Advice wanted 12 y/o female Staffordshire bull terrier (update: Tia has passed)

[Mel-Tia]

I need some advice about conditions which can develop as a result of cushings

Tia was diagnosed feb 2010 after she developed Calcinosis cutis and has been treated with vetoryl relatively successfully for the last two years we have had to change the dose up and down a few times and give her 30 mg twice a day which seemed to be working, however over the course of the last few months her skin condition has returned despite the fact her ACTH has been normal (last two results post: 143 and 110)

Her cholesterol and alkp have remained high throughout this time

I took her to a specialist who said we should do a CT to see if her tumour has grown however we couldn't afford to do that as her insurance has nearly run out and I could be made redundant this week, she isn't showing neurological signs in my opinion more like discomfort of some description.

She has all the symptoms of pancreatitis (shaking after eating, really thirsty, loss of appetite some days) but that test has just come back normal, while we were waiting for that I cut out all fat apart from chicken and that has seemed to help her behaviour settle down but I am at loss as to where to go now as I am sure she has something tummy related which is impacting how she metabolises her tablets

She always seems to have a dry mouth and i didnt know if that means anything, she was 16.5kg when this all started and she is now 14.5

Any advice anyone could give me on where to go or who to talk to or what I should be testing for as i am at my wits end

Thank you

Mel and Tia

[lulusmom]

Hi and welcome to the forum.

Was the last acth stimulation test done after Tia's symptoms returned? If not, that is the first thing that should be done. Did your specialist do a full blood chemistry and urinalysis to rule out other possible conditions? In my opinion, the symptoms you posted are not screaming uncontrolled. UC Davis, a renown veterinary teaching hospital, has done their own extensive studies on Vetoryl (trilsotane) and they admittedly have dogs whose excessive drinking and peeing never resolved, despite satisfactory control of cortisol. Dr. David Bruyette, a renown veterinary endocrine much prefers treating his patients over Lysodren but he readily admits that they have had poor results in seeing resolution of calcinosis cutis in dogs being treated with Vetoryl.

I agree with you on not incurring the cost of a CT scan at this point. If a dog on twice daily dosing has well controlled cortisol and is not showing neuro signs consistent with an expanding macro tumor, I'm not making a connection between the symptoms you are seeing and and the size of a pituitary tumor.

It is known that Vetoryl can and does increase one or more of the intermediate adrenal/sex hormones and these hormones can cause identical symptoms to those associated with excess cortisol. My dog had sky high elevations in all of the intermediate hormones yet showed no outward symptoms. That's not to say that every dog tolerates those elevations well so it's possible that it is this that is causing Tia's problems.

Glynda

P.S. I forgot to ask how soon after eating does Tia start shaking? Is this like a muscle tremor or does it appear that she is really weak for a while and then comes out of it? How long does the shaking last?

[Sabre's Mum]

Welcome Mel and Tia!

I just wanted to touch base whilst I am trying to research a few things for you .... google just will not bring up all the articles which years ago I read so diligently. My dear Hungarian Vizsla, Sabre, had calcinosis cutis and was treated with Lydsodren for approximately two years before he passed away. You are the second owner who is treated with Vetoryl, had previously had the calcinosis cutis clear up and now has it re-occurring (Ugga is the other dog). I am currently trying to research to see what I can find out ... but have not been able to successfully find anything that has been helpful.

There are comments made by various vets ... Ellen Behrend, , VMD, PhD, Diplomate ACVIM, Auburn University who says that calcinosis cutis may never fully resolve with treatment with Vetoryl .... also David Bruyette (if I recall correctly) has not had good results with Vetoryl and calcinosis cutis.

What I am trying to get my head around is why, over time, after a resolution of the calcinosis cutis under treatment, it rears it head when numbers are in range? Firstly, my gut feeling with Vetoryl and calcinosis cutis you need to be on twice daily dosing ... this is my personal opinion ... I am not a vet but my thought is that you need total control and no fluctuations. You are doing this. I know with Sabre, although treated with Lysodren, he needed things to be reasonably constant ... in a range or the calcinosis cutis plates would be "itchy". I should add that this was his healed plates with hair on. Sabre's calcinosis cutis was always there ... it healed over but was on the surface of the skin with hair. When he went low and went on a Lysodren holiday for 4 months we noticed that his calcinosis cutis annoyed him more than usual although his cortisol levels took four months to reach levels we could recommence treatment (between 2 and 3 post ACTH if I recall correctly .... multiply by 27.59 to get the numbers you are used to).

Has Tia had any recent bloodwork done? I wonder whether her serum calcium levels or phosphate levels are elevated. However, from the Merck Veterinary manual "The mineral deposits occur despite normal blood calcium and phosphorus levels probably because of the gluconeogenic and protein catabolic actions of cortisol". In humans there are different types of calcinosis cutis some have elevated levels of calcium and phosphorous whilst other types are normal. I did read ... and now I cannot find the reference that elevated calcium causes increase thirst and increased urination.

So I am at a loss why we now have two cases on this forum. Perhaps the Tia needs to have a certain range and have some consistency. With the last ACTH result of 110 (3.98 ug/dL) do you see the calcinosis cutis getting worse, better or the same?

I am sorry that I do not have the answers for you. Perhaps you could contact Dechra directly and see if you can get any answers from them.

Angela and Flynn

[Mel-Tia]

Hi Glynda

Thanks for replying. The last test was after her skin condition reappeared. I usually do their in house test the one which checks the kidneys etc every 3 months when she has her ACTH test. I am not sure what the blood chemistry test covers?

I know she has always had high cholesterol and alkp over the last two years despite controlled ACTH results. She had a liver function test last year as her levels were low after our summer holiday but that all came back ok

The shaking comes on straight after eating usually just her back legs and not uncontrollably but it lasts around 20 mins, I wonder if it was her tablet so I left it out tonight and gave it a little later but the shaking still happened, it's like she is waiting for the food to make her feel bad

Periodically Tia's doesnt seem to be able to control her temperature so i have to put a fan on overnight to keep her comfortable which her brother does not appreciate now it's winter!

She also seems to be more uncomfortable going big jobs and has to run around to kick start the process which has never been the case ( this has started just recently)

We did a urine anaylsis when i did the last ACTH and that was ok slightly dilute but within range

I am going to get some of her results to post here tomorrow as any guidance or thoughts from people with experience of this condition would be very much appreciated as I feel so helpless as present

Thank you again

Mel and Tia x

[Mel-Tia]

Hi Angela

Thank you for taking the time answer and to research I don't feel like my vet has done that much although she has spoken to the vetoryl manufacturer in the uk and they didnt have much in the way of advice to offer, they suggested the referral

The internal medicine vet said she was 85% sure it was a macro and not really willing to discuss what the other 15% was, I really didn't feel like she had looked at Tias info as she gave me a fact sheet for dogs just diagnosed and we have been dealing with this ok for 2 years so that wasn't very appropriate imo. We did have her blood pressure checked at that visit and it was normal

Her drinking and urination seem more under control since I stopped the high fat bits and she can go through the night without asking to go out which is good but I just feel whatever it is comes back every few days to upset her

I will ask about whether they have tested her Serum calcium and phosphorous levels when I get her other results tomorrow.

I think her skin is getting worse, I have cortavance to treat it to stop it itching her so much while we try and figure this out, she had it down her whole back from her neck to her bum last time and it breaks my heart to think it could come back like that

Thanks again

Mel and Tia x

[molly muffin]

Hello and Welcome. Did the Internal Medicine Specialist say Why she thought it was a macro tumor? None of the symptoms you have mentioned specifically cry out macro just reading them. Is there any sort of neurological abnormal happenings? Head tilt, rubbing at head, circling, dementia type symptoms, stuck in corners, hiding away, lost in the house that sort of thing?

Sharlene

[Mel-Tia]

Hi Sharlene

Tia wandered around the room the whole time she was at the consult and I think this is what made her suspect it plus her liver and cholesterol have never been managed.

Whenever she wanders around its for a purpose cause she is thirsty or hungry or needs a toilet, she doesn't seem to like to drink water from her bowl anymore she asks and I give it to her from a bottle, like her eyes aren't seeing the bowl right but she eats her food from a bowl at the same height!

