Daisy Mae - our sweet Daisy has crossed The Bridge [Archive] - Page 9 - Canine Cushing's Information and Support Forums

My sweet Ginger

06-12-2014, 07:48 AM

It sounds to me that they are afraid of you and worried about what you might do. They don't quite know how to deal with you yet as they don't want anything they say now will come back and bite them later. Right now your presence creates quite an uncomfortable air in that place and you know that tells you a lot.
Keep your cool and document or record every communication and every conversation in detail. Documentation matters in court.
Watching too many episodes of Judge Judy.:o

Valerie, I'm thinking of you and sweet Daisy everyday and the love you two shared was so special and so beautiful. I so wish Daisy's life came to an end under different circumstance maybe then our hearts wouldn't be breaking like this. It hurts so much for you and Daisy.
Please, take comfort in knowing that you did everything you could and she got the very best care available for her. You are not a vet and you trusted your vet. He should've known better, not you Valerie so don't put any blame on yourself. I hope there will be some kind of resolve between you and the vet soon. Take care of yourself. Many hugs to you and the newest and littlest angel Daisy. Song.

Woodydog

06-12-2014, 12:10 PM

Valerie

Yes I lite a candle for your baby. Sending you strength with the vets. Xx

doxiesrock912

06-12-2014, 03:05 PM

Hugs.
I went retrieved Daisy's records. Reading through, it is obvious that he know of her existing health issues and took the chance when giving her 2 shots that both have the same adverse reactions. He was in surgery so did not come out to talk.

His office manager was at least sympathetic today and said that Dr. Kimm is going to call me. I offered to come in person to talk if that's more convenient.

We'll see.

Thank you all who lit candles. Patti, I wish that I had seen yours. I missed it since they blow out after 48 hours.
Thank you Tract. What you wrote was sweet <3

The way that she died is killing me. In part, I do blame myself for being so trusting but at the moment researching medication was not on my mind since I trusted what the vet was saying.

Chris didn't sleep either. This is obviously bothering him more than he's letting me see. He texted me at 4:45am after getting the email that I sent inviting him to see Daisy's candles.

goldengirl88

06-12-2014, 03:10 PM

Valerie:
I hope for your sake that he does call and talk to you and that they are just not putting you off. I think you will feel better if you make your concerns known to him and are able to see what he feels about it. Blessings
Patti

doxiesrock912

06-12-2014, 08:39 PM

Patti,

I'm going to send everything off to my uncle and see what he says.

doxiesrock912

06-12-2014, 08:53 PM

Best dog sitter EVER!!!!

http://blog.petflow.com/my-dog-sitter-filmed-this-while-i-was-on-vacation/?utm_source=fbrescuesitter&utm_medium=Facebook&utm_campaign=sitter

jxeno13

06-12-2014, 10:42 PM

Valerie,

That was so cute! :D Thanks for sharing that!! I wish I could find a sitter like that!!

doxiesrock912

06-13-2014, 12:29 AM

It made me smile. Too many of us need that lately.

gatorgirl_bama

06-13-2014, 07:41 AM

That was so cute. Just checking in to see how you're doing.

Sending love and prayers.
Donna

goldengirl88

06-13-2014, 07:46 AM

Valerie:
I am so glad something brought a smile to you. Wow what a wonderful dog sitter. All mine does is watch tv. I know because I have a mommy cam. Did you ever think I would fully trust someone with my Tipper??? Blessings
Patti

doxiesrock912

06-13-2014, 11:07 AM

I'd have a nannycam too.
Still waiting for Dr. Kimm to call. Thinking it's not going to happen.

goldengirl88

06-13-2014, 01:04 PM

Valerie:
You can't trust anyone and I will not have someone abusing my dog, I would flip out, it would be on the evening news. I guess you are not going to get that phone call?? Blessings
Patti

doxiesrock912

06-13-2014, 03:29 PM

Patti, I wouldn't go away if dad wasn't able to critter sit.
Nope.

Yeah, I guess not so I'll send everything off to my uncle and see what he says.

I've given him every opportunity to talk with me so what happens from this point on will be his problem.
Uncle John is a smart cookie. He'll advise me well.

Pouring rain. I'm at the house in West Haven polishing floors that I told Chris really need to be refinished and guess what? They look worse than ever.

molly muffin

06-13-2014, 11:37 PM

Great Video Valerie! Love that. I have a few trust issues when it comes to anyone staying with molly or her going to their place too. That is probably true for most of us.

Totally possible that he just doesn't know what to say to you (the vet). Although postponing just makes everything worse.

Hang in there
hugs
Sharlene and molly muffin

doxiesrock912

06-14-2014, 03:40 AM

He's been a vet for 35+ years. Im sure that he knows how to talk with grieving family members. I would hope so anyway.

I treated myself to a Tiffany key in honor of my sweet Daisy Mae. It should be here on Monday and I'll post pictures.

goldengirl88

06-14-2014, 07:41 AM

Valerie:
Nice treat! Can't wait to see the pic. I think you are experiencing avoidance. Dr. Kimm just does not want to handle the situation so I think all you are going to get from there is the records you already got. I am so disappointed that your did not receive any condolence card since you have been taking Daisy there for a long time. I hope you enjoy a wonderful day with your father tomorrow. Blessings
Patti

molly muffin

06-14-2014, 10:00 AM

What a nice treat Valerie. Are you having her name inscribed on it?

Well, 35 plus years, yea you'd think he'd know how to do condolence discussions.

Big hugs,
Sharlene and molly muffin

goldengirl88

06-14-2014, 11:27 AM

Valerie:
Is it the diamond one or the one you can have engraved? Either way you deserve it. Have a good weekend with your dad. Blessings
Patti

doxiesrock912

06-14-2014, 12:37 PM

The one with the diamond Patti.

I know! Our 2 cats and dad's cat see him too. That's going to change.

goldengirl88

06-14-2014, 01:13 PM

Valerie:
I guess that call is not happening so maybe he is just letting you do whatever it is you are going to do about this and he is not saying a peep. Are you at your dad's or at the other house? Tipper is watching 4 blue jays beat up one poor starling. She looks like she wants to jump in and beat them all up! I am worried about Tipper getting these lumps off since her skin is so paper thin, I am afraid of it starting something bad. I am just plain scared to put her under for any reason. Can't seem to get it off my mind. Wish my dad was here for tomorrow. His favorite thing was lobster and I would always go get him a few and cook them. Blessings
Patti

Trish

06-14-2014, 05:23 PM

Hi Valerie, love the video of the pet sitter! So cute and heartwarming, that dog had a fantastic time :) Hope your doing OK xx

doxiesrock912

06-14-2014, 11:32 PM

Blue jays are as nasty as they are beautiful. Let Tipper chase them away :)
I've been so busy with the new house, running back and forth between the two that I haven't had time to send the paperwork off to my uncle. On the list of things to do tomorrow.

I will pursue this soon though.

We went out looking for paint tonight and ended up getting furniture instead.
Offset at the top of the stairs there is an inlet with a wall light and bright sunny window. I thought that it would make a perfect reading nook. We found this chair tonight. It's a richer purple than the picture shows. https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=808216895863909&l=0cb3ba7aab

Trish

06-15-2014, 12:08 AM

HI Valerie

Good you are keeping yourself busy, good to have a project to occupy you at a time like this. Hope your sleeping better xx

molly muffin

06-15-2014, 12:42 AM

That is a lovely chair. I could totally see myself curled up with a book in it on a lazy afternoon. Probably wouldn't be able to get me out of it. :)

Glad you are staying busy.

hugs
sharlene and molly muffin

doxiesrock912

06-15-2014, 01:23 AM

Not sleeping much better. Gracie and Annie have been needy kitties and both joined me in bed this morning. They clearly miss Daisy Mae too.

I am so looking forward to using that chair and reading my Kindle. Very much overdue for a relaxing night with a book.

Daisy didn't have the chance to explore the new house. That makes Chris and I sad. The layout downstairs is conducive to dogs and cats racing around.

Tina

06-15-2014, 01:39 AM

Valerie,
I love that chair, it is gorgeous. Of course purple is my favorite color so I would definitely like it. It looks very comfy.

I'm sorry to read that you're still not sleeping well. Grief really takes a toll on your sleep, it's tough to get your mind to shut off.

Thanks for sharing that video about the pet sitter, it was so cute.

goldengirl88

06-15-2014, 07:35 AM

Hi Valerie:
So sorry you are not sleeping well. I was up half the nite too, hard to turn your mind off when you want to sleep. I t just keeps on going no matter what. I can see you sitting in the chair now reading away. It is very sad that Daisy never made it to the new house to explore and have fun. I think of you both and still keep you and Daisy Mae in my prayers. I hope you have a wonderful fathers day with your dad. Consider that a blessing.
Patti

doxiesrock912

06-15-2014, 06:15 PM

I know and ironically, we were at the new house when Cornell called me to tell me that Daisy had crashed suddenly and I had to decide on whether or not they continue CPR. :(

Part of me wishes that we could buy a different house now. We're finding SO MUCH wrong that the home inspectors didn't catch.

We took dad to J. Timothy's for Father's Day. He wore a suit and tie :)

goldengirl88

06-15-2014, 07:25 PM

Valerie:
It sounds like your dad went all out for today. I am happy you could take him some where that made him want to dress up for you. Hope you all had a very nice time. Are Chris's parents alive? I know what you mean about wanting a new house, with all that has gone on I understand. When do you think the house will be ready to move into? Does Chris live in it now? The home inspector has insurance, have you notified him of your findings? I hope you are resting and taking care of Valerie?? Blessings
Patti

doxiesrock912

06-16-2014, 12:51 AM

Chris has to be out of the house in Cos Cob by the first of July whether or not the house is ready. The next couple of weeks will be terribly busy.

gatorgirl_bama

06-16-2014, 07:14 AM

Valerie,

I love that chair and purple has always been my favorite color too.

