mom]

If Abby is still able to take a 15 minute walk, she's doing ok Meg.:p I'm glad that she still has pain meds left to help her feel more comfortable. Plenty of prayers headed your way.

Big hugs,

[doxiesrock912]

Meg, honestly - dogs sleep 85% of their lives so I've read. Abby sounds like she still has a lot of life left. Remember that she's very intune to your feelings. Your sad and stressed which she will definitely feel too. Xoxo

Abby is doing fine. Enjoy each other.

[ShibaMom]

Hi Meg,

I'm new here, but your thread is one of the ones I've read from start to finish so far, and I've cried along with you on your journey with Abby.
How's she doing? How are YOU doing?

I hope things are going well with your rehabilitation. I've had times of unrelenting headaches that last weeks, and issues with trigeminal neuralgia, and I'm guessing those pale in comparison to what you've endured and are enduring. Please focus on your recovery!

Abby's lucky to you have you on her side.

Looking forward to hear of your progress and successes in the future!

All the best,
Samantha and Zanya

[Budsters Mom]

Yo Meg!

Thinking of you and our sweet Abby and hoping for an update before you move into the hospital residential program. ;) Work hard to heal that noggin of yours by taking advantage of the opportunity you have been given. I could sure use that meditation room. I'd love to be able to camp out in there for a while. ;):D

I hope Abby still has a bounce to her step and a wag to her tail.:p

Sending many prayers and healing energy to you both. xxxxoooo

[Robert'sGirl]

Hi guys,
my name is Meghan and I'm 23 years old. I live with my wonderful family and our incredible dog, Abby. I found this site while searching for some answers and some comfort on the web. Ive never felt this kind of pain or fear in my life... watching my beloved dog, slowly, but steadily begin to fade away.

I adopted Abby when she was 1 year old. We rescued her from an abusive family who beat her and left her malnourished. She was scrawny, but beautiful. She is a mutt, part lab, collie, spitz, and retriever. Her coat is white with Carmel coloring on her ears and back. Instantly we fell in love with her and did our best everyday to give her the most incredible life possible. She just turned 14.

She was diagnosed with Cushing's in early spring of 2012. She was so hyper and anxious, panting so much, drinking and peeing all day and all night. Unable to sit still. We've had her on medicine and and shes been doing well, she runs every day and has a fantastic diet regimen... until our world turned upside when she had a stroke and suffered a very severe and very traumatizing case of "Old Dog Vertigo" also known as Vestibular Syndrome. I can't express in words how hard it is. My heart breaks when I see her suffer but the doctor said she is making remarkable improvements and could fully recover.

Does anyone here have experience with idiopathic vestibular syndrome or "old dog vertigo." ? Does anyone know how this kind of pain feels? I don't know how to feel better.

-----As I understand it, there is no pain the geriatric vestibular disease and dogs generally do recover, although many keep the "head tilt." Check for CDD, though... many of the symptons you mention prior to the stroke sound like cognitive disorder disease in dogs.

[Squirt's Mom]

Meg, I hope we get to hear from you at least one more time before you go into the rehab center. AND I hope you are able to chat with us from time to time while there and keep us updated on your progress. I would love to hear from you, know how you are and how our sweet Abby is doing.

[Meg_Elizabeth]

Hi everyone. I have a quick break from a therapy session so I figured I'd say hi. Abby is doing okay, apparently she's been sleeping in my bedroom at home waiting for me. My parents said they shoveled a path for her in the snow to go to the bathroom and stuff and that she's only had a few falls on the ice :(

[Budsters Mom]

Hi Meg,

Thank you so much for checking in. I am very relieved to hear from you. :p

It sounds like Abby is hanging in there pretty well and having less falls. :p I am glad to hear that your folks have cleared a path for her to potty and that someone has been taking her out more often. :p

Please continue to check in as you are able. We care about you and our precious Abby. xxxxoooo

[doxiesrock912]

Meg, I'm glad that your parents are being more responsive to Abby's needs.

How is treatment going? Any idea how long this will take?

