My Pug Scoop (Precious Scoop has passed... )

[scoora]

Hi everyone and thanks.

I know it's been a while since Scoop had his BG curve. The day at the vet seemed to go better than last time and his BG's were decent but that's probably because he doesn't eat like he used to. His eating is getting worse. He doesn't hardly want dog food anymore. He will take a bite and then backs away. He wants to drink water while he eats and then it seems like that's it. There are times he doesn't want anything at all and at times he will eat things that are not good for him. He has lost a little weight. His poops are still horrible.
So hard and frustrating. Is it his tumor or belly problems or IBD. So frustrating and heartbreaking.

Thanks for listening.

[Trish]

Yep if only these babies could talk and tell us what is wrong it would make things a whole lot easier! Hope you and Scoop have a relaxing weekend and you can tempt him with some tasty food! Thinking of you as you keep on fighting the good fight for Scoop! He loves you for it you know! xxx

[goldengirl88]

Vicki:
Does Scoop like meat cooked on the grill?? If I have any eating problems with my cats etc. That is what I do. The smell from the grill really gets them going. I have a cat that I rescued that Tipper hates with a passion. Anyway, he has a problem with the bile ducts from his liver and is on a medication daily for it. Sometimes when his symptoms start up he won't eat. He has lost a lot of weight in the past. I remembered a trick from an old Vet I had in Pittsburgh. You give them Periactin. It works a funny way in animals and makes them really hungry. I give my cat some every other day as if I stop he quits eating. It has some mild side effects for long term continual use, but they are minor in compared to him starving to death. Maybe you could ask the vet if Scoop could have some. Mine are a low milligram and I cut the tablets into 4's so it actually takes very little to stimulate them to eat. God Bless You and Scoop, I pray for you every day, and pray for a miracle for Scoop.
Patti

[milosmom]

aww Vicki our poor litl buddy..... he has to get a break soon (as you do as well)I am sending prayers,love,light and virtual hugs and kisses to you both...we are up the country till Tuesday (we all needed a nice quiet break away from the city,plan to do this lots this year)here for ya hun...patty(milo)meka xoxox

[Budsters Mom]

Vicki,
I got your messages. Thank you so much. :)I am so sorry that you and Scoop have been having such a hard time. It is very sad that our precious babies have to go through so much turmoil. There is no way that I could afford surgery for Buddy, but I would like to ask Dr. B about some medication options.
Thanks again Vicki and bless you and Scoop,
Hugs,
Kathy

[Simba's Mom]

Aw Scoop, hope his appetite gets better, so hard when they don't want food, did u ever try eggs or egg whites? Simba likes that when he has tummy troubles? Sending hugs and prayers......

[goldengirl88]

Vicki:
Prayers to you and Scoop, and a very special request to God to give Scoop a miracle.
Blessings
Patti

[scoora]

Trish-Thank you. It sure would make things a lot easier if they could tell us how they feel.

Patty-Thanks, we sure could use a break. Hope you're enjoying your time in the country.

Letti-Scoop used to love eggs. Sometimes my daughter buys the egg whites in a carton and he would eat them. He has been so, so picky lately. One time he will eat something and then he won't. I had Boston Market rotisserie chicken yesterday and he gobbled it up. This morning he hardly ate any dog food (like usual lately) so I tried some leftover chicken. He didn't want to have anything to do with it.

Kathy- You're welcome. I hope Dr. B can help you. I wish I lived near there and could take Scoop to see him. He seems like such a caring person. I wish his meds for shrinking the tumors were on the market. Available for anyone instead of still in the trial phase. Just think of all the animals it will help if it is a success. God bless Dr. B for everything he has done and will do to help our babies. I told him a little bit about Scoop and he said he didn't think surgery would be an option but he didn't say why. It even went through my head, maybe could I live in LA for 6 Months to try the meds. So darn frustrating.

Patti-Thank you for all your prayers. Memorial weekend we cooked on the grill and Scoop did enjoy that. It's so strange though how something appeals to him, then it doesn't. He had some Arby's the other day. The enthusiasm he had when he ate that was like my younger Scoop was here. I will check out the Periactin. Scoop is taking an appetite stimulant every 24 hours. It's Mirtazapine. Can't really say if it's making a difference. His eating is just all over the place.

In the morning he eats about 5-6 bites of dog food then he won't want any more. I try to disguise it but that doesn't work. Sometimes he refuses to eat anything more and sometimes he will eat something like lunchmeat or dog treats. I try to get him to eat anything. Then there's the matter of his insulin. I have never been able to home test Scoop. I know his BG curve was decent but at the time he was eating more dog food. I'm not sure if he needs the full amount. Sometimes I cut it back. He drinks a lot of water. After he eats his couple bites of dog food, he just has to have water. I know not being on the Vetoryl will make him drink more but he started drinking more while he was still taking it but now it's even more. Maybe his kidney problem is making him drink more. I don't know.

Since Scoop hasn't been on Vetoryl he hardly trembles any more. Occasionally he does but to me they just seem a little different. Maybe more pain related. Maybe from belly troubles? I have Tramadol but he is usually sleeping and they don't last that long. He still sleeps a lot. I thought maybe the Vetoryl was making him sleep a lot but that doesn't seem to be the case. I asked Dr. Bruyette if a large tumor can cause them to sleep a lot. He said, yes.

[scoora]

Does anyone know if it is OK for a dog with protein in the urine to take Pepcid?

[Mel-Tia]

Hey Vicki

I don't know so bumping your thread in case your question was missed

Hope you and the little guy are having a good day today

Big hug

Mel
Xxxxxxxx

[Harley PoMMom]

I don't know of any contraindications with pepcid AC and a dog that has Proteinuria.

[Skye]

i have not gotten to visit in sooooooooo long!!!!!!!!!! you know that we carry you in hearts every day......not a day passes you and scoop dont cross our minds. I so want you to know that. Your heart is so loving and kind, you are a beautiful momma to your darling, and I know he loves and adores you so much. puggers are great.
You know, my girl has Chronic Kidney Disease stage I (hoping and praying it has not worsened, we go back this month) anyways, so she has proteinuria and takes pepcid ac original formula

[scoora]

Thanks Mel, Lori and Skye

Haven't been around much. Hanging in.
Hope everyone and pups are doing well.

[Budsters Mom]

Hi,
Just dropping in to send hugs and prayers to you and sweet little Scoop. :) It is so scary when they don't eat. I wish they could tell us what they are thinking and feeling.

Hugs,
Kathy

[Trish]

Glad you and Scoop are hanging in there! Did you start the pepcid? Hope it helps with settling his tummy. You asked what GA was and it is General Anaesthetic. :D as opposed to LA - Local Anaesthetic! Hope you guys are having a good day and you Scoop has managed to eat some tasty treats! :) xxxxx

[goldengirl88]

Vicki:
Thinking of you and Scoop, Tipper and I pray for Scoop everyday. God Bless You Both
Patti

[Doccy]

HI Vicki,
Just wanted to drop in and say hi and I hope you and Scoop are doing better. I pray for you both everyday.

Jessica and Doc

[Simba's Mom]

Sending hugs and prayers for you and Scoop!!!

[milosmom]

also popping in to send you and scoop hugs and kisses.... think of you every day valerie,sending you prayers as well ...patty (milo)meka xoxox

[goldengirl88]

Vicki:
Checking in to let you know we are still praying for you and Scoop. God Bless You Both
Patti

[goldengirl88]

Vicki:
Hope you and Scoop are having a lot of good quality time together. We think of you and pray for you both every day. God Bless You and Scoop.
patti

[Squirt's Mom]

Been thinking of you and Scoop. Hope ya'll are having a good day!
Hugs,
Leslie and the gang

[goldengirl88]

Vicki:
I have been thinking of you and precious Scoop. I hope Scoop is eating better. I know this is a most difficult time for you both and understand why you are not posting. I don't think I could post either. Know we care about you and Scoop and pray for you every day. Just maybe shoot me a few words that Scoop is doing ok. God Bless you and Scoop
Patti

[Budsters Mom]

Hi Vicki,
I have been thinking of you and Scoop. I hope you have been able to get scoop to eat. Sending many prayers your way. Big hugs,
Kathy

[Simba's Mom]

Sending hugs and prayers for you and for Scoop!!

[Mel-Tia]

I think of you every day too and check for news. I understand why you haven't been on so no pressure, just wanted you to know I am here too

Big hug, kisses to the boys

Mel
Xxxx

[LabDad]

Vickie, my wife, Moo and I still think of you and your two dogs and say prayers for you. Hang in there!

[Trish]

Hi Vicki - how is Scoop doing? Be nice to have an update, hope his eating has improved and no poop problems or anything else cropping up. Did the pepcid help his tummy? Big hugs for you guys xx

[scoora]

My sweet Scoop, my baby doll, passed a little over 3 hours ago.
I miss him so much. My heart is broken into a million pieces.
I love you so, so much Scoop.
You will always be in my heart, my sweetheart.

[Budsters Mom]

I am so sorry for your loss Vicki.:( I know that your heart is broken and I do know how you feel. Sending lots of hugs, prayers and healing energy to you. I so wish I could do more for you right now.
Kathy

[k9diabetes]

Vicki... I wrote you a reply over at K9D and just wanted to tell you here too how very sorry I am to learn that Scoop has passed. He was such a cherished and beloved friend.

Natalie

[Mel-Tia]

Vicki

I am so so sorry that you lost Scoop. Run free little man.

Love
Mel
Xxxxxx

[Spiceysmum]

Vicki,

Sorry to hear about Scoop. My thoughts are with you.

Linda

[Trish]

Oh no, not the news I was wanting to hear. I am so sorry Vicki, so not fair when you tried everything in your power to help your baby. Such a hard time for you, please come in and let it all out with all of us as we are all ready to help you in anyway you need, for now I am sending you big hugs to help you through this awful night. Sweet Scoop is feeing no pain now but it is you the one left behind that grieves and i am so sorry you are going through this. BIG HUGS xxxx

[Trish]

Hi Vicki

I see you online now, everyone else is in bed by the look of it. Not surprised your not sleeping, I am here if you want to chat though, wish I could give you real life hug right about now xxxxxx

[Trish]

You don't have to talk sweet, just wanted you to know I am here sitting with you sending big hugs from the bottom of the world xxxxxxxxxxxxx

[molly muffin]

Vicki HUGS. I am so sorry. You were both mighty warriors. Scoop will forever be in your heart. This is where he will live on. Always healthy and happy. Love is a powerful thing.

Love and hugs
Sharlene

[LabDad]

Vickie, I am so sorry about your loss, I will tell my wife Linda (Moo) when she gets up. I know you and Raleigh are going to miss him. You were the best mom to Scoop, and he knew it.

[addy]

Dear Vicki,

I am so very sorry to hear about Scoop. I cannot imagine the terrible pain you must be feeling. You tried so hard and fought for him so hard. I wish I could put my arms around you to try to ease your pain. You and Scoop are very dear to us and we will always be here if you feel the need to talk. They say the hurt is so awful because the joy was so great. When we love so, loss is overwhelming. Our pups are our perpetual children, we are never ready to lose them.

I an so sorry. Scoop lives on in you heart and our hearts and his journey is recorded here and his memory will live on forever.

[LabDad]

Oh Vicki....I have no words to express how sad I am for you. I know all too well what you are going through. I thought I would die when we lost Lulu. But the good Lord has brought me through it. I still cry everyday for her, just as you will for dear precious scoop. He was your baby. I know you and Raleigh will miss him terribly. But you can rest asured that you were the best family he could have. You were kind, compasionate and loving to him, til the very end. Thank God he is no longer in pain. He is made whole once again, so he can cross the bridge, and wait for you. I just know that he and Lulu will be best friends. I so wish I could give you a big hug, and comfort you. Just know that Bob and I are thinking of you, and praying for you, to get through this. Thank you for being such a good Mommy to sweet scoop.
I share your sorrow, here is a virtual hug for you. ((((((((((Vicki))))))))))
Love,
Moo

[goldengirl88]

Vicki:
I am so shocked I do not even know how to reply. You worked tirelessly to do everything possible for Scoop. I am just devastated to hear this knowing your heart is broken in a million pieces. Scoop is free from all of this torment now, I know that doesn't lessen the pain you feel without him. I swear I hate this disease for what it has done to everyone on here, and taken their babies. I am glad for one thing and that is that you got to spend a lot of time with Scoop, even though he was failing. I told myself I never wanted to sit down in the morning to this forum and see the news you posted about Scoop. I am crushed for you, and can barely type while crying my eyes out for sweet Scoop. I just told Tipper that Scoop passed, she looked around with a bewildered expression on her. This really brings it home to me about my Tipper. It is hard living every day of your life scared to death your best friend in the whole world will leave you. I am feeling your sorrow and pain Vicki, and I hope you can get through this. I know how much Scoop meant to you. I know we won't hear from you for a while, so just know I am there beside you always, and I truly mean it when I say I can feel your pain. God Bless you and sweet Scoop in heaven.
Patti

[Squirt's Mom]

Dear, dear Vicki,

Oh, honey, I am just so sorry, my tears keep blinding me knowing the pain you feel this morning. It doesn't matter the circumstances, it doesn't matter what the "prognosis" is, it doesn't matter what anyone says is best - we are never, ever ready to let them go. Sweetheart, you fought for Scoop from day one, doing all you knew to do, learning all you could to help your sweet boy. You gave Scoop the best life he could have ever dreamed of; he was a very lucky boy to have you as his mom.