Sending love and prayers,
Donna

goldengirl88

06-16-2014, 07:52 AM

Hi Valerie:
Hope you had a good weekend. I can certainly understand you have a lot to do at the new house, so you will be very busy before July 1st. indeed. Hope you are fitting some rest into your schedule. Would your dad want to help out at the new house? Might keep him busy for a while. Have you taken the cats there yet? Thunderstorms today again!! Blessings
Patti

doxiesrock912

06-16-2014, 07:26 PM

Patti, I'd welcome a thunder storm right now - it's been so miserably hot these past few days. There isn't much that dad can do unfortunately. He said that he's going to build me a corner hutch :) I know that he can mentally do it, not sure about the physical aspect though. I've always loved corner hutches.

Daisy's collage is posted under the "those who have left us in 2014" so please visit there. Going to Petsmart today and only picking up cat supplies was hard :(

molly muffin

06-16-2014, 07:29 PM

The collage is beautiful Valerie.

hugs
Sharlene and molly muffin

doxiesrock912

06-16-2014, 07:30 PM

Thank you Sharlene. I just couldn't decide on one picture.

addy

06-16-2014, 07:31 PM

Love the chair, Val. It may be a blessing you are so busy with the house.

(((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))))0

doxiesrock912

06-16-2014, 07:33 PM

Much too busy Addy and no one in the family has even offered to help and they won't. Dad would if he could, but he can't and I wouldn't let him.

Hugs.

addy

06-16-2014, 08:35 PM

I know it makes you feel badly; we go through the same thing here. Sometimes we have to ask for help. I know I have trouble doing that, so I usually wont.:o:o:rolleyes:

Do as much as you can and you will finish once moved in. Heck, I spent a whole year painting woodwork after we bought this place. You get used to it, living in a bit of chaos for awhile.:):):)

15 years later and we are still "fixing":D:D:D:D:D

molly muffin

06-16-2014, 08:39 PM

We're still fixing and tweaking too. :)

hugs
Sharlene and molly muffin

doxiesrock912

06-16-2014, 09:12 PM

The problem is that the relatives of the man who lived in this house were supposed to empty it and they did not. So, before we can do anything we have to find places for all of this stuff and rent a dumpster because there is so much that isn't usable.

The amount of porn (according to Chris, he got rid of it so that I wouldn't have to see it) was astounding. Chris is not a prude and it disgusted him.

We don't have the money to keep the apartment for another month so we have 2 weeks to do it all with no help.

beaglemom3

06-16-2014, 10:07 PM

Visited Daisy earleir today and she was alert but clearly not feeling well and wouldn't eat at all for me.

Cornell just called saying the she just crashed. They're doing CPR but suggest that it not be continued. We're 40 minutes away so won't be there on time but she tried so very hard and I'll always love her even more for trying.

Rest peacefully my sweetest companion. You will forever hold a special place in my soul.

My only regret is that I wasn't there when it happened.

Dear Valerie,
I am so sorry to hear this, my heart breaks for you. You are in my thoughts and prayers. HUGS!

doxiesrock912

06-17-2014, 12:41 AM

Thank you Vicki.

goldengirl88

06-17-2014, 07:38 AM

Valerie:
I know you have a terrible job ahead of you. If the house was not cleaned out like it was supposed to be call the real estate that sold you the house. They should have made sure all this was gone, and it will be their responsibility to get someone to remove it. I know this was my job for many years. This is not the buyers responsibility. I don't know how you are going to get any rest with a deadline and all that stuff, but maybe it I better if you are busy right now, as it gives you less time to think of your loss. Blessings
Patti

doxiesrock912

06-17-2014, 12:14 PM

This whole process was a mess.
When we first made an offer, the man was living there and his POA (a volunteer from the VA) would come 3 or 4 times a week to do things for him. That went to everyday and then he fell and couldn't return home.

We agreed to clean out the house IF we got to keep the piano and a gorgeous free standing mirror. The night before the closing, one of his nieces came and took both of those items. Of course, no one knows how to contact her! Paul, the previous owner, is now in a mental Ward at a hospital and will go to the VA nursing home from there.

He had a reverse mortgage that was maxed out and the POA got the bank to agree on a short sale which they gave us first crack at. Chris got the house for $175,000 which is crazy cheap for that area. The taxes will be more than the mortgage.

So there you have it.

When all is fixed, the house will be beautiful.

goldengirl88

06-17-2014, 02:25 PM

Valerie:
I see what you are saying. Wow what a nasty thing to take that mirror and piano you were promised. I hope you have some fans or an air conditioner to have on while you do all this work. I hope you have enough time to do all this. Short sales are great for some properties, especially what you described. Wish I was closer, I would help some how. Blessings
Patti

apollo6

06-17-2014, 04:42 PM

Dear Valerie
Forgive me for not sending condolences on the lose of your sweet Daisy Mae.
"HOW GOD MADE THE DACHSHUNDS"
God made the little Dachsie to brighten up our day-
He took a bit of sunshine- Laughter, love, and play-
and rolled it up in a sausage shape just right for a hug,
with bright eyes full of mischief set in its little mug.
With little paws a pattering, to take it here and there-and a cold wet nose –
but then He thought, "Oh, what about the hair?
Shall I make it long and silky, or wiry, that's so sweet,
or make it simple, and have it smooth and satiny and neat?
And what about the color - how can I pick just one?
Shall it be Black, or Red or Brown or Dappled, just for fun?
He pondered while He made the world,
And all the creatures great and small-
And then the answer came to Him- "OF COURSE! I'LL MAKE THEM ALL!!
So remember that a Dachshund is special, from above-
His coat of many colors is a sign of God's Great Love.

I agree with everyone else to pursue this matter. It sounds similar to Apollo. Once the dermatologist put him on Ivermectin, and Advantage plus for his skin infections, I read it can cause liaisons in the intestines. Like Daisy Mae, Apollo had a very sensitive stomach. He got worse, throw up and had poor stools. etc.
Once again forgive me for not posting sooner.
Hugs Sonja and Angel Apollo.

doxiesrock912

06-17-2014, 05:18 PM

Sonja, you've been going through a difficult time too so there is nothing to be forgiven for. I am absolutely going to pursue this matter once things calm down for me a bit. we each grieve differently and work through grief at our own pace.

You don't owe me an apology and I'm sure that our situations being similar, this has brought up all of the hurt again for you and I'm so sorry for that. Hugs.

LOVE that poem! It's beautiful! I am sharing it on Facebook and giving you credit. It's perfect <3
Did you write this poem?

Patti, you have enough on your plate and I wouldn't ask you to help for that reason alone. Tomorrow is going to be a VERY long day!

gatorgirl_bama

06-18-2014, 07:29 AM

Just thinking about you...

goldengirl88

06-18-2014, 03:07 PM

Hi Valerie:
I am hoping you found a cool spot in the house to work in today.not is unbearable here. Way too humid for me to breathe. We were at the vets today and sent ofver all the operation stuff, and she got her Adequan. The ride there was horrible and the roads were like lakes. Just wanted to let you know Daisy's collage was beautiful. Blessings
Patti

doxiesrock912

06-18-2014, 11:55 PM

Still missing my Daisy Mae. <3

I spent the entire day at the house today working on floors. ONE fan, no AC. It was miserable. I don't know how we're going to do all of this either.

gatorgirl_bama

06-19-2014, 07:26 AM

Morning Valerie.

That's absurd to have to clean someone else's stuff out. I bet the crazy niece just went in an took what she wanted knowing the uncle would never find out about it. Took some nerve to do that on her part.

Call all your friends and family for a cleaning party and offer to have a cookout or cook-in at the house when y'all finally move in as repayment for the help! I know all of us Cush moms and dads would help if we were closer.

Did you say "NO AC"? Does the house not have ac? I couldn't live without air conditioning. Too hot and humid around here.

Sending some love to you and Angel Daisy.
Donna

goldengirl88

06-19-2014, 08:23 AM

Valerie:
You are going to need Chris to take you on a relaxing vacation after all this, where you can be pampered at a spa! It must have been miserable with no ac. That does make things tuff. I think Donna's idea is great, have a cleaning party! You are racing against the clock now, I wish I was there to help you thru this. Blessings
Patti

doxiesrock912

06-19-2014, 10:19 PM

Spent a few hours at the house again today. Moving things from the dining room to the small, back room off of the kitchen.

Chris has taken a few days off here and there but other than that, he comes after work. Tomorrow, I'll be spending the day washing as many walls as I can in that place. Being that I had no part in the decision to buy this particular house, yet I am spending SO much time there - it is taking it's toll.

Chris is already complaining that he has no more money to put into the house at all and the kitchen needs to be gutted and the bathroom is usable but not without issues. ALL of the wood floors need sanding, staining, and polyurithaned.

I have a friend who knows how to do this and is willing to help, but it is a two week process. Not enough time now.

I'm going to stay with my father for as long as I can. I can't live like that and we don't even know if the walls are insulated!!!!!!

Chris bit off more than he can chew and didn't consult me at all. In my mind, this is a major purchase for a couple and I should've had some input.

doxiesrock912

06-19-2014, 10:21 PM

We went out to dinner with dad and he had pizza.
My mind thought "save some crust for Daisy Mae" and I almost lost it in the restaurant. I lost it while driving home instead.

Miss you tons Daisy Mae. <3

molly muffin

06-19-2014, 10:28 PM

It sounds like everything is just a bit overwhelming for you right now. The house, losing Daisy, it just all seemed to happen at the same time and with the house being so much work, it's a lot for you to handle. No wonder you're feeling frazzled and over whelmed. I would too.

