Lucygoo updates/Lucygoo has passed

[Sabre's Mum]

Wahooo Lucy is famous. I think it is absolutely fantastic that they have developed a drug that can shrink the pituitary tumour. Bring on the trials!!!

All the best to you and Lucy ... I hope she gets her apetite back soon.

Angela and Flynn

[lulusmom]

Gina, there was an article in the Star News last Wednesday.

http://www.pasadenastarnews.com/ci_16451311

The same article was in all of the daily papers owned and published by The Los Angeles Newspaper Group: San Bernardino Sun, Star News, Daily Bulletin, Whittier Daily News, San Gabriel Valley Tribune, Long Beach Press Telegram, Redlands Daily Facts, Torrance Daily Breeze and Los Angeles Daily News. Looks like Lucy got some major coverage.

[lulusmom]

There is only one drug that I have heard of that was proven to shrink pituitary tumors in dogs and that is retinoic acid. According to Dr. Bruyette, it is outrageously expensive, making it cost prohibitive....unless you have a whole lot of money. At 2mg/kg to treat, the cost to treat a dog weighing 20lbs is about $2400 a day. Oh my goodness!

http://endo.endojournals.org/cgi/content/abstract/147/9/4438

[lucygoo]

Hi Glynda...

Thanks....Wow. Well, hopefully this new drug will be a lot more affordable and effective. I'm just so glad they're making other break-throughs from studying Goo's tumor tissue besides just the surgery itself, although that was really something in itself.

Still a little worried about Lucy's appetite, but it seems she's just getting more picky in her old age. She'll eat a hot dog and the treats she likes, but turns her nose up at her food, so I've been switching it up trying to find what Her Highness likes these days. Seems to be Wellness brand stew as of late. I swear I spend more money on food for her that I end up throwing out than I do on myself.

Take care all...

Gina and Lucy

[apollo6]

Dear Gina and Lucy
I am so excited for you. Lucy is not only a star, but a hero.
I have been reading the articles. Looked at the pictures of you brave Lucy. I will be praying for her recovery.
I am so glad to hear there is hope.
Hugs Sonja and Apollo.

[lucygoo]

Hi guys....

Update on Lucy; I'm afraid she's not doing so well. For the past month or so she's getting progressively weaker and shakier in her hind legs and having frequent diarrhea bouts, which seem to take everything out of her. A few times she's just laid down outside and I've had to pick her up and bring her back in. I eventually can get her to take water with Pedialyte in it, and have also used a product called Dogsure, and have been able to get her to eat something after a while. Her eyes seem to also have changed in the past few weeks. They don't seem as bright as they always were, and there's more mucous draining.

I know she doesn't have a lot of time left, and I hope I know when it's the right time to let her go. I'm hoping to bring her in to see Dr. Bruyette on Monday but now I'm wondering how I'm even going to get her in the car.

I guess I just needed to vent....hope all is well with everyone.

Gina and Lucy

[Roxee's Dad]

Dear Gina,
I am so sorry that the Goo girl is not doing so well. I hope and pray it will pass. Keeping everything crossed for our goo girl.

You will know in your heart.

[Harley PoMMom]

Dear Gina,

I, too, am sorry that Lucy is not feeling well. Keeping everything crossed that Dr. B will make our Goo girl feel better. Sending healing thoughts and positive energy your way.

Love and big hugs,
Lori

[Squirt's Mom]

Dear Gina,

Sweet Lucygoo is such a tough girl and has fought through so much already...I hope this is just minor setback for her. Is there an ER she can get to before Mon.? Please let us know how she is doing over the weekend....and how you are doing. I know you will do as you always have done and do all in your power to help our precious Goo. You are such an amazing mom and Lucy is so lucky to have you.

Hugs and belly rubs,
Leslie and the girls - always

[labblab]

Oh Gina, I'm so sorry! I'll be anxiously awaiting your updates.

Marianne

[lucygoo]

Hi guys,

Thanks for all the well wishes. Dr. Bruyette wants me to bring her in Monday morning and leave her there, so we'll see. I've kind of already made a decision that if they find anything I'm not going to subject her to any more surgery. She's so weak now I don't want to put her through that trauma. She had a better day today, actually ate this morning and now I'm giving her a probiotic twice a day so we'll see how that works. I felt what I'm pretty sure is another small mast cell tumor on her neck below her mouth, but I seriously don't think I should do anything to treat it. I don't want to deprive her of treatment but I just don't think it's fair anymore. Ugh, this is so hard. Will post updates Monday when I find out.