Tia definitely isn't right as tonight again she is whining for no reason and her belly was gurgling like crazy and the shakes started

I wish I knew what was going on I feel so bad for her, it's not her time yet and I need to get a handle on this

Mel and Tia x

[molly muffin]

I see what you mean, wondering around the office doesn't really seem to indicate a macro, unless was also bumping into stuff and getting stuck in corners.
This does seem to be something internal, perhaps digestive system. You said the pacreatic test came back negative? the Spec cPL?

Do you have copies of all recent testing that you could post here? High/Low abnormals with ranges, include if it is nmol or ug ? That would help alot as everything is a combination of clinical testing and symptoms.

Sharlene

[Mel-Tia]

Ok her last results before I noticed the skin:27th sep

Biochemistry

Protein 64.9 g/l ref range 55.0-75.0
Albumin 31.9 g/l ref range 25.0-40.0
Globulin 33.0 g/l ref range 20.0 -45.0
Ag ratio 0.97 ref range 0.60 - 1.50
Urea 5.2 mmol/l ref range 2.5 - 6.7
Creatine 58.4 unmol/L ref range 20.0 -150
Alt 219.4 U/L ref range 5.0-60.0
Alk phosphatase 2463.1 ref range U/L <=130.0
Cholesterol 8.10 mmol/L ref range 3.20 -6.20
Sodium 143.8 mmol/L ref range 135.0-155.0
Potassium 4.5 mmol/L ref range 3.60 -5.60
Sodium potassium ratio 31.96 ref range 28.80-40.00
Chloride 107.1 mmol/L ref range 100-116.0

Pre ACTH 59.9 ref range 25.0 - 125.0 nmol/l
Post 148 ref range 125.0-520

After skin condition appeared: 30th oct

Pre 76.1
Post 115.0

they didnt do a bio test then not sure why as I always say to do all the tests they can, I have results back to the beginning now if anybody has any ideas or wants me to look at something

Spec PL 161 ug/L ref range <=200

Thank you to you all for any advice you can give me and my little girl Tia this is slowly breaking my heart and I can't stop getting upset as I don't think they are doing enough for her

Mel and Tia

[Sabre's Mum]

Mel ... there isn't unusually high for a cushings dog. The ALP is very high and so is the ALT and cholesterol. Have you every had a bile test done? (sorry trying to read quickly before the kids get out of bed and couldn't see it).

I am trying to rack my brain as to possibilities ... none of them may be right but .... things that come to mind. The trembling after eating could indicate a digestion or "gas" issue, or an upset stomach from the Trilostane. Has Tia's diet changed in anyway recently?

I also agree that it is unlikely the wandering around the consult room is indication of a macro tumour and Sharlene has given you symptoms where macros are the case.

All the best
Angela and Flynn

[Mel-Tia]

Hi Angela

I am not sure about the bile test, I have that many pages of info what will it be labelled as?

Yes her diet has changed, she was on a dry food then she didn't want it at all, she has been a fussy eater for the last 4 or 5 mths for no reason only thing she really likes is chicken, she has boiled chicken with a commercial wet food that's what the vet recommended.

Do you guys make your own food as I think that's what I should be doing for Tia but my vet has no info and told me to check the Internet! She is now convinced its also a macro and basically told me there was nothing else they could really do as dropping her vetoryl will aggravate her cushings but increasing it will help her skin but potentially aggravate the adeoma

I am not sure what I should do now

Mel and Tia x

[molly muffin]

You ask them to do a bile test. I'm not sure what it would be labeled as, but it is specific for liver bile and liver disease.
Or, you find yourself another specialist at another clinic and take all your labs and go in for a consult and another opinion. I'm just flabbergasted that they would write it off as a macro without any symptoms or MRI or something that would suggest it.

Has there ever been an ultrasound done? If not that is probably the one thing that I'd want done, so as to see, the liver, adrenal glands, kidney, gall bladder, everything.

I know this is very frustrating to try and figure out but again, it just doesn't make sense to me.

hugs,
Sharlene

[Mel-Tia]

Hi Sharlene

She had an ultrasound as part of her diagnosis

Her notes say the following;

Left adrenal cranial pole 9cm, right adrenal cranial pole 1cm, slight enlargement consistent with pituitary HAC. Both are normal in texture and shape, liver,gall bladder, spleen,left and right kidney,bladder,stomach,intestines,pancreas,lymph nodes, peritoneum all normal

She had a heptatic function test last year and that was all normal

Notes say: Bast 3.3 (n) post 13.1 (0.1-10) Tbil 1.7 (n) while the post prandial bile acids are mildly increased this result is not suggestive of significant heptatic functional impairment and need not be associated with difuse heptatic changes

I spoke to a different vet yesterday and I am going to drop off all her info to them, he also mentioned a different internal medicine specialist

I think we are onto something with the food so I will keep pushing, as she seems good the last couple of days, I didn't mix proteins just chicken meat and chicken dog food and she is calmer

Thanks everyone for your support

Mel and Tia x

[molly muffin]

I reread your thread and I'm curious as to whether or not she still can't seem to put her head down and drink out of her bowl or if she still wants her water from a bottle? That is the only thing you've mentioned behavioral wise that could be consistent with a macro tumor. Since it could also be consistent with an inner ear infection or something going on with the ear and balancing, there would also need to be other symptoms suggestive, which I still don't see.
Interesting about the proteins. I think another specialist would be good to have a consult from. I'm always leery when there doesn't seem to be a desire to pursue what "could be" wrong, against an immediate "this is what it is" idea.

Others can better address the food issue/idea as my molly is on SO to encourage her to drink so she doesn't form crystals and I haven't changed that up very much. Just a bit once, after a bad spat with diarrhea, and now I sometimes will change up and mix in a mature small dog food when she starts not wanting the SO.

Sharlene

[Sabre's Mum]

Hi Mel

Sorry I didn't get back on here yesterday .... power cut whilst baking a cake ... and everything else did not make it possible! :)

The liver bile acid test is one specifically for the liver to test how it performs. I see that you had a heptatic function test last year and it was normal so I would not worry about doing further tests if these liver levels have been high for a while. It is usual for a cushings dog to have elevated ALP ... and some like mine did also have elevated ALT.

I do think Tia's change in diet may have had some effect on her digestion. As to why her calcinosis cutis is rearing it's ugly head again whilst being controlled ie "in range post ACTH" ... I am at a loss. Perhaps she just needs time and and may get better ... perhaps the 143 post was too high for Mia to control the calcinosis cutis?

Angela and Flynn

[Mel-Tia]

I found a VCA article today that said in rare cases diabetes can cause Calcinosis cutis, she has never been tested and her glucose results have risen over the months

Maybe that explains why her ACTH results are controlled but her skin has flared up.....

Link:

http://www.vcahospitals.com/main/pet-health-information/article/animal-health/skin-calcinosis-circumscripta-and-cutis/590

I am going to take her to the other vet for a test on Monday, do you know how they do this one? Will she need to be fasted?

Will keep you all posted

Sharlene - she doesn't want to drink from the bowl but she will eat food from a bowl the same height! She stands in front on it but it's like she can't judge how far to go down, I thought it might be her eyes as the smell of food would guide her to the right place. I said this to my vets but I think it went in one ear and out the other as I ask too many things and have too much of an opinion I think they are sick of me!

Mel and Tia x

[Sabre's Mum]

Hi Mel

I read this article the other day ... I did a little searching just now and have not come across a case of a dog with diabetes who presents with calcinosis cutis. I do wonder if they are relying on human presentations whereby calcinosis cutis has arisen when the patient has diabetes mellitius. There are rare cases where calcinosis cutis has presented in dogs where some other illness has been the cause but there are only three or four reported cases.

I see no harm in testing Mia if you do believe that her glucose is trending higher. She will need to be fasted.

Take care
Angela and Flynn

[Mel-Tia]

Hi all

I was wondering, have any other Cush mums had issues with long term use of vetroyl, I am thinking it might be the tablets that are making her feel funky

She does get some of the side affects such as the weak legs and uti's and she is occasionally sick, the shakes also more these days.