Sending you big hugs
Sharlene and molly muffin

doxiesrock912

06-19-2014, 11:41 PM

You're absolutely correct Sharlene.
Chris and I had a long talk tonight. I'll do what I can, but I can't promise that his house will be ready to move in on July 1st and that's all that I can do.
His taking one week off to move is not enough.

doxiesrock912

06-20-2014, 01:43 AM

Sharing a video with all of you. Some absolutely need the laugh as I do.

http://blog.theanimalrescuesite.com/dogbath/?utm_source=social&utm_medium=dogbathtest&utm_term=20140619&utm_campaign=6

Daisy tolerated baths. AFterward, we could tell that she felt so much better being clean.

goldengirl88

06-20-2014, 08:19 AM

Hi Valerie:
I think Sharlene is right you are overwhelmed with everything that has happened to you. It sounds like Chris did not think it thru with all the repairs this house needs. There are some things that you can live in the house and work on. Floors is not one I would recommend unless you are ready to have to re-clean everything you have cleaned as even though they have machines that say no dust, it I not true. The kitchen sounds workable. If there is no insulation in the walls you can aren't a machine from Home Depot to blow in insulation. You have to cut some round holes in the walls and blow it in, so that is not too bad, but you have to patch then. I just hope the larger things like the furnace and plumbing are ok. Have you put the furnace on to try it. Now is the best time to do it believe it or not. I hope there is no asbestos in this house as that is really expensive to remove. I hope Chris does not make any more decisions without you. I think you have a lot on your mind and this is certainly not helping matters that you have to work your brains out in this house you never chose. I hope things get better. Blessings
Patti

apollo6

06-20-2014, 12:25 PM

Dear Valeria
Take care of yourself. When you are grieving everything is twice as hard to deal with. The house sounds like too much of a project for you right now. Because of the love you had for Daisy Mae, everything will remind you of her. When Apollo died,I cried endlessly every day for a long time. The nights were the worst. Almost two years and I will always miss him. So just go with your feelings ,don't listen to what people say. We all grieve differently.
Hugs Sonja and Angel Apollo
Picture Daisy Mae and Apollo playing together.
If and when you do get another little Angel, no they will never replace Daisy Mae,she was one of a kind,special,sweet and loving. Each has their own personality,but we all have our one and only and Apollo was mine.

doxiesrock912

06-21-2014, 01:59 AM

Cornell sent these to me.
The staff there really fell in love with Daisy's sweet nature.

Alex, one of the techs, commented on a conversation that she had with one of the nurses about how sweet Daisy was - Alex remarked that she was "until you tried to take her temperature".

I said "can you blame her?"

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=812459642106301&l=a806c08322

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=812459638772968&l=52b3a76da5

goldengirl88

06-21-2014, 07:38 AM

Valerie:
I tired the links and it said they are currently unavailable. I will try later. I hope all is well and you are not working yourself to death. How is your dad handling you being gone? Do you have the kitties with dad? Hoping you get a good rest after all this is done, I am worried about you. Blessings
Patti

gatorgirl_bama

06-21-2014, 08:03 AM

I couldn't open the link either.

I bet Chris won't make any more big decisions without your input ever again. That's one thing Sammy doesn't do, pick out our homes. Vehicles either. I buy everything and tell him when to come sign! That's just how it has to be.

Honey, many times in many restaurants, many stores, parking lots, it doesn't matter where, I've lost it and cried like a baby. Sammy is used to it by now. It's been almost 11 months for Tia and I still cry as if it were yesterday. Daisy was a huge part of your family and it's going to happen.

We went to a flea market one Saturday and Sammy went to the outside part while I looked through the inside. I finished up and went out to look for him and the first slot I went to, of course, they had a little shih tzu girl named Graceland. She was the sweetest little thing and kept trying to get me to take her. And of course, I was crying. The lady said, you're Donna aren't you. Surprised I said yes and she said your husband said you'd cry. He knows me well and of course, I'm crying now!

Please take care of you. If the house isn't ready, Chris will have to deal with it. You need to think about yourself. You've been through an ordeal that takes a while to get through. Time to bounce back to your somewhat normal self.

Sending love and prayers,
Donna

doxiesrock912

06-21-2014, 12:27 PM

Spent much of yesterday at the house. Washing walls. The prior owner was a heavy smoker at some point. We didn't smell it thank God, but the ceilings were disgusting!!!

I am still very angry at Chris and it's making me doubt our relationship sadly. I don't want to be part of a couple where decisions are made for me. When things calm does, we're going to have a long talk.

Dad is not handling things well. He bought a boat on impulse and said that he bought a new vehicle while I was gone yesterday! I don't know if he really did though.

Chris has enough money to redo the roof of the house, but so much more needs to be done. Part of the yard needs regrading to prevent the basement from flooding. Of course, he wants everything in its proper place by Tuesday {move in day).
I told him that none of my things are going in a damp basement. I've spent too much money to have them ruined. The kitchen and upstairs bathroom need redoing. Chris has a 5 year plan. We're not getting any younger here. Floors all need to Bo sanded, restained, and polyurethaned.

I feel like once again, my needs are last because of someone else. It took a long time to grieve when my mother passed away because I was the primary person who brought dad through his cancer treatments and stayed on top of the nursing homes when he was in them. Now this, all during Daisy's illness.

In part, I feel like I cheated her during the time that she needed me most and she gave up. I should"be been with her several visits every day. Not just one or two. This will stay with me forever.

Daisy Mae, I hope that you know how much I really love you. ♡
I look around a new house that you didn't have a chance to explore and I don't want to be there anymore. I want to stay at Papa's where you lived your life with our family.

apollo6

06-21-2014, 01:28 PM

Dear Valeria
Your story is so similar to mines. It sounds like Daisy Mae has made you reevaluate your life. Her love and lose has made you realize what you want, what you are missing and what you need right now. She was your anchor,support and without her support, you are on your own to figure it out. Know Daisy Mae is with you and guiding you. You are on overwhelmed and need time to recoup. And more importantly,you need time and space to grieve in your own way.
Hugs Sonja and Apollo

doxiesrock912

06-21-2014, 03:03 PM

You are so right Sonja. We need to meet in person one of these days.
Where are you located?

I sense Cush family reunion in the future!
We really should find a way to do this someday.

I would LOVE to meet all of you in person and hug each of you for all of your support and continued support.

No one understand unconditional love until you have animals join your family.
The people on this forum come as close to that as humans can. xoxo

While I'm supposed to be packing at the house in Greenwich, I've been spending the morning trying to put out the fire of my father impulse buying a vehicle!!!!!

Thankfully, I found out that he was going there the other day and asked the sales manager to not seal the deal until I'm present.

I can't bail him out of another car!!!!!

goldengirl88

06-21-2014, 03:19 PM

Valerie:
Dad buying another car? You don't need that right now added to the other things
on the pile. I know it is good for you to be busy, but I worry when this is all over, you will not have had time to grieve for Daisy..I guess you never heard from the Dr. or you would have posted it. Wish I could help you out. Blessings
Patti

doxiesrock912

06-21-2014, 03:23 PM

Patti, no that weasel never even reached out to me. Not once.
I am going to pursue this with my uncle's help, I just haven't had the time to print out the 100s of pages and mail them to him.

I hope that you get help from the pain clinic soon. Chronic pain is awful, I watched mom go through it and dad does too.

Trish

06-21-2014, 08:36 PM

Hi Valerie

Boy you have had a lot going on, straight into all that sorting out at the new house too without any time to properly grieve. Just remember to take time for you. It is never a good time to make any big decisions when you are grieving so I think it is quite right of you to say that you will have the talk with Chris once things have settled down. Hoping for a better week for you. xx

doxiesrock912

06-21-2014, 10:13 PM

Let's see if these links work properly.

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=812459642106301&l=a806c08322

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=812459638772968&l=52b3a76da5

Trish

06-21-2014, 10:15 PM

Nope, not opening!

doxiesrock912

06-21-2014, 11:15 PM

Ugh!

Maybe this one?

https://www.facebook.com/valerie.howe.52/posts/812460385439560

If not, I added the pictures of Daisy's remembrance from Cornell to the "my girls" album.

Trish

06-22-2014, 04:26 AM

I can see the FB post now, lovely messages from Cornell Valerie. Very touching. x

doxiesrock912

06-22-2014, 04:29 AM

I thought so too Trish. Chris also cried when he read them.
I feel like this pain will never go away.

There is so much that I planned on doing with Daisy with the warm weather coming. I miss simply walking with her outside, laying her across the front of me while walking around the house like a living fur stole worn in reverse - everything.

Trish

06-22-2014, 04:33 AM

Well you have to give yourself time to grieve, no rushing these things. All those clichés are really true....

gatorgirl_bama

06-22-2014, 09:51 AM

Valerie,

That was beautiful and I too cried. I donated and shared on my Facebook about Daisy. I pray you reach your goal and then some!

Some people can grieve, get over it and then go on with their lives like nothing ever happened. True "pet parents" can't do that. It stays with us. It's been almost 11 months since I lost Tia, yesterday while Sammy and I were out shopping, I turned to him and said "Tia's birthday cake should be in today". Though I meant Tanzee, he could see the tears as soon as I said it, so he quickly changed the subject. Tippi and Tia will always be in my heart and always on my mind. Whether it be a month or a year or ten years, they were my children and I will continue to grieve for them.

Daisy Mae is your child and no one can say how long you should grieve or when you should "be over it". There is so many times that I've wished I could sell this house. That way maybe all the memories of my girls wouldn't consume me, but I know that wouldn't be true because they are in me and I'll take them where ever I go. Daisy will be with you even in the new house and any other house you might live. She was your child and you'll carry her where ever you go.

That new purple chair looks like a good "go to" for when you need time for you, time for Daisy, to just sit and take deep breathes, cry or whatever YOU need to do.

I know I'm ranting...have a good day. Sending love and prayers your way.
Donna

doxiesrock912

06-22-2014, 01:31 PM

I saw that you donated Donna and thank you so much for sharing the link too!
I even posted it on Daisy's facebook page.

When things calm down, I'll make a page for Gracie and Annabelle Lee too.

Chris has been really good about my crying and he also tries to change to subject like Sammy does with you. They can't stand to see us upset.

The purple chair just fits in the nook! I was hoping to add in a small, rectangular table to set tea or whatever on but there isn't room. I think that I'll put up a shelf that will accomplish the same thing. Now I need some type of curtain to cover that window. I sprayed the chair with UV protectant spray so that should prevent sun fading.

I've lost many family pets, but losing Daisy is so far the absolute worse and I think that a big part is due to the carelessness of how she died. It should not have happened and the vet still hasn't reached out to me at all.

addy

06-22-2014, 06:30 PM

Val, big hugs.

Grief does strange things to us all, in different ways. I just wanted to leave my home, I did not want to be here without Zoe. We all react differently but yet the same.

After awhile it is not that gut wrenching, horrible pain in your chest; that pain does start to go away but it takes awhile.