Gina and Lucy

[lucygoo]

Hi everyone....

I'm afraid I have bad news to report. They did an ultrasound today because Dr. Bruyette found a mass in Lucy's abdomen and she's got an aggressive cancer in her spleen and involving the blood vessels. I think he also said it was in the pancreas but I'm so upset now I can't remember.

Long story short, she probably has another month, unless she has more bad days than good; then we'll have to make a decision sooner. It's nothing they can operate on and/or do chemo...not that she's strong enough to withstand that anyway. He said she's not in pain but it's just making her feel weak. I thought I was prepared for this but I'm so not. Just wanted to let you all know and to thank you all for your support over these last couple years.

Gina and Goo

[Roxee's Dad]

Oh Gina,
I am so sorry to read this. Every day is a gift and I know you will give her all the love and comfort you possibly can.

My thoughts and prayers are with you and our precious Goo Girl.

[k9diabetes]

I am so very sorry Gina... sending a very gentle hug to both of you.

Natalie

[Bichonluver3]

Dearest Gina,
Sending our love and prayers your way. Lucy is so lucky to have had a wonderful life with an amazing mom. It is so hard for us human parents to realize that we always think of dog years as being human years and they are just not the same. It is the price we pay for the unconditional love we get. Give Lucy a big hug from us and a very looong tummy rub. Please take care of yourself and keep us updated. We are standing beside you.
Love and tight hugs,
Carrol & Chloe

[Sabre's Mum]

Ohh Gina ... I am so sorry to read the latest on Lucy. Hugs to both you and Lucy.

Angela and Flynn

[StarDeb55]

Gina, I'm so very sorry to hear this. I know you will make the time that is left absolutely wonderful for the Goo girl. Both of you will be in my thought & prayers.

Debbie

[gpgscott]

Hi Gina,

I am just seeing this latest news this morning.

I am glad you were able to have a prompt understanding of what you are facing. You two have been through a lot and have given many others hope in difficult situations.

Please continue to let us know how Lucy is doing we all care very much.

Prayers for good days to come.

Scott

[lulusmom]

Gina,

I too am so very sorry to hear this sad news. I know you will enjoy every day you have with the Goo Girl. You are both in my thoughts and prayers.

Glynda

[Casey's Mom]

I am so sorry to hear this Gina - I know you will cherish the Goo girl every minute. She is an amazing girl and her story inspires us all.

Love and hugs,

[lucygoo]

Hi all....

Thank you so much for your thoughts. It really means a lot to me and definitely helps. Spent most of the night crying last night, but Lucy surprised me and started eating like a pig around midnight. She actually ate all her food and some treats that she turned her nose up earlier.

Been doing some reading on Lucy's cancer, hemangiosarcoma, and indeed it is very fast growing and aggressive. What's happening is it bleeds internally, and that makes them very weak. I read eventually a bleed will not stop and they will bleed to death, but one site suggested an ace bandage wrapped tight around the belly area works surprisingly well at stopping the bleeding. So I guess I'll get one of those because I don't want her bleeding to death internally....or do I sound like a nutcase, putting off the inevitable? Also, when she has her "episodes", as I call them, which I've now learned are probably small bleeds, it always happens after she poops. I'm wondering if the act of trying to poop causes it to bleed?

Anyway, if anyone has any knowledge about this type of cancer I'd appreciate any tips on food, etc. Suprisingly she's liking some ID prescription food I have left over if I water it down and nuke it in the microwave. The only other thing different we're doing is increasing prednisone to 20mg every day and keeping with the 1 pepcid a day. I just wish there was something else I could give her to make her a little more comfortable.

Take care, and thanks again,

Gina and Goo

[Franklin'sMum]

Oh Gina,

I'm so sorry for what you and the Goo are now facing. Keeping you both in my thoughts and prayers.

With love, Jane, Franklin and Angel Bailey xxx

[labblab]

Dear Gina, I'm afraid I can't help with any suggestions about Lucy's condition. But you both have my thoughts and my prayers in full force. Words cannot tell you how sorry I am. Please give our Goo some gentle hugs for me, OK?? She is such a sweet, brave girl.

And here's some huge hugs for you, too.
Marianne

[Squirt's Mom]

Prayers, healing white light, hugs and belly rubs all around.

Leslie and the girls - always

[Bichonluver3]

Dearest Gina,
You are always in our thoughts and prayers. Such a great mom and such a sweet baby. God bless.
Love and tight hugs,
Carrol

[Carol G]

Lucygoo and you are in my thoughts and prayers.