Today Scoop is as he was in his youth - strong, full of energy, no pain, no fear, whole once again. In his heart he carries the love you gave him, always. Scoop knows he will see you again one day and until then, he will watch over you just as you watched over him with such tender care and love.

Please know we are here for you any time you wish to talk. We do understand your pain and will walk with you through this valley.

Our deepest sympathies,
Leslie, Squirt, Trinket, Brick, Sophie and our Angels, Ruby, Crystal, Tasha and Josie


I Will Wait For You...

I will wait for you...
Though we never wanted to say goodbye,
Remember me...
When winter snows are falling through a quiet sky
I'll remember you
When, in our darkest hour,
You held my hand and prayed I wouldn't go,
But a silent voice called out to me;
My time had come, and I had to travel Home...

Since then, I know your life has never been the same,
For I visit you each day:
So many times I've felt your pain:
I've watched you cry:
And I've heard you call my name...

But now, further along life's road I stand
In a timeless world, just beyond your sight,
Waiting for the day when I can take your hand and bring you across
to this land of Golden Light...

Till then, remember me, you understand-and try not to cry.
But if you do:
Let your tears fall
For the happiness and joy we knew,
And for the special love we shared,
For love can never die.

~Stephen O'Brien

[jmac]

Vicki,

I am so very sorry to hear about Scoop. You are in my thoughts...

Julie & Hannah

[milosmom]

i type this thru tears as well knowing that your heart is crushed vicki,we are all here for you and send our condolences,love,prayers,support and healing energy...patty(milo)meka xoxox

[doxiesrock912]

Vicki,
I am so very sorry that you lost Scoop.
Along with everyone here, I am crying as I type.

Cherish the wonderful memories and know that Scoop is no longer ill, he's running and playing in Heaven.

Hugs from Daisy Mae, Gracie, and Annabelle Lee.

[BostonLover]

I'm so sorry for your loss. I lost my Tyson to a brain tumor on Christmas Eve. My heart is breaking for you.

[khockman]

You will be in my prayers. How very heartbreaking and I will be thinking of you as you work through such a very difficult period. The love and care you had for Scoop is quite evident and Scoop's spirit will forever bless your heart.

xoxox,
Kerry

[Trixie]

I am so sorry to read about your loss of Scoop....so hard to lose these sweet companions and just so heartbreaking. Thinking of you.
Barbara

[scoora]

Thank you so much everyone. A lot was going on the last few weeks. When I am a bit stronger and maybe not hurting quite so much I will write.

I love you my precious Scoop. I miss you so very much. I can still feel your soft ears in my hands and my lips kissing your sweet head.
Love from your Mom!

[whatuc]

I am so sorry to learn of the passing of your Scoop. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

[Roxee's Dad]

Dear Vicki,
I am so very sorry for your loss. Scoop will always be in your heart and memories. Rest in Peace sweet precious Scoop, You are our newest and brightest star in the sky......

[KennyJ]

So sorry for your loss!! Thoughts and prayers going your way.

[Tina]

Dear Vicki,
I am just torn up to read about Scoop. I am so so sorry. You took such loving care of your boy, I will keep you both in my prayers. The tears are fallling as I type, sending love and support.

Big Hugs,
Tina

[Harley PoMMom]

Dear Vicki,

I am so terribly sorry for your loss. You were an excellent and loving Mom to dear Scoop and your unsurpassed devotion was seen by us all.

Godspeed sweet Scoop

With Heartfelt Sympathy,
Lori

[Simba's Mom]

Oh no, so sorry Vicki, your precious Scoop, sending hugs and prayers, you are a great Mama, fly high precious baby, free from pain...Scoop lives on in your heart and in all the precious memories...

[lisamak]

We're so very sorry Vicki. Scoop has gone to a better place and takes nothing but love and good memories with him.

[molly muffin]

Vicki, thinking of you tonight and sending you big tight hugs.

Sharlene

[labblab]

Me too, Vicki, me too.

I'll bet Scoop was right there waiting for Kathy's little Buddy this evening so they could join one another on healthy new legs as they raced around together at The Bridge.

But it is so hard to be left behind right now. My heart goes out to you, Vicki. I am so very sorry.

Marianne

[Bo's Mom]

Oh Dear Vicki,
I am so very sorry to read about Scoop tonight. He is undoubtedly making his paw prints all over Heaven. He is a gentle soul that will be so dearly missed by all here who shared his story. I will say prayers of peace and strength for you all.

[Skye]

Breaks my heart reading this news........knowing the pain that fills your heart, each breath hurts. Tears and snot going every where and my fingers fumbling to type to you and my arms ache to hold you. You gave all, just as he gave to you. Unconditionally loving, caring. Amazing how their love impacts our lives. The pain your heart feels, reflects how amazing Scoops love is, and just how amazing yours is back, have no doubt........your heart is being held and watched over by Scoop. he will gently lead your heart to the deserving one.

[Trish]

Hi Vicki

Popping in for another hug and to check on you tonight, we are here sweet if you want to talk. xxxxxxx

[Sabre's Mum]

Vicki,

I am so sorry to hear of your loss of dear Scoop. My thoughts are with you.

Angela and Flynn

[Mel-Tia]

I am thinking of you both too and sending you love and hugs

Mel
Xxxxx

[Tina]

Me too Vicki, thinking about you and Scoop and keeping you both in my prayers. Big hugs.

[addy]

Hi Vicki,

Stopping by too to say hi and give you a hug.

[Simba's Mom]

Hey Vicki, just sending more hugs and prayers, take care, we are all here for you!

[lulusmom]

Oh Vicki, I am so very sorry for your loss. Please know that my thoughts and prayers are with you during this very difficult time. I know your heart is in a million pieces right now and no words can alleviate the pain but just know that we are here for you now and always. Scoop's memory lives on in all of us and we will always honor him. He is in very good company now, including my own crew of precious pups who have passed. I'm sure my Lulu and Jojo were part of the cushpup welcome wagon that met Scoop as he crossed over the bridge.

Godspeed sweet Scoop.

(((Big Consoling Hugs)))
Glynda

[Boriss McCall]

I am so sorry for your loss. Rest In Peace sweet precious Scoop.

[Mel-Tia]

I like to think Tia will be there too, I asked her numerous times to look after your guy so I think they will already be friends.

Sending you some hugs and love

Mel
Xxxxx

[scoora]

Thank you everyone for all the kind words.

It is so hard. Every little thing sets me off. I miss my Scoop so very much. I know he was sick but this was so unexpected.
Love you my baby doll so very much!

[Budsters Mom]

Vicki,
I know I sent my condolences already,right after I heard about Scoop.
I did not know that Buddy would be joining him so quickly. I am so sorry that you heart is broken. Sending you a lifetime of love, compassion and understanding. Scoop was blessed to have you in his life. Mass hugs,

[Doccy]

Vicki,
I am so sorry to hear about Scoop. You loved him so much and you were there for him. I hope you are doing ok. If you need to talk, I'm here for you.

Jessica

[scoora]

Thank you so much everyone. My heart just aches. I never thought we would lose Scoop like we did. I'm not sure if even the doctor knows for sure. I will probably be talking to her on Friday. It is Scoop's IMS. I have so many questions. I will probably never know the answers to them. Just briefly, a couple of weeks ago Scoop had pneumonia. Spent 3 days in the hospital. Chest x-ray looked good but white blood cell count still very high. Did a blood culture. Showed he had methecillan-resistant staph pseudo-intermedius. (not sure of spelling without looking it up). He was on antibiotics for pneumonia and infection. Over the weekend he started to have trouble breathing again. Back in the hospital early Sunday morning. Emergency doctor said looked like pneumonia came back. Next day IMS said she thinks it might be the infection. She thinks that he might have had that the first time too. Monday the IMS said he had vestibular movement. I visited Scoop twice Monday. Seemed better than Sunday. The IMS said his white blood count had come down. Was 36,000 Sun 25,000 Mon. I thought that was good. She also said his red count was down. Which meant anemia.
The nurse took him from me about 6:20PM to feed him. I would have never thought I would receive a call around 11:10PM saying Scoop went into cardiac arrest and should they keep on going with the CPR. I said yes. She said they will only try for 10 more minutes. I was at the hospital in 10 minutes but they could not revive Scoop. They took me into a room where Scoop was lying on a table with a blanket around him. He was gone. It hurts so, so much. I'll talk more another time.

I love you my sweet Scoop. I miss you so much. It hurts.
Love from your Mom

[LabDad]

Hi Vicki, I don't know what time it is for everyone, it's 11:15 and my retiring time. I'm at our last computer before I put it to standby for the night. So sorry about Scoop, you know he would want you to remember the happy times too. Our Lulu passed away with probably cardiac arrest, and it had happened Monday and we revived her, but she needed assistance to walk the week and she had an attack that Friday, and we let her go. She had an enlarged heart, and 'old dog lungs' as the vet called it. She too had a good long life, living to be 12 1/2, almost the exact same age of Scoop. It's been almost five months for us, and we have our rescue dog, Stanley, and I have a picture of him in my latest album.

You know I believe we will be reunited not only with our loved ones when we leave, but also our pets. Seems like it will be a busy reunion, but I wanted to share a post I put up a couple months ago here. And you take it for what it's worth. And there is a couple of sequels to this event too, but it kind of re-affirms my belief in a Supreme being, at least for me. So take care Vicki and know that your Raleigh will be depending on you to comfort him too!

http://www.k9cushings.com/forum/showthread.php?p=102335#post102335

[frijole]

Sorry I have been out of town and am just learning the sad and sudden news. You did so much for dear Scoop I can't believe everything that has happened. Know you did everything right and precious Scoop is now free from all the pain. Know he'll be forever honored here along with our own loved ones. Once a member here - always a member. Sending love, Kim

[doxiesrock912]

Oh Vicki!!!
I am crying right along with you. Losing Scoop so suddenly is just unimaginable. I am so sorry.

[spdd]

Just logged on to read about Scoop. Hang in there. I know it's so hard-we miss our fur babies so much.

[addy]

Oh Vicki,

I am so glad you came to tell us what happened. I can only imagine how hard that was for you to do. My heart goes out to you, you tried everything you possibly could for Scopp. He could not have asked for a better mom. There are no words I can possibly say to take way your pain. You are family here and we all share in your grief and mourn Scoop.

Dang Vicki, it is just so darn sad.

[molly muffin]

Oh Vicki, what a horrible ordeal Scoop and you went through. You know he tried very hard and you tried very hard. I think that sometimes the body just can't fight everything any longer. He had been through so much in the last year. He was a valiant fighter to the very end. I really believe that.
I know that you hurt so much and miss Scoop something awful. I wish that we could take your pain away and just divide it amongst ourselves. We are so many and would readily shoulder the pain if we could to help you out. To help everyone who has gone through this horrible time.
hugs sweetie,
Sharlene

[goldengirl88]

Vicki:
I am heartbroken along with you. I cannot stop thinking of you both. What a terrible thing for you and Scoop to go thru. God Bless you and help your heart to heal. I cry every day for you and Scoop and Kathy's Buddy. Blessings
Patti

[Tina]

I am heartbroken too Vicki, and so sad to read what you and Scoop went through. Thank you for telling us what happened. I wish there was something I could say to help ease your pain. I am just so sorry. You are in my thoughts.

Big hugs,
Tina

[Simba's Mom]

Sending hugs and prayers, keep in mind that all of us here care for you and your angel Scoop, keep on keeping on, one day at a time...

[scoora]

Scoop had not been on his Vetoryl for many weeks. I just wonder if he had still been taking it if his resistance wouldn't have been so low. Then maybe he could have fought the infection better.

I have so many things that go through my head. I want to make sense of this and I can't. It hurts so much.

I miss my sweet Scoop so, so much.
I can still feel his head in my hands the last time I saw him. I want to hold him again and I can't.

I love you my sweet baby doll, Scoop, forever and ever.
Love you always, Mom

[scoora]

Thank you everyone for all your messages.
You all are the best.
I sure wish we could have a great big group hug. I sure do need it.

[labblab]

Hi Vicki. I just wanted to check in again and to thank you for having the strength to write back and tell us about what happened to Scoop. It must have been so, so hard to write those words down on paper and relive them all over again. But for all of us who have also been loving Scoop, it feels so important to know.

You have been such a wonderful mother, and I can only imagine how much you are hurting right now. But please know that we will always honor Scoop, and we will always be here for you, Vicki.

I hope you will not leave us. And I am sending my prayers across the miles to you and your family.