Just know we care and know that it is hard for you right now not to be overwhelmed by everything. It is part of the grieving.

more hugs

doxiesrock912

06-22-2014, 10:29 PM

I know that you care, that's why I feel that I can post whatever I feel here.

goldengirl88

06-23-2014, 01:13 PM

Valerie:

I hope things are getting better with your work load, but probably know the answer to that. I am behind today, and can't seem to catch up as I had errands to do. Blessigns
Patti

doxiesrock912

06-23-2014, 06:40 PM

Patti,

I'll be glad when July 1st is here and we'll only have the new house to contend with.

I'm looking forward to checking out the beach that is within walking distance :)

doxiesrock912

06-24-2014, 01:55 AM

Missing snuggling you Daisy Mae. <3

goldengirl88

06-24-2014, 07:52 AM

Valerie:
I am glad you are by a beach, it would have been a nice time for you and your baby though. Where are the kitties? Hope you make your deadline. Blessings
Patti

knitbunnie

06-24-2014, 01:08 PM

I haven't been here much lately, and so I just saw the news of your dear Daisy. Sorry does not do enough to express my feelings at your loss. But know that I am so sorry. Sending you hugs across the miles.

doxiesrock912

06-25-2014, 12:18 AM

Thank you Bonnie. My heart is broken into a billion pieces.
Patti, I haven't had time to even set one food on the beach but I am so looking forward to it.

Spent 12 very long hours driving to West Haven, picking up the Monday mg truck and packing it in Greenwich. So sore and truly can't wait until this is done.

goldengirl88

06-25-2014, 08:30 AM

Valerie:
The beach can wait it's not going anywhere. You will have plenty of time to enjoy it. Please take care of yourself. Blessings
Patti

doxiesrock912

06-25-2014, 10:55 PM

Another 12 hour day of packing, moving, and driving.
We managed to move almost all of the heavy furniture to the new house today. The humidity was horrid!!!!! Thankfully, my friend Ryan came along and helped. I told Chris that if we ever move again that we'll hire someone.

goldengirl88

06-26-2014, 08:17 AM

Valerie:
I am counting the days off on my calendar until the 1st. I am going to throw a web party for you, and give you and Chris some virtual massages after moving all that furniture. It's funny you find out who your true friends and family are when you need them in a situation like this. Big hugs to you and take care. Blessings
Patti

doxiesrock912

06-27-2014, 01:18 AM

Patti, I can't wait until this is over :(
Already I am less than thrilled about the neighborhood where the new house is. God I hope that I am wrong but it appears that one of the neighbor's kids (diagonally across from our house) is selling drugs to cars that drive by!

I am NOT HAPPY at all and if this is the case than I'm going to insist that Chris sell this house when we have it fixed up. He got it at a steal so that shouldn't be a problem.

goldengirl88

06-27-2014, 07:47 AM

Valerie:
Oh no!!! That is horrible. You will be afraid to ever leave your house in a neighborhood like that. This is turning into a nightmare. Just what you do not need, more stress. Chris really dropped the ball on this one. This will drive you crazy watching that happen on your street. You just cannot catch a break. Praying for you to get thru this. Blessings
Patti

doxiesrock912

06-27-2014, 05:03 PM

He sure did Patti,
He was so fucused on the great price that he either didn't do his homework or thought that it couldn't possibly be that bad.

goldengirl88

06-27-2014, 06:02 PM

Valerie:
Too bad it will affect you too, but you will just have to make the best of the positive attributes until you either decide to stay or move again. It will take a while to get everything fixed up either way. Well you are getting closer to the first so do you have all the other stuff out of Chris's place? Then you have all your stuff? Hope you dad is doing well. He will probably be so lonely without you, maybe he would want a dog for company? You have all been through so much. Blessings
Patti

goldengirl88

06-29-2014, 10:29 AM

Valerie:
Hope all is well and you have most of what needs moved already in the house. I hope Chris has an apron on and serving you breakfast in bed, as you deserve it after all this mess. Blessings
Patti

doxiesrock912

06-29-2014, 05:07 PM

Ha! Good one Patti,
Somehow we went from a tiny apartment with barely enough storage space, to a huge house with barely enough storage space.

I can't live like this. I am totally miserable.

goldengirl88

06-30-2014, 07:43 AM

Valerie:
My goodness what are you going to do? I feel so bad you have had such a stressful time lately. I hope it does get better. Blessings
Patti

doxiesrock912

06-30-2014, 11:00 PM

Finally! Everything is out of Greenwich so now we can focus on one house for a change. I can't even tell you how many miles we logged on our vehicles during all of this.

Last night, I was about to go to bed and the back of my thighs got charlie horses! MOG they wouldn't STOP and I was on the verge of tears begging for the pain to stop. I woke Chris up at 2am and asked him what to do.

I ended up doing laps up and down the stairs until they went away. It was crazy.

Everything that we touch ends up being much more than we thought. Perfect example, the wire shelves in the pantry were so dirty. Bleach, TSP....nothing worked so we took them out and went to Lowes and Home Depot for new shelves which they cut to length for us thankfully. Chris told me that I have the rest of the week off and he did the very last run to Greenwich tonight after work.

I hope that all of you and your Cushbabies are doing well.
I'll never forget the love and kindness that you've shown Daisy Mae and I throughout all of this.

My next step is to find out what route to go with the gp vet. He made a grievous error and compensation of some kind is certainly due. Before you even ask Patti, he STILL has not called me and obviously won't.

goldengirl88

07-01-2014, 08:00 AM

Valerie:
Charlie horses are the worst, especially at nite. I'm glad you got everything in the house though. You remind me of that movie the Money Pit when you talk about everything you touch in the house leads to something else! Blessings
Patti

gatorgirl_bama

07-01-2014, 09:35 AM

Good morning Valerie,

Sammy gets charlie horses really bad at night so I give him a Magnesium supplement every morning. Those dang things are the worst pain ever. I got them too when I had my knee surgery, but when my knee was better, they stopped. With all the stress you've been under lately, I'm sure you're not taking care of yourself as you should be. Vitamins, Calcium and Magnesium and lots of water help the cramps.

Once you get the house situated, post some pictures. I know we'd all love to see what you've done to it.

Try to rest up and take care of yourself. Sending some love.

Donna

doxiesrock912

07-01-2014, 12:20 PM

I'm sure that the thousands of trips up and down stairs in the heat didn't help.
I certainly will post pictures.

It's going to be a long road. Chris worked from home today because the roofing guys have started already. Crossing my fingers that installing gutters will make the leaks go away.

goldengirl88

07-01-2014, 12:46 PM

Valerie:
I am so sorry you got in the dilemma with this house. I think it's just much too soon after Daisy's passing. My God it sounds like you will have to replace the whole house. In that neighborhood are you going to get your money back? It is sweltering here today. Tipper is panting a lot but she is in the air conditioning so don't know what is up with that. I would think if she were uncontrolled she would be starving as that is her main symptom. Take care of yourself. Blessings
Patti

molly muffin

07-01-2014, 08:55 PM

Well, you have had an eventful time lately.
I think you owe yourself some chill out time. Just take it easy, let lifes worries pass you by for a bit. They'll still be there later, but some me time works wonders.

Sharlene and molly muffin

goldengirl88

07-02-2014, 11:51 AM

Valerie:
You need a paid vacation to some place where you can recuperate and lay on the beach. I hope this is the end of your troubles. Blessings
Patti

doxiesrock912

07-02-2014, 12:01 PM

Me too but dad has been complaining that every time he eats, he feels sick to his stomach. Sigh. I'm hoping it's just the heat. He was a recheck appointment at Smilow cancer hospital tomorrow.

I am being lazy today.

goldengirl88

07-02-2014, 12:30 PM

Valerie:
Hope it is just the heat too, you all have had enough. I hope things go well for your dad tomorrow. Just be lazy all day you deserve it. Blessings
Patti

apollo6

07-02-2014, 12:46 PM

Dear Valeria,
Hoping you can get some relief. You sound so much like me. Charlie horses are the worst. I get them some time my self at night,try to massage and walk it off. Also drink mor water. Hope your Dad is okay,have a senior mother my self. Patti is right,to bad you could just get away for awhile. The grief of losing Daisy Mae, you did,with so many questions. Wish veterinarians would be mor accountable and the pharmaceutical companies for the drugs they give our babies.
Hugs Sonja and Angel Apollo

Renee

07-02-2014, 06:26 PM

Hi Val, I am terribly late and I apologize for that. I just wanted to express my sincerest condolences on Daisy's passing. I read through your thread. What a terrible tragedy. :(

doxiesrock912

07-02-2014, 10:45 PM

Thank you Renee :)

Trish

07-03-2014, 04:35 AM

HI Valerie, thank god you finally had a day of rest! You must have been so ready for a "me" day, hope your Dad's appointment goes well xx

goldengirl88

07-03-2014, 07:56 AM

Valerie:
I am saying a prayer for your dear father that all will go well for him at his appointment. Rest and relax a while while waiting for your dad. Blessings
Patti

doxiesrock912

07-03-2014, 09:50 PM

Dad's bloodwork looks fine which is surprising to me being that he caughs more often and harder than ever now. The oncologist and I are sure that his smoking is wreaking havock on his COPD. She is having a smoking cesation specialist call him and councel him over the phone and she wants him to see a pulmonologist.

Aside from that, he has another recheck in 3 months with bloodwork and a CT scan and if all goes well we can move the visits to once a year!!!!!

Looking forward to that.

Patti, I hope that all is quiet in Ohio. We're getting thunder, lightning, and rain right now. The sky looked really neat just before dark! Omnimous clouds.

goldengirl88

07-04-2014, 07:38 AM

Valerie:
I thought he quit smoking? Did he start back up I guess? I hope everything turns out for him, he must struggle with this daily. Do you think he will do ok on his own? When are you moving the kitties in? Blessings
Patti

doxiesrock912

07-04-2014, 10:12 PM

It's going to be a long time before I move the kitties. There are holes in ceilings where plumbing hangs out and a few air vents that are missing grates. I can't take the chance that one of them climbs in there and gets stuck or lost.