Carol

[Squirt's Mom]

Hi sweetie,

Some links to aid in your research:

Information on Canine Hemangiosarcoma and other Cancers

http://www.modianolab.org/cancer/cancer_index.shtml

http://www.modianolab.org/studyInfo/studyInfo_hemangio.shtml

http://caninecancerawareness.org/canine-cancer-diagnosis/hemangiosarcoma

http://www.veterinarypartner.com/Content.plx?P=A&A=1449

[littleone1]

Gina, I'm so sorry to hear what you and Goo are going through. I'm sending positive thoughts and healing prayers.

Hugs,

Terri

[jrepac]

Eh, Gina it's so hard to read this....I hope you are able to make the very best of the time you have with her...


Jeff & Angel Mandy

[lucygoo]

Hi guys....

Lucy had a really good day today. She's alert, eating like a pig, and not shaking in her hind legs at all. I look at her and it's incredulous to me that we have so little time left. For 13 years she's been by my side through everything. I honestly don't know how I'm going to let her go. I'm thinking all kinds of things, like....does she know? Has she been hanging on just for me? Should I have put her through that pituitary surgery in the first place, or was that just selfish of me? Ugh....I know I'm going through some sort of anticipatory grief right now and I'm sorry I'm blabbering, but it helps to have a place to vent. Thanks for listening...

Gina and The Goo

[Bichonluver3]

Dearest Gina,
This must be so hard on you so it is understandable that these thoughts are going through your mind. Try to concentrate on the fact that you have been an amazing mom to Lucy and she feels your love. You did everything right and should have no regrets or second guesses. None of has a crystal ball and, maybe, that is a good thing. I think it is wonderful that Lucy is enjoying these days. Try to enjoy them with her and live each day to the fullest. I am close by, in Rancho Mirage near Palm Springs. If you need anything I am only a drive away. I will send you a PM with my email and phone number. In the meantime, we are all here for you and here is where you should come at any time for any reason. We are standing right beside you.
Love & hugs,
Carrol

[lucygoo]

Thank you Carrol,

It seems to be harder at night for some reason....I just lose it and can't stop crying. When I am able I'll write the story of Lucy and how she came into my life. Thanks again to all of you for your kind words and support

[Bichonluver3]

I think night is the hardest because there are no other distractions. Are you sleeping okay? That is really important. We can't have you getting sick. It is okay to cry. That is expected but please come to us when things are bad (or good) and let us try to help in any small way we can. The shoulders are here are REAL big.
Love,
Carrol

[BestBuddy]

Dear Gina,

I just wanted to let you know I am sending prayers and good energy to you. This is so hard, I am so sorry.

Jenny

[forscooter]

Hi Gina,

I've been checking on you, following bc I care so much for you and Lucy. I thought I should let you know I am here too and sending as much love and peace as I can across the miles. You gave Lucy your heart, made your decisions out of love, and that can never be wrong. Second guessing is so much a part of the human condition, and something I still struggle with....but I always come back to the love. The bottom line to me is always the love. And that, my friend, you have proven to Lucy time and time again.
Savor every moment without the tricks the mind plays on us, when in our hearts there is something so pure, so right, that it can bring us back to the answers we so need.
You did everything out of that place in your heart...Lucy knows this, you know this, we know this.
Know too that there are many arms carrying you through....
Many many hugs and much love,
Beth

[zoesmom]

Gina -

I know your heart is breaking. You have been there for Lucy through thick and thin and she couldn't have asked for more. Then there comes the time when there is no more that we can do for them, other than to love them. It is out of your hands now but you are so in tune with her that you will know when it is time.

I've always been one who prefers to err on the side of caution and felt that if there was any doubt at all about how my dog was feeling, then sooner had to be better than later. I simply could not bear the thought of them suffering one day longer than necessary. As hard as it was at the time, that guided my decisions and made it easier in the long run. Well, not easier . . . it's never easy . . . ever. But it's what we know deep down in our hearts is best because we love them so much. Always, after saying good-bye, it was like a huge weight had been lifted from my heart. The tears still came like a flood but for different reasons.

Maybe I won't explain this quite right but I have to say that the grieving that I went through the last 3 months of Zoe's life was perhaps harder than the grieving that comes afterwards. I don't know why but maybe it's because you are still scared of and anticipating what is to come, knowing that it can't be good . . . and then afterwards, it's like the worst is now behind you and that allows you to move onto a different kind of grief and sadness. It then becomes more of a longing for what you had and an emptiness in the present, but you also realize that you are going to be moving forward from there on out. Sending hugs and prayers for you and Lucy. Sue

[Squirt's Mom]

Hi Gina,

It is human nature to second guess our decisions once they have been made and cannot be retrieved to do over again. Whether is was a decision of action or inaction - in the end, we always wonder, "But, what if...."