Maybe I am clutching at straws here but just wanted your opinions before I tackle it with my vet

Thanks

Mel and Tia x

[frijole]

Hello! I never used it but from reading here since it was first introduced to the US we've noticed that YES in fact sometimes dogs on the same dose for years go low - meaning that the cortisol is too low and the dosage needs to be reduced.

Get an appt asap for an acth test. When was the last time you had one done? It's the only way to know where the cortisol is. With all you mentioned it sure sounds like it.

Kim

[Mel-Tia]

Last one was 30th Oct before the referral and it was post 110 which was low for her, when I spoke to the vet the other day she was dismissive when I mentioned that she said it was doubtful Tia would go to low, I am assuming she thinks that cause of the Calcinosis cutis?

I don't think Tia can actually handle the affects of the medicine anymore like all the side affects are her bodies way of saying no more, has that happened to anyone else?

I am waiting for vet to call me

Mel and Tia x

[Mel-Tia]

If that is the case and she cant have vetoryl,vet said she wouldn't use the miotane so what would we do then?

Sorry I meant to say thank you everyone for the replies as I haven't recently, hope all your pups are doing well x

[frijole]

I'm sorry I wasn't clear - I wasn't suggesting to cease trilostane but rather LOWER the dosage should the cortisol be low. I have to get ready for work so don't have time to convert the acth result that you just posted but hopefully someone else will pick up where I left off.

Note you can't just switch over to lysodren - you'd need to wait for 30 to 45 days but like I said I wouldn't give up on trilostane yet. If you were low the last test then that would explain it and you don't need to do another test.

Gotta run - I'll check in later. Good luck!

Kim

[Mel-Tia]

That is within acceptable levels our range is 50-200 so that was lower for T ( last one 148, one before was 152)

The vet said if anything we should increase it cause of her skin but that could aggravate the macro (if that's what it is)

it's just the more I look at what is going on and the more I think about it the more it seems like her body is struggling with this medicine

I don't know if she could handle miotane so I wondered if we had any other options and if anyone else has had to do something similar due to reactions from the vetoryl.

If I keep my job she will be scanned in January to know for sure although again my vet said it wouldn't make much difference as we would be stuck between treating her skin or aggravating the tumor

Mel and Tia x

[Mel-Tia]

I forgot to mention I tried to speak to dechra today to see if what they could tell me but they refused to talk to me, they don't talk to the public in the uk only vets

I am so frustrated everyone seems ok to keep taking our money but not to offer any help!

[molly muffin]

110nmol = 3.98ug
148nmol = 5.36ug
152nmol= 5.50ug

110 divided by 27.59 to get the ug (this is what most are use to seeing)

Saying that, the cortisol is within an acceptable range and not too low at the time of those test. However, if the dosage hasn't been changed during those tests, then it looks like the cortisol is still dropping and could go lower. These aren't numbers that normally would be of concern and is in fact, a good place for them as long as they don't end up dropping too low.
It could just be a reaction over time to the vetroyl as the shaking and hind leg weakness has been reported as a possible side effect.

Unfortunately there are only two drugs that work to lower the cortisol, trilostane and miotane.

Sharlene and Molly Muffin

[Mel-Tia]

I feel selfish coming on here and posting when I don't know any of you. I do know from reading all your threads that you all love your pups as much as I love mine

Tia does have a macro we didn't need to get the scan, we took her off the pills as they were definitely making her feel worse and we were coping with the drinking and peeing she never really became starving so I guess that was the first clue. Not long after she started hanging her head and wandering to the point now where I need to let her go

I am really struggling with this because she has been my main focus since she was diagnosed. Watching for every little breath, every change, if she looked funny all the things that I know you can relate to

My other half loves her very much but he doesn't get how I am feeling and I needed to share with people who do

Thank you if you read this and I really hope all your babies are well and having good days, I don't think i realised how much we take them for granted and I really don't know what I am going to do when she is gone

Mel and Tia xx

[mytil]

Oh Mel,

I do not think you are being selfish at all - not one single bit. You care so much for Tia and you are trying to help her and find answers.

I am very sorry she has a macro. I have not read completely through your thread to know the exact history but will shortly - have to run to work right now.

I know most certainly what you are feeling and am glad you posted again.

Back soon and I am sure others will chime in shortly
(hugs) Terry

[Mel-Tia]

Thanks Terry

I am playing her videos of beach walks and happy times so she can remember all the good before tomorrow

Trying not to be sad those videos ares while she was ok on her medicine and we wouldn't have had those memories without it

Mel and Tia xx

[molly muffin]

Oh dear, do not feel bad about coming here. It is what we are here for, to help where we can, offer support always. We know this disease is a tough one to deal with and it has so many different layers to it that you can feel very alone, even in the midst of a loving family when trying to handle it all.
My husband adores my molly, but he doesn't worry and watch her like I do. I think it is because we do all the watching and monitoring and just invest so much in trying to take care of them all the time, that it makes it so much harder when change does come around.
I'm really so sorry that it is a macro for sure and that you've had to stop the vetroyl That is sometimes the case with macro's though. One of our members ended up putting her furbaby on prednisone to help her until that time came. She had a macro too. This is her thread if you want to read through it. http://www.k9cushings.com/forum/showthread.php?t=3280&highlight=maya

I don't know if it will help you or not. We know that each person is just doing the best they can when it comes to the macro's, it is really hard with them to know what to do at any given time.


I have to get to work too.
Hugs,
Sharlene and Molly Muffin

[addy]

Cush moms and dads are not selfish and this is our safe place - to be able to come and vent, cry, laugh, ask for help, just talk; whatever a Cush parent needs. We are all in it togther.

I am so sorry to hear this news of Tia. Words cant stop the heartache. Every decision you have made has been made for Tia out of such great love and the last decision you make will be the greatest sacrifice you make for her.

((((((((((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))))))

[Squirt's Mom]

Aw, Mel,

You are family, you and Tia both are family. You are not selfish to come to us in this most difficult of times. Not at all, honey. This is what family is for - reaching out to in our darkest times and knowing without looking that someone will take your hand and walk with you through the darkness into light.

Hugs and gentle belly rubs,
Leslie and the gang

[Mel-Tia]

Thanks for all your kind words

I knew that you all would be able to relate

I talked with my vet and ims re the pred and cause Tia's skin was already bad they thought it wouldnt be an option for her as it would have made that progress quicker

I know this is the best for her I just wish we had some more time

I will log onto the computer later and upload a photo so you can see my little princess.

Thanks again

Mel and Tia xx

[mytil]

My continued (((hugs))) Mel and big smoochies to Tia girl from all of us!!!!

Terry

[Mel-Tia]

This time tomorrow she won't be here and that is really breaking my heart

[Mel-Tia]

And as I write this her brother comes in and drops a ball by my feet oblivious to what is happening, he has never grown up( he has had cancer 3 times but going strong)

I am so grateful i still have him

[Squirt's Mom]

Hold her, love on her, give her all the things she loves to eat, let her try new things to eat, take her to see her favorite people and places, give her the best day ever and share each and every moment of that day with her. Know we are right by your side today and tomorrow and every day after.

My heart goes out to you both.
Hugs,
Leslie and the gang

[Harley PoMMom]

You and Tia are in my thoughts and prayers, sending huge and loving hugs...Lori

[Mel-Tia]

Thank you every one I do appreciate all your words

Trying not to crumble but struggling. You don't want to lose them cause you love them but you have to let them go cause you love them. Doesn't feel fair

She is sleeping on top of her daddy right now they are both snoring their heads off. It the little things that keep getting to me

Mel and Tia xx

[addy]

more hugs Mel, we are still here with you, sweetie. Talk away, we will listen.

[Mel-Tia]

I am glad I found you all albeit later than most in our journey.

I don't think that anyone other than you guys can relate to how this feels.

My whole life has revolved around her and her numbers and her health and poo and all the other things we look out for over the last 3 years and in less than 12 hours it all stops

Mel and Tia xx

[Squirt's Mom]

But the love the two of you share will never end, Mel, never. It will remain for all eternity, linking you with Tia and she with you always.

Many teary hugs,
Leslie and the gang

[Mel-Tia]

I appreciate you all even more as I know my words trigger some of your own painful memories.