Chris is being a total crab today. My sister took her fiance's car and took off for the day leaving him with their youngest daughter at home without transportation. Of course, my father got a call and he went over to bring Dave to his boss' house to borrow a van.

Tomorrow will be better as we've been invited to my friend Linda's picnic.

molly muffin

07-05-2014, 08:57 AM

Oh dear Valerie, sounds like her issues do continue unabated unfortunately.

Absolutely you need to make sure the house is safe for the kitties before they go there.

What a process.
Hang in there
Sharlene and molly muffin

gatorgirl_bama

07-06-2014, 06:51 AM

Thinking about you.

doxiesrock912

07-06-2014, 01:20 PM

Thank you.

molly muffin

07-07-2014, 09:17 PM

Hi Valerie,

How is the house stuff going? Hope it's all coming along okay and you aren't sweltering in the humid heat.

hugs
Sharlene and molly muffin

doxiesrock912

07-07-2014, 11:49 PM

Sharlene,
we bought curtains this weekend. They brought the pool table but couldn't get it into the house so back it went and the store has a no refund policy. Either Chris has to find one there that he likes or I'm hoping that they can make an exception.

We did walk from the house to the beach because I was curious how far it really was. It was beautiful last night and the beach is lined with parks and a boardwalk so that was really cool!

I was planning on spending the night and then coming back to dad's today and I was about to call him when he called to say that my sister was coming over to spend the night! Needless to say, I flipped out. Apparently, he misunderstood what DCF was asking when when my sister's case worker called him and he volunteered his house as a safe place for her when she goes out and gets high! I DON'T THINK SO.

That took care of me spending the night and at 11pm last night I drove back to Bristol, got there and took dad's wallet, GPS, tablet, and ALL keys to everything up to my bedroom with me and finally slept after 4:30am.

We straightened it all out today when they came to do the urine test which she obviously failed. Dad told DCF that she can spend tonight only and that they have to find somewhere else for her to go the next time that she gets high. I arranged for her kids to go to her friend Lisa's house if she messes up again which is inevitable and her fiance is then stuck with her and has to actually handle the situation appropriately instead of involing my father. Dad had to take a Nitro pill last night less than an hour after she got to his house.

I told DCF that both of them need serious counseling because they treat each other like crap. My sister wasn't happy about that since she never acknowledges her part in anything, just accuses him of being abusive and everyone else of "being negative".

I also blocked both of their phone numbers on my father's cell phone. They need to own up to their problems and do whatever they need to in order to correct this situation or they will lose their kids. My sympathy is gone. We're not going through this for another 20+ years and I am NOT raising another one of her children.

Now DCF knows exactly what is what and not only what my sister has told them. My only goal at this point is to protect my father. They are adults, they've been told what to do and they better damn well do it.

Sorry for the rant, but it's been one heck a roller coaster and my sister never, ever accepts the blame for anything. She does what she has to to satisfy what is required of her, or she at least makes them think that she's doing what she should. She's not getting away with it this time and I told her that she has no right to mess with other peoples' lives anymore. She straightens out now and forever...period.

One way or another, this will end and whatever happens is up to my sister and her daughters' father. It is not and will not be our problem anymore. Dad can't handle it and I won't. Both of them are toxic people and our family deserves better.

On an interesting note. Chris and I went to a picnic on the 5th of July at my friend Linda's house. She has 2 cats, a dog, and 3 chickens. I had a blast feeding the chickens! After the picnic, Chris and I headed back to West Haven to watch fireworks. Our propertly is set a bit higher than the sidewalk and there is a beautiful wall that separates the front yard from the sidewalk.
We got home and there were about 20 people sitting on the wall and in chairs on the sidewalk. We got out of the car and I started speaking with some of them. introduced ourselves and learned that our house is the perfect place to sit in front of and watch the town fireworks!

I joked with a few of them asking that they please not litter and thanked them for not parking on the actual lawn. One guy offered us beer :) We brought chairs out and joined them. I told the man with the beer, that he has to bring pizza next year :) Most of them live on our street or neighboring streets and we all introduced ourselves to each other.

They were right, our house is on the corner and we had the perfect view of the fireworks. That was a great way to spend the evening and I was grateful that they were respectful of our property. When things calm down, I plan on doing some planting and installing solar lights along the walkway up to the front door and maybe along the driveway next to the wall. Chris and I did begin pulling the ivy off of the bricks where it was attaching itself to the house. I read that a solution of water and white vinegar will kill it if sprayed on the leaves and then you also cut the ivy as close to the ground as you can. It's pretty, BUT it actually bores into the brick and obviously that is quite costly. Centipedes also love to live in it and I DESPISE them.
So, ivy goes bye bye and I will clear some of the other stuff so that nothing is right against the house itself.

addy

07-08-2014, 08:04 AM

Val that sounds like a lovely way to watch the fireworks and meet your neighbors. I am glad you were able to have time for something enjoyable!!!

doxiesrock912

07-08-2014, 11:43 AM

Me too Addy. I was amazed at how many people were walking along the boardwalk at night too. I told Chris that we should do that 4 or 5 times a week.

molly muffin

07-08-2014, 04:39 PM

That Does sound really nice. Great way to meet the neighbors and become a member of the community. I agree, love to look at ivy but it is very damaging to anything it attaches itself too.

hugs
Sharlene and molly muffin

Trish

07-09-2014, 05:33 AM

Sounds like your sister needs some tough love, hard to do for parents. So feel for your Dad, but also feel your frustration with the situation. Number one is to keep everyone safe, which sounds like you are doing.

Well sounds like your neighbourhood is pretty good, were the druggies across the road about for the fireworks?? :rolleyes: I love being close to the beach too, so therapeutic walking along smelling the sea air and going for a wee paddle when it is hot!! Unfortunately my beach is not a safe swimming beach, but still lovely to be close to the sea! x

doxiesrock912

07-09-2014, 11:51 PM

Oh no! I hope that we can swim at our beach! I love to swim.
My sister was allowed to return to her kids at their house today. I made it a point to fill in DCF on a lot of things that they didn't know about so that they now have the full picture and hopefully they can get that whole family straightened out.

I also got dad to understand what being on the list meant and he agreed that she CAN'T come to his house when she's using drugs. She has to go to inpatient rehab if this happens again. Hopefully this will force them to handle all of their problems once and for all.

doxiesrock912

07-11-2014, 03:57 AM

My sister is back with her kids and fiance and dad has been removed from the list of places where she can flop after getting high. Praying that won't happen again and I told the DCF workers more than they needed to know about my sister's long standing issues and her fiance's tendency for verbal abuse.

Whatever happens now is up to them and neither can come running to dad.

He didn't understand what being on the list mean and when I explained in front of everyone so that there was no more confusion, thankfully he said "no way. If she messes up again she goes straight to rehab." Of course she threw the guilt trip card and accused me of always being negative and bringing up the past. I told her that it's not in the past because she keeps doing these things so DCF finally knows all.

Hoping this is the end if it forever but at least my father is protected.

Found a lawyer for Daisy's case and I have a free consultation on Wednesday.

It's wonderful to have a quiet house again!!!! Just me, dad, and 3 kitties. No hearing those 2 arguing on the phone or her never being happy with anything.

gatorgirl_bama

07-18-2014, 07:34 AM

Hi Valerie,
Just checking in to see how the appointment with the lawyer. Hope you've finally gotten to move into the beach house.

Sending love,
Donna

addy

07-19-2014, 06:55 PM

Hi Val,

It is a beautiful day here in Wisconsin, a rare occurance these days:rolleyes:

So I am stopping by to tell you I hope you are having a good day too. I'm hoping you tell me you have been walking on the beach:D:D:D:D

doxiesrock912

07-19-2014, 07:01 PM

Addy,
Send some of that weather to me please.
Can you believe that we haven't had a sunny day since I got the beach pass?
Nope, I haven't had a beach day yet.

molly muffin

07-20-2014, 10:33 PM

Wow, that is sucky Valerie. Hope you get some nice days soon.

Sharlene and molly muffin

doxiesrock912

07-20-2014, 11:36 PM

I know!
I called dad on the way back to his house to let him know that I was coming and he asked if I'd gotten to the beach. He was surprised when I told him that I hadn't.

Stupid weatherman. Humpf.

doxiesrock912

07-21-2014, 01:08 PM

Now that I'm back at dad's and not near the beach, it's bright and sunny. :)

Cornell responded offering to send me all of the records and doctor notes associated with Daisy's stay there. I told them that I already have that but need a letter. Sadly, I feel like they're protecting the vet and he doesn't work at their practice. I pushed back politely and we"LLC see if that helps.

doxiesrock912

07-22-2014, 08:21 PM

Dad went to the hospital by ambulance, he had a heart attack and ended up having emergency surgery to install a stint.

addy

07-22-2014, 08:33 PM

Oh no, Val, I am so sorry. How is he doing? My friend's mom has had 3 stints put in and another friend's dad had one put in. I think it is easier on them. At least I hope that is the case.

When will your dad come home?

molly muffin

07-22-2014, 09:49 PM

Omg, Valerie! How is he doing? Is he in surgery now? How are you doing?

We're here for you.

hugs
Sharlene and molly muffin

molly muffin

07-23-2014, 07:36 PM

Valerie, how is your dad doing??

hugs,
Sharlene and molly muffin

doxiesrock912

07-23-2014, 10:23 PM

Dad was moved to a regular room today. His breathing is horrid because he wasn't getting the duoneb in ICU. They couldn't risk his heart rate increasing so he's got some work to do to get better. He also absolutely HAS to quit smoking!

gatorgirl_bama

07-24-2014, 07:24 AM

Valerie,
Sending you some love and your Dad some healing prayers.

Donna

addy

07-24-2014, 07:19 PM

Sending big hugs Val.

doxiesrock912

08-02-2014, 01:24 AM

Dad is home! <3 <3 <3

He's got a bit of work to do but the doctors were amazed at how quickly he has recovered so far. No more smoking - EVER!
I think that has finally sunk in.

Budsters Mom

08-02-2014, 03:06 AM

So glad that your dad his home where he belongs.:p

gatorgirl_bama

08-02-2014, 08:46 AM

Great news. Just hope you are taking care of yourself too.

molly muffin

08-02-2014, 09:16 AM

Oh this is very good news Valerie. Glad he is home and recuperating.