When it comes to our babies, parents like you make the right decisions because those decisions are made out of love for them. No one believes for one minute that you decided on the surgery for Goo for your own personal gain - you made that decision on good faith that it would give her a higher quality of life. And it did. You bought her much more time to enjoy her world, her humans and to revel in their love and adoration. What a wonderful gift you gave her...and continue to give her.

And this is all Lucy knows today - that she is loved, adored, and wanted beyond belief. Tomorrow is a concept our babies do not understand or have a need to understand. They blessedly live in the now. I have wondered if this is because perhaps they have a secret knowledge and acceptance of what the ends holds for all of us one day - an end we humans often fear and do all we can to avoid while these "lesser" creatures understand on a primal level the wonder of being unfettered by a physical shell.

Lucy knows you have done and are doing everything you can out of love for her...and that love never fails, Gina, never.

We are here any time you want to talk, honey.
Hugs,
Leslie and the girls - always

[lucygoo]

Thank you all so much. It really helps to hear from people that have gone through this and understand.

I'm trying to enjoy the moments and am so grateful Lucy is feeling good now, and trying not to anticipate and wait with dread for the next episode of weakness. I'm also grateful that of all the cancers she could get, this one causes no pain.

On a funny note, I heard from Cedars recently about that tv interview I did with Lucy. She said they were airing it around the 1st of February (not sure when in LA), and was going to try to e-mail me the clip. I said I really didn't want to know when it was going to air, as it was in the middle of a heat wave, they filmed it outside, and I honestly wished I had a burka to wear that day because I looked like absolute hell. But at least I'll have her on film...maybe there's a way I can edit myself out of it....lol

Thanks again all, and will keep you posted on how the Goo is doing. So far so good and we've had 4 good days in a row...

Gina and Goo

[Bichonluver3]

Gina,
Just checking in to see how you are doing.
Love & Hugs,
Carrol

[lucygoo]

Hi Carrol....thanks for checking in on us.

Lucy is still hanging in. She's still having episodes of weakness but snaps out of it pretty quickly. She has such a strong will to live. Just when I think she can't go on anymore she perks up, starts barking at people outside and wags her tail and begs for food. It's getting tougher for me, of course, but I can't justify putting her down yet just out of convenience for me. Just trying to enjoy each day now.

[addy]

I am so very sorry for what has happened to Lucygoo and what you now must endure.

You have been so brave and strong for her. I read about her surgery and was in awe of how well you handled it all.

Sometimes we are stronger than we think. Sometimes, when we think we can no longer be strong, we rally and carry on. You have been so brave for so long. The anticipatory grief is very hard to go through but it is a stage of grief we experience.

Lucy is living now in the moment and somehow you will live in the moment with her. She will tell you when. You will know.

I can't tell you how many times my litle cat rallied. She was not ready to go. When she was finally ready, I knew.

You have so much to be proud of. Always remember that.

Hugs,
Addy

[Squirt's Mom]

You have so much to be proud of. Always remember that.

Addy has hit the nail on the head. I will add that we are also so very proud of you and sweet Goo.

Hugs,
Leslie and the girls - always

[lucygoo]

I'm struggling now with whether to put Lucy down in the next few days and am looking for opinions. Everyone keeps saying I'll know when it's time, but I don't know. Called Dr. B yesterday and he said to see if she eats. She's eating chicken, with gusto, but she's had increasing difficulty getting up and walking, to the point where yesterday she didn't get up at all. Even when I helped her up she would fight me and just collapse back down. She did get up on her own at around 2:30 this morning to go outside. Once outside she collapsed again. The hardest part is that she is alert and keeps looking around. I think I know it's time but I almost wish she wouldn't eat anything and wouldn't look so damn alert, but it kills me to see her struggle to get up. It's like her legs just won't work anymore. They have someone that can come to the house, which is what I'm going to do I think.

[labblab]

Oh Gina, I am so terribly sorry that you're facing this decision. But nobody in the world knows Lucy better than you do, so I have no doubt that you'll end up making the decision that is the very best for her.

I do have some general thoughts, though, that I will go ahead and share with you since you have asked. I realize that I've often told people the same thing -- that their dogs will let them know when it is time. But even in saying that, I also believe that we have to do our best to interpret signs and signals that may not always be so obvious. From my own dogs, I have now learned how good they are at masking pain until it reaches a breaking point. So in a situation where I knew that my dog was suffering from a terminal illness that had the potential to cause great pain or collapse, my own thought would be to release them before they reached that point of suffering.