I do read the threads and have shed tears for Baxter and Lulu and looked out for Flynn and Zoe's surgery and Cheys blood pressure. And am looking for Normans results. My dog before Tia was a Tara so i was glad to read she was ok after the other night

I may not have said much but I have been here since my first posting. Sorry if I missed naming everyone's babies there are lots of threads to keep up with xx

It amazes me always how tough they really are.

Thank you for being here for me and Miss Tia xxx

[Mel-Tia]

I do feel rubbish that she did end up with a macro. That getting stuck in corners just about rips your heart out.

I know I should be grateful for the time the medicine did give us and it could just have grown on its own given her brothers history but it has been really hard to take.

[frijole]

:( I'm so sorry you are going thru this. It is the toughest thing in the world. I lost my baby almost a year ago but the pain is still there. I sat her on my lap during our final days and I thanked her. I took out old photos and went down memory lane with her thanking her and talking about all of the good times together. It was very helpful for me. Hard but helpful because I remembered the happy things we did together and I talked about it to/with her.

I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers in the coming days. Give your baby a big hug and kiss for me. Sending strength and love, Kim

[addy]

awww Mel, the bond is strong anyway but the Cush pups and their parents, well, the bond is even stronger. Makes it harder to say goodbye. You have lived and breathed Tia for so long.

Yes it stinks, the macro, and it isnt fair and you fought the battle with heart and soul. But now just love her and put the bad past away.

It is what we all have faced and/or will face.

Tell her you love her.

and thanks for caring about Zoe and following her surgery.

[molly muffin]

My heart just breaks for you and Tia. It is always the little things that seem to really get to us the most. :(

We'll be thinking of you through this really difficult time.

hugs,
Sharlene and Molly Muffin

[Mel-Tia]

She still wants snuggles thank goodness she went through a stage before she was diagnosed where she didn't want to be close but that didn't last long.

Her little head fits perfectly in the hook of my neck and I am trying to get as many of those cuddles in as I can

Thank you all again for supporting us x

[Mel-Tia]

We had a peaceful night she woke me up for drinks and wees but wanted to be straight back next to me snuggling her face right up to mine like she knew

She woke at 07:30 for a nice drink then I settled her back and she had a little dream cause I could see her little eyebrows twitching. This was until her brother woke her up barking but she did settle again briefly

It started to lightly snow so we took them both for a little wander to their place and then drove around until she was fast asleep and snoring we had arranged for them to do it in the car as she loved the car.

I held her arm to help get a vein then released it so she could be set free. She did jerk a little when he stuck it in but I told her it was medicine to help and she seemed to be ok with that. It was very peaceful and she did not have a clue which is some small blessing

We carried her in and tickled all her soft spots one last time before the ever so sensitive vet made the poor man who did it ask us to pay. So she was consistent right to the end. When I go collect her ashes I will be saying something about that

I hope she is scamping pain free now

Mel and Tia xx

[Mel-Tia]

Her brother hasn't noticed yet. I hope he will be ok

[addy]

Oh Mel,

I am so, so sorry. Crying with you this morning as we say until another day to Tia. It is not good bye, you know, never is it good bye, just until we meet again.

[mytil]

Oh Mel,

I am so very sorry - my heart is with you. Please do stay with us as we know exactly what you are, and will be going, through.

((((hugs))))
Terry

[Mel-Tia]

It's not even been 3 hours and it feels so long since I saw her

[Mel-Tia]

Tonight will be worse as I have slept with her for months because she wouldnt drink out of the bowl

I just don't know what to do with myself

[addy]

Allow the pain, but maybe try to focus on your other pup somehow. Try to distract yourself if you can. Or maybe just let it all out today, allow all those feelings and know it is okay to do nothing today but acknowledge your loss.

Mel, mourning the passing of a loved one is so unique to each individual. I do know after my father died, I never allowed myself to grieve properly, I was too busy holding the family together and I think I developed post traumatic stress syndrome.

So sometimes, it is just okay to sit quietly and acknowledge the loss.

We are all here with you Mel. I'm home for another few hours and then have to brave the snow to go to work.

[molly muffin]

Mel! HUGS. Sharing your tears this morning here in Canada. It sounds so peaceful.

hugs,
Sharlene and Molly Muffin

[Boriss McCall]

Im so sorry for your loss. Hugs to you.. :(

[Mel-Tia]

Thank you all for caring

We don't get snow very often here and she loved it when she was well so I took it as a sign it was the right time

[Squirt's Mom]

Dear Mel,

The tears are flowing freely for you and the great loss you now face. This step we so often are asked to take is one of such intense love and deep pain, both present at the same time. Tia is free from her confusion, fear, and pain now. She is as she was before she got sick, as she was always meant to be. This morning she is running in the Rainbow Fields feeling the wind in her face and the grasses bending under her paws. Her thoughts are clear and her body strong once again. You gave this gift of freedom to her at the very moment your heart was shattering into a million pieces. What greater love could there be?

I am so glad you got to snuggle with Tia and feel her face pressed so close to yours again, sharing breath and dreams. Cherish that feeling, let it help you heal, let it remind you in the dark times to come how very much you are loved. Let it become a promise that Tia will one day lay her head by yours again. And when that time comes, the two of you will never be parted.

Our deepest sympathies,
Leslie, Squirt, Trinket, Brick, Sophie, and our Angels, Ruby, Crystal, and Tasha


A Simple Message From Your Pet
by Ken D. Conover

To have loved and then said farewell is better than to have never loved at all.
For all of the times that you stooped and touched my head, fed me my favorite treat and
returned the love that I so unconditionally gave to you. For the care that you gave to me
so unselfishly. For all of these things I am grateful and thankful. I ask that you grieve
not for the loss but rejoice in the fact that we lived, loved and touched each other's lives.
My life was fuller because you were there, not as owner, but as my friend. Today, I am
as I was in my youth. The grass is always green, butterflies flit among the flowers and
the sun shines gently down upon all of God's creatures. I can run, jump and play
and do all of the things that I did in my youth. There is no sickness, no aching joints
and no regrets and no aging. We await the arrival of our lifelong companions and know
that togetherness is forever. You live in our hearts as we do in yours. Companions such
as you are very rare and unique. Don't hold the love that you have within yourself.
Give it to another like me and then I will live forever. For love never really dies,
and you are loved and missed as surely as we are.

Your pet in heaven, Tia.

[Mel-Tia]

Molly

It really was peaceful and I feel so grateful we could do that for her, she hated that vets so at least she didn't know she was there

I recorded her snores before we said we were there and we got to talk to her for about 15 mins as we were late as we wanted her to be asleep before we went there

Thanks to you all again for the tears you have shed for us, I think addy hit it spot on yesterday when she said about our bond with our Cush pups its just stronger because they needed us more

The house is a tip so I might do something constructive and just let my tears flow I can't seem to stop them anyway

Xx

[Mel-Tia]

I haven't been able to move. I feel so lost without her

[addy]

hugs sweetie, hugs and prayers and lots of love

We are here with you holding you tight, Mel. I wish I could be with you, to hold you close.

Do you want to talk about Tia? Maybe tell me a favorite memory?

[scoora]

Mel-I am so sorry to hear about your sweet girl, Tia. My tears are flowing as I read these posts. I am not good with words like the others on here but I want you to know we all care so much and am so sorry to hear this. My thoughts and prayers are with you. Big, big hug!

[Mel-Tia]

Tia was a big dreamer. She would wag her tail in her sleep. I always wondered what she was dreaming about

I have two videos of that and I have watched them over and over cause she must have been a happy girl to do that

Thank you all for understanding

[scoora]

Mel-It sounds like Tia was a very happy girl. My Scoop does these little barking noises when he's dreaming. I often wonder what he dreams about. The thought of Tia doing that brings a smile to my face and I haven't done that much lately. Hope you have many more wonderful things to look back on about your sweet girl.
We do understand.
Lots of love and hugs to you.

[Roxee's Dad]

Dear Mel,
I am so very sorry for Tia's passing. I am certain that she knows how much she was loved and she will be watching over you. The tears will flow because the pain is so deep. The pain is so deep because the love was so deep.