[Squirt's Mom]

Hey sweetie,

Good to hear from you! I hope you are being well taken care of there and they know just how special you are. In case they don't, give them my email and I will let them know.

It's good to hear that your folks are at least thinking a little bit about Abby's needs and clearing paths for her. As you are able, let us hear from you and know you are in the thoughts and prayers of many who care about you and Abby.

Hugs,
Leslie and the gang

[doxiesrock912]

How ate things going Meg?
Is treatment helping your headaches etc?

Hoping all is well!

[Budsters Mom]

Bumping up for when Meg returns, so she can find her thread easier.;)

[Meg_Elizabeth]

hi guys I am doing well at brain injury rehab and Abby is doing okay back home! I snuck into the staff office to use their wifi so I could say hello. Abby is having a lot of accidents in the house (poop only) but other than that I hear she is doing well. I get to come home for the weekend and see her. I am so excited. Here is a picture my brother sent me of her new haircut:

http://i.imgur.com/urXMawS.jpg

With hugs,
Meg

[Budsters Mom]

Hi Meg,
I am so, so, so, so happy to hear that you are doing well with your rehab.:p

Also thrilled to hear that you're going home to visit Abby this weekend. What a joy!:p After all this time, I didn't even know you had a brother. So glad to hear that too. Is he older or younger?Abby still looks good in the picture you sent. They even got her groomed!:p

Enjoy your weekend with your precious baby and give sweet Abby tons of love from all of us. I hope to hear from you again soon.

Takes care of yourself and do what those doctors tell you to do. We want that pretty little brain of yours all healed up.

Big hugs to both our girls,
Kathy

[Dixie'sMom]

I'm so glad to hear that you are doing good and Abby looks beautiful as usual. Enjoy your visit home, Meg! :D

[Squirt's Mom]

It is so good to hear from you, sweetie! I am glad to know you are doing well at the clinic and hope you continue to see improvement in yourself. The pic of Abby is great! I know it did your heart good to see that, too.

Hugs,
Leslie and the gang

[molly muffin]

Abby looks really good in her picture. :)

Take care of yourself.

[doxiesrock912]

Meg, I am so glad that the therapy is helping!!!! The picture of Abby is adorable. She looks fine!

[Meg_Elizabeth]

Thank you for the positivity everyone. Abby bit me last night. I'm still trying to process it, heading back to my apartment. She was slipping and falling on the ice, like a little deer who couldn't walk. It was freezing rain and her paws hurt from the salt rocks. When she was done doing her business in the snow I tried to pick her up to carry her inside so I could clean her paws and she wouldn't fall. She snapped her head back and bit me. She tried to run inside, fell, and couldn't get up. I let my dad get her. I don't know what I did I was just trying to help her. After it happened she kept coming up to me and staring at me then walking away. She did the same this morning. I don't get it.

Anyways, hope everyone is well. I think of you guys so often. I got to bring my laptop back and now have Internet access so I'll be present on the site again. Hugs, Meg

[Squirt's Mom]

I'm so sorry that happened. :( One thing I thought of right away is that you have been away from home and where you are staying right now has very different smells from your home. Your body has taken on the scents from the clinic and Abby can smell those stronger now than she can the familiar scent of home on you. It may remind her of the vet's or when she was in the hospital. It might even frighten her a bit that part of you is the same but part is not and she doesn't understand. You may smell more like a stranger to her now.

Go slow and easy with her when you get to spend time with her and let her have enough time to learn that it is still you under all those new smells. ;)

[Meg_Elizabeth]

Wow I never thought of it that way. Thank you so much for saying that. I've been a complete mess about it, but now I feel much better.

[Meg_Elizabeth]

And thank you for believing in me so much and being so kind. Brain injury treatment is long and very taxing

[Budsters Mom]

Leslie is oh so wise!;) I'm sure Abby was very uncomfortable at the time. I certainly would be under those circumstances.;)

I remember when my dad was in the hospital for several days. He was finally able to be wheeled outside in a wheelchair. I brought Buddy to visit him. Normally all over my dad, he was frightened and would not go near him. Might've been the wheelchair, but most likely it was the smells that scared him.;)

I agree totally with Leslie. Take it slow and easy with Abby. She has had a lot of changes too.