This is such a hard call to make. When my Barkis was so ill at the end, my husband and I went back-and-forth for a couple of days. I remember him saying, "How can we put him down while he's still able to stand and walk?" While I was saying, "How can we wait to put him down until he can no longer stand and walk?" It is such a fine line. But in the end, together, we both decided it was time. And I think we took comfort in knowing that we released him at a time when he still retained his dignity. He left this world as the proud dog he had always been throughout his life.

From what I've written, I think you can guess the timing that I'd choose if Lucy were my dog. But that in no way means that I think it is the right choice for you. Because, as I say, nobody in the world knows her better than you. I will support you, Gina, no matter what time frame you decide upon.

Please give her special hugs for me, Gina. And here are some special hugs for you, too, from across the miles.
Marianne

[lucygoo]

Lucygoo....my heart, my goo, passed away at 4 p.m. pacific time. I had to let her go. It was very peaceful but my heart is broken. Just wanted you all to know

[SachiMom]

Gina,

I am so sorry. It is so hard, but again you put her needs first. She will be missed by everyone here. We were all so fortunate to be able to be a part of her pioneering surgery. Thank you Gina for sharing her with us. She leaves a legacy that will benefit so many in the future.

It may be raining here, but her star shines brightly.

Godspeed Lucygoo.

Sending Love and Hugs of comfort to you Gina.
~Mary Ann

[Harley PoMMom]

Oh Gina,

I am so, so sorry for the loss of your sweet Lucygoo. Letting our furbabies go is the hardest decision we have to make but we make this decision from the deep love we have for them in our heart.

My heart is breaking for you, my dear friend, we all loved her too and we love you very much. Please stay with us as we understand what you are going through and we will be here for you, always.

Godspeed Lucygoo.

With Heartfelt Sympathy,
Lori

[bev]

Gina,

I am so very sorry for your loss of Lucy, I have been following your story and my heart is breaking for you. I am praying for you at this awful time. You are enduring pain that I too will one day have to face and made decisions I will have to make and I can't even wrap my mind it all.

I am shedding tears with you.
Beverly

[Sabre's Mum]

Oh Gina ... I am so sorry to hear the latest on Lucygoo. She was a pioneer of the surgery in the US and she will be always famous in my books. You were a wonderful Mum (or Mom as you say) and did truly love and care for her.

Take care and hugs to you
Angela and Flynn

[BestBuddy]

Gina,

So sorry to hear about Lucy. Another angel has their wings.

Jenny

[Roxee's Dad]

Dear Gina,
I am so sorry. My heart is heavy for you and our Goo Girl. Rest in Peace Lucygoo, You are our newest and brightest star in the sky.

[Carol G]

Gina,

I am so sorry for your loss. Just as you've always done, you did what was best for Lucygoo. My thoughts are with you.

Carol

[John II]

Dear Gina,

This news breaks my heart. :(

I am so sorry for the decision you had to make, but you did everything you possibly could have done for her, including releasing her. Please take some comfort in that.

Rest in Peace Lucygoo,

[Truffa's Mom]

Dear Gina, I am truly sorry for the loss, of your Goo, your Lucygoo. My heart is full of sadness and the tears are hard to contain. Now there is another sweet angel at the Rainbow Bridge. I know the pain right now is too raw, but always remember that every decision you took for your Goo was out of your immense love for her. Her peaceful goodbye is another testament of the incredible bond you shared with her.

I’ll be praying for your heart to heal and for you and your family to be surrounded and supported by all the love of the people that got the honor to have met you and your sweet Goo.

My thoughts and prayers are with you, I will be lighting some candles in memory of Lucygoo.

[mytil]

Dearest Gina,

My heart is with you along with my hugs. You made the most unselfish decision and that was to honor her by helping her pass. You have always been there for her and you were there again for her.

(((((((((hugs))))))))))
We will always remember your Goo.
Terry

[littleone1]

Dear Gina,

I am so very sorry. You always did everything you could possibly do for Lucygoo. You did what was best for her. Rest in Peace Goo.

My thoughts and prayers are with you.

[Dollydog]

Gina, I'm so sorry that your Lucygoo has passed....you were an awesome mom to her and no dog could have had a better human to love and care for. That final decision is such a hard one to make....no time is the "right" time....but I believe that our dogs trust us to make the decision at the right time for dog and human.
Please come back to let us know how you're doing and to tell us how she came into your life.
(((HUGS)))
Jo-Ann

[Squirt's Mom]

Dear sweet Gina,

I am so sorry, my heart is just breaking and has been since yesterday when I read your first post. You and Lucy fought such a brave battle, forging the way for others to follow and we have been blessed to be allowed to share in her life.