Rest in Peace Sweet Tia, you are our newest and brightest star in the sky tonight........

[Sabre's Mum]

Mel,

I am so sorry for your loss of dearest Tia. My thoughts are with you.

Angela and Flynn

[Doccy]

Dear Mel,
I am sorry to hear of Tia's passing. She was such a lucky girl to receive all of your love for her journey. She'll be waiting for you.

Hugs,
Jessica and Doc

[Mel-Tia]

I am missing her so much I hate the fact I have all the sofa, I am used to having a postage stamp size due to her need to sleep across or behind me or wherever I was, she would actually kick out her back leg to make me move over. Shy was not in Tia's nature!

We took her brother back to the place we walked them together this morning and he seems ok, he only seems to want his daddy though so that makes me feel guilty.

I haven't really snuggled him much today as I didn't want to be sobbing all over him in case it made him feel bad.

[Mel-Tia]

The tops of my legs haven't been able to get warm all day.

I am imaging her spirit self is already back lying all over me as this is a curious sensation. Feet and calves feel warm.

I might be going mad but this does feel strange and in a weird way comforting like she is right where she should be

[milosmom]

hey there mel,just catching up on your story and wanted to send you my most heartfelt sympathy for the lose of your furbaby tia... know that you have given her the best times in life full of lots of love,hugs,kisses and fun.she will be held forever in your heart and it will take some time to heal from this great loss.sending you love,light,hugs and kisses patty(milo)meka xoxox

[SoggyDoggy]

Hi Mel,

I've only just caught up on your thread but am so sorry to hear of the loss of beautiful Tia. I know just what you mean about that foot kick "Move over Mum" and the draping across your lap. It's these little things that get you the most sometimes and can be so heartbreaking.

Once again, so sorry, my tears are running freely with yours and I wish I could give you a big hug. Do take care, and please keep those memories coming, while heartbreaking, they can also be comforting given time. I'm glad to hear you have lots of photos and video.

[Mel-Tia]

It feels so empty without her. I miss her so much

[molly muffin]

Mel

{{{{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}}

Sharlene

[Mel-Tia]

It's lightly snowing again today just like yesterday. It is 23 hours and it feels like a lifetime ago since we snuggled

Am watching her videos to remind me why I needed to let her go, she was such a chatty little madam when she was young and she didn't use her voice for the last few months

[addy]

Thinking of you this morning, Mel

((((((((((((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))))))))) )

[infoviewer]

So sorry for your loss Mel. Letting her run free is the greatest love anyone can have for their sweet furbabies. We all hope we have that much love when the time comes. She has crossed the Rainbow Bridge and will be waiting for you. No more pain, just running free like a puppy and remembering your love for her. Hugs, JoAnne

[Bo's Mom]

Hi Mel,
I am so sorry about your little Tia. Yes, I as do so many others understand your pain because I lost my little guy 2 weeks ago. It is a pain that unless you have loved someone as much as you loved your Tia, no one will understand. The wonderful people on this group offered me so much and all were here to hold my hand as we dealt with everything, Cushings or not. We all will be here for you too. Please accept our deepest sympathies....little Tia left her paw prints on your heart also.
I do want to say something about dealing with Tia's fur brother. I have a dog also who I think is grieving. He won't go to their "usual" spot anymore to go to the bathroom. He has now had to find another area in the yard. The first day without Bo, he actually went toward that area and something spooked him. I was lucky enough to get it on video. I do believe their spirit lives on through all of us, human and fur baby. So, give her brother all he wants, hold him, and love him like you always do. He is going to love all that attention and he deserves it....my Latte loves cuddling and just putting his wet nose on my ear as I sleep. Gotta love the feeling.
Peace and strength to you and your family.

[Trish]

Dear Mel

I am so sorry to read this about Tia, it rips my heart out to read about how sad you feel, gosh that little girl had a great Mum! My words seem so little when the grief you feel is so great. I wish I could offer you comfort, but I think that is a way away yet as you need to feel the raw grief of the loss of your baby, then after a while you can begin to heal and little by little remember all the happy things that make you smile when you think of your girl. It so sucks dogs have a short life, especially those we take such good care of and you really could not have taken better care of your little darling. I am thinking of you Mel and hope you feel the support we are sending to you at this sad time.
Trish and Flynn xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[Mel-Tia]

Tia is the reason we have her brother, he looked after her when they were puppies as she was the only girl and my dad had lost his dog so it seemed the right thing to do was to bring him too

Boyce kept whining when we used to take her home so within about 6 months he was coming home with her and the rest is history

At the moment he seems ok I am not sure if he knew she was going to be going before I did in the last week or so he would leave the area when she went for a wander

Thanks again to each and every one of you for your words and tears. I am pondering a cushings awareness event with a different vet so that we can do something positive in her memory. All a bit raw now but I think I would like to honour her and how much she touched me some way

Mel and Tia xx

[Trish]

You have honoured her already, by telling us how much you loved her xxxxxxx

[addy]

A Cushings awareness event is a wonderful idea, Mel. What a wonderful tribute to Tia.

[scoora]

Mel, Again I am so sorry. My heart aches. I read your thread this morning. My Scoop has a large tumor. He had an MRI in Nov. I could relate to things you said. Scoop is on Vetoryl. He has calcinosis cutis. Right now it is doing pretty good. A couple weeks ago he started getting picky with his food. He was NEVER a picky eater. He does love his chicken still and anything meaty. My husband doesn't understand how I am feeling and I think the vet is tired of me, too. I can't be sure but the other day I think she avoided me when I took Scoop for a weight check. I just wanted to tell you how I can relate to things I read in your post. Scoop is blind. So the neurological signs are/will be hard for us to tell. It is so heartbreaking. I am so sorry about your Tia.
Big hugs.

[Mel-Tia]

I spoke to the other vet when we were desperate for answers and he was a nice chap so I think I will do it with him

I am glad that I only have to go in her old vets one last time when I go to get her as I never want to see that woman again

I will be saying something when I do get her as we must have spent nearly 10 grand there over 3 years and she couldn't even let me leave the 200 for putting my princess to sleep. Nick didn't even make it back into the main waiting room he was just leaving the room where we took her. Cold and callous springs to mind, she shouldn't be a vet if she is in it for the money

I think I might have broken my tear ducts though as no more seem to be coming out. I do feel a bit better right now as we spent the morning looking through photos and videos to remind us of the good times

Thanks everyone for being here

Mel and Tia xx

[Mel-Tia]

Scoora Thank you for your kind words

I think it's difficult for our partners to understand as we are the ones who agonise over every little number and behaviour nuance as we spend the most time with them

Sudocream helped Tia loads with the itching and to soften the scabs as the topical steroid spray made her drink more.

Take it one day at a time and give scoop a snuggle and a kiss from me

Mel and Tia x x

[scoora]

I have already decided to change vets for Raleigh once Scoop's not here. I don't know maybe I'm not being fair to her but that's how I feel.

Glad you are feeling a little better right now. Hope you have a peaceful day.
Love and hugs.

[scoora]

Thanks Mel, I'll give Scoop his snuggle and kiss right now as I have to go for now.

[molly muffin]

What a great idea Mel. A Cushings Awareness Event would be such a really worthy thing to do. I know that prior to the vet mentioning it, I'd never heard of it. I didn't know what to watch out for and what made them even think that. I still find that it is this forum who has taught me the most about Cushings and a whole host of other things that go right along with it.
Definitely do it with the vet who helped you and made you feel the best. Some of them don't really Get that the patient is Not just the animal being treated, it is just as much the person too. They need to hand hold us, teach us, have patience with us and know that the reason we call them so much is because we love so great and our worry is endless.

Hugs,
Sharlene and Molly Muffin

[Mel-Tia]

Night time is the worst, there is a Tia shaped hole next to me.

[Simba's Mom]

So sorry to hear of your precious Tia, what a thoughtful way to send her to the rainbow bridge. What a great Mom you are, I hope that when Simba's time is here, I will be as good as you. Take care and remember all those great times with Tia, it will help so much! Sending hugs!

[Tina]

Dear Mel,
I am so sorry to read that you have lost your beautiful girl. My tears are falling as I read about her. Know that my thoughts and prayers are with you at this difficult time.