Big hugs to both our girls,

[ShibaMom]

Great to hear from you Meg!
So glad that treatment is going well. I'm sure it's a very long and arduous process, but keep at it. Slow and steady wins the race!

I just love Abby's pic - she's adorable, and looks great!!

I'm so sorry about her biting you, though. That's really hard. Did she break skin?
My old boy Chip (non-cushing's, but other issues) has been more snappy lately, and bit down harder on my today, and has been biting knees if people brush him and he didn't expect it (not breaking skin). Lots can throw them off, and I'm certain that with Abby, the scents of the clinic were the primary cause.

*hugs*
Samantha

[doxiesrock912]

Meg, Abby was probably afraid from slipping etc and her instinct kicked in and she bit you. The walking up to you and then walking away in part might be that she feels really bad about it and senses your uneasiness around her now

It will pass. :-)

[Meg_Elizabeth]

Leslie, Kathy, Sam, Val -- thank you for making me feel so much better about this. I left a message on our home answering machine and my grandma said Abby's tail went crazy when she heard my voice. I feel so relieved. You guys are always right. Abby must have smelled something unfamiliar and mixed with the combination of ice, snow, fear, and pain, her animal instinct kicked in. I will keep telling myself that she loves me and that she's going to make it until I'm back home. It's the only thing that keeps me going. My girl and all my friends.
Lots of love, Meg

[ShibaMom]

Aww, I'm so glad to hear you received that reassurance from your Grandma :)
I know it can be so difficult, when so many things are out of their natural order (you away, Abby not feeling 100%, etc etc), and everything can be unsettling.
Keep up the great work, Meg! You've got a whole community, across the world, rooting for you and dear Abby (ha, ha ha, no pun intended!!)

Best,
Samantha, Zanya and crew

[Budsters Mom]

Yay for Gramma!!!! :p It looks like Abby is in pretty good hands. So, you take care of that noggin of yours! That's where your focus needs to be right now.

Big hugs to both our girls,

[Squirt's Mom]

Good for your Gramma and good for you! Keep doing what you need to be stronger and we will be right here by your side the whole way, sweetie. Abby will come to understand that it is still her mom under those new smells, you just watch. ;) Your love for her will shine thru and she will know that is real always.

[Meg_Elizabeth]

Hi friends. Quick check in before my next session. Abby has been waking my parents up three times a night again. They are growing very tired of it and last night asked me how much longer they must be subjected to it. Not sure if they mean they want to put her down or if they want me home so I can wake up with her. Either way, it was pretty upsetting. Oh well.

I hope everyone is doing well. I think of you everyday. Just wish I could post more.
Best wishes and hugs :)
-Meghan

[doxiesrock912]

Hi sweetie,
How long are you supposed to be in the facility? Have they given you a discharge date yet?
I think your parents are hinting and I wonder if Abby got into something she shouldn't have again? Hopefully you'll be home soon!

[Budsters Mom]

Hi Meg,

It's so good to hear from you.:p It comes down to what we've been talking about all along. Your focus needs to remain on healing that pretty little head of yours. I know how difficult that is when you love someone so much, but Abby's fate is in your parents hands. It has been from the beginning and I don't see that changing.

Abby understands that your time together is limited. She knows how much you love her and no one can take that from her ever. Treasure each precious moment and try not to worry so much about comments that you can do nothing about. When Abby does fly, she will be welcomed by all of our loving fur angels. She will be free of pain and puppy like once more.

Big hugs to both our girls and thanks for checking in,
Kathy

[Squirt's Mom]

As hard as it is to read, Kathy is right. Abby's fate has always rested with your folks sadly. You have to concentrate on getting better so you can function on your own away from them at some point. In your own home you will be the one with the final say on things. So you fight and fight hard for that day when you can leave there stronger than ever. Abby will always love you and knows you always have her best interest at heart.