Hugs
Sharlene and Molly muffin

addy

08-02-2014, 09:18 AM

I am so glad your dad is home, Val and I hope you get some time to just relax and "be". There has been so much stress for you in such a short time.

Quitting smoking is hard. About 25 years ago hubby and I both quit cold turkey. The only reason we were able to do it was because we made each other a bet and we were both too stubborn to lose the bet. Having to do it alone, I think would be hard but hopefully, Dad will realize it is needed for his health and be stubborn and quit.:):):)

Have a good weekend and hugs to you and I hope Dad does well.

gatorgirl_bama

08-04-2014, 10:44 AM

Hi Valerie.
Just checking on you and your Dad. Hope all is well.

Woodydog

08-04-2014, 12:28 PM

Popping into see how you are and hope dad is getting better :)

doxiesrock912

08-05-2014, 12:45 AM

Dad snuck 1/2 a cigarette today. I AM FURIOUS and we are going to have a serious talk tomorrow. I am sick of being in the middle of various family members' addictions and I deserve better.

If he's not going to be proactive with his own health, I am leaving.

molly muffin

08-05-2014, 04:23 PM

Hi Valerie,

What you have to have to come to terms with is that these are their addictions, not yours and that you can't make them do anything they don't want to do, whatever that may be. I know it is frustrating.

hugs
Sharlene and molly muffin

doxiesrock912

08-05-2014, 09:56 PM

Sharlene,

he threw out his cigarettes on his own today. Maybe he just needed a last hurrah kind of thing.

molly muffin

08-05-2014, 10:13 PM

That is good. The thing is that it is all on him, whatever he does.

hugs
Sharlene and molly muffin

doxiesrock912

08-06-2014, 01:50 AM

No, no - I respectfully disagree. I'm the one who dials 911 and sweats it out until he's home. I'm also exposed to the second hand smoke which no matter what you do, floats all over the house.

addy

08-06-2014, 08:18 AM

Val,is it possible for your dad's doctor to help him quit? If he cant use a nicotine patch, perhaps something else along with a support group?

Just a thought.

doxiesrock912

08-06-2014, 02:19 PM

Doc says that dad needs to make up his mind to do it. He has once before so hopefully this scared him enough to stick.

molly muffin

08-06-2014, 04:01 PM

Hopefully he can but he has to want to and really try to stick to it, or it won't happen.

hugs
Sharlene and molly muffin

Harley PoMMom

08-06-2014, 04:08 PM

What about trying those e-cigarettes?

doxiesrock912

08-07-2014, 02:10 AM

Now that the 2 year mark of mom's passing is gone, I am hoping that he will now focus on his own health and how much we love him.

E-cigarettes are at least as bad as the regular kind. So, I'm not even offering that suggestion to him. He quit cold turkey before and can do it again I hope.

addy

08-14-2014, 07:11 PM

Hi Val,

Just stopping in to say hi and to let you know I am thinking of you.

I hope Dad is doing ok and that the house is coming along.

doxiesrock912

08-15-2014, 11:10 PM

Hi Addy,

dad is doing ok. I haven't had time to go to the house in West Haven and Chris hasn't been doing much there that I know of.

Summer is almost over and I still haven't gotten to the beach.
Every time I plan to go, it rains.

Thanks for thinking of me :)

addy

08-16-2014, 09:12 AM

I know, we have been in the pool 5 times, that is it and summer is almost over. Soon we will have to close it.

Time goes by so quickly. Sometimes it is down right scary.

molly muffin

08-17-2014, 07:52 PM

Glad to hear your dad is doing okay. That is good news.

Yea, it's been a heck of a summer so far.

hugs
Sharlene and molly muffin

doxiesrock912

08-18-2014, 07:32 PM

Well, we miss having a dog in the house. Sooooo, does anyone know anything about Little Paws Dachshund Rescue?

They're coming for a home visit on Thursday morning to see if we'll be good parents.

flynnandian

08-18-2014, 08:08 PM

i hope that there will be the pitter patter of new dachshund feet in the near future.
[we call them teckels in the netherlands.]
walking down the beach with your new doggie..................

pansywags

08-18-2014, 08:35 PM

I have a feeling you'll pass the home visit with flying colors. Good luck finding a beautiful new friend.

doxiesrock912

08-18-2014, 10:11 PM

I'm not worried and if it takes time to find a "fit" for our family, that's ok too. He or she has to get along with the kitties. They were here first.

molly muffin

08-18-2014, 10:16 PM

Good luck. No I don't know anything about them, but sounds good that they are doing a home visit.

hugs
Sharlene and molly muffin

Budsters Mom

08-19-2014, 01:16 AM

The perfect fur baby will find you when the time is right.;):p

doxiesrock912

08-19-2014, 02:38 AM

I believe that too.

addy

08-19-2014, 08:19 AM

It will all work out, Val. Let us know how it goes and cant wait for pictures.

doxiesrock912

08-19-2014, 01:33 PM

Dad's nurse sent him to the hospital. Looks like he's getting a pacemaker.:-(

addy

08-19-2014, 01:37 PM

Oh dear, Val. I am sure it will be ok. My neighbor just had to have one put in.

I am so sorry you have no break from all the stress.

Squirt's Mom

08-19-2014, 01:41 PM

Let us know how he's doing!

molly muffin

08-19-2014, 08:44 PM

My dad got a pacemaker when he was 90 I think it was. Best thing he ever had done. It is very easy procedure these days compared to how it use to be. I am sure he will be just fine. Ever the hopeful here

Hugs
Sharlene and Molly muffin

doxiesrock912

08-20-2014, 01:37 AM

Thank you everyone.
His cardiologist called me at the hospital and told me to have the doctor call his office before they do anything because dad is a "complicated case".
Nothing like scaring he crap out of you.

They have to wait for the Coumadin levels to go down in his blood before doing the surgery. Could be tomorrow or the next day.

gatorgirl_bama

08-24-2014, 11:42 AM

Hi Valerie,
Just wanted to say I'm thinking about you and sending prayers for your Dad.

Much love,
Donna

doxiesrock912

08-25-2014, 12:54 AM

Dad came home on Saturday, less than 24 hours after surgery which went quite well the surgeon said. He went to Stop n Shop with me but had to sit down. Today, we met a friend for coffee and then went to nearby store, he seems to have more energy today already do we're on the right tract.

Trish

08-27-2014, 05:22 PM

Hi Valerie

How are things going? Got that house sorted out yet? I guess hard for you to make the decision to permanently move with your Dad being under the weather. Hope the pacemaker keeps his ticker ticking at the right rate! Poor guy, one thing after another with him... about time he had a spell of good things happening! xx

molly muffin

08-27-2014, 11:13 PM

My dad seemed to get stronger and stronger. If only his mind had held up, I'm sure his heart would have gone on for a long time.

hugs
Sharlene and molly muffin

doxiesrock912

08-28-2014, 01:22 AM

Dad is doing very well thank you. His memory isn't the best, but he's not dangerous thankfully. The incision is oozing a tiny bit the past 2 days but his nurse thinks it's ok. I hope that she's right.

Summer temps are here again with a vengeance. Thankfully, dad seems less bothered by the heat than usual.

Trish, I haven't even BEEN to the new house in weeks. My honey misses me and I miss him but he understands and is willing to visit for the day on the weekends which is nice.

addy

09-02-2014, 07:00 PM

Hi Val,

How is your Dad? Any news from the rescue group? I hope you walked on the boardwalk for Labor Day!!

doxiesrock912

09-02-2014, 11:19 PM

Addy,
we went to the beach and SWAM on Monday! The water was perfect and there was barely anyone around.

Dad is smoking again. I'm in the process of planning to meet a doxie named Petey who gets along with cats, but now I'm debating if I should wait. What if the smoking played a role in Daisy's health issues? I don't want to go down that road if it can be prevented.

Petsmart sent me a "Happy Birthday Daisy Mae" email today. She would've been 11 on the 12th of September.

apollo6

09-06-2014, 08:48 PM

Keep us posted. We always question their death and wonder what caused it.
Hugs Sonja and Angel Apollo

doxiesrock912

09-12-2014, 12:32 AM

Hello my sweet pea up in Heaven. Today is the day that our world became better because you were born. Run, play, and enjoy your birthday and know that I'm always thinking of you.

I'm crying fresh tears. I still miss you so much and you'll always hold a very special place in my ♡. Love you always Daisy Mae "monster" Howe

Momma

Squirt's Mom

09-12-2014, 08:37 AM

Happy Birthday, Daisy Mae!
I bet Rainbow Bridge birthday parties are the wildest parties ever!

labblab

09-12-2014, 09:36 AM

And the two best things about Rainbow Bridge Parties are that there is always room for everyone and the babies can eat exactly what (and how much) they want!

Daisy Mae, your family is missing you so much here, but we know your new family will be treating you like a Queen today! :o ;)

Val, sending many hugs your way on this bittersweet day of remembrance and celebration of Daisy's sweet spirit.

Marianne

Budsters Mom

09-12-2014, 02:32 PM

Happy birthday Daisy Mae!!

Budsters Mom

09-12-2014, 02:34 PM

happy birthday Daisy Mae!!!:):):p:p

NoonelovesmelikeNorman

09-12-2014, 08:58 PM

Hi Val, I am so sorry to hear that Daisy Mae passed. My heart is breaking for you. Sending hugs and Love to you as you are in thought of Daisy Mae's Birthday. I am sure your baby is looking down from the Rainbow Bridge and thanking you for all the love and care you gave her. She would be licking your tears away.

Sending Hugs and Peace to you.

<3 Sharon, Norman, Millie and Raven

molly muffin

09-12-2014, 11:26 PM

Happy Birthday Daisy Mae.

You are missed greatly.

hugs
Sharlene and molly muffin

doxiesrock912

09-12-2014, 11:32 PM

Thank you everyone.

doxiesrock912

07-28-2015, 02:41 AM

Dad is in the hospital again. This time it is his CHF acting up and I am really concerned. All of my recent losses are hitting me altogether tonight. Mom - Oct. 6, 2011, Daisy Mae"monster? Howe - June 8, 2014....just so very very sad.