Today Lucygoo is watching over you; she is now whole and strong once again, running in the sunshine, chasing butterflies and playing with all her new friends - always holding you in her heart with the same tender love you gave to her.

Our thoughts and prayers are with you.

With deepest sympathy,
Leslie, Squirt, Trinket, and our Angels, Ruby and Crystal

[mypuppy]

Dear Gina,
I am saddened for your great loss. God Bless your precious Lucygoo and may you find the strength to get you through this painful moment. Tight hugs. Jeanette

[lulusmom]

Gina,

I am so terribly sorry for your loss. The Goo Girl will always be a star here on the forum and now she's also a star up above shining brightly.

Godspeed sweet Lucygoo.

[bkdice]

Gina - I am so sorry to hear of Lucy's passing. I know your heart is broken. I hope wonderful memories of your girl will help you heal in time.

Sincere condolences... :(

[Casey's Mom]

Gina I am so very sorry for your loss of Lucy. Sweet angel Lucygoo fly free and shine your light down on your mom and all who loved you.

[zoesmom]

Gina - I am so so sorry about Lucygoo. I think she was telling you, as best she could, and I think you listened to your heart and did the absolute right thing for her. Her story touched so many of us here and I know that we all share in your sadness. Sue

[Spiceysmum]

Gina,

So sorry to hear about Lucygoo. It is the hardest decision we have to make but only possible because we love them so much. My thoughts are with you.

Linda

[JHP]

Hi Gina,

I'm so very sorry to read about Lucygoo, you will have your love memorys . someone had a heart made for with blue roses on and a verse that is called STAIRWAY TO HEAVEN made in memory of my pip i hope this helps you as much as its helped me

If tears could build a stairway,
and memories a lane,
I'd walk right up to heaven
and bring you home again.

love Julie

[Wolfpak]

Dear Gina,
Deepest condolences on the loss of your beloved Lucygoo. The loss of a beloved fur-baby is simply devastating.

The poem Julie quoted is so beautiful and true. We treasure their memory and their spirit is alway with us.

This is the inscription on the garden stone in my beloved furbaby's memorial garden,

"I thought of you with love today, but that is nothing new.
I thought about you yesterday and days before that too.

I think of you in silence, I often speak your name.
All I have are memories and your picture in a frame.

Your memory is my keepsake, with which I'll never part.
God has you in His keeping, I have you in my heart."

(((Hugs))) Penny's Mom

[k9diabetes]

Gina... I'm so sorry.

It is so painful to lose them and I know that having fought for one the way you fought for Lucy makes losing her even more excruciating. You build a bond with a dog like Lucy that is so intense.

Bless you for making all the right decisions for Lucy despite the struggle that it meant that you would go through. She was truly beloved.

Natalie

[lucygoo]

Hi all....

Just wanted to thank everyone so much for your heartfelt words. It really helps. The pain is still raw now and I'm sort of physically recovering now. Didn't realize how much I wasn't eating or sleeping for about the past month, and after Lucy passed it hit me like a brick. It's amazing how we can keep going as long as we have to.

When I am able to I want to write a little tribute to my Goo and her story, but I'm just too exhausted right now. I just wanted to let you all know, though, that I really appreciate your thoughts and I have been reading and it's very touching.

Gina

[apollo6]

Gina
I am so sorry to hear about the lose of your beloved Lucygoo. May she finally be free.
Prayers to you
Hugs Sonja and Apollo

[bgdavis]

Gina,

I'm so sorry for your loss of Lucy. I lost a little Eskie, the love of my life, to hemangiosarcoma back in 2004. It is a terrible disease, nearly always fatal.
We can only go one, carrying our love and memories in our hearts, knowing that our 'babies' are in a far better place and that they are waiting for us.

Bonnie and Angel Criss

[lucygoo]

Hi all....

Hope everyone is well. I've been keeping busy working like a maniac but took the day off today and it was really hard. I keep thinking Lucy is still here. I got her ashes today and that was harder than I thought it would be. I still haven't been able to bring myself to even EMPTY HER WATER BOWL! Not to mention her bed in my room with all her babies on it. Trying not to put a time line on things, but is this normal?