[Meg_Elizabeth]

Thank you guys, you are amazing and more supportive than my own family. I'm home for the night with Abby. She went for a walk with me and she loved it.

I have a month left doing inpatient work, and three - four months more of outpatient. Vision therapy, vestibular therapy, cognitive therapy, physical therapy. It's exhausting and never ending. Thankfully, I will be back with Abby soon. I miss her more than anyone or anything and she loves the spring. :)

[Budsters Mom]

Hi sweetie,

Thanks so much for checking in.;) What a treat!A whole night home with Abby!:p:D!!! So happy to hear that you will be coming home in a month. :D

You are receiving so many services! Be very thankful for all of them. There are a boatload of people who would give their eye teeth to get a fraction of the help that you are receiving. Word hard my dear. Heal that head, so you can go out into the world and create your own future.

Big hugs to both our girls,
Kathy

[doxiesrock912]

I'm so happy that you have a break to spend with Abby!
Is the therapy helping?

It sounds like a lot of work, but you sound happy and that's wonderful!

[Squirt's Mom]

I'm so glad you got to go home and spend some time with Abby and your family. I know everyone was happy to see you. It sounds like you are getting some in depth attention there and I am happy for you. I hope it helps and you learn many new things about yourself. sweetie.

[molly muffin]

I'm sure it is a wonderful day when you get some Abby time.
:)

[Squirt's Mom]

Hi Meg! How are things going with you? How is Abby doing these days?

[Budsters Mom]

Happy Spring!!!:p:)

Are you coming home for Easter? How is Abby?

Big holiday hugs to both our girls,
Kathy

[Meg_Elizabeth]

Hope everyone is having a wonderful spring and happy easter. Love and hugs from Me and Abby. I'm home for the holiday and she's sleeping in my room. Enjoying every minute possible. Xoxo

[Dixie'sMom]

I'm happy to see that you and Abby get to spend some time together. Have a wonderful Easter!

[Budsters Mom]

Sooooo glad you got to come home for Easter and that Abby is still with you! That is terrific news indeed! :p:p:):):p:p:):)

Bigs hugs to both my girls,
Kathy

[doxiesrock912]

Wonderful news Meg! Happy Easter to you and Abby <3

[Meg_Elizabeth]

Hi everyone. I'm getting discharged home this Tuesday. They said there's only so much you can do to help a brain after its suffered so many injuries.

Abby hasn't had her Cushings medicine since Easter. My parents are going on vacation next week so i guess they don't wanna spend money on her. Do you think not having her meds will really hurt her? I'm worried sick about my poor dog. They're also leaving me alone with her for a week so I pray she's okay and nothing bad happens! My mom casually told me Abby's lump on her stomach area has grown substantially. Is that the tumor on her adrenal? Will that kill her or cause her more pain?

Hope everyone is well. Please let me know if anything is new with you because I've had no time to read the forum or post, I apologize. I miss talking to all of you and can't wait to be home with Abby and posting more.

[Budsters Mom]

Hi Sweetie,

I truly hope you are feeling better and ready to take on the world.:p

I have no way of knowing abut the lump growing on Abby's belly. We were never able to see any actual test results or even an ultrasound that could possibly give us some clues. As far as Abby's Cushing's meds, we would need to know more about her symptoms and without an ACTH test, it's hard to tell whether she needs them and how much. To be fair, many others know much more than I do about this stuff, but we don't have much to go on. I am truly sorry.:o

We are not vets. When is the last time Abby saw one? That's who would have the answers you seek.

Sorry I can't be of more help,

Hugs to both our girls,
Kathy

[doxiesrock912]

I would watch for symptoms Meg and go from there. The lump could be anything. Most dogs get fatty tumors that grow and do nothing. Unless the dog scratches at them or seems bothered by it, the vet just looks at it periodically.

Will your grandmother take you and Abby to the vet while your parents are away?

Im so happy that you're coming home to Abby!!!!!!

[Meg_Elizabeth]

Please pray for Abby

[Squirt's Mom]

What's going on, sweetie?