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=1043796988972564&l=851707384c

labblab

07-28-2015, 10:42 AM

Oh Val, I'm so sorry to hear that your dad is having problems again. And boy oh boy, my heart goes out to you in terms of your losses. I can hardly believe that Daisy left us over a year ago now. In so many ways, it seems like only yesterday to me. But I sure do understand how sometimes it just feels like too much. Too much pain. Too much missing those dear faces.

Please keep us updated re: your dad, OK? And you hang in there, girl. Your K9C Family is right here by your side, always.

Marianne

judymaggie

07-28-2015, 11:47 AM

Valerie--sending lots of healing thoughts to your dad. I lost one of my closest friends, my beagle, Maggie and my mother within two years so can empathize with the feeling of being overwhelmed by sadness.

molly muffin

07-28-2015, 03:41 PM

Valerie, sending hugs your way. I hope your dad does okay and get back home and the things he loves.

scoora

07-28-2015, 09:47 PM

Valerie,
Prayers for your dad

Hugs

doxiesrock912

10-25-2015, 02:56 PM

Hello everyone, dad has not been home since July. In and out of the hospital and nursing homes. Now he's at Yale with pneumonia and a blood infection. They say that it is possible for bacteria to adhere to any hardware in your body, he has a pacemaker and plates etc in his neck and lower back too, they're asking me if he can participate in a research study. I will consent as long as it won't cause him pain or harm.

Bella is wonderful! She gets along with the cats. Even dad's cat who was afraid of everything !

I hope that all of you are well. Hugs.

judymaggie

10-25-2015, 09:15 PM

Valerie--I am so sorry that your dad is having such a rough time. Sending healing thoughts his way!

labblab

10-26-2015, 12:30 PM

Hi Val, I'm sure sorry to hear about all your dad's challenges, but it's good to see you logged in here once again! And it's especially sweet to hear how well Bella has settled in with all your family.

I'm sending healing wishes your way, too, and will be anxious to hear how things continue to develop with your dad.

With my best wishes to you all,
Marianne

molly muffin

10-26-2015, 07:15 PM

I'm sorry to hear about your dad Val. The challenges are many it seems when our parents get older. :(

So glad to hear that Bella is doing well in the household and getting along with the cats. I'm sure they are a joy for you.

doxiesrock912

10-28-2015, 01:55 AM

Thank you everyone, I'm not online nearly as often as I used to be for obvious reasons.

My sincere condolences to everyone who has lost furbabies! I wish they would find a cure for this horrible disease. There is evidence that spaying/neuturing too soon can lead to serious health issues later in life for dogs and cats. Please research this topic as many vets still recommend doing so before the animal has it's first heat. I no longer agree with this.

I learned something new during dad's most recent hospital stay and I must share this with all of you because I can't believe that EVERYONE completely missed this fact and in doing so, it could easily have been fatal for my father!

All of our organs are in such close proximity to each other that in my mind this makes perfect sense! Dad survived stage 3B lung cancer, but the radiation caused major scarring to his lungs and he developed radiation pneumonitis which caused more scarring and COPD as well.Basically his lungs are swiss cheese so he has very little reserve when he gets any kind of respiratory illness.

Pneumonia (especially in the elderly) can quickly lead to bacterial infections in the blood which is dangerous. These bacteria like to adhere themselves to any foreign material in the body such as a pacemaker, pins, plates etc, and even though tests show that the blood infection has cleared and there is no new bacteria growth, the bacteria quickly grow from the foreign material in our bodies and the person quickly becomes ill again. Staph and sepsis are the two main strains and both can be fatal.

Dad is currently taking part in a study at Yale for this exact situation and I pray that they can eradicate this once and for all because the frequent hospital stays etc have left him seriously debilitated. He alternates between a bipap machine and has a nasal feeding tube. This is his second week in ICU. (I'm not doing anything that he doesn't want done by the way).

He is improving but it is very, VERY slow because of this being missed for so long.

If they get him stable enough, they may (very likely) have to replace the pacemaker altogether.

Please share this information with everyone so that they can question doctors when frequent illness and hospitalizations occur to rule this out.

Hugs to all of you!

scoora

10-30-2015, 05:43 AM

Val, Thanks for sharing that information with everyone. That's very interesting.
I hope your dad continues to improve!
Take care

addy

10-30-2015, 08:40 AM

Hi Val,

I'm so sorry to hear of your Dad's health issues and hope there is an improvement. Anything even asthma that causes inflammation in the lungs can cause scarring according to my GP so it can be a challenge.

I hope you are coping and I'm sending big hugs.

How is the new house?

Thinking of you

doxiesrock912

10-31-2015, 02:58 AM

More dad updates. The doctor doesn't believe that bacteria has invaded his pacemaker but the infection is still present. Going to try broad spectrum antibiotics for the next 10 days. His heart refraction rate is 30% (normal is 50 - 75%). Nothing will improve this. The radiation treatments that dad received for the lung cancer caused deformities in his airways and trachea. Airways are loose with pockets where bacteria collect causing infections over and over. His trachea issues are resulting in aspirations.

They had to intubate him for one and a half days during his last hospital stay and for one day during this one. Doing this also causes damage. The doctor asked dad what he wanted but he was having trouble speaking without losing his breath. I spoke up and said that so far, dad approved intubating if it was going to be temporary. Unless dad changes his mind, that's where we are. The doctor is going not to do that again and that the infection will clear.

It's a cycle that isn't avoidable because of everything combined. Please pray for us. Thank you.

addy

10-31-2015, 10:27 AM

Prayers being sent, Val, sorry to read this

doxiesrock912

11-11-2015, 11:39 PM

Dad came out of the hospital for about two weeks. Now he's back in, at Smilow which is part of Yale. He's been in the ICU for 3 weeks now and is again on an intubator. This time, he told the doctors to try for no longer than 6 days unless there is some kind of improvement.

He's holding on but there is more damage than 4 days ago so I am praying for a miracle. Just to be able to talk with him before the end.

judymaggie

11-12-2015, 02:14 PM

Valerie -- sending prayers and thoughts to you and your dad.

labblab

11-12-2015, 02:25 PM

Oh Val, I'm here, too, hoping so much for some improvement. It's been such a tough road for your dad and for you. I surely pray that you'll have the chance to spend some meaningful time together.

Holding you in my thoughts and surely hoping for the best,
Marianne

addy

11-12-2015, 09:13 PM

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your dad, Val.

Budsters Mom

11-13-2015, 12:06 AM

Me too!!! Thinking of you both.

Kathy

Robert

11-13-2015, 03:48 AM

Praying for you and yours.

molly muffin

11-13-2015, 03:17 PM

Oh gosh, I do hope he gets better and you can spend some quality time together.

doxiesrock912

11-14-2015, 01:42 AM

Dad is a Navy veteran. He served on the minesweeper "Verden" during the Korean war and was one of the people required to wrap the engine pipes with asbestos. They did this with bare hands and no mask. All of his life he has been plagued with bronchitis and pneumonia and always came through like a trooper.
As an adult, his primary care physician noticed a spot on his left lung. They watched it for years and it did not change. In the Fall of 2011 dad was diagnosed with stage 3B lung cancer. The doctors agreed that it was safe enough to postpone treatment until after the holidays. Exactly one weeks after diagnosis, my mother had a massive stroke (dad had been caring for her, she had Parkinsons). One week after this she passed away at which time I had graduated from college and moved back home to care for dad and am still doing so.
He developed radiation pneumonitis after ending radiation and chemo. This causes additional scarring to the lungs and only 15% of the people who undergo treatment develop this complication.
Dad has passed the two year cancer free mark and was doing amazingly well despite the pneumonitis. Then he developed COPD. He'd quit smoking years ago, but still got it. COPD has had a much more debilitating affect on dad than the cancer did!
Recently, I was told that dad has major damage to his trachea and esophagus due to the radiation therapy. This is even more rare than the pneumonitis. Basicallt, the COPD, pneumonitis and existing scarring of his lungs created copious amounts of mucus. Normally, our airways are tight and smooth, with little hairs that assist us with moving the mucus up and out of our body when we cough. Because of the damage, dad retains the mucus in pockets in his trachea (think of a saggy sock). The mucus falls back down to his lungs too when it gets excessive and serious, life threatening infections occur overnight. Literally.
He has gone from hospital to nursing home so many times that he has not been home since July 2015. The doctors at Smilow/Yale can't repair the damage. There have been studies but nothing that the FDA will approve and we are at least ten years away from stem cell research because lung tissue has a minimum of 30 different cells

.

doxiesrock912

11-14-2015, 01:43 AM

My heart emoticon broke at 7:30pm tonight. We honored dad's wishes and took him off of the ventilator tonight. He passed away surrounded by all of us which he made him happy. He couldn't speak, but looked around the room at each of us several times. Dad is dancing in Heaven with mom. I'm sure of it. Their love reunited them now for eternity. I love you both more than words can ever express. (January 28, 1933 - November 13, 2015).

Spiceysmum

11-14-2015, 03:41 AM

Valerie,
I am sorry to hear that your Dad has passed away. My sympathy goes out to you and your family.

Linda

labblab

11-14-2015, 06:52 AM

Oh Val. I salute your father this morning, and I salute you. He gave the gift of his life to protect our country, and you gave the gift of your heart to do everything within your power to protect him. My own heart goes out to you this morning, knowing that your life is forever changed. Your family here is honored that you will allow us to support you today, and each day forward.

Sending so many hugs to you, Val, and my deep sympathy on your loss.
Marianne

addy

11-14-2015, 09:55 AM

Oh Val, words cannot express my sorrow as I read your post.

We came to know your family and your father will always be honored and remembered here.

We surround you with love and express our deepest sympathy.

Val, I am so, so sorry for the loss of your dad.

Budsters Mom

11-14-2015, 11:40 AM

Dear Val, I am deeply sorry for your loss. My sympathy goes out to you and your entire family at this time.