Hugs,
Tina and Jasper

[goldengirl88]

Mel:
I wish I could reach into the computer and take your hurt away. I am so sorry you lost your precious baby. I too think it is a wonderful idea to have a Cushings awareness day. What a fitting honor to your baby. I know what you mean about your Vet, if you read my thread, I don't speak too highly of mine either. He is only interested in money. He has pulled similar crap on me to. One day I was taking Tipper's urine in and forgot my checkbook. After paying thousands of dollars to him they acted like they could not wait 2 days until I brought Tipper back to get her blood pressure checked to get paid the lousy 42.00. The times they overcharged me and I caught it though, they wanted to give me a credit instead of returning the money. It makes me sick that they had to put you thru this at that time. Tipper and I will say a prayer for you and precious Luna. God Bless you both.

[Mel-Tia]

I had hated the idea of leaving her there as she really wasn't keen she used to whine and shake and make a break for the door. Because that woman was so cold it made us angry which in some small way helped me get out of the door

I have decided I will be saying something when I collect her ashes and I will go at a busy time so that people can hear what she is like. If I had repeatedly left debt it would be different but I always paid when I went and got her and I brought a lot of bits out of my own pocket to make her insurance lasted for her pills and tests.

Some of my anger is probably displaced on this vet cause I don't think the outcome would have been any different she could have just made the journey easier

Thank you all for the kind words, I am so grateful to be able to write here how I feel

Mel and Tia x x

[molly muffin]

I think there is always some degree of anger that has to come some place when we lose one of our dearly loved companions.
A vet who only seems to make the journey harder is not one that you want to be taking the journey with you. As you said, even with another vet, the out come might have been the same, but making it not be as hard as it is going to be emotionally is part of a good vets job.

hugs,
Sharlene and molly muffin

[NoonelovesmelikeNorman]

Mel, I am sorry about your experience with Tia's vet :mad:- It's terrible when one can sence their hearts aren't in the right place with our loved ones.:(
I want to extend my heartfelt sympathy to you on Tia's passing. Our little pups, leave an imprint on our hearts that never go away. Sending waves of comfort, peace and mercy your way.
({({({HUGS})})}) and Love,

Sharon, Norman and Millie

[Trish]

Oh Mel, I am so angry on your behalf. I think we should all go and picket that callous vet. How dare she, it's not like you were going to do a runner. Makes my blood boil :mad:

I so hope you are finding some peace and getting some sleep, such a big change in your life and not one you get over quickly. Sending loads of hugs your way and eyes of steel your vets way :cool:

Trish xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[Mel-Tia]

The vet sent a card which I received yesterday, there was a poem with it that I have put on her memory thread but I wanted to share what she wrote with you. she was there when we were there and she obviously told the guy to ask us as he said she offers her condolences and asks if you will be paying!

Anyway this is what it said:

I wanted to write to say how sorry I am to hear the tragic news about Tia. Through the years that I knew her, she was always such a gentle and sweet natured girl, a great character and a much loved pet. I can only imagine how you must be feeling with out her and I know if love alone could have kept her going she would still be here today

You really did an amazing job of maintaining Tias quality of life through her years of Cushings

I am sure that you will have many fond memories of Tia's years with you and I hope that these and your other dog maybe of comfort to you now

Can't believe it's a week today since I said bye to my little princess

[addy]

I can believe it has been a week either. I hope the card brought some closure with the vet. I know how angry you were, hopefully this will smooth out the anger and you can forget that part.

Thank you for all the support. Wanted to give you a hug:):):)

[molly muffin]

Well, she might have been callous at the time, but maybe she realized that or something and wanted to make up for it? I hope it does help to put away those feelings, but I'd still do the cushings day with the other vet that you felt was more caring and helpful :)

Big hugs from me too. A week is eternity when you are feeling so sad.

Sharlene and Molly Muffin

[jackiev]

Hi Mel. I'm so sorry to read about your princess. I'm sorry I didn't see this earlier, I have a really hard time keeping up with all the threads. Sending you healing thoughts and hugs at this very difficult time :(

[labblab]

Hi Mel,

I just wanted to stop by this morning to thank you for all the supportive replies you've been posting on so many threads. Right now, when you are in the middle of your own pain, you are so thoughtful to be checking in on all the other babies and their parents.

I read in one of your replies that your family may not be understanding why you are still spending time here, now that Tia is gone. I hope you will tell your family that you have made many friends here, and they would miss you dearly should you leave!!!

It has now been nearly ten years since my own Cushboy was by my side. But as you can see, I have never left this family. By trying to help answer questions, I feel like I am paying tribute every day to his spirit. And beyond that, I feel as though I've grown to know many people here far better than others living here in my own town!

You are honoring Tia's memory with every reply you write. So I hope you will continue to stay with us for a long time to come!!

Sending many hugs to you from across the miles,
Marianne

[molly muffin]

Mel I completely agree with everything Marianne just said. You may not even know how much your replies mean to others, but be assured each and every one counts for so much. This is such a scary disease to be told that your most cherished companion has (as you know), that seeing a reply on a thread about your baby means so very much. HUGS, we thank you from the bottom of our hearts.

Sharlene and Molly Muffin

[Mel-Tia]

Thank you both for those kind posts. They meant a lot. I have tried to avoid the newer members as I didn't want them to jump to my post and get sad. The medicine did give us some good years

Xxxx

[addy]

Mel, your courage and strength coupled with your willingness to give while going through the loss of Tia is amazing. I find it reasurring when I see you replying to members. I think it helps you, honors Tia's memroy and I know helps a whole bunch of us.:) Seeing you on my own thread has brought much gratitude, especially when I know how much you are hurting.

So pack up your bags, because we are all heading to Houston with Skye and Shysie and we dont want to leave you behind. I know you are up for the trip.

(((((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))))))))))

[Tina]

Hi Mel, thinking of you today and sending hugs from me and Jasper. (((Hugs)))

[scoora]

Mel, I agree with what all the others have said. I am so glad you are still with us. It means a lot that you check up on us.
Thank you for being here.
Big hugs

[goldengirl88]

God Bless You Mel. Tipper and I pray for you .

[Mel-Tia]

Thank you for all the hugs, words and prayers.

I have spent the best part of 3 ish years living and breathing this disease and I know how isolating it can feel. It makes me feel helpful to be here as I can't do anymore for my little one. I should be getting her ashes this week so at least she will be home.

I won't lie I am struggling with it all, I stayed in this job mainly because I could work from home to be with her and I have slowly fallen out of love with it ( been taken over 3 times) and now I have no clue what direction to go. I guess now she isn't here that changes things I would still like to be with Boyce all the time but he doesn't need me if that makes sense.

I am just trying to take it one day at a time and hope that I figure something out soon

Boyce has taken her spot on the sofa the last few nights which has been nice

Thanks again everyone, hope you and your pups are having good days

Mel and Tia
Xxxx

[molly muffin]

Hi Mel, this disease is all consuming in how much energy, time and worry it takes from our daily lives.
I wouldn't make any sudden changes, give yourself some time to heal too. Then you can put out feelers and see if there is something else that you might prefer to be doing instead of the current job. Maybe just taking it slow, you'll find something that interests and intrigues you.
We're awful glad you are still here too.

hugs,
Sharlene and Molly Muffin

[NoonelovesmelikeNorman]

Hello Mel,

I want to extend my sympathy on Tia's passing. May you be surrounded by peace, and comfort in knowing little Tia is no longer suffering. Gentle hugs!

How is her brother doing?

I also have to agree with the posts from the other members... I am so glad your still on here...Norman appreciates it as well.

Sending Peace and Love your way!

Sharon, Norman and Millie

[Trish]

Hi Mel

You are a great big shiny star on here as you were for beautiful Tia!! :D:D:D:D I know you are still missing her dreadfully but the kind comments you make and the support you give to the posters here is sooo very much appreciated! You know what it means to read a kind word and how it can lift you up, so to see you here paying it forward is so heart warming I hope you are here for a very long time as you are an important part of our family!! Must be early where you are and I just saw your green light flash on so hope your getting enough sleep and taking care of yourself!