[Budsters Mom]

Hi Meg,

Did you come home yesterday? Have your folks left on their vacation? Of course, we'll pray for our sweet Abby. Could you tell what's happening with her? Is she eating normally? Are her poops okay? Is she able to get around? Is her tail still wagging? Is she able to rest/sleep, or is she restless unable to settle? You mentioned that she was off the Trilostane since Easter. Is she taking any other medication like Tramadol for pain or still getting shots for arthritis. We are flying blind here. Please provide as much information as you can. We do care about both of you very much.

Big hugs to both our girls,
Kathy

[molly muffin]

How is Abby doing? Hope all is well.

[Meg_Elizabeth]

Abby is dying. She gave me the look tonight after vomiting, peeing, and pooping at once. The "please help me" and let my spirit free look. Pleading, looking to me for mercy. Her back legs gave out. She is breathing heavily, I know she is in severe pain because I can feel her pain. I know what life is like in chronic agony, it's not a life at all. We called the vet, I left multiple messages. But my parents keep saying Abby will be fine. She's not fine. She's not going to be fine. My girl is ready to head to heaven, will happen within a few hours/days. Please pray for us. Please
-Meg

[doxiesrock912]

Meg, could this be Cushings rearing up because Abby hasn't been getting her meds? Please have someone come and stay with you. Maybe your grandmother? Hugs

[Budsters Mom]

Okay Meg. Thanks for explaining. I know that it was hard. You know Abby better than anyone. I do believe that you can feel her pain because I could definitely feel Buddy's and knew that look when I saw it the first time. I am glad that you have contacted the vet and hope they get back to you very soon.

Many prayers headed your way. Abby is almost 16 years old. That is quite old for a dog Abby's size. It is very likely that she waited for you to come home before she flies free. They often do that. Tell her how much you love her and are proud of her. Thank her for being your very best friend for most of you life and let her know it's okay for her to go now. That you'll be okay and will be together again when the time is right. Be brave for her Meg. Our other fur angels will greet her and watch out for her. Her pain and suffering will finally be over.

For now, get her to the vet and take it from there. One step at a time, okay?

[Squirt's Mom]

We are with you and Abby, Meg. Please stay in close touch and let us know what the vet has to say. I know you and Abby have a connection that is not shared between her and your parents. Listen to her, listen to the vet, and know you are not alone.

[Budsters Mom]

You are not alone Meg. You are never alone. We are here. We are always here.;) Reach out. One of us will surface sooner or later to chat with you. You will get through this. We are here to support you and Abby.

Please keep us posted? Have you heard from the vet yet?

[Budsters Mom]

Waiting for word and I'm not good at it!:o..
Tap.. Tap...tap.. tap.. tap...

Please update ASAP!
Kathy

[doxiesrock912]

Meg sweetie, we're worried. Please let us know what is going on. Hugs to you and Abby.

[ShibaMom]

Thinking of you, Meg. I hope you're okay! *hugs*

[Budsters Mom]

Still here Meg.:o

[Budsters Mom]

I received an email from Meg a little while ago. She asked me to pass this message onto all of you and to thank you for your continued prayers and support.

From Meg.....

Abby is still alive. Recovering a bit since I've been nursing her. Parents refusing to put her down but I am determined. She is dying. She wants to be free of pain. I'm sorry I cannot update everyone I'm too overwhelmed with pain and Caring for her. Please share the update and let everyone know I'm so grateful for their well wishes and prayers
-Meg

[doxiesrock912]

Meg, Abby is so lucky to have you!!!!!
Did the vet ever get back to you?

[Budsters Mom]

Hi all,

I just received this email from Meg. I am passing it along to all of you. Please join me in surrounding her and our sweet Abby with our global circle of love.

"We are putting Abby down on Wednesday. Please let our friends know on the forum. I am dying inside and so devastated, but it's the right time and we scheduled it for late in the day. Thank you for caring about us"
-Meghan

[molly muffin]

Oh sweet Abby. So sorry to hear this. She always looks so good in her videos. I am sure it is hard on meg. If it is time though. Then it is time and hopefully they will all be there with Abby saying their last farewells.