Marianne

[Doccy]

This is my and Doccy's hug for you. I hope you can feel the arms around you.

Nothing Gold Can Stay
Nature's first green is gold,
Her hardest hue to hold.
Her early leaf's a flower;
But only so an hour.
Then leaf subsides to leaf,
So Eden sank to grief,
So dawn goes down to day.
Nothing gold can stay.

-Robert Frost

Vicki--remember the sun and the love of dear Scoop's eyes. He was your gold and I know you will hold him again.

[LabDad]

Hi Vicki......I just wanted to come by and tell you that I am thinking of you, and your precious Scoop. My heart is aching for you and your family. You are not alone honey. We are all here for you, if you need us. I know just how you are feeling, and it kills me to know that someone else is going through that amount of pain. But I guess pain is the price we pay for love. It is a mighty steep price.
Love and prayers to you, honey.
Moo

[Budsters Mom]

Sending you tons of love today Vicki. I have been thinking of you.:)

[jackiev]

Oh Vicki :( I am so so sorry for your loss. Sending much love and many hugs your way.

~Jackie and Ugga

[Trish]

Hi Vicki
Popping in to say Hi and thanks for posting what happened with Scoop, sounds like it was so sudden and such a shock for you at the end. Loads of hugs for you today xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[milosmom]

just sending a few more hugs and healing prayers my friend....thinking of you xoxox

[Fellasmom]

Hi Vicki
Just wanted to say hello and let you know I was thinking of you.My heart breaks for you as I know what you are going through.Sending lots of hugs and prayers your way today.
Love,
Patty

[Mel-Tia]

I will be thinking of you and precious Scoop while I am away.

Take care of yourself

Love
Mel
Xxxx

[scoora]

I feel like I am going to explode. There is more that I haven't talked about that went on the last few weeks. I am now feeling responsible for Scoop's passing. I would never have intentionally hurt my sweet Scoop but I'm afraid it might be my fault. I will never be able to live with this. It is tearing me apart. The pieces came together in my head tonight and I feel like I am going to fall apart. My heart hurts thinking I might be responsible for my Scoop losing his life. Dear God, please help me.

It's been hard and I haven't told all the story of what had been happening the last few weeks. I was going to in time. It's just been so hard for me. Now I feel like it might be my fault. Looking back on things I realize I made wrong decisions. I was hoping to talk to Scoop's IMS today. She ran some tests on him on Monday and said she would call me with the results. I really need to have a talk with her and see if she can help me. I'll even make an appointment and see her. That's how much I need to talk. I hope I can make it through the weekend.

On the news they were talking about blood infections and I looked things up on the internet tonight and now I am feeling responsible for my Scoop not being here. On May 29th we took Scoop to the Animal Specialty Center in NY for a consultation for Cyberknife treatment. All his tests were good and the doctor said he didn't see any reason why he couldn't have the treatment. He had MRI, CT scan, abdominal ultrasound, thoracic radiograph done. One treatment was scheduled for the following week. During that week his eating got pickier. The day before the treatment, he didn't eat hardly at all and slept all day. His belly did seem to move a little faster with his breathing. We drove to NY that evening and stayed overnight. The next morning he seemed a bit better. I took him to the hospital for his treatment and told the nurse what was going on. The doctor called and said they were going ahead and did I want a feeding tube put in after the treatment so we would have time to figure out what was going on with his picky eating and give the radiation time to work on the tumor. When they were ready to release him, which was later in the day the doctor didn't like his breathing. He listened to him and checked his oxygenation. It was good or he said he wouldn't release him. He said to make sure he gets checked out when we get home.

We stayed over night again. The next day when we got home I took Scoop to see the IMS. She said he had aspiration pneumonia. She said she thought it should have showed up within 3-4 days and this was longer. He wasn't doing too badly except he threw up a couple of times and I was afraid he wouldn't keep his meds down so Monday I took him to the hospital. He stayed for 3 days. The IMS was happy with the chest x-ray. I took him home with antibiotics. The next day I took Scoop back for blood work and his white count was high so she did a culture and started him on Clindamycin. The culture came back showing the blood infection but he was on the right antibiotic. I have to stop for a few minutes.

[Mel-Tia]

I am here Vicki. Up early to get packed.

You're not at fault, everything you did was to help him, I know it's tough but you can't blame yourself.

Sending you tight hugs

[Mel-Tia]

Still here holding you tight.

[scoora]

Scoop's regular vet wanted to try a med for his diarrhea. She talked to the IMS and they agreed for him to stop the one antibiotic he was taking for the pneumonia because it can cause diarrhea and start these pills to try to help bind him up. He still had the diarrhea but he wasn't going as often and it was just a bit harder. This past Saturday he seemed OK. He ate some dog food for breakfast and supper and had some chicken from Olive Garden in between. I think he also ate a couple of treats.Then during the night he started to have trouble with his breathing. I don't understand why because he was getting one antibiotic for his pneumonia and one for the blood infection. He was doing OK then all of a sudden he wasn't.

Did he get the infection from having the feeding tube put in? Should he have not had the radiation treatment? Should he have stayed on the 2 antibiotics for the pneumonia? Should he have been back on his Vetoryl? Maybe his immune system would have been stronger if he was on it.

This is so freakin hard to understand and cope with. I miss my baby Scoop so much it hurts. Now to think if I made a wrong decision and it cost him his life, I will never forgive myself. All I wanted to do was help him and now look what I have done. Nothing went right and now my Scoop is gone forever. To think I might have made the wrong decisions and cost him his life is just too much for me to take.

Please forgive me Scoop. I love you so much and I didn't want to hurt you much less cost you your life. I will have to try to live with this the rest of my life, which is going to be so very hard. I will have to get some help. I absolutely hate that all this happened and I hate the day I heard the word Cushings.
Please forgive me.
By the way. The doctor in NY said when he saw Scoop's MRI that he couldn't be sure if the tumor was causing his picky eating. I asked why and he said he didn't think it was big enough. I still decided to go ahead with the treatment because he said he wasn't sure. Scoop's tumor in Nov. was 8mmx3mm. It was 1cm x .7cm now. It grew 2mm in height and 4mm wide. The width more than doubled. He showed me the two side by side and it had gotten more rounded. So I just thought I wouldn't have to worry about the tumor after the treatment. Now I have lost my Scoop and it is even worse than worrying about the tumor because if I hadn't made those decisions he might still be here with us.

Talking to the IMS on Monday when I visited with Scoop she said his picky eating could have had something to do with his intestinal problems. I sure wish someone would have explained all of that to me. I might have done things differently. I said maybe I would have had him scoped first. She said he could have gotten the pneumonia from that too. ( But did the infection come from the feeding tube? )She said I needed to start somewhere and I started with the radiation and there was nothing wrong with that. She said this when he was still here with us. (but now he's gone). She did an ultrasound on Monday and she said his gall bladder had so much sludge she said if he would have been a healthier dog she would have recommended to have it removed.

Now nothing matters. My Scoop is gone and I feel so guilty.

[scoora]

Mel-I feel like I am losing it. I feel so horrible that I didn't do right by my Scoop.

[Mel-Tia]

You did do right by him sweetheart. I can't answer all the medical questions but from reading your post his tumor had grew and would have continued to grow. You could never foresee any of the other complications

You took him there to give him his best shot.

I know that I questioned everything for weeks afterward I lost Tia. If I could have taken her for radiation I would of Vicki

[scoora]

Thanks Mel,
It is going to take a long time, if ever, to get over this. It hurts so much and then to feel responsible for his death is too much to handle.
There is a support group that meets around here. I think I will have to check into it. I just can't handle this.

[Mel-Tia]

I think it does help to talk about it but it's so tough to get the words out. Remember you have all your friends here who love you and people who have been through similar tough times.

You just have to put one foot in front of the other. Some days will be worse than others, try not to beat yourself up too much as you loved the little guy, you never in a million years would have done anything to hurt him.

Big big hug

Love
Mel
Xxxxxx

[scoora]

Last night I had trouble falling asleep. Then all of a sudden I was awakened and couldn't fall asleep right away again. I had a nightmare that Scoop had fallen off of something and I quick rushed to pick him up and then I woke up so startled and scared. Now I don't feel like sleeping again tonight.
I miss my Scoop so much. I was always with him. I want him here with me.

[scoora]

Hugs back to you Mel.
I just can't help thinking if I would have done things differently he would still be here with us and I would be holding him.

[Mel-Tia]

I thought the same Vicki. I think it is part of grieving.

So sorry you had a nightmare. It's hard enough to get to sleep as it is.

[scoora]

Mel-I better shut the computer off and try to get some sleep. I have a dentist appointment in the morning. Maybe I will turn on the TV and try to fall asleep. Thanks for always being here. I hope you can enjoy your holiday.
Big hugs and be safe.
Let us know when you are back.

[Budsters Mom]

Dear Vicki,
Just dropping in to give you mass hugs and healing energy. Scoop loves you so much! He is thankful for everything you did for him and for all the time you had together. Your kind of love transcends every dimension. He will be with you always. I know in my heart that that is true. I also know that Scoop would want you to be happy. Xxxxxxx

[Mel-Tia]

Ok babe, will ping you a visitor message or post here as soon as I am back.

Lots of love and hugs

Mel
Xxxxx

[goldengirl88]

Dear Vicki:
I am reading your postings and crying as my heart is breaking for you. Please, I know it is hard not to do, but don't blame yourself. You were struggling for so long with a way to help Scoop out of this terrible situation. You did everything within your power to get him the best treatment you could. I don't think there is any right decision with this horrible disease. As I look back over the last 11 months of my life, it has been devastating to say the least. I remember my life being decent, and being happy before Cushings entered the picture. It has been the downfall of both Tipper and me. I can just burst into tears at any given time, so I have basically isolated myself because people do not and will not even try to understand how a dog can affect my life like this. Tipper is my family, my best friend, my confidant etc. all rolled into one. The thought of not seeing her sweet face because of the ungodly disease kills me. I know the deep dark hole where you are at. I lost my last precious dog to cancer, and blamed myself for the decisions I made. It took me years to actually function normally. I still have nightmares about her. I don't think I can go on without Tipper, it will be the last and final blow to me. God Bless you Vicki that you may find your way out of this deep dark hole. I am praying for you and your precious Scoop in heaven.
Patti

[addy]

Oh Vicki,

I think it is as Mel said, part of the grieving process, if only I had done this, or not done that, everything has risks and we have no way of having guaranteed outcome. Even Koko's dental has risks to some degree with his partially collapsing trachea, anesthesia, etc. The important thing to try to remember is that you fought for Scoop every step of the way, every decision was made out of love for him and because you tried to do right by him.

We can all play arm chair quarter back, I do it with Zoe all the time, I think it comes with the territory.

But Vicki, please do not blame yourself. Scoop would not want that for you at all. Of that I am sure.

Big Hugs and much love

[Fellasmom]

Hi Vicki
I just read your last few posts and my heart is with you.The blame and regret and second guessing everything is part of grieving as Mel said.I still am in that place sometimes and it's a horrible place to be!

I don't know that much about Cushings but I read everything you did for Scoop and you did everything you could-you made all the RIGHT decisions.Please don't doubt yourself.I only know how feeding tubes affect people but I've never seen anyone get an infection from one.It is an easy procedure that is done quite often with relatively no complications.The intestines are considered "dirty" so bacteria is already there-the only thing I've ever seen with a feeding tube is that occasionally the skin around the insertion site becomes a little pink.I can almost say with certainty that the feeding tube did NOT cause any type of infection.Feeding tubes are a great way of providing temporary nutrition while people/dogs are recovering from an illness that prevents them from getting adequate amts of nutrition.You did the right thing and gave Scoop every possible chance of recovery.

I know the loss is unbearable and I wish I could take your pain away.We love them so much that when they go,we always beat ourselves up and think that there MUST be something we missed.From the sounds of it VIcki,you did everything for Scoop and made all the right decisions for him.Its good to get your feelings out there and talk about it.We are all here for you.Big hug to you and thinking of you.

Love,
Patty

[Simba's Mom]

Sending hugs and prayers Vicki, one day at a time, that's all any of us can do, your a great Momma!

[molly muffin]

Vicki HUGS!! You did everything humanly possible to give Scoop the best chance of any to live as long as possible. He had a wonderful home provided by you and he loved you.
I think guilt is a part of the grief process and that most people end up feeling guilty for things that were completely out of their control.

Don't blame yourself for trying to help Scoop.
hugs,
Sharlene

[khockman]

Hugs to you today Vicki - please do not second guess all you have done! You exemplify a wonderful mama - if only all pups had someone who has been so attentive to everything as you have been.

Saturday hugs to you!

xoxox,
Kerry (Millie's Mama)

[scoora]

Thank you so much everyone!
Hugs to all of you!!