Hugs,
Kathy

molly muffin

11-14-2015, 11:59 AM

I am so sorry Val. My heart just broke for you and your family when I read this. Through the years we were honored that you shared your dad with us. Today we are honored to share the sorrow of his passing and to hold you close in our hearts.

hugs

judymaggie

11-14-2015, 12:02 PM

Valerie -- my sincerest condolences to you and your family. Heartfelt hugs to you!

Trish

11-14-2015, 03:59 PM

Hi Valerie... so sorry to read this. May your Dad RIP and may you feel comforted that you honoured his wishes and did your very best for him. I bet Daisy Mae was very happy to see him... Big hugs xxxxx

doxiesrock912

11-15-2015, 01:56 AM

Once again, you'really all here to surround me with love as I grieve for another member of my family. I can't believe that both of my parents are gone! I'm truly heartbroken. Dad wanted to come home for hospice care and he fought so hard! This hospital visit was different though because no matter what they tried, overall, his lungs were worse than when he was first admitted. The doctor believes that a third lung scarring process had entered the picture?

Today we planned his service with the military honors he so deserved and I wrote his obituary. Next Saturday dad will be buried holding mom's urn as he wished. Family was so important o dad and this will give maby time to arrange travel and time to come and pay their respects.

Thank you all so much!

spdd

11-15-2015, 04:21 AM

Came to the forum this morning and read your post. My most sincere condolences to you Valerie. When my Dad passed, even though we knew it was coming when the call came in... I was still in shock. I know how you feel, and I just wish I could be there and give you a huge hug. You will be in my thoughts for many days to come. (((((Hugs))))

molly muffin

11-15-2015, 08:05 PM

We'll all be thinking of you and your family during this trying time.
Sometimes it all seems a blur when you are so busy trying to sort things out, but then it tends to catch up and hit you in those down time moments. At least that is how it was when both my mom and dad passed.

hugs

doxiesrock912

11-15-2015, 10:28 PM

The last thing that I could do for dad was to write his obituary. <3

Ralph Douglas Howe, 82, beloved husband of the late Lillian Genevieve Howe (Wabalas), passed away on Friday evening, November 13, 2015 at the Smilow Cancer Center, surrounded by his family.

Mr. Howe, son of the late Ida Mae Ellsworth and Chester Kellogg Howe, was born on January 28, 1933 in Hartford and resided in Forestville for 30 years. He enjoyed carpentry, bird watching, fishing, drawing, and relished spending time with his adoring family.

Ralph was a master carpenter, maintenance technician, and a painter. He proudly served with the US Navy during the Korean War, achieving the rank of EN2 on the minesweeper “Verden” and played a substantial role in the experimental gas turbine engine program.

Mr. Howe is survived by his daughters; Valerie Jane Howe of Forestville and her fiancé Christopher Boyle of West Haven, Patricia Ann Howe and her fiancé David Wilkins of Bristol, Tiarra Christine Flusk and her husband Thomas of NJ and Kathy James Howe of Rockville; his son Ralph D. Howe, Jr. of Smithfield, RI; brother-in-law John Voiland, his stepsons Daniel LaCroix of Terryville and Robert LaCroix of San Diego, CA; his brother Gordon “Bob” Howe; eleven grandchildren, six great-grandchildren, numerous nieces and nephews and two daughters-in-laws, Linda Pleva and Margery Griffin.

In addition to his wife, he was predeceased by his brothers; Roy, Donald, Walter and Kenneth Howe; and his sisters June Lamothe, Betty Sirmans and Dorothea (Dot) Sullivan.

Special thank you to the supportive staff at Connecticut Hospice, the nurses and doctors at Smilow Cancer Center, and the employees at Hughes Health and Rehabilitation for their unwavering patience, care, and love that they gave.

A graveside service will be held on Saturday November 21, 2015 at 11 AM at Forestville Cemetery, Circle St. Bristol.

In lieu of flowers, memorial donations can be made in honor of Mr. Ralph Douglas Howe to: Closer To Free Smilow Cancer Hospital, c/o Office of Development, PO Box 1849
New Haven, CT 06508-9979 or online https://www.givetoynhh.org/closertofree

To leave an online message of condolences, share a memory or photo, please visit Ralph’s page at www.obrien-funeralhome.com

doxiesrock912

11-22-2015, 02:22 AM

Yesterday we said a temporary "goodbye" to my father. I am humbled by the love and support of family, friends, and neighbors who were with us. Dad was an amazing person who touched so many lives!.

It was unseasonably warm; the Navy Commander/pilot and the young service woman who performed the honor flag ceremony did so impeccably, as did the honor guard that played "Taps".
Thank you to the veterans from our local chapter for their attendance and presentation of a flag to stand at my parents' grave site.

Instead of breaking down like I anticipated, the beauty and perfection of the ceremony showcased the caring and pride that these service people and veterans take when donating their time to those who have passed and the surviving family was awe inspiring and I smiled through my tears.

Mom was cremated and dad's request was that she be in his arms when he passed and they're buried together. United once again forever.

The perfect sendoff to a man who will always shine in my heart and a testament to the love that my parents shared.

<3 I love you mom and dad <3

labblab

11-22-2015, 08:16 AM

Oh Val, you and your dad and your mom deserved this perfect sendoff and I am grateful that you were all three granted this honor. Two years ago, I attended the military burial of the partner of one of my dearest friends, and I, too, was so moved by the simple grace of the service and the kindness of the volunteers who took such care to ease the passage for their comrade as well as his loved ones. I will never forget that service. I know you will never, ever forget this service for your dad.

Again, I send so many warm thoughts and healing hugs your way, Val. I can only imagine how different the coming holidays may feel to you this year. But I hope that your loving memories will continue to warm your heart, always.

Marianne

doxiesrock912

11-22-2015, 08:08 PM

Marianne, you are absolutely correct! Even the precision that the commander displayed while he saluted my father was amazing! Almost robotic in flawlessness. Dreading Thanksgiving actually. My fiance's mother is here and I like her, but part of me would like to not run halfway across the state again since I'd been doing so for the past month and a half every day.

I feel like I could sleep for a week! Kitties and Bella will not let me.

labblab

11-23-2015, 07:47 AM

I feel like I could sleep for a week! Kitties and Bella will not let me.
Ain't that the truth -- the critters really do come to rule our lives! ;)

Sometimes that feels like a curse, but often it is actually a blessing in disguise (at least for me), because it forces me to get up and greet each new day -- even on those mornings when my spirits are flagging and my heart is hurting. I know they need me, and that gives me purpose to go ahead and get my butt in gear. And sometimes that is quite a great gift. :o

Marianne

doxiesrock912

11-23-2015, 01:23 PM

I wouldn't have it any other way. ♡

addy

11-26-2015, 09:41 AM

My thoughts are with you today, Val, sending big hugs.

doxiesrock912

11-26-2015, 02:39 PM

Thank you Addy. Hope you have a wonderful TG.

doxiesrock912

12-17-2015, 03:42 PM

Thanksgiving was fine. Chris' mom was visiting from VA. I like his parents. We're having unseasonably warm weather in CT. Loving it!!!

Missing the good night phone calls from dad. Unless he couldn't talk or fell asleep early, he called me from wherever he was. I loved that.

My sister came to the funeral with a drug addict friend instead of her fiancee. They didn't come to the house after with the rest of us. No one told her fiancée's family that dad had passed. That upsets me since they got along well.

Now it's time to find a job.

Hope everyone has an amazing holiday!

doxiesrock912

12-23-2015, 01:34 AM

THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS
AT RAINBOW BRIDGE

'Twas the night before Christmas, at Rainbow Bridge too.
We Bridgekids were thinking as always of you.
We'd seen how the holidays weren't bright this year,
Heard you whisper so often, "I wish you were here!"

We know how you wish you could just stay in bed
And sleep through the holiday lying ahead,
When all celebrate with their loved ones so near...
Unless they have loved ones on this side this year.

But we're no less alive here, on the other side.
If you could just see us, you'd've laughed and not cried.
The dogs all in harness, pulling the sleigh.
The cats all in Santa hats pointing the way.

The pet birds all flying back over the rainbow,
Bound homeward in spite of Earth's darkness and snow.
All the pets that you've lost, pets for whom you've cried,
Flying home on this Christmas to be by your side.

If you feel warm fur brush you when no pet's around,
Hear a soft bark or purr, just a ghost of a sound,
We're trying to tell you we're visiting this way,
And our visits, even rainbows, can be on any day.

But for Christmas we have something special to do,
A sleighful of happy dream visits for you.
On doggy, on kitty, on winged friend and ferret!
The love that you lavished, we mean now to share it!

We're fetching that love home, the way we once played,
With the closeness we shared and the memories we made.
Our Earth lives with you were too short for us, too,
And on this Christmas Eve we have so much to do.

So all through this night as you sleep in your beds,
Sweet visions of furbabies dance in your heads.
This one special night we can bring you Home for a while,
Your true home in Heaven, where again you will smile.

Over the rainbow you'll fly, for a short while this night,
Hours that you'll be happy, hours that will feel right,
Hours to cuddle and hug us, to run and to play,
Before the return to Earth in our magic way.

And when you awaken and face Christmas Day,
We pray you'll remember your trip on our sleigh,
But in case you forget, just remember our love.
Remember us watching you, your angels above.

Sending love wrapped in rainbows, shining and bright,
Love that will guide you through the darkest night,
Love found in each memory unwrapped through the year,
Replacing dark sorrows with Christmas cheer.

Leave the toys to St. Nick, we Bridgekids bring dreams,
Sweet visits to remind you all is not as it seems
When you look all around you with tired Earthly eyes.
If you saw as we do, there'd be joy and surprise.

There are furangels waiting by those Christmas trees,
Always there for you and hearing your pleas.
We're never more than a thought away from your home,
You're never forgotten, you're never alone.

Nor are we alone here, with our Rainbow Bridge friends.
We know only joy here, the celebrating never ends,
And after our reunions with you Christmas Eve,
We Bridgekids will party like you'd never believe.

But we'll slip away often to be by your side.
Sitting there watching you, eyes open wide,
Praying you'll be able to catch a glimpse of us, too.
But whether or not you see us - Merry Christmas to you!

- Cindy Morgan (2007)