What a very long journey she has been on and has come through so much. Both of them.

Hugs

[Squirt's Mom]

Oh Meg, I am so sorry to hear this. Our sweet girl has looked so good and fought so hard against horrible circumstances. I know your heart is breaking. Abby has no idea what tomorrow brings so make today so very special for her. Give her anything she wants to eat, let her sleep when and where she wishes, if she's up to it take her to her favorite places - make memories you can cherish the rest of your life.

We are with you and Abby, Meg. I hope you feel our arms around you, our tears mingling with yours.
Hugs,
Leslie and the gang

[MiamiThom]

So sorry to hear that Meg. I am new here and just starting my journey with my little cocker boy. My heart is heavy for you and Abby and I am part of the circle holding and surrounding you and your baby. I don't know if this is helpful for you or not, but someone shared it with me. I kind of echoes Leslie's suggestion on spoiling her as you approach Wednesday. I hope it helps in some small way ... http://www.robynarouty.com/i-died-today/

[labblab]

Arising this morning with Abby and Meg in my thoughts and my heart. Wishing Abby's spirit a peaceful release when she will be immediately surrounded and welcomed by all our beloved who patiently await her at The Bridge. And wishing Meg strength and comfort from all our family who stand alongside her here. Neither will ever be alone.

[Squirt's Mom]

Holding you and Abby in my heart this morning and always, Meg.


May I Go

Do you think the time is right?
May I say goodbye to pain filled days and endless lonely nights?
I've lived my life and done my best, an example tried to be.
So can I take that step beyond, and set my spirit free?
I didn't want to go at first, I fought with all my might.
But something seems to draw me now to a warm and living light.
I want to go, I really do; it's difficult to stay.
But I will try as best I can to live just one more day.
To give you time to care for me and share your love and fears.
I know you're sad and afraid, because I see your tears.
I'll not be far, I promise that, and hope you'll always know,
That my spirit will be close to you wherever you may go.
Thank you so for loving me. You know I love you too,
And that's why it's hard to say goodbye and end this life with you.
So hold me now just one more time and let me hear you say,
Because you care so much for me, you'll let me go today.

by Susan A. Jackson

[Budsters Mom]

Update...

As of last night, Meg and her family were still on track for today's appointment. :o This does appear to be the day that our sweet Abby will get her wings and fly.

Kathy

[doxiesrock912]

Meg, I know your pain. Abby and you share a bond to cherish forever. She'll be illness free soon sweetie. No more meds either. Until it's your turn to join her, honor her any way you can. Remember the unconditional love. Hugs to both of you.

[Trish]

Any news on Abby? We have seen her rise like the proverbial phoenix a few times so hopefully she has made a positive recovery again! x

[Budsters Mom]

No, nothing yet.:o Meg will let me know as soon as she's able and I'll pass that update on to all of you. She appreciates all of your love and support so very much.

Our sweet Abby has had my heart from the very beginning as I'm sure she's had many of yours.

[Gabriel]

I had to put my Gabriel down on Tuesday so I know how hard it is to go through this.
We are all here to support you.
It takes love and courage to know when to let go and set them free from pain.
I pray for your dog and I asked my dog Gabriel to give all the dogs that have passed over from this forum a big hug. He was always a big cuddly daddy to little dogs :)

[Meg_Elizabeth]

Does the pain ever stop? My heart is broken

[Budsters Mom]

Did you and your family release Abby to fly free on Wednesday?:confused:

If so, your pain is still very raw and yes it hurts. It hurts like hell when you love so much! The pain does get better with time, little by little.

Sweet Abby, thank you for giving me the opportunity to get to know you just a little bit. If you have indeed sprouted your wings and flown, your pain has ended and you are surrounded by many new friends who will watch out for you now.

Thinking of you both,
Kathy

[doxiesrock912]

Meg, over time the pain is much less frequent and the good memories come to mind much more often. How long is different for each one of us.

Know that Abby is pain and illness free. She has many others to play with on the other side of the rainbow bridge.