[Trish]

Hi Vicki

You went to the ends of the earth to find treatment to help your precious! I am so upset for you that it did not work out better for Scoop, but reading all you have posted there is nothing I could see where you let him down at all... quite the opposite. Aspiration pneumonia is always a risk with procedures involving anaesthetic, or tubes it would be hard to know how it happened it could have just been something that occurred naturally as well. There was so much going on for Scoop, I remember you posting his tummy had been giving trouble for ages. I think if you did nothing with the growth of that nasty tumour you would have lost him anyway. You tried Vicki, you threw everything you could at that tumour to try and beat it so you can rest assured you did not cause Scoops passing by the decisions you made. Big hugs for you xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[scoora]

Thanks to all my wonderful friends.
Your words mean so much to me.
It's been a tough week and I don't see it getting any better any time soon.
Reading all your posts does help.
Thank you again.
Hugs to all.

[scoora]

Yesterday I got a call from someone from the IMS's office. She told me about a lady who comes there every so often and a group meets to talk about their loss. I am hoping to be able to join them tomorrow(Monday). It is right at the hospital where Scoop passed away. I hope it brings me some comfort for I am feeling pretty down and just horrible right now. I miss my Scoop so much and it hurts so bad.
The lady from the doctor's office also told me that the test results they are waiting on have only come back as a partial as of yesterday. She said the blood culture so far hasn't grown anything. The pancreas is suspicious but she said it could all change. I am so confused about what happened to my Scoop. I am afraid I will never know what took my sweet Scoop from me. I am hoping to talk with the IMS and I hope she can at least give me her opinion about what she thinks might have happened. Not knowing makes it even worse for me. I know it doesn't change anything but I feel this need to know what happened to my sweet boy Scoop.

[Fellasmom]

Hi Vicki
So glad you found a meeting-I hope it makes you feel a little better.I looked all over for one in this area and never was able to find one.I do hope you find out what happened to poor Scoop so that it can ease the guilt that you are feeling.I never found out why Fella died.They didn't have an answer for me,just kept telling me all the things he DIDNT have and how he was such a good candidate for the surgery-very frustrating!!!You and your Scoop are in my thoughts quite often.I hope you are able to find the answers you are looking for from the vet.
Love,
Patty

[molly muffin]

Vicki, that is really good that they have a meeting that you can attend to help deal with the grief. Sometimes humane societies will have one set up, but all too often, people seem to just brush off the death of our furbabies as if it isn't as important or something. That is so not true as all of us here know and understand.
Grief for any reason, can take a huge toll on the body, on the mind, on your spirit over all.
I hope that this and talking to the IMS will help you.

hugs,
Sharlene

[addy]

I think the support group is a wonderful idea. Sometimes, maybe we have to think that Medicine is not an exact science and sometimes the doctors can hypothesis but without an autopsy, they may not know for sure what causes a loved one demise.

I know that does not make it easier for you, Vicki.:(

Sending much love

[scoora]

I don't remember if it was the emergency doctor on the night Scoop passed or if it was the IMS(I talked to her on the phone that night) said something about an autopsy and they way she put it she thought it might not give an answer. I keep running it through my head that maybe I should have asked more questions about it. That night was so unbearable I wasn't thinking at all except that my Scoop was gone. I wish I knew what happened that caused his death. Maybe I could come to terms with it a bit sooner. I don't know. I keep thinking if this could have been prevented. I just feel the need to know and it is driving me crazy. Just dealing with Scoop not being here is hard enough. I was thinking the blood infection was too bad and that's what caused his passing but if the culture shows in wasn't a factor then what was?

On Monday morning I talked to the IMS on the phone. We had been talking about her doing an abdominal ultrasound sometime soon. So she asked if she should do it that morning. I said OK. When I got there to visit Scoop the IMS talked about the results and said she could repeat the blood culture to make sure nothing else was growing and she said she could aspirate the pancreas and send that out too. So that's what we were waiting to find out the results.

Do many people have autopsies done? At first I didn't even realize they did them on pets. I just have this overwhelming need to know what happen that took my Scoop away from us. This just sucks!

[labblab]

Oh Vicki, I hate it that you are tearing yourself up with these questions. I know it feels really, really important to you to try to figure out exactly what happened. But even if you were somehow able to know, I'm wondering how that would change things for you. Whatever happened was outside of your control, and reflected a catastrophic medical problem for Scoop. So even if you could pinpoint exactly what went wrong, it was neither your fault nor anything that you knew to prevent.

Instead, you truly went to the ends of the earth to try to help Scoop. There were really no stones left unturned as far as treatment options -- you had seen to that. So whether or not you are able to know the exact problem from which Scoop could not recover, it was not for your lack of love or lack of trying.

So truly, before you continue to beat yourself up over finding the cause, I beg you to ask yourself how it will really change things if you somehow can find out. It won't change your love for Scoop, it won't change your lives together, it won't change the lengths to which you went to try to help him, and sadly -- it won't change your heartbreak over missing him. He would want you to take care of yourself, Vicki, and not punish yourself with endless questions for which there may never be answers. Please hold Scoop safely in your heart, and know that HE knows you did everything within your power to heal him. But for whatever reason, this was his time to be released.

Marianne

[mcdavis]

So very sorry to hear the sad news about Scoop. Please don't blame yourself because you did everything you possibly could and more, and that is all that anyone can ask.

[addy]

Aww, Vicki, I did not mean you should have an autopsy done. Marianne is very wise in her words to you. How will it change things? Please dont tear yourself up like this. Sweetie, it is not your fault. It just is not and you have to believe that.

[scoora]

Thank you for everything said. At first I was feeling guilty that it might have been my fault but I am not looking at it that way anymore.

Marianne, your words make sense to me and I know what you said is true and I thank you. This is what I hate about myself. I have such a hard time just letting things go and I know this will nag at me for a long time. Probably the rest of my life. That's just the way I am. I can't change it. I wish I could. Just like I couldn't let that tumor go. I just thought it had to be the cause of his eating problems. I just think if I would have the answer maybe I could find a wee little bit of peace sooner than later. Things just don't make sense and it is so frustrating to me.

They say hindsight is 20/20. If I would have known that problems with your different organs, pancreas, liver, etc can cause picky eating I would have had those things checked into sooner. I kept assuming it was caused by the tumor, which it could have been but I could have had other things checked into sooner. It turns out the tumor PROBABLY wasn't causing the eating problem at this time. I probably would have still done the radiation thing but after checking into the other issues months ago. Maybe that would have made a difference. Scoop's vet did mention scoping but she said it will cost this much and that's not including biopsies but never said it might be a good idea to help his eating. Maybe we could have gotten to the bottom of his diarrhea problem. He had that for 4 months, poor baby. She tried different things but nothing worked. Same thing when he had the head tilt. She said I know of something to check for a ruptured eardrum. Well it took weeks till she finally checked it. It just feels like the vet should say this and that and get it done. After the diarrhea started it took a couple weeks to try this one med. Then it would be weeks later till it got talked about again. It seems like things just took too much time unless that's just the way they do things. I guess I should have been pushy about things but I didn't know what was going on. I guess I can take the blame for not insisting on going to the IMS on a regular basis.

This all started because of Cushing's. Things were going along fine with his diabetes but when Cushing's started it was down hill. It was a year ago last July when the ear and eye infections started and that was the start of everything going bad. With everything that Scoop had been through this past year I just feel the need to know what it was that happened.

He was such a good boy about everything. I love him with all my heart and I wish things would have not ended like this. He was so very special.

[goldengirl88]

Vicki:
My heart aches for you. I never wanted to hear that Scoop passed as it brings to the forefront the reality of what will eventually become my Tipper's fate. I know how much you loved and cared for Scoop, you went above and beyond leaving no stone unturned. Please don't feel guilty about not knowing all theses things as we are not Veterinarians, but just doing the best we can with research, and the help of the group. It is sad, but I truly believe that the Dr.'s today do not pay enough attention to the owners information, and don't communicate often enough with the owner. There are so many things going on at once with a Cushings dog that it is hard as a lay person to get a handle on all of it. You can't be expected to know all this. You did right by Scoop, and you did what your heart told you to do, and Scoop would tell you he is grateful if he could talk from heaven. God Bless you for all you have been through, and God Bless sweet Scoop. I wish for your sake things had turned out differently.
Patti

[scoora]

Patti,
Thank you. I makes me feel good to know that others feel like I did my best for Scoop. I did try so hard. I just feel like you said, there is so much going on with cush pups I don't know how a mommy can know what to do about everything. I just wish things didn't end the way they did. The vet's office is so busy with other patients I would be talking to his vet and she would say, I have an appointment waiting or this or that and we would have to stop our conversation. There were many times I felt like I couldn't say everything I wanted to. So frustrating. Well now she doesn't have to put up with me. I don't know if I want to keep going there with Raleigh but I just don't know what to do. Any vet's office could be the same way. If I do keep taking him there I think I will start to see another doctor. There are 4 in that office. It will be hard to go back there seeing how much time Scoop spent there, check-ups, tests, etc. It will make me sad and angry to walk into that place. I had to pick something up for Raleigh the other day. I dashed in and let the girl know I wanted to get out of there right away. The last time I had Scoop there was Thursday before he passed to have his tube looked at because my daughter notice sometime. It needed to be cleaned then they wrapped it. Only took a couple of minutes but because it was something noticed right before they were closing I had to pay an emergency visit. We got there 5 minutes after their closing time. I gladly did what I had to for my Scoop to make sure he was OK but you'd think they could cut you a little break. I'm so upset with losing my Scoop I'm just so frustrated with everything.

Patti, keep up with what you are doing for your Tipper. Hopefully you won't have to go through this pain any time soon. You have done so much for Tipper.

This pain just sucks. I miss my Scoop so much. Tonight it will be a week and it feels like forever since I held him and kissed his sweet face.

[KennyJ]

Thoughts and prayers going your way. You were a great mom.

[scoora]

KennyJ-Thank you.

[goldengirl88]

Vicki:
I think I would have to change vets. All the bad experiences you had there with Scoop, and how he was treated would make me go else where. The only problem is where? I will tell you when I first moved here I went to all the vets offices and went inside and asked the receptionist if she minded me asking the dog owners a few questions. My first question was always, why do you come to this particular vet? My second was is this practice about caring for your dogs needs above money? You would be surprised what some told me. I also asked what they thought of other vets in the area. Got an earful there. Unfortunately because we live in the country my vet is the best of the lot, and he could care less about Tipper, and I know it. I go to him only because, I know more than him about this disease, and I use him for testing, RX's, emergencies, referrals etc. I just basically tell him what to do, and what Tipper needs and he goes along with it, or checks with Dechra. If he does not call me back I call him until he does, if he tells me something I don't feel is right I don't let him do it, I go research it first. I come back on here and ask everyone their opinion, then do what I think is best. My vet is only interested in money, I know that up front, so I use him to my advantage. If I get stumped I fax a letter to the IMS. and she emails me back with the answers. I would never in my life trust any, and I do mean any Dr. with my Tipper's life. I always hear them out, and go do my own research on here, and online. Then I come to a decision. I have decided that these Dr.'s consider your dog a money maker for their monetary gain, and do not really care, as your dog is a number to them. It sounds harsh, but that is the reality out there now. This is big business, and they want their cut of the pie. I am not saying there are not some good vets left out there that do it for the love of the animal, they are a small minority. I think after dealing with my vet this long he realizes he better not screw anything up where Tipper is concerned, cause I won't tolerate it. I have to give him that attitude or he would just take her for granted also. When I go in his office he knows I mean business, and knows if he gives me an answer I don't think is right, that I will endlessly research until I find the right answer. He knows if he is not sure on something to just come out and tell me that, and not try to guess on things. This has become my only way of assuring myself that I can keep Tipper safe from mistakes. When I told him I noticed a change in the way Tipper's eyes look, he told me it was old age coming on, looked in them and told me nothing was wrong. I didn't believe him and went over his head and scheduled an eye appt. with a specialist I had used for a cat. The specialist confirmed I was right and Tipper has calcium deposits from the Cushings. He said we caught it early and if need be is treatable with drops, so Tipper gets rechecked in August to see if they are worse. The specialist sent a report to my vet. The vet got it and said not one word to me about receiving it to this day, because he knew I would really let him have it, for saying nothing was wrong. I don't want to depress you, but feel others reading this should know these facts also. When I pick a Dr. or specialist for myself, I do it by asking another Dr. who he and his family go to. That way it weeds out the lousy Dr.'s. In todays world you have to look out for your babies unfortunately. It's sad but true. I hope maybe you can take some time and find a good vet, one interested in the well being of Raleigh, as you have had so much heartache already. I continue to pray for you and sweet Scoop. Blessings
Patti

[scoora]

Thanks Patti

[Dodie]

I am so very sorry to read that you have lost your precious scoop. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

Dodie & molly

[scoora]

Dodie and Molly-thank you.

[scoora]

It has been a week since my sweet Scoop passed away. It feels like an eternity. I still can't believe he is gone. I love and miss him so much my heart hurts.