[frijole]

Oh yes... you are very normal. I remember the day my dear Haley came back to me in a box. My heart broke all over again. I wasn't ready for it. It took me months to move her things. Take your time and heal in your own way. And come here whenever you want to talk about it.

I want to thank you for sharing your journey with dear Lucy with us. Her story truly is inspirational and she, along with you are pioneers. She is still a hero in my eyes.

I wish I could take away the pain and fill the void.... only time my friend... only time. Huge hugs, Kim

[Buffaloe]

Hi Gina,

I am so sorry you lost your Lucy girl. I know the pain is just to the bone now. For me, there is no pain that matches the pain of losing a dog.

You and Lucy are heroes and trailblazers.

Down the road, I believe you are going to look back and be very thankful for all of the extra, beautiful, quality time you were given with Goo. You know Lucy doesn't want you to be distraught for too long. Like a girl at WalMart told me very matter-a-factly, "all dogs go to heaven."

Ken

[k9diabetes]

It's been two and a half years since Chris passed away and his insulin is still in the refrigerator and a few of his toys in my closet and some of his bowls in a cupboard in the kitchen. Plus his pictures are all over my desk. There's no deadline for any of these things Gina - do what feels right for you.

Natalie

[zoesmom]

Gina - There is no normal when it comes to these things. Like Nat, I still have all of Zoe's medicines in my pantry and her bottle of anti-seizure meds in my frig. And we've moved in the interim! Her two favorite stuffed animals are in a wooden box in the LR. I take them out and let Cooky sniff them, but cannot bring myself to let her play with them. And it'll be a year next week. So whatever feels right for you IS right for you. The tears decrease over time, but I still go thru spells where they will come several days in a row, and then I'm ok for awhile.

You are in the very early stages of grieving and, IMO, I say let the tears flow whenever they want to. I found it very therapeutic with Zoe (and with KC before her) to get a journal and write down all of those special things that they did - good or bad or funny OR just plain quirky. One time incidents, habitual things, memories of their early days and their later ones. physical characteristics (like I wrote of how sweetly Zoe's tail curled to the left and how I grew to 'love' that huge melon sized lipoma on her left side, even though it made her look lop-sided). Write down all of your memories . . . everything. And keep the journal close at hand for awhile because sometimes you'll be doing something and, seemingly out of the blue, you'll remember something that you forgot to write down. Here it is, 11 years later, and I still get out KC's journal every now and then ..... sure, I read it and weep - but now it brings way more SMILEs than tears. Plus, I jotted down things in KC's journal that I know I would've forgotten by now - if I hadn't put them in writing. It really does help....... Sue

[jrepac]

Hi Gina,

I've been away from the board for a bit and just came back to read this; so sorry to hear about Lucy Goo's passing. We all know you fought real hard for her.

There is no "timetable" in terms of grieving; there are still moments when I get choked up and it's been 4 months now. It's going to take some time for you to adjust and things will never quite be the same.

I still have not removed all of my Mandy's things; her coats, leash and harness are still where they have always been. I don't know why it's so hard to do this last task, but it just is. Her urn is in my bedroom and I talk to her every now and then...usually about Pebbles (my new puppy)...I like to think she's watching over things :)

You'll take care of things when it feels right to do so.

Jeff & Angel Mandy

[clydetheboosmom]

I am so sorry to hear about Lucygoo. Please feel me hugging you.

Lynne, Bailey and Angel Clyde

[Franklin'sMum]

Gina,

I'm so sorry for the devastating loss of your Lucy. She was and always will be an inspiration to us all, as are you. Grief has no timeframe, whatever gets you through one moment to the next, to the next, and the moment after that is completely individual.
There is no doubt in my mind that the Goo is watching over you.

Much love and many hugs,
Jane, Franklin and Angel Bailey xxx

[Squirt's Mom]

Dear Gina,

You and Goo have been on my mind and I hope you are finding the days a bit easier to face.

Many hugs,
Leslie and the gang

[Bailey's Mom]

Hi Gina-
I am so sorry to learn that you had to release Lucy Goo.
I can echo the "There is no timetable" sentiment. It's been just over 6 months since Palmer was released and just yesterday, while only half awake, I know I felt him up against my tummy. I don't cry as much now, but it still comes. I told my son last night when he asked if I was getting excited about Bailey that, yes I was very excited, but at the same time I was sad. It points out how Palmer is not here....and I still miss him so very much.
You did all and more of what could be done for Lucy. Have peace and trust your body to let you know what you need. After Palmer had been gone for about 6 weeks and when everybody was out of the house, I buried my head in a pillow and cried and cried and sobbed. I tried to let whatever was in there come out. I found it helpful.
My thoughts are with you.
-Susan

[ktzndgs]

Gina,

My Newf Macy also had a very large macroadenoma and had surgery but days after surgery she died after I brought her home. I'd love to "chat" with you about the symptoms you saw before the macro was finally diagnosed and would very much like to discuss your journey to diagnosis (misdiagnosis, tests, meds). Please get in touch.

Kathy

[lucygoo]

Hi Kathy.....Sorry it's taken me so long to get back to you. I got a message from Glynda but have been so crazy busy and stressed I haven't been able to respond...I feel like a shmuck! Anyway, sent you a private message reply and feel free to contact me any time.

Hope all is well with everyone. I'm doing better, time does help, but I still have "guilt" dreams about Lucy and cry unexpectedly. I miss her so much. And sometimes right before I walk through the door after being away, I still expect her to be there. I've had fleeting thoughts of getting another dog but just can't do it yet. The last few years with her were so taxing on me I had no idea, but I wouldn't take it back for anything. She was the most human, intelligent dog I've ever had, and I'm quite sure no other dog can ever replace her. My Goo!

Take care all,
Gina (and Goo up there somewhere)

[Squirt's Mom]

Hi Gina,

SO good to hear from you again!

You are doing just fine, honey. You invested so much of yourself in Lucy you are supposed to feel lost, at loose ends. It's almost like losing a limb...that phantom presence remains forever. The difference is that Lucy loves you so very much and misses you just as much as you miss her.

I'm sorry, but you don't have any right to feel guilty, tho. My god, the lengths you went to for her; everything you did, you did for her good; you and Lucy walked into unknown territory and showed the rest of the world what is possible. You not only gave your all to Lucy, you gave more than you can to the rest of us...you gave us hope. Hope that one day these terrible tumors can be eradicated.

Gina, you don't have to grieve alone. We are here anytime you wish to talk. Take your time, be good to yourself - you deserve it! - and know you have many here who understand your pain and are more than willing to hold your hand.

When you are ready, that baby will appear and you will know it is time to love again. When that day does come, we will rejoice with you, too.

Hugs,
Leslie and the gang

[Bailey's Mom]

Hi Gina-
I just want to add "ditto" to what Leslie said.
Goo is up "there" romping and stomping with all her four legged friends. As soon as she sees you, she will come bounding in your arms. Try to remember the warm times, the good times. Goo would not want you to be upset.
-Susan

[lucygoo]

Hi everyone:) Hope all is well with you guys.....I'm doing okay, still haven't been able to get a new dog yet, but I'm getting there...perusing craigslist ads, etc.....I really miss having a dog but want to wait at least until after the holidays.

Have a question concerning my sister's dog. He's a big boy, some kind of hound, queens something breed mix (forgot the name of it). Saw him last night and was rather disturbed....He's grossly overweight (been on prednisone for years for continuing ear/allergy problems)....bright red eyes, and lethargic, but still eating. This morning my sister called me in a panic....Dino (his name) has not eaten or barely moved. I told her to give him bacon, which he eventually had a little, and to give him chicken, and Pepcid (since he's been on prednisone so long) Now she tells me he just walks into places he never goes, corners, etc., and just stares at the wall. To me this sounded like Lucy with her macrotumor but he's never been diagnosed with Cushings. He's about 11ish. Any thoughts or ideas?She's bringing him to the vet tomorrow, but I'm thinking maybe kidney failure....I don't know. Any advice, input would be appreciated.

Thanks:) Gina

[StarDeb55]

Gina, it's so nice to hear from you! When the time & the pup is right, you will know. I lasted 3 months after Harley passed before I brought Obi home.

After I read about your sister's pup, my first 2 thoughts are his eyes, cataracts, or some other reason for blindness that he is getting disoriented to a degree in places that are familiar. Chewy is now totally blind, & does really well overall in his home, but there are times when he gets himself stuck in a corner or behind a piece of furniture & has absolutely no idea where he is.

The other thought is canine cognitive disorder. If it is CCD, anipryl is used for that, & it may be helpful with some of the symptoms.


Debbie

[lucygoo]

Hi Debbie!

Thanks so much for replying:)

I should have communicated better. Dino's actual eyes are not read, it's more the immediate area around his eyes that are red, like the conjuntiva...particularly around the bottom. His eyesight is okay but he's completely deaf now...has been that way for about 6 months now I think. Other than that has just been slowly declining....seems every time I see him he looks worse.

Anyway, hope all is well with you and your new baby! I can't wait to get one of my own again....at least I have the itch now..lol