[Gabriel]

Does the pain ever stop? My heart is broken

I know how you feel.

But I also know that I lost a dog before him so yes the pain will stop being so intense. After about a month it starts to ease. Mainly because that is when they leave the spiritual realm and go on to the next one. You will probably get a feeling that they have moved on or a visitation from them in a dream.
I remember my first dog now only of the good times we had together now - its the ending that hurts most if they were in pain and the missing them.

And if anyone leaves a black towel on the floor I think its him. Those sorts of things never go away but you don't react so bad each time - it's like rough waves coming at you - hitting you hard but then becoming gentler until the waves are just good memories :)

[Meg_Elizabeth]

Abby, my heart is aching because I swore I just heard your bark and for one second thought I had my best friend back. I am so busy during the day that it's hard to feel anything but anxiety and exhaustion. But sitting here, without you, looking at your photo, breaks my heart into pieces and hits me like a brick. The emptiness in my heart is so heavy, the pain is so paralyzingly.

I miss you so badly Abs and wish I had done so many things differently. I'm sorry I didn't take you for more walks. I'm sorry I got mad at you for making me anxious. I'm sorry I let you suffer so long. I'm sorry for not giving you more hugs or tummy rubs when I had the chance. I love you with all my heart and would give anything to have you by my side, healthy, happy, and alert. I hope you're enjoying heaven and playing with all your k9 Cushings friends.

With so much love,
Mommy

[doxiesrock912]

Meg, I know exactly how you feel. The difference between humans and animals is that they're so intune to us. They know that we're not perfect and they love us unconditionally.

They also have an amazing ability to forgive us for being human. While we're beating ourselves up, they've moved onto the next day and love us still.

Abby had no doubt how much you loved her. You gave so much and please remember that.

I am so glad that you were able to come home to her after your treatment and that made her world right again. You were there when it mattered and you shouldered ALL of that without your parents' support so often. Please remember all of the good that you gave to Abby. She does. Hugs.

[Meg_Elizabeth]

Being human is hard, the mistakes and regrets eat me alive. You're so kind and helpful, everything you said hits home, especially when I'm grieving my beautiful Abby. She forgave me over and over again, and I wish more than anything that I could do things differently, but here's hoping that I'll see her again one day. Until then, I'll try to remember the good times I had with my best friend.

[doxiesrock912]

Meg, it's been just over a year since Daisy Mae passed. I have rare moments when something brings on the tears. Honestly. I have many more smiles when I think of her.


Time heals and your perspective changes too. I promise.

[Squirt's Mom]

"Some of you, particularly those who think they have recently lost a dog to ‘death’, don’t really understand this. I’ve had no desire to explain, but won’t be around forever and must.

Dogs never die. They don’t know how to. They get tired, and very old, and their bones hurt. Of course they don’t die. If they did they would not want to always go for a walk, even long after their old bones say: ‘No, no, not a good idea. Let’s not go for a walk.’ Nope, dogs always want to go for a walk. They might get one step before their aging tendons collapse them into a heap on the floor, but that’s what dogs are. They walk.

It’s not that they dislike your company. On the contrary, a walk with you is all there is. Their boss, and the cacophonic symphony of odor that the world is. Cat poop, another dog’s mark, a rotting chicken bone (exultation), and you. That’s what makes their world perfect, and in a perfect world death has no place.

However, dogs get very very sleepy. That’s the thing, you see. They don’t teach you that at the fancy university where they explain about quarks, gluons, and Keynesian economics. They know so much they forget that dogs never die. It’s a shame, really. Dogs have so much to offer and people just talk a lot.

When you think your dog has died, it has just fallen asleep in your heart. And by the way, it is wagging its tail madly, you see, and that’s why your chest hurts so much and you cry all the time. Who would not cry with a happy dog wagging its tail in their chest. Ouch! Wap wap wap wap wap, that hurts. But they only wag when they wake up. That’s when they say: ‘Thanks Boss! Thanks for a warm place to sleep and always next to your heart, the best place.’