[goldengirl88]

Vicki:
Sweet Scoop will live on forever in your stories and memories, I miss hearing you post about him, and my heart is very heavy knowing how you are struggling to cope with this. God Bless you
Patti

[scoora]

Patti-Thank you
It has been very difficult.

[Squirt's Mom]

A Dogs Message from Heaven

I am sending you this message as I can see you are still having struggles with coping each day since my passing.

You may walk in darkness and your heart is broken with my absence. I haven't left you as you hold me in your heart. Please don't be sad as the light will come shinning through for you. For each day of sunshine, think of it as reminder of me beaming down on you. Be happy that I am no longer in pain from sickness or injury. I don't want you grieving for me for long as it makes me sad to see you in so much hurt. Don't dwell on the guilt you feel for making decisions we both know you had to do and I thank you for trying so hard to help me.

Cry if you need to miss me if you must, but don't worry about me, I'm in a place I love.

Yesterday I talked with the Creator and he said you'd come one day. I wanted you to know this. So you see I'm happy and I am free. There's nothing to worry me. Dry your eyes and make plans to see me again. I will look for you and when you get here, you will see what a wonderful place this is.

Let me tell you what it's like here in this wonderful place. There are no clouds or dreary rain…Just lot of blue sky and sunshine casted on us from His most gracious presence. There are miles of green grassy fields and meadows of beautiful flowers.

There are no cruel humans to hurt us, just the keepers who have been specially chosen to care for us...

We all get along here large and small. Some of us had a pretty rough life while others were very spoiled. We run and play tag or chase balls. We can be lazy as we want and take long naps. The Creator checks on us each day.

I have met many of your friend’s fur kids here.

It's been neat to see my brothers and sisters again that came here before me. There is never a sad moment. Just so much to keep busy....We get a lot of new kids arriving daily and is fun to show them the ropes here.

We are here waiting here for you when your purpose on Earth is complete. My wish for you is to be happy for me and not sad. It will be the most happiest of reunions and I will lick away all your tears. There will be nothing but good times for ever and ever.

I will let you feel my presence if you will just have faith and allow it to happen.

When the time is right and it will come, I want you to take in another fur kid to care for just as you cared for me and protected me from all harm and gave me the security that I needed all those years. They deserve the life I had with you. Don't think of it as replacing me but giving another the love you have inside you to bring joy to another. I felt honored to a part of your life and you gave me so much of yourself.... That will always be special.

You were my life and I will always love you for that.

I am not that far away and I will be close to you in spirit and will remain in your heart. That is the bond that connects us. Do not think of me when I was at my worst but all the great memories we shared together. I hate to see you cry. I am happy here so be glad for me.

I want to be remembered for all the silly things I did and things we did together. We had some great times together.... So cherish those memories.

So my best friend, until your task on Earth is finished, take care of yourself and help another less fortunate kid to know the love I shared with you and you will be forever rewarded. You will know when the time is right.

Love you Forever,
Your 4 legged soul-mate.

Author...Kay Faulkner

[milosmom]

just wanted you to know that you are the best mom ever vicki and i am so sure scoop would agree hun ...maybe it would make sense for you to try another place since the one you are using will probably be a sad,mad place for you to go...sending you so many xoxox patty(milo)meka xoxox <3

[Fellasmom]

Hi Vicki
Just checking in to see how you are.Was wondering if you went to the support group last night?I just read Leslie's post and am sobbing-how beautiful!!I hope you find it as comforting as I did when I read it.Healing thoughts and big hugs to you today.
Love,
Patty

[addy]

Stopping by to give you a hug and remind you as everyone else has - you did all you could for your Scoop. Your love knew no bounds when it came to Scoop, you fought so hard for him.

I am so sorry, Vicki, I wish I could make the pain better.

[scoora]

Leslie, Patty, Patty, Addy-Thanks
Yes I went last night. It was the counselor, me and two other people who were together. It makes you feel better when there but then you get home and everything comes rushing back. Last night was one week since Scoop's passing so that made it even harder.

I also talked to the two nurses who were with Scoop his last night. They loved Scoop and tried their best. The one nurse gave him an ear, neck and back rub for about 10 minutes till about 10:50PM. She then took another dog out and the other nurse checked on Scoop and noticed he wasn't breathing. Just then the first nurse was coming in. They told me everyone stopped what they were doing and started CPR. I got the dreaded phone call and dashed over there but there was no hope. He was gone and they couldn't help him. I miss him so very much.

[scoora]

Leslie, That is beautiful. They all are.

[scoora]

Today I had a meeting with Scoop's IMS. I said I wanted to talk to her in person instead of over the phone. I said I would pay but she didn't charge me. She said she believes that what happened to Scoop was he had multiple organ failure from the infection. She said she believes his immune system was compromised and he couldn't fight the infection. She said why his immune system was so bad that she didn't know and she said you can't fix an immune system. She told me she was surprised at what happened. She didn't expect Scoop to pass away. Of course after I'm home and start thinking I have other questions. I guess I'll have to call.

Before I left she said, this is from us. She gave me a book. It's called Dog Heaven. It reminds me of a children's book. There's not a lot of words on each page. Scoop's IMS wrote a note to me inside the front of the book, the other IMS who is also co-owner of the hospital wrote inside the back of the book and others wrote in different spots on the pages inside. I think they are the nurses from the daytime. The daytime Veterinary Referral and the emergency are two separate things. There is plenty of room to write on the pages. That was so special.

This whole thing with Scoop is so hard. I just don't see it getting any easier any time soon. I feel so bad.

[molly muffin]

Hi Vicki,
What struck me is the Scoop, had a 10 minute back,ear rub before passing quietly in his sleep.
I think that while there is nothing that can make the pain go away, that it is good that he wasn't in distress, he just went quietly after having a relaxing massage.
There may never be a definitive answer. His body was tired, it had fought long and hard for him.
I wish there where answers to every question, but what is important now, is that Scoop had a really wonderful life. He lived well and he played well and he loved well and in return he was loved. There isn't much better that can be said for any life.

hugs,
Sharlene

[khockman]

Oh Vicki - I just can't imagine the thoughts that keep going through your head. Just like all of us here do for our pups, I know you did everything humanly possible for Scoop...it seems that the vets cared a bunch for the two of you as well. Prayers being sent your way as I know this is such a sorrowful time...

xoxox,

Kerry (Millie's Mama)

[milosmom]

it is truly a heartbreak losing our babies,believe me i know...vicki know that you did oh so much to keep your scoop comfortable and gave him the most wonderful life and know that he loved you so so much.you take all the time you need to grieve for him because this will eventually bring you to a healing heart.i will always be checking in on you to see how you are...take care patty (milo)meka xoxoxo

[Fellasmom]

Vicki
Not knowing the WHY can be very difficult-sometimes it takes a long time to put all the pieces together and find some sort of closure.How wonderful that Scoop received such loving care by the nurses.He must have been so comforted by a nice backrub.After my Fella passed,I learned my dog walker performed Reiki and gave him massages at night.It was so touching-it was such a comfort to know that my little guy was shown such tenderness and kindness as was your Scoop.So thoughtful that the staff gave you the book with all their signatures-obviously they too loved your Scoop very much and he was in loving caring hands.
Patty

[doxiesrock912]

Vicki,
how wonderful (the book with signatures)!
Vets that take the time to do something like this truly care. Scoop's passing was a shock, but it sounds like he crossed peacefully and we can't ask for more than that when the time comes. A massage :) That made me smile.

He was tired sweetie. Nothing we can do about that. One day, we'll be tired too. xoxo

[Simba's Mom]

Hey Vicki, thank you for sharing your stories about your precious angel Scoop, I'm so glad he crossed over rainbow bridge so peacefully....thats my hope for Simba too...I loved the part about the book with the signatures, what a sweet gesture...take care hon, sending hugs and prayers as you miss your sweet Scoop..
On a light side whenever I read about Scoop, I always think of those corn chips Scoops, not sure why, cute name....maybe Scoop was little dipper?:)

[Trish]

Poor Scoop had so much going on didn't he, how lovely to hear he had a nice massage and then went to sleep. I think if it was me, I would feel good to hear those nurses took such good care of him, it is lovely they do all those little extras to make our babies feel loved while they are in their care.

That book sounds precious, what a sweet thing for them all to do. I know it is going to take a long time for you to come to terms with this, you spent so long trying to help him and now it is such a big hole in your life with all the spare time to just think if I had only done this, or we could have tried that. Sometimes it is just time no matter what we try and do. So hard. Sending lots of hugs to you xxxxx

[goldengirl88]

Vicki:
I know the deep love, and the connection you and Scoop shared. There is not doubt it is going to be hard to overcome your heartbreak. I am hoping your husband is of some comfort to you when you are feeling so alone and distressed. I am here for you anytime, and I do above all respect and acknowledge how totally someone can love their dog. Tipper and I have had our struggles the last few weeks. I get in a panic if I call her and she doesn't come right away. This disease has taught me so many things. The most important is to spend as much time as I can with Tipper. She was so healthy before all this I just feel robbed. I have no family to turn to, just myself so it can get overwhelming at times. I think I really hit an all time low when Scoop and Buddy passed. It is hard to stay upbeat and positive, but every nite when Tipper and I pray I thank God for another day with my precious girl. I have made so many deals with God to keep my Tipper alive that I have lost track. I prayed to God to please give me a sign of what he wants me to do, and just then a commercial for St. Judes came on the t.v. asking for donations for the children. I thought maybe that is what he wants me to do. The very next day in my mail came a request for money from St. Judes. I had never gotten one previously to my knowledge. I decided then that is what I was supposed to do, give money to the children. Little can I afford it, but I do it anyway. We all need to put our brains together and get some research started on this disease so others after us do not have to be tortured with this. I am praying for you to get some peace of mind. The book you were given is a blessing by people that care. To honor Scoop think of something you can do to make an impact on this disease, that will help heal your heart and honor Scoop at the same time. God Bless You Vicki, and know I think of you all day long.
Patti

[scoora]

Patti-You are such a sweetheart. I hope and pray you and Tipper have many more happy years together.
I wish we could come up with something to do to honor our furbabies and help others who have to walk this path. My Scoop had diabetes for almost 2 years before he started with Cushings. He wasn't having any problems with the diabetes until Cushings came along. Then everything just went downhill. Everything! I hate the day I heard the word Cushings. Cushings is probably what brought Scoop's immune system down and he couldn't fight the infection that took him from us.
I am not very good with organizing or being a leader to do something like that but you have a very good idea. Maybe others might have an idea. Wasn't Mel going to talk to a doctor? The only thing I know about is Dr. Bruyette doing the study on shrinking the tumor. It would be wonderful if someone could come up with a way to prevent it but they have no idea why dogs get Cushings.
Thank you for your prayers. It has been and continues to be very, very hard.
Thank you to you Patti and everyone for caring so much. I wish we could do something to make an impact.
I miss my Scoop so much.

[Doccy]

Vicki,
Just checking in to give you hugs. We will all tell you as many times as you need to hear it that you were the best mama ever to precious Scoop. I continue to pray for you and Scoop and I'm sending you big hugs.

Jessica and Doc

[Budsters Mom]

Hi Vicki,
I'm just popping in to send you tons of love and strength today. I do understand your struggle. Processing Buddy's loss is difficult for me too. We are here or you always. Xxxxx

[milosmom]

hey vicki i am also just checking in on you (the queen worrier) and sending you peaceful fun loving happy energy and blessings.... thinking of scoop with that most beautiful face,remember the wonderful days shared together hun !!! patty (milo)meka xoxox scoop will always be present ...

[Fellasmom]

Hi Vicki
Just checking in and thinking of you and Scoop.Big hugs and lots of love being sent your way.
Love,
Patty

[scoora]

Jessica, Kathy, Patty, Patty-Thanks for checking in. The pain still hasn't eased up. My husband mentioned something about Scoop at supper and I just started crying. Every little thing reminds me that he's not here and it still hurts so much.
Thanks for being here and listening to me. The counselor said to just keep talking about it.
Hugs to all.

[milosmom]

talk about your litl man all you want !!! i found that after i put more pics of milo all around to see him and feel his presence helped me feel somewhat better,i am looking at his most precious face right now with happy tears ...it will take some time to process your pain and sorrow so dont rush it my friend...xoxox

[scoora]

There are some things the IMS told me that I don't think I said on here. If I can bring myself to tell them later, I will.

Cried so much already this morning.
Missing my Scoop.

[scoora]

Tomorrow, Friday, should be the day my Scoop comes home.
It will be a tough day.

[Squirt's Mom]

Oh, but it will be nice to have him home where he belongs. I would give anything just about to have my daughter's ashes here with me.

I know Scoop is watching over you with all the tenderness he has, waiting for that day when you will smile through your tears at the memories.

Hugs,
Leslie and the gang

[LabDad]

Vicki, glad you will have Scoop in your home. We have Lulu in the family room with a nice framed picture of her taken about four or five years ago. Also, her paw print we had done. It was winter when Lulu passed, so cremation seemed like a great idea, and you know I do like the idea, whether it's people or pets.