Trish xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[Mel-Tia]

My job has an on call element ( it services Internet etc) so I keep some strange hours plus Tia used to wake me as you all know but I am doing ok, couldn't sleep last night but that happens

I am so pleased to see good reports and feel the pain and frustration of the set backs and it does feel like I am honouring her being there for other Cush moms/mums

Sharon - Boyce is doing ok, (thanks for asking) he seems to look for her sometimes but I distract him as best I can, he is such an oaf, he is so full of life and energy which is a blessing, he took himself to bed this afternoon my conference calls today were clearly annoying him

Thanks everyone again for all your kind words, I have no intention of leaving the forum, I still have some promises to keep to my princess and I want to share that journey with you all

Mel and my little angel Tia
Xxxxx

[Squirt's Mom]

Mel, we are all so blessed by your presence here. You are sharing an energy of healing and hope and promise with us all. And you honor us by trusting us more than you can ever know.

[molly muffin]

ahhh, internet services. That can have some weird hours alright. :) Okay I won't worry as much then seeing you online at all hours. :) LOL I can relate as I've been known to go through threads at midnight updating sometimes.

hugs,
Sharlene

[Trish]

Yes that does explain things :D Glad your big oaf Boyce is keeping you entertained! Must be sad to see him looking for Tia but least you an him can keep each other company with you at home :) xxxx

[Mel-Tia]

I got the call to say she is back so going to get her soon. Not saying anything just collecting her and closing that door

It's strange, I had a feeling it would be today and it was

[labblab]

Just remember, Mel, you're not making the trip alone. We'll be right there alongside should you need us,

Marianne

[Squirt's Mom]

You don't travel alone today, Mel. As Marianne said, we are right by your side the whole way.

Hugs,
Leslie and the gang

[Mel-Tia]

Thank you

We are home, we took our last walk back. I did cry the whole way because it was sad.

Glad she is home though

Xxxx

[labblab]

We understand. We so understand.

[Mel-Tia]

I know, I am so grateful I can say this 'out loud' and not be judged for it

Xxxx

[scoora]

Mel, Glad to hear your precious Tia is home with you.
Big, big hugs!

[goldengirl88]

Mel:
God Bless you and precious Tia I know how you feel I truly do. It is a comfort to have her back home where she belongs. I know how it is to love a dog more than life itself, as that is how I feel about my precious Tipper. I hope I have as much strength as you have had when I have to deal with that situation. Keep in touch as we will pray for you, and your girl in heaven.

[Squirt's Mom]

(((((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))))))

I am sure Tia is glad to be home again.

[labblab]

Mel, this poem is for you when you go for your walk in the woods this evening. I do believe in my heart that Tia's spirit will run to your side whenever you call. She will be with you.


We have a secret, you and I
that no one else shall know,
for who but I can see you lie
each night in fire glow?
And who but I can reach my hand
before we go to bed
and feel the living warmth of you
and touch your silken head?
And only I walk woodland paths
and see ahead of me,
your small form racing with the wind
so young again, and free.
And only I can see you swim
in every brook I pass
and when I call, no one but I
can see the bending grass.

Author Unknown

[goldengirl88]

What a beautiful and poignant poem, it made me cry me eyes out, but is so true.

[Mel-Tia]

Thank you, they are beautiful words

There is long grass in the summer, she did used to run through that like a terrier,then she would look up to make sure you were there

Princess Tia did not like water, she walked around puddles and would protest at walking in,the rain.

Tonight it was raining when we started to walk it stopped while we were walking and then started up again when we got back indoors



Mel, this poem is for you when you go for your walk in the woods this evening. I do believe in my heart that Tia's spirit will run to your side whenever you call. She will be with you.


We have a secret, you and I
that no one else shall know,
for who but I can see you lie
each night in fire glow?
And who but I can reach my hand
before we go to bed
and feel the living warmth of you
and touch your silken head?
And only I walk woodland paths
and see ahead of me,
your small form racing with the wind
so young again, and free.
And only I can see you swim
in every brook I pass
and when I call, no one but I
can see the bending grass.

Author Unknown

[molly muffin]

So glad to hear that Tia is home with you. It's okay to cry, it is sad. Don't think that there aren't some tears being shed around the world with you today. There definitely are and you are not alone.

hugs,
Sharlene

[addy]

Super big hugs, Mel,

I am glad she is home.

[Skye]

sobbing.................reaching out for you with my arms opened.............holding you close my friend.
Beautiful poem,
thank you for sharing your walk this evening with us.

[Skye]

you are beautiful to Shysie and me, knowing your there, your listening, you care............I just wanted you to know that. the impact you make is far greater than what you know. and we thank you.

[Trish]

HI Mel
Sobs and hugs from me too, what a lovely poem. Your top must be getting all soggy with all of us sharing hugs and your tears with you. So glad she is home with you where she belongs.
Trish xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[Mel-Tia]

I feel bad sometimes as it can remind or make people think and I would never intentionally upset anyone

I called that other vets today and spoke to the receptionist re the cushings awareness event, vet was operating but she said she would talk to him and I will call her back on Tuesday

If they have a notice board I was thinking I could do a display which he could leave up for a bit, possibly with a pamphlet which has useful resources one of which would be a link here -I think the leaflet should be a crib sheet for if you are diagnosed

Will keep you all posted

Xxxxx

[Skye]

i think that would be awesome.

[Trish]

Me too! Your awesome the way you are increasing awareness of this disease, my vet does a quarterly newsletter they send out to all us clients, there was an article in there about cushings a while back so you could check if they do something like that maybe?

Don't you worry about making people sad, we are in this for the long haul Mel, through good times and bad we are all here for each other so you make sure you do not hold yourself back!

xxxxxx

[Mel-Tia]

Thanks girls

Trish, I write to her every day on her memory thread and I do not hold back there, I tell her what is going on and how I am feeling, that way you kinda know it's gonna be sad if you go in and read it.

This disease is hard and macros are just one of those fears and I don't want that scare our poor new members, getting your head around cushings is tough enough

I am just hoping to help other puppies with the awareness event.

For all I know Tia could have had a macro from the start, even though pituarty is most likely they recommend the ultrasound without a picture of the head, I remember asking my vet and she said there were no surgical options, she didn't mention radiation. I read about it all at the time and everything said macros were rare etc etc so I went with the medicine

I wouldn't not recommend the ultrasound for obvious reasons but I do think protocol should include a head ct if no adrenal tumour is found the dog will be out for the ultrasound already so it makes sense to me That way you know what size it is at the beginning which could influence your long term choices.

Tia was diagnosed just after her 9th birthday, I don't know that I would have put her through 12 radiations or done things any differently but I am a fixer, I will always try and do something so I do wonder.

I obsessed enough as it was and I was very careful about what I read as I wouldn't have been able to handle the stories such as my own while Tia was still here (hope that makes sense) which is what makes me so mindful of my own thread...

Thanks again to you all for your support, I will pay it forward in more ways than one

Mel and my angel Princess Tia
Xxx

[Trish]

Mel, I am glad you have a place to go where you feel comfortable to write exactly what is in your head, it is so important to be able to deal with loss and grief in any way that helps, we are all so different. Expressing it here in such a safe place is a great reflection on the members here who are so very accepting of everyone who comes in to post. There are few places on the internet where I have found this, if any!