When they first fall asleep, they wake up all the time, and that’s why, of course, you cry all the time. Wap, wap, wap. After a while they sleep more. (remember, a dog while is not a human while. You take your dog for walk, it’s a day full of adventure in an hour. Then you come home and it’s a week, well one of your days, but a week, really, before the dog gets another walk. No WONDER they love walks.)

Anyway, like I was saying, they fall asleep in your heart, and when they wake up, they wag their tail. After a few dog years, they sleep for longer naps, and you would too. They were a GOOD DOG all their life, and you both know it. It gets tiring being a good dog all the time, particularly when you get old and your bones hurt and you fall on your face and don’t want to go outside to pee when it is raining but do anyway, because you are a good dog. So understand, after they have been sleeping in your heart, they will sleep longer and longer.

But don’t get fooled. They are not ‘dead.’ There’s no such thing, really. They are sleeping in your heart, and they will wake up, usually when you’re not expecting it. It’s just who they are.

I feel sorry for people who don’t have dogs sleeping in their heart. You’ve missed so much. Excuse me, I have to go cry now.”

[Meg_Elizabeth]

Thank you both. Thank you for calming me, I will try my hardest to follow your footsteps and be strong.

[doxiesrock912]

That was beautiful! ♡♡♡♡♡♡



Meg, don't hold it in. Grief must come out. It's part of the healing process. As we always remember humans who have passed, we also do with pets. The connection with a dog in particular is strong so it hurts a bit differently to lose that unconditional love that always treated us as if we were their whole world.

Take time to grieve, but don't let it consume every waking moment. Find a way to remember the happy times. It helped me to look at pictures of Daisy long before Cushings and reinforced in my mind that she had thousands of happy moments before getting sick.

Maybe volunteering someplace to make a positive difference for other people might help?

Just a few ideas to balance out the sad and happy things.

[Meg_Elizabeth]

Is it wrong to still miss her all the time? Even when I'm playing with the puppy or buying new toys? Abby is always in my thoughts, in my heart, in my soul. It's like a part of me will never be the same. The sobbing and moaning has stopped, now there is a deep, powerful sadness in my heart where she used to be.

I miss you Abs. I'm so sorry xo

[Robert]

No it's not wrong at all. Everyone grieves in their own way. I still think of tommy every day after nearly two years most of the time good now but once a week or so still get tears in my eyes thinking of him.

[Squirt's Mom]

No it's not wrong, honey. In fact it's pretty darn normal. I think I screamed for weeks and weeks after I had to let Squirt go. They would just come rolling up and out of me like the waves of the ocean, bringing me to my knees. She has been gone over a year and I still moan in pain and agony just about every day.

You and I and so many others here will never be the same now that our Soul doggies are gone. We have been changed forever by both their lives and their deaths. We have been touched and touched deeply by the magic of love, and it is a love that few ever know.

The screams, the moans, the hitching sobs, the tears coursing down our faces are tributes to that love, to our babies and the lives we shared with them. They are signs of our deep enduring love. As we heal, those signs become less and less outwardly visible but they will always remain in our Souls because the love we shared with our babies will always remain in our Souls.

And our girls know, Meg, they know that every one of those signs is an expression of how very much we love them still. They know they will always be with us, in us. And they know that one day we will be together again.

[doxiesrock912]

Meg, they'll never leave our hearts.

It's been a year and I still have days of crying. Much farther apart, but I have them.

Yesterday, I was talking with a woman from the state licensing board about the bad mistake that sent Daisy to the hospital. I almost made it through the conversation without my voice cracking and I cried afterward.

Every dog is unique, we love each one for their individuality and special traits. The new puppy will occupy a different place in your heart. Don't be afraid to love again.

I truly believe that our babies would be glad that we're helping another dog, just as we helped them.

[doxiesrock912]

Please share a picture of the puppy. Give him/her as much love as you gave Abby. The puppy can also sense your grief. Be careful with that. Hugs.

[Budsters Mom]

We miss her too Meg. :o.

[doxiesrock912]

How are you Meg?