You know you mentioned remembering our pets, and I am planning on doing that for our Lulu. For example my photo album, which you can see of Lulu holds the images I will choose from. I also plan on using some short video clips, (thank goodness for the cellphone cameras) though the early years, back in the early 2000s, the quality isn't the best.

My theme will revolve around the Christmas' as I believe there will be pictures from everyone of them, with some video. I have done this for my dad when he passed away, 25 minute story of his life and just recently did one for the village of Romeo, Michigan, a 60 minute story of it's first 175 years, as the town celebrates that this year.

BUT, I am waiting on the word, that I can say, and that word is 'hired'. I enjoy doing this, but it takes time, and I don't want (can't) afford to spend more time on this activity.

Just a thought on what you can do, it's fun and you can use free software, such as Windows Movie Maker (adequate for free, though there is better software but $$$ ...)

Take care, and when I do have the video, slide show done, I will post a link to it.

[Marmi]

Oh, Vicki...my heart breaks for you! I can truly empathize since I just lost my Rudy early yesterday morning...we were supposed to go get him Friday also to bring him home for recovery from his surgery. Instead we will go pick him up to bring him home for his burial...it will take a long time for both of us to heal but with God's help it will happen! Cry out to Him when you feel that overwhelming pain and despair...He loves you!!! Everywhere I turn I am reminded of my sweet precious Rudy but I am trying to focus on and be thankful for the ten years of love that we shared. I have one of his favorite stuffed toys beside me right now and I will sleep with it next to my heart for a long time I'm sure! Your Scoop was absolutely adorable and I know he knew how much you loved him even though you could not be there when he passed away. I was not with Rudy and I am praying so hard that he was too sedated to know it...God knows what is best and what we can bear...I am thankful that my last memory of him was happy and full of love as I gave him his last hugs and kisses. I will be praying for you!!! Thank you for your sweet comment about Rudy's pictures...

[LabDad]

Oh Vicki...here is a big ((((((((((HUG)))))))))) for you. I know exactly how you feel. I so dreaded the day we picked Lulu up after her creamation, but I must tell you bringing her home was so healing. She was back where she belonged, with loving parents and loving cats. Our Nellie Cat went over to Lulus ashes and began to sniff the box and rub against it...she knew her best friend was in that box. It was heart breaking. But it was also healing. I am sure you will feel the same way I did. It was so nice to be able to go to her box and talk to her. It takes sooooo long to feel better. It has been 5 months for Lulu and I still cry everyday for her. We have a foster dog, Stanley...Pit Bull, who I just love, but he is not Lulu. He does however take the edge off the pain. I can hold him and cry now, instead of just crying alone, and he comforts me.

I wish you the very best honey. I think of you often, and wonder how you are coping. My love and prayers are with you honey and I'll be thinking of you when you pick up Scoop tomorrow.
Love,
Moo

[addy]

Hugs and love , Vicki, always thinking about you, none of us will ever forget Scoop.

[doxiesrock912]

Lots of hugs Vicki.
Talking helps me to get through the tough times, so talk away sweetie...we're listening.

When you're up to sharing more details from the IMS, please know that you might be helping others on this site by sharing, as painful as it is.

[Roxee's Dad]

Bringing Scoop home will be a very mixed emotional day, but Scoop will be home to be with his loving family and I do hope that gives you a little peace.

(((HUGS)))

[goldengirl88]

Vicki:
Thinking of you and Scoop at this most trying time. Praying you can get thru this. God Bless you and precious Scoop.
Patti

[Snoopy&Rummer_Mom]

Vicki: I am sorry for your loss. I know exactly how you feel because I had to put down my Cocker a year ago. While painful, it is of comfort that we did everything we could for our babies, and when it was time to go we allow them to go with dignity and love-- which is exactly what they gave to us. Remember your baby with all your heart especially the things that made you laugh and smile (that helped me a lot). And I completely understand how hard it is picking up the ashes. I started bawling at the vet when I picked them up, and I still have them with me. Sending a big, big hug and plenty of pup kisses (from Rummer :)

Maria

[Fellasmom]

Vicki
Just thinking about you today as you bring Scoop home-right where he belongs.It was a blessing when I finally had my Fella's ashes home with me even though it was quite a shock to find them in the mail!:eek::eek:.I do hope you find some comfort in bringing him home and feel his presence.Thoughts and prayers are with you.
Patty

[scoora]

Thank you everyone. You are all so sweet. I brought my Scoop home this afternoon. It was so very hard. My tears flow anytime, anywhere I am and picking up Scoop was very hard. They flowed quite a bit then. I wanted to bring him home from the hospital when he was better. Not the way I did today. We made our last ride together in the car. I took his blanket and his pug bag along like I used to when we would go in the car.
I sleep holding that blanket and his little coat that he wore when it was cold out. My daughter brought home some flowers for Scoop. A bouquet of field flowers with sun flowers. She wants Scoop to have sunflowers.
I got a certificate saying it was an individual cremation. There is also a beautiful poem. The box is a beautiful wooden carved box with a plate on the front with "Scoop" on it.

[scoora]

I got another card in the mail today. I was a little confused at first. The return address was from Morris Animal Foundation. The card says Dear Kostick Family, The Doctors and Staff of Allentown Animal Clinic made a contribution to Morris Animal Foundation
In Memory of Scoop
This generous gift supports science that will make the world a brighter place for animals & those who care about them.
We hope you find comfort in knowing that your loved one's memory will live on through future generations of animals & the people who love them.
Please accept our heartfelt condolences for your loss.

The Allentown Animal Clinic was Scoop's GP Vet. That was so very thoughtful of them.

www.MorrisAnimalFoundation.org in case anyone would like to check them out.

[doxiesrock912]

That is wonderful! The vet is paying it forward in Scoop's name.

[LabDad]

Hi Vicki, we have Lulu in a nice wooden box too. Look at her every day. You know we are all a bit happier, including our two cats, Nellie, by my side now, before I retire, I was really worried about. I now that our Stanley, pit-bull mix is no yellow lab Lulu, but I even see the difference in her. She is our skinny cat sister, but I think she even got skinnier after Lulu was gone. I will still say Lulu's name to her and pet her, to let her know that Stanley doesn't replace Lulu, but rather is a gift, that I believe perhaps Lulu helped arrange for us. Lulu wants her cat sister to carry on and be happy, like she used to be cuddled up with Lulu.

It hasn't got to that point yet, but Nellie doesn't run off as much, and Stanley is so good with cats in the house, that he doesn't usually give it a thought they are here, though he does like to start a chase occasionally.

[Roxee's Dad]

Dear Vikki,

I am glad Scoop is now home where he knew so much love.

(((HUGS)))

[goldengirl88]

Vicki:
I just cry uncontrollably when I read your posts. My heart hurts so badly for you. I wish I could take this hurt all away for you. I as so sorry for the way Scoop's journey ended. He is gone way too soon. I find myself waking in the middle of the night more and more, talking to God and asking him for a miracle for my girl. I knew from the beginning when you first started posting that you adored your sweet boy. I wish I could go back in time and change this all for you. I hate to think of you suffering like this. I thought about having my Tipper preserved as I don't think I can stand never seeing her again. I am not certain that I could handle seeing her that way though. I am torn, but want to try and think ahead as I know what a basket case I will be. It's funny the things you think of and do when you are desperate. God Help you thru this Vicki, and God Bless Scoop.
Patti

[milosmom]

nice to see you got your baby back home with you and received a wonderful send off from the vets office,such a kind gesture... sending you wishes for a peaceful heart and abundant blessings...take care vicki we are all here for you hun...patty(milo)meka xoxox

[scoora]

I got another card today. It is from the doctors Scoop saw back in November. He went to a hospital about an hour and a quarter away from where we live. That is where he had his first MRI. It looked at his ear and his tumor. He saw the neurologist there and an IMS. So that is where he had his ear surgery done.
The doctors he saw there signed a card. I thought that was very nice of them since it has been a while since he had been there.
We got 9 cards and the book signed by the hospital where he passed away at.

[Simba's Mom]

Sending hugs and prayers, what wonderful vets you had for your Angel....

[Budsters Mom]

Hi Vicki,
I'm just dropping in to give you a big hug. I wish it could be more:o It was very thoughtful the docs to send you those cards.xxxxx

[scoora]

This morning my husband and I shared a very special moment about Scoop. It was so very touching to me. Don't want to give the details but it was special to me.

[scoora]

Letti, Kathy,

Hugs back to you.

[doxiesrock912]

Awww. That's sweet. It's wonderful to know that they feel right along with us even thought men don't often show when they're upset.

Chris went to Daisy's first IMS appointment with us. I was so nervous and he offered to go which helped so much!

[Trish]

Hi Vicki, I love how all your vets have been sending cards that is very sweet and caring of them. How is Raleigh coping without his mate? Sending big hugs to you all xx

[scoora]

Valerie, you're so right.

Trish, Raleigh seems to be doing OK. I was touched by the cards, book, donation in memory of Scoop. He was a very special guy. Loved by many. His time was too short here with us.

Tonight it will be 2 weeks since he left us. Missing him so very much.
Love my Scoop forever.

[LabDad]

Vicki,

What helped Moo and myself, was that we lit a candle on the weekly and monthly dates, for a while for Lulu, and said a little prayer. It will be six months August 8 and I hope we can do it again for her. I know I will think about her at Christmas time, we had the tree moved closer to the kitchen, and I remember stepping around her as she sat near the tree to get into the family room with the tree.

Again, I plan a video slide show on her, when I get working full-time. And I have been getting the calls on job possibilities it seems at least 5 or 6 times a day. So I am also saying a prayer every day for that job.

Our pit-bull mix Stanley has been a blessing. He looks a bit like your Raleigh, and I should post a couple more pictures of him here. I do have one up in my picture log.

[molly muffin]

Hi Vicki,
Just sending you hugs. :)

hugs,
sharlene

[scoora]

I see what you mean about Stanley and Raleigh.
Good luck hearing about a job.
I try to light a candle everyday on here.


Thanks Sharlene.

[Tina]

Big hugs Vicki, I know how hard this is. That is so nice that your vet sent a card and made a donation to the Morris Animal Foundation in Scoop's memory. They do a lot of good work. My vet did the same thing when I lost my Dakota, and it really meant a lot to me. You continue in my prayers Vicki.

Tina

[goldengirl88]

Vicki:
Continually thinking and praying for you, and for God to give you strength. I know your life will never be the same without your baby Scoop. I truly hope in time you know that none of this was your fault, and you were a relentless advocate for Scoop, and stopped at nothing to help him. God Bless You Vicki
Patti

[scoora]

Tina, Thank you for the prayers. I looked at the Morris Animal Foundation website. They do a lot of good work for all kinds of animals. Which is very nice. I was hoping maybe to see something about Cushings but they still do lots of good work.

Patti, Thank you, too, for your continued prayers. I am still so heartbroken. It hasn't gotten any easier. I still have so much going through my head about what happened. I miss him so much. Right now besides being heartbroken, I am so angry.

[scoora]

If cortisol levels aren't controlled can it cause the immune system to be compromised?

[goldengirl88]

Vicki:
Yes absolutely it will positively cause the immune system to be compromised. I am doing ok, but am still highly concerned about you. I pray for and precious Scoop every day. I hope the days are getting better, but sadly think I already know the answer to that question. I know where you are coming from, and it is a place of deep, deep love for your baby. God Bless you and give you strength to take it one day at a time. I wish I could take away your pain, and bring a healthy Scoop back to you. Blessings
Patti

[Squirt's Mom]

Hi Vicki,

You are doing so good, honey! I know our precious Scoop is just so proud of his mom as are we all.

Hang in there and keep plugging, Mom!
Hugs,
Leslie and the gang

[scoora]

I am in this place right now that I am thinking the vets screwed up and I should have known better. UGH!! I am so angry, frustrated and hurt right now along with my broken heart and it does not put me in a very good place. I'll talk about it more later.

[Budsters Mom]

((((((((((((((((Hugs))))))))))))))))) I wish I could say something to help.:o

[spdd]

((((((((((((((((Hugs))))))))))))))))) I wish I could say something to help.:o

Exactly above

[LabDad]

Hi Vicki,

I know that our Stanley has certainly perked us up, as we only had Lulu. And you know she certainly doesn't replace her. We may one get another female yellow lab, and Moo wants to call her Stella, and she will probably remind me of Lulu more.

But I can tell you Stanley has been the best thing for my wife and for our two cats, Molly & Nellie. Nellie especially would curl her blonde body next to Lulu's blonde body. I don't see that happening yet with her blonde body and Stanley's black body, but they do sniff each other. Nellie doesn't hide as much. BUT, the main thing I feel like Nellie is not as lost as she was. She would mourn, and go to the place Lulu passed away, and I didn't know what to do for her. Her color and her spirit is much better, than it has been, Molly's too.

I know Raleigh must be having a hard-time with this, so I don't know if you will think of getting another dog for him. Just something to think about.

[doxiesrock912]

Vicki,
often what alerts people to Cushings is the fact that their dog has something going on that requires a vet visit; such as a skin infection, UTI or something else that is because the cortisol has been high and their immune system was compromised. Add this to the fact that many of the Cushings symptoms are attributed to the aging process and it's easy to miss until multiple issues coexist.

This is exactly how we discovered Daisy's Cushings.
Our vet visit was due to her fur looking dull and lifeless, skin flaking, balding areas, and she smelled like "dirty dog" very shortly after a bath which I knew wasn't normal.

The only Cushings symptoms that she was were excessive thirst and ravenous appetite, but the pot belly wasn't there and neither was the panting or intolerance to heat. The first vet treated the skin infection with an antibiotic that wasn't quite strong enough to cure it completely and I went to another vet recommended by a friend who looked at her coat and asked me a few questions, treated and cured the infection, and then determined that an LDDS test was in order. I immediately found this forum and thankfully learned enough to prompt us to seek an IMS specialist because I was afraid that the second vet was recommending a once daily dose of Vetyrol that was quite high to begin with.

Now here we are. With all of you and I truly believe that Daisy would've been subject to incorrect treatment if it hadn't been for what I learned on this forum.

As you know, every dog is different, responds differently to treatment, and they can't tell us what is wrong. I'm sure that all of this plays a huge part in the lack of education for many vets. It's up to us to learn and educate them further unfortunately.

HUGS

[StarDeb55]

Vicki, unfortunately Valerie has posted some information in her previous post what alerts owner's to Cushing's that is not quite accurate.


often what alerts people to Cushings is the fact that their dog has something going on that requires a vet visit; such as a skin infection, UTI or something else that is because the cortisol has been low and their immune system was compromised.


The cortisol is actually too high over the long term which leads to immune system suppression. This suppression will definitely cause various types of infections which are frequently difficult to get control of & heal.

Debbie

[scoora]

I knew the answer to my question when I asked it but I wanted to make sure I was right. Last fall before Scoop's cortisol level was brought down with the Vetoryl, he had many infections, his ear, his calcinosis cutis, infection in his eye with the ulcer. After his eye infection he didn't get any more until this staff infection in his blood. His cortisol level on his last ACTH that was the end of March was post, just above 2. Scoop's vet took him off the Vetoryl many, many weeks ago to see if it would help his picky eating, which it didn't. She didn't put him back on it. So because he wasn't on the Vetoryl for quite a while did it cause his cortisol to rise? Did that compromise his immune system? If he would have been on the Vetoryl would Scoop still be here with me?

Another thing I was going to talk about on here but haven't yet is the morning of July 1, Scoop passed away that night, the IMS did an abdominal ultrasound. After she was done with it I went to visit Scoop. The IMS came in the room and talked to me about it. Scoop had started with the eye movement that goes with Vestibular disease. I don't know when it started. I didn't notice it on Sunday and it wasn't mentioned to me by the ER doctor. I don't remember the IMS mentioning this that day but the next week when we had a talk she said the morning she did the ultrasound she saw for just a fleeting moment Scoop's head moving quickly up and down. She said something about his tongue, too. She said it could have been something neurological, like little emboli in his brain. Scoop had been on low dose aspirin to help prevent blood clots. Again his vet took him off it to see if it would help with his diarrhea, it didn't. She never put him back on it. If he did have blood clots could it have been prevented if he had been on the aspirin? I am so frustrated and upset thinking that if he had been put back on these meds would he still be here with me?

I knew that the meds would help with these things but it didn't sink in that these things could happen since he wasn't on them. I'm hate myself that I wasn't on top of it. It really upsets me that his vet didn't put him back on them knowing this stuff. Oh it hurts so, so bad. If the IMS is right and he passed away from multiple organ failure, how long was this working on him? Was he in pain or uncomfortable and I didn't know it?
I JUST WANT TO SCREAM!!
Please wake me up from this nightmare. I can't take any more. I feel so guilty that I didn't, couldn't help him. Thinking that maybe he could still be here if I would have just realized about the meds. When I think of the last time I visited him, about 5 hours before he passed away, I see his little face looking at me, even though he was blind, it looked like he was looking at me and asking me to help him. I didn't think of it like that then but now I do.
I miss my Scoop so much!!

[molly muffin]

Vicki, I am so sorry.
I wish I had the magic words to make it all go away and everything be better.
I know that you tried everything, that you never gave up and I can't think of anything that you didn't try to help Scoop.
Guilt, anger, it is all a part of grief and missing Scoop so much. I know that you know that too. Logic though has no place when the heart hurts. Take time to heal your heart.

hugs,
Sharlene and Molly Muffin

[doxiesrock912]

Thanks Debbie,
I typed the opposite of what I was thinking!

Between the heat and sitting at Smilow waiting for dad, worrying - my brain is mush.


Vicki,

sweetie I am crying as I type this because I most definitely can relate to the feelings that you are having now!
Reading your post has brought back tears that I thought were long spent in regard to the confusion that I felt when two beloved pets passed away despite having received vigilant veterinary care. Cindi, my beloved cockatiel had a vet visit the previous day in fact. The second, Amber, had violent seizures suddenly, we called the vet but before we had a chance to leave the house - it all happened so fast without warning and then she was gone.

Dear God how I know your pain and I hurt that you are going through this :(

Like you, I also question the reasoning behind taking Scoop off of Vetyrol for so long instead of abstaining for a week or two and then resuming at a lower dose, but again - each dog's situation and response is unique. I've learned through reading other members' threads that there is no "one size fits all" treatment plan. Especially with Cushings, and clearing infections is paramount to getting accurate test results. If you don't have accurate tests results, how can you know how much Vetyrol to prescribe?

I have the utmost faith in Daisy's IMS but even with that - to date, the "underlying systemic infection" that she suspected might be eColi was never officially named despite her level of knowledge.

I promise that I'm not siding with the vet, but I can see how complicated everything combined can be and I would also want clarification. Any good vet is more than willing to address your concerns.

I understand your need for answers and I hope that you get them.
Grieving does lead to healing and we each must do it in our own way and time, but please don't blame yourself because many things are inexplicable.

What I do know is that you did your best with the resources available and that look that Scoop gave you was undoubtedly one of pure, unconditional love that only our beloved pets can give. You will have that love and wonderful memories in your heart forever.

Despite the pain of loss that I have felt too many times and still do sometimes, it is that love, companionship, and wonderful individuality that keeps me wanting to always have animals as a part of my family :)

Time does heal all wounds and you'll find that the bad days will be farther apart.

Big, BIG hugs!

[Squirt's Mom]

In mid Nov Scoop had the MRI done that showed his ear infection that lead to the surgery and it showed his pituitary tumor. It wasn't on the radiologist report but I asked the neurologist if he could give me the measurements of it. He told me to the best of his ability with the equipment they had he said it was approx. 8mmx3mm. To me that's pretty large for a dog with a head like Scoop's.

The radiologist report said: There are no masses or other structural abnormalities seen in the brain, but the pituitary gland is enlarged and protrudes dorsally from the sella turcica into the hypothalamic region. Mild ventricular enlargement and enlarged sulci are most likely due to age-related brain atrophy.

Then down further on the report he says: The appearance of the pituitary gland is most compatible with a pituitary macroadenoma. The mass is not causing any significant mass effect or compression of adjacent tissues at this time, but if it continues to grow then it may affect the optic nerve, hypothalamus, or thalamus. So this is why I contantly worry about the tumor.
Thanks again Marianne

Hi sweetie,

The biggest nightmare and deepest fear with Cushing's for me is the possibility of a pup with PDH developing a macro. I have spent countless hours staring at Squirt's head wondering, praying, pleading, bartering...."please, please don't let that thing start to grow." Most PDH pups remain in the micro category, never experiencing the neurological effects...but sadly our Scoop was one of the few who did develop the macro. :(

In Nov. of 2012, the tumor was 8mmx3mm. It had 8 months to grow and start to effect Scoop's body functions. There was very little, if anything, you could have done to prevent that from happening that wouldn't have reduced the quality of his life, just in a different manner than the tumor was. Hypophysectomys and radiation can help in many ways but they are not perfected to the point yet where the pup can realistically be expected to return to the normal life like they had before. We sort of trade one set of issues for others. Sometimes that trade is well worth it, sometimes it isn't.

Cushing's effects a loop in the body between the hypothalamus, thalamus, pituitary, and adrenal glands. This loop dictates a great many of the bodily functions - including the endocrine system; Cushing's and diabetes are both categorized as diseases of the endocrine system. I think if you will research these four glands, in particular the hypothalamus, thalamus and pituitary glands, you will see that the macro had probably grown enough to really cause our sweet boy major problems - up to and including the organ failure. When you combine the macro with the existing diabetes, our poor boy simply had more than he could overcome.

Here is a short, simple sample of what these three glands do in the canine, and human, body -


The hypothalamus controls many activities needed to stay alive. It controls the production of hormones and creates the urge to drink, sleep and eat. The hypothalamus also regulates body fluid and salt balance and indirectly maintains breathing and heart and urinary function.

…signs of depression, pacing or circling

...is responsible for orchestrating several behaviors that are considered "maintenance" behaviors (such as eating, drinking, body temperature). In addition, the hypothalamus helps govern the endocrine system (glands that produce hormones)

Most crucially it is the connection between the nervous system and the endocrine system by means of the pituitary gland.

The pituitary gland is termed the "Master Gland" because it directs other organs and endocrine glands, such as the adrenal glands, to suppress or induce hormone production. The pituitary gland is involved in several functions of the body including:
• Growth Hormone Production
• Production of Hormones That Act on Other Endocrine Glands
• Production of Hormones That Act on the Muscles and the Kidneys
• Endocrine Function Regulation
• Storage of Hormones Produced by the Hypothalamus

The structural location of the gland is very important and the way in which the glandular and nervous segments interrelate is key to the nervous and endocrine systems.

The thalamus is a structure deep within the brain stem that receives sensory information from the nervous system and passes the information to the cerebral cortex and other parts of the brain. It acts as a director of information related to bodily functions such as seeing, sleeping, hearing, waking, tasting, and touching.

The thalamus is responsible for relaying sensory information such as hearing, sight, touch and pain. The thalamus also enables a dog to selectively concentrate and focus on one thing at a time.

The sensory and emotional information relayed to the thalamus is then sent to the parietal and occipital lobes of the dog’s brain for decoding. Once this information has been digested and processed according to previous experiences or memories, the data is then sent to the frontal lobe and translated into plans and actions. The thalamus also contributes to the monitoring and regulation of motor activity initiated in the cerebral cortex. This information is then sent from the cerebral cortex to the cerebellum to aid the co-coordinating center of the brain which is responsible for muscle activity.

Besides relaying sensory and emotional input, the thalamus plays an important role in the expression of attentional behavior. In contrast to the general arousal functions served by the reticular formation, the thalamus mediates a more selective, "informed" attentional response toward sensory inputs. The thalamus enables a dog to selectively concentrate and focus on one thing at a time.
Primarily, the thalamus is involved in the limbic system, as it regulates motor function, senses and perception. The thalamus is also in control of regulating sleep patterns and enabling states of alertness. Along with the brainstem, the thalamus is also involved in the ability to balance. When the thalamus receives sensory information from the environment, it converts the information to usable signals, which are sent to the cerebral cortex for processing and interpretation. In addition, the cerebral cortex can also send received and interpreted information back to the thalamus to distribute amongst other areas of the brain.

At this point in time with the little knowledge I have, if Squirt were to develop a macro, I would stop her Lyso for good. It would take some might hard work to convince me that the positive effect of the cortisol on the tumor would be worse than the negative effect of the cortisol on the rest of the body. Not that the cortisol would "cure" the tumor; it can't but it does have the potential to act as an anti-inflammatory, reducing the swelling. In my mind, that would be more crucial than controlling excess bodily functions like peeing, drinking, and eating. The longer that tumor could remain smaller and not be pressing so hard on the brain and those glands, the better in my mind - and the Lyso would only prevent that from happening by keeping the cortisol lower. So to me, stopping Scoop's Trilo and not restarting it is exactly what I would have wanted done for my for Squirt. ;)

Sweetheart, I meant it when I said you were doing good. You are tackling this head on, letting your grief take you where it will to find answers that may ease your Soul. You could just curl up and stop everything - but you aren't and I am glad for that. You just keep fighting for answers, for understanding, and along the way you will find peace and acceptance. But, and hear me clearly here, you did nothing to cause this - nothing, nada, zip. You could have spent every dime you ever thought about seeing, worn yourself to nothing, lost all you have - and that tumor, its effects, and / or the treatment for it would still have taken him. Unfortunately, you and Scoop were handed insurmountable obstacles but through it all you loved him with all your being and did all you could to help him have the best days possible. You can second guess yourself from now on, but that is the bottom line - you gave your all to Scoop out of love and that is the absolute best any of us can do.

Keep talking to us, honey. You are not alone now or ever.
Hugs,
Leslie and the gang

[goldengirl88]

Vicki:
I know how broken your heart is, but you couldn't have known all this. You trusted in the Dr.'s that they knew what they were doing. Tipper has vestibular problems at times. She has had about 5 episodes in the last year. Also just had an infection in her ear. She just had one vestibular episode a few weeks ago. The things that happen to these babies are a lot for the normal person to be expected to have expertise in all of it. We get as much knowledge as we can, but again we are not infallible. I blame myself for not making Tipper's vet test her for Cushings when she started with these symptoms at least 2 years ago. I knew something was wrong and kept telling him. He turned a deaf ear to it. There is only so much we can do and make others do on behalf of babies. I am struggling right now with this tracheal issue with Tipper. I know what the end result will be if I don't get this take n care of, but no one seems to listen. I beat myself up on a daily basis. I am praying the shots on Monday will help start to help her. We all get smarter about things as we progress into this disease, and yes sometimes it comes too late. We are all still trying though, as you are still trying to understand what happened to Scoop. I think this disease really causes havoc inside these babies, and there is no way to know everything that is going on inside them. I worry why my Tipper is as round as a barrel, and does she have a tumor growing? The constant worry every day does take it's toll on you. I am like you I can't leave things alone. I keep analyzing things over and over. I think all this blame, let down, analyzing, and second guessing ourselves is something we are predisposed to from the deep connection and love we share with these babies. When they aren't here anymore we are to blame, when something goes wrong we are to blame, we blame ourselves for basically everything. I know the place you are coming from, and I truly feel for you. In time you will fault yourself less and less. It is only natural that this is so raw right now. I wish I could come there and help you thru this Vicki. I am here for you any time, I know what Scoop meant to you. Blessings
patti

[scoora]

Sharlene, Valerie, Leslie and Patti,
Thank you for all your kind words. I appreciate each one of you trying to help me understand things. There are things I want to say, just not right now. I am so exhausted. Sometimes my mind feels like mush.

[addy]

Sometimes it is good to allow your brain to be mush. Vicki, I think Leslie said it all perfectly. This has all been such a shock for you and you will work through all the emotions of grief. We are all here for you.

Sending much love and hugs.

[Budsters Mom]

Yes Vicki,
My brain has been mush a lot lately. It is a great thing that I'm on break! I try not to worry about. Mushy brains are a stage if the grieving process, or should be.:D be gentle with yourself. Big hugs,

[doxiesrock912]

Vicki,

mush brain is your bodies way of forcing you to take a break.

[goldengirl88]

Vicki:
You just do what you need to do, and if your brain is mush I think that is a defense mechanism to help you thru all this grief. I so wish I could do something to take all this hurt away from you. Blessings
Patti

[scoora]

Tonight it will be 3 weeks since my Scoop is no longer with us. I miss him so much. My heart still aches as much now as it did the night we lost him.

Leslie-I want to respond, ask you about your post but I am just having trouble right now doing that. I can't think straight.

I often thought to my self that the hardest thing in the world to do would have to make the decision to set a day when he would have to leave us. I just didn't know if I could make that decision. If I knew he was suffering then that would have been different. I didn't want Scoop to suffer. I probably would have had to rely on someone else to decide. I thought if Scoop would go when he was ready MAYBE it wouldn't be as hard thinking he knew it was time. Well, it sucks! Big time. It's worse than I ever thought it would be. Scoop decided to do it on his own but it hurts that he was in the hospital, not at home and his family who loves him so much was not there with him to hold him, give him ear rubs, kiss him, hug him and tell him how much we love him and it hurts like all H--L!
I just hope he didn't suffer and he knew how much we all love him. I know the nurses there loved and cared for him but it's not the same as his family.

The one nurse told me she gave him an ear rub shortly before he went into cardiac arrest. I guess I'm jealous and sad it wasn't me doing that for him. As far as I know, that was the last thing he knew before he passed and it wasn't me there. I wasn't there for him and it HURTS!

[goldengirl88]

Vicki:
I cannot get thru any of your postings without breaking down. I am so sorry at the way things turned out and wish I could turn the clock back so you could be with your baby at his time of passing. God Bless you and Scoop in heaven. I know how you feel and understand that it still hurts very much. I hope you can get some peace some way, some how.Blessings
Patti

[doxiesrock912]

Vicki,

I had vets tell me that when a dog is in bad shape, their bodies have a way of not feeling pain and some aren't aware of what is happening to them. It's a natural occurrence that keeps them pain and stress free.

Also, I'm sure that the vet gave Scoop the necessary medications to ensure that he wasn't in pain.

[scoora]

Patti, I'm sorry. I know you have a lot to deal with Tipper. I know my posts have been depressing. I don't mean to upset you. I just can't get myself past any of this at all right now. I just feel like I need to say things. I am so stressed out and I can't relax. My insides feel like they are tied in knots. I feel horrible.

Valerie, I don't think Scoop was on any pain meds, at least not that I was aware of. The ER doctor that horrible night told me several times, Scoop was a sick little boy. The next week when I talked with Scoop's IMS I said to her that I didn't think Scoop was that sick. She told me that she didn't think he was either. This whole thing has been a nightmare. Just makes me wonder if things could have turned out differently. I miss my Scoop so very much.

[Simba's Mom]

Oh Vicki, I so understand how you are feeling, this sucks big time.....maybe Scoop knew that you couldn't be there at the end, maybe he knew it would be too hard for you...sometimes I wish I didn't see Simba lying still on a table, thats a hard thing to get out of my mind...after he got his shot he wasn't there anymore just sleeping in a coma vet said, I replay it everyday, I hated making that decision, but I had to for Sim....he was suffering, and I couldn't bear to see that anymore....so Sim is gone and free and able to walk and eat and poo like nobodys business, but the main thing is that he is happy...and some day I will see him again....take care hon, here for you!!!!

[scoora]

Oh, thanks Letti, I guess no matter how it happens, it is hard. I just wish the last thing he knew was his family was with him. I am so glad I got to spend about 1 1/2 hours with him earlier that evening and some time with him in the late morning. My last memory of Scoop is seeing him on the table covered with a white blanket. After I got the phone call I made it to the hospital in 10 minutes but he was already gone. Maybe if he had given them some sign he was having a problem maybe they could have helped him sooner but till they saw he wasn't breathing it was too late. CPR didn't help him. Just so many what ifs. It sucks.

[Simba's Mom]

oh yes, those what if's, and even now with a new pup, I'm still in the cushings mindset, it's going to take awhile!

[Budsters Mom]

Vicki,
I am on the same page with you and Letti. I have my own set of what-ifs that I am tackling also. I think it's part of the grieving process. If it isn't, it sure as heck should be.:o Thank you for your nice comment about Rosebud. It does help having her around, but I still miss Buddy terribly, just like you miss Scoop. I am very thankful that we all have each other to talk to. Great big hugs for you my dear.

[doxiesrock912]

I know how you feel Letti,

I was there holding my mother's hand when she died. I told her that it was ok to go and that we would take care of dad. Almost immediately after that she began to feel cold and they told us that she was gone.

Part of me can't stand that that is the last sight in my mind of my mother, and the other is grateful that I was there for her.

Unfortunately, I have had the same experience with beloved pets and still have those final moments ingrained in my memory.

Either way, it hurts.

[goldengirl88]

Vicki:
I did not tell you about reading your post to make you feel bad, so please don't. I just wanted to let you know I am hurting for you and Scoop. You say and do whatever your heart needs to. That is why the rest of us are here, to pick up the pieces for our dear friends. You need to get it out, whatever you want to say you know I support you. I too am frightened about what this disease has done inside my Tipper. In a way I want to get an Ultra Sound, in another way I don't because if there is something now that I cannot do anything about, it will kill me. I am thinking and praying on it. I am going tore- contact Dr. Bruette and see if he can tell me how to get some research started on this disease. This cannot go on taking babies and ruining lives. People are behind cancer research for people, and they love their pets so I am sure they would support this. I see myself in you Vicki, and second guessing, and all the what ifs. God Bless You and Scoop.
Patti

[goldengirl88]

Vicki:
Here are a few things to look at for jewelry that holds pet fur. Some are really nice and will last a long time.
Cremationjewelry.com
SphangleJewellery.com you can have the hair in resin so you can see it with this one.
keepsakejewellery.com
I know there is another less expensive I will find it and let you know.
Patti

[Mel-Tia]

Hi Vicki

Just sending you a big hug, hope to hear from you soon

Lots of love

Mel
Xxxxxxx

[goldengirl88]

Vicki:
I know things have not gotten any easier. I know you replay this back in your head a million times over. Just know I am thinking of you constantly and Tipper and I pray for you and sweet Scoop in heaven. Blessings
Patti

[scoora]

Patti, Thank you for the jewelry information.
You're right. Things have not gotten any easier. Thank you for always thinking of my Scoop and me and saying a prayer.
I hope you and Tipper are doing OK.

Mel, I want to talk with you. Sometimes I don 't have it in me. Right now I am so drained and I feel like I can't think straight. I sure do need a big, tight hug.

[Mel-Tia]

Vicki

That is ok, you speak when you want I am not going anywhere. I know how hard it can be to even formulate thoughts let alone words

Hour at a time if a day is too much

Love
Mel
Xxxx

[LabDad]

Hi Vicki,

I know it's been hard, it is for us still with our Lulu, I think of her all the time. I really worried about Nellie, (we have two sister cats, the other is Molly). Lulu was Nellie's dog. She for the longest time would mourn, and still does a bit, for Lulu.

I am so glad we got Stanley. You know he is no Lulu, but boy does he show his love for us, and our Nellie will let Stanley nose her, without doing much, and the occasional hisses are getting less and less.

Have a good weekend, and give your Raleigh a kiss for me and my wife, Moo too.

[Budsters Mom]

Vicki, thinking of you and wanted to send hugs. I wish I could do more to ease your pain. Xxxxx

[scoora]

Thank you everyone for caring so much. It has been and still is very hard for me. Every little thing reminds me that Scoop is no longer here and then I cry.
I know you all are dealing with your own heartache and I appreciate all of you being here.
Hugs to all.

[scoora]

I have some of Scoop's fur. Does anyone know if it is best kept in something that is airtight or not?
I've thought about some kind of jewelry but I'm not sure yet. I have some fur that is in a plastic pill bottle with a tight fitting lid and some in a zip baggie. The hospital did that for me.

[LabDad]

Vicki, I saved some fir off of Spike, a long-haired Alaskan looking dog, back in 1990. I put it in a vial, that I got when I worked in hospital laboratories. It still remains in good condition. Speaking of that, I have Lulu's baby teeth. She came to us at about 3 to 4 months in age, Nov. 2000. She started to lose her baby teeth pretty quickly during Dec. 2000, so I put them in another vial. Still have them, looked at them a couple of months ago when she passed. What we do to keep memories alive.

Well off to bed, our Stanley will soon be out of bed, to check on me. He thinks he owns me. LOL!

[labblab]

Vicki, I have kept some fur from my Barkis since he passed nine years ago. It is in a little painted bowl, and open to the air. So far, it has stayed just exactly the same.

Sending you tons of hugs,
Marianne

[goldengirl88]

Vicki:
Since a dogs hair is living when they are with us it would probably deteriorate some if left out, but would still be ok I would think. I keep Tipper's sealed up as I want to try and keep her scent on it. Sending you hugs, and thinking of you all the time. Blessings
Patti

[spdd]

I have looked at this site http://www.gatewaypetmemorial.com/ several times and am going to buy a necklace with Keesh's ashes. Is there something like this in your neighbourhood?

[scoora]

Thanks everybody. I have 2 separate little patches of fur. The hospital gave me some in a plastic pill container the night Scoop passed. The next day I knew he was still at the hospital and I asked if I could get some more. They put that in a plastic zip bag. The fur in the container kind of clumped together and then separated into 3 little clumps. The fur in the bag seems to be going all over the bag. Just don't know what is the best.

I thought about a piece of jewelry to put some in. Just not sure how well fur will go in a necklace. I would like a heart with a paw print on it or a paw shaped necklace.

[NoonelovesmelikeNorman]

Vicki, I just wanted to extend my sympathy on Scoop's passing. I don't get on here much and read your recent posts. I am so sorry.

Sending hugs, peace and mercy.

Love, Sharon, Norman and Millie

[apollo6]

Dear Vicky
I cry with you. Your baby is now at peace. My Apollo died Sept 9,2012, and the pain and grief still is there. I received a beautiful heart necklace with paw print which says "always in my heart" the heart separates and has a tiny urn. I put Apollo's fur in it, wear it around my neck and hold it a lot. I also put some of his fur in a velvet little bag have it hanging on my car mirror and reach out for it often, also his collar is on my car rear view window. My dear do what ever you need to keep Scoop close to you. No words I can say will make it better. Know Angel Scoop is being greeted with love by Angel Apollo. He is watching down on you know. Write to him, and let your feelings out. We are here for you. With love and sympathy.
Sonja, Angel Apollo.

[scoora]

Sharon and Sonