moving

[gummysmurf]

Hi guys,

I've been having some difficulty ever since I lost Baxter and kind of wanted to talk about the latest thing. Monday will be 3 weeks I guess. I feel fine most of the time but life is definitely different. I think I'm mostly just lonely and I look for things to distract myself. I decided early on that I want to get another boxer, and in order to get one I have to sell my condo and buy a new place (HOA no longer allows large dogs). I've been furiously trying to find a new condo, getting financing figured out, and stressing out about everything. Work is crazy, I'm really behind on some projects, and I'm stressed about buying a place before selling my current one. I'm also stressed about all the work I will need to do to move - and about the extra debt I'm going to be getting into. Well anyway, I found a place and I need to make an offer tomorrow or lose it. Someone else has already made an offer and it's such a good deal I don't want to miss out.

But here's the thing...where I am now...I have eight years of memories with Baxter right here. My front porch is where Baxter took his last breath. It's where we cuddled on the couch, where I fed him and bathed him and chased him around. Where he greeted me at the door every day. And I suddenly feel, tonight, this huge overwhelming sense of loss. I feel as if I'm betraying his memory by wanting to leave this place and I'm so sad about leaving. But I know I have to go, because to be happy I need another boxer. So what do I do? How can I stop being sad as if I'm severing the last piece of Baxter I have left? I feel as if I've been in limbo, and my life will only start again after I move and get settled and get another dog, it's like I need to fill this hole in my life in order to be happy. I feel lost.

[Harley PoMMom]

In no way should you feel any guilt about moving on, this is what Baxter would of wanted for you. No matter where you live, ALL of your loving memories of Baxter are going to be carried within your heart.

I do understand how you feel, change is always a hard thing to do but just know that Baxter loves you so much and you love him, and nothing will ever change that.

Sending huge and loving hugs, Lori

[addy]

Baxter is coming with you no matter where you may go for Baxter lives on in your heart and soul.

I am a bit worried about therapists always telling people not to make drastic moves after losing a loved one but in this case it seems like the right thing to do.

Go for it:D

[milosmom]

my mantra in life is everything happens for a reason... may you get your answers soon...wishing you peace and happiness patty(milo)meka xoxox

[mytil]

I know it is incredibly hard to think of leaving the place that you and Baxter spent so many happy years. But I also know that Baxter will be with you no matter where you are physically, so you are not severing the ties or bond if you do move.

One thing you may do is take pictures of everything and everywhere Baxter spent time and make an album so you can look at it anytime you want and the memories will be clearly visual always.

I am one of those who think that if your offer is accepted above the other one, you were meant to move but if not then the time is not right just yet.

Will your HOA allow you to foster another boxer? Telling them it will not be permanent.

Keep us posted
My continued (((hugs)))
Terry

[gummysmurf]

I knew you guys would make me feel better. Thank you =) Terry, the HOA is pretty inflexible on the pet policy. I asked them to continue making an exception for me since I already had a boxer but they said no. I really like the idea of taking pictures. I think you are right, it will help.

I truly appreciate you all!

[molly muffin]

I couldn't agree more than with those who say that Baxter goes with you no matter where you are. He is in your heart , your experiences with him are in your memories. Those things live on forever within you. You are Baxters greatest link to the life he led.
Hugs!
Sharlene and Molly Muffin

[gummysmurf]

Holy smokes! They accepted my offer. I'm terrified! And sad. There will be no trace of Baxter there.

This is what I've just agreed to purchase:
http://clickscape.com/3104-Queen-Anne-Court-Atlanta-GA

[milosmom]

don't be silly !!! of course there will be !!!his beautiful face in frames around the place will be fabulous,or a spot in the garden to call "his place"...you see baxter has given you the go ahead to continue on and spread your love to another fortunate boxer baby(or 2)...like i said,everything happens for a reason.....peace patty(milo)meka xoxox ;)

[molly muffin]

It's beautiful!!! Baxter would love it. Remember, he lives on through you. :)

Hugs,
Sharlene

[mytil]

I think Baxter will like this new home too. I know he will be laying by the fireplace on those cold winter nights. He will be with you.

Terry

[SoggyDoggy]

Love doesn't have to be tangible to be real, and therefor it doesn't have to be fixed to one location. Baxter will be with you wherever you go, and if it gives you some comfort, then put his bed in a place you think he would love in the new place, his photos above the fired place or on the kitchen servery. The new place is beautiful, I think he'd love it, and the fact that it has happened so fast, to me, means he wants you to do it. Like Terry, I think this was meant to be, so relax about your decision and let it happen.

[addy]

Yup, meant to be, no question about it. The new digs are beautiful and Baxter of course is going with you and maybe the new house will help envoke all the good memories of him.

We'll help you move. I get to drive the UHaul!!!!!:D:D:D First dibs!!!!

[gummysmurf]

LOL at Addy. I picture everyone here as their icon, so I'm imagining a small fluffy eared dog driving a U-haul. They do say that dogs and their people look alike!

I'm not grappling with leaving so much now, although I imagine I'll have my moments as I begin to pack. It occured to me that I wouldn't be the slightest bit sentimental about leaving this place if Baxter were coming with me. We'd go and never look back. Baxter just wanted to be where I was. Somehow thinking that helps. Baxter wasn't attached to this place. He was attached to me, and I'll never forget him no matter where I am.

I finally got the gumption to let him get cremated. Did I mention that he's been frozen like Dr. Evil in that Austin Powers movie? I went to see him one last time, and that last time was enough. I thought to myself that Baxter would HATE being stuck there with strangers if he knew what was going on, and so I told the cremation people to do it. Ashes arrived in the mail Monday. I don't feel a particular connection with the ashes per say, but I like knowing that all the parts of him that are left in the world are with me. His collars, his toys, his paw print, and the little tin box that holds his ashes.

[Simba's Mom]

What a sad and happy story combined, sad for your beautiful Baxter, but happy for you and your move and hopefully new pup. Before I got my Doxie Simba, I had a Doxie named Belle, she was gorgeous and I loved her so much. When I first got Simba, I resented him because he was not like my Belle who was perfect in every way, and was the best dog ever. Simba is so different, and now I feel that he is perfect in every way, doesn't mean I don't miss my Belle, but it's ok to love another beautiful dog who needs me. My Belle is still with me and she has been gone a lot of years, just like your Baxter, he will always be with you in your heart and in all those precious memories! Take care, another dog needs you, and you will find just the right one with Baxter's help!