Please don't worry about what new posters think. We are all important here whether we have been posting one day or 10 years, and Tia is important too. She tells us her story through you. I remember when I was faced with making big decisions about my dogs future and reading the stories here, some with not so good outcomes. It did make me sad, but I was sad and a bit fragile anyway because my Flynny was sick and I was searching for a cure. But it was important I got all the information both the good and the sad so I could make my decision on what was best for my Pup. We are not here because we have healthy dogs and the sad stories are an important part of the fabric of this forum. These stories also arm us with knowledge and you are a big part of that now. They are also a call out for others to help us when we are unsure and wanting a kind word of reassurance that we are doing the right thing. You are helping people Mel, so you write away. I like reading your posts, you make a lot of sense and are very caring to others! :):)

Trish xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[milosmom]

i agree with you trish i too love reading mels' posts,they describe how many of us here are feeling xoxox patty

[molly muffin]

Trish said exactly what I feel too. Every story of those past and present helps for the ones going forward. I don't know of any other site that has such a group of people who come together with the sole goal of helping others. No matter what the choice they make or the outcome, the support is there. Not just for a specific time frame either, but for as long as anyone wants. That is why we have people who have been here for years and years and still stay and try to help others.
Tia's loving memory thread is beautiful and it is sad and sometimes it brings a smile and it is all yours. You and Tia in your special place.

hugs,
Sharlene

[goldengirl88]

Mel:
Keep on telling what you know and helping others Tia would want you to help other dogs suffering from this dreaded disease. I will tell Tipper's story for the rest of my life, in an effort to help others from making mistakes I have made. I am quite nervous about not hearing from Vicki, this is really not like her and that scares me something is up.
Patti

[NoonelovesmelikeNorman]

Mel, I agree with the others...keep doing what is best for you. We all deal with loss differently, there is no rigt or wrong...it is just difficult...Know we care, we love you and we love hearing from you. We are hear to help each other through the journey and beyond.

With (((hugs))), love, peace and mercy,

Sharon, Norms and Millie

[molly muffin]

Hi Mel! checking in on you. :) Hope you had a good walk today. I'm sure it brought many memories out for you.
Hugs,
Sharlene and Molly Muffin

[addy]

Hi Mel,

Checking in on you and to say hi! Hope all is okay. We are hanging in there.

[Skye]

we are stopping by to say hello.......and to tell you that you are beautiful and appreciated. (arms opening wide, come here my friend, warm embrace) just wanted you to know.

[kaibosmom]

I just read about your sweet Tia now. I can't imagine how you feel. Thank you so much for stopping by Kaibo's page to check up on us while you are dealing with your loss. Hugs to you.

[Trish]

Hi Mel,
Just popping in to give you a big hug and tell you to give that patronising woman the glare <.> <.> ... like that :D Hope your weekend goes OK and you get out for some walks with your boy!
Trish xxxxxx

[Mel-Tia]

Trish, it was a conference call :D.

It was three weeks yesterday since we let her go and this is the fourth weekend. Feels so long since I held her for the last time

I am so happy to hear when everyone's pups are doing well and fighting it, it's hard to let go after all this time so thanks for embracing me into the family

Mel
Xxx

[goldengirl88]

Mel:
We thank you for still fighting the fight with us. It is a wonderful tribute to your Tia. She would be proud of you helping others when your own heart is broken. The thought of my life without Tipper is the scariest thing I have ever contemplated. You deserve a lot of credit for being so strong and passing that strength off to others. It shows a great deal of character to help others, when you are struggling yourself. I applaud you and hope that I too will be as inspirational as you when my Tipper goes to be with God. God Bless You and Your precious Tia in heaven.

[addy]

Hi Mel,

We always think of you and are so happy you stick around. We would miss you, ya know:):):):) Especially need you for those trips to Houston with Skye. You are alot of fun in the car:D:D:D:D

And you really add a sparkle to the waiting rooms too!!!:D:D:D

heck, we just love ya all in all!!!!!!

[Trish]

HI Mel

Popping in to check how you are doing, I do keep an eye on your other thread and so love how you keep on writing to your girl, I am sure Tia is missing you too... but you know dogs, they live in the moment don't they. I love that about them, they might feel like crap but still love that they are with us!! Lucky girl was Miss Tia with you as her Mum! Hope your hanging in there and getting some rest over the weekend. Big Hugs for you xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[Barb]

So very sorry for your loss.
Your idea for Cushing's awareness is awesome.

[addy]

Hi Mel,

stopping by to tell you how much you are loved:):):):)

[molly muffin]

Hi Mel, thinking about you today and hoping that you are doing okay and not feeling too bad.

hugs,
Sharlene and Molly Muffin

[Tina]

Hi Mel, I'm thinking about you today also and hope you are hanging in there. Big hugs from me and Jasper.

[doxiesrock912]

Mel,
I've cried a lot while reading this site but that is to be expected. I wish that more research were being done since this disease obviously isn't new.

Lots of hugs.

[Trish]

Hi Mel
Just checking in to see how you are doing, big hugs for you!!
Trish xxx

[Fellasmom]

Hi Mel
Its late and you're prob asleep but wanted to check in with you for a change!Was thinking of you today and hope you had an okay considering it's Friday.At least you got a break from work(hopefully).Not much on this end,I was in a very blah mood today.Just having a cup of coffee and watching a little TV.Hope you have a good weekend and speak with you tomorrow if you're around.
Hugs to you and Boyce
Patty

[Trish]

Hi Mel

Are you out of the Friday Funk? According to my time calculations it is past midnight there so you might well be! Nice to sleep some of it away, we are going to have to think of some good things that happened on a Friday to even out the bad memories you have. You can't be forever thinking bad yucky things on Friday when it is meant to be one of the best days of the week!! WE HAVE TO TAKE BACK FRIDAY'S!!! Hmmm now I have to come up with a good idea of how to do that :D:eek::D... putting my thinking cap on!

See you tonight maybe xx

[addy]

Hey Mel, did I miss something important? I think I missed something, Trish said she rushed to your thread to see pixes.

Where, what, who??????:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D

[goldengirl88]

Mel:
As always thinking of you and hoping you are having a good day. Hugs, and Kisses from Tipper. Blessings
Patti

[molly muffin]

I love the picture of Tia Mel. That little face is just so adorable I hope you find some place awesome for a holiday. We all need a break now and then.

hugs,
Sharlene and Molly Muffin

[addy]

I am so glad I asked because I LOVE the pictures of Tia, Mel. Her heart and soul show in her eyes.

Well, you are done with Friday and are almost to Monday. I hope Saturday and Sunday were good for you and that Friday gets easier.

(((((((((((BIG HUGS))))))))))))))))))

sounds like we may be doing another trip to Houston next month with Skye, still have your bags packed and ready?

[goldengirl88]

Mel:
As the time nears Tuesday I am getting so scared. I just simply cry at the thought of something wrong with my girl that cannot be fixed. I am a nervous wreck. Please pray fot Tipper as she will be going in Tuesday morning. God Bless you for all the strength and support you have given us.
Patti

[labblab]

Hi Mel, hope these last couple of days before your trip don't exhaust you! I always think I need a vacation before and after my vacations so as to rest up from all the prep and then the aftermath...:rolleyes:

Just want to wish you well. I know things will be very different without Tia. But I hope you have a really relaxing break, regardless.

Sending you my best wishes today and everyday!
Marianne

[addy]

Oh Mel, me too, I hope you have a good trip. You so deserve it. Of course we probabaly wont function well with you gone:):o

We will want to hear all about it and see pictures.

[Mel-Tia]

Thanks guys. It will be weird. If we can get a dongle an signal I will check in if I can.

Will miss you all too.

[Simba's Mom]

Hey Mel, just sending more hugs and prayers, take care hon!

[addy]

i just saw a picture of the crowd outside Wimbleton-WOW, lots of people sitting outside watching the Open:):):):) Hubby loves tennis so he has it on and I peak in ffrom time to time to watch with him.
Cant take it too long as I am not fond of the grunting;)

[goldengirl88]

Mel:
Tipper the Ripper sends her love to you and Boyce. have a safe a wonderful trip. Blessings
Patti

[Trish]

I like the tennis too Addy, when I lived in London for a year I actually stayed with my cousin who had a house in Wimbledon, it was lovely there.

Mel, are you getting ready? All packed?? Boycie getting excited!! Anytime I bring out the bags to start packing for a trip Flynn immediately goes into a funk, thinking he is being left behind!

We will miss you for sure, but I am so pleased you are heading off for a nice long holiday to unwind, relax, chill out and not worry about work. A change of scenery always recharges the batteries!! Have the best time and we want pics!!! xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[goldengirl88]

Mel:
I hope you enjoy yourself, and have a wonderful vacation as you deserve it. Kisses to you and Boyce from Tipper the Ripper. Blessings
Patti

[Fellasmom]

Mel,
I miss you already!!I hope you're sitting and relaxing with Boyce by your side.I'm hoping Tia decided to come on this vacation with you and that you will see a sign from her.Miss you lots!!
Love,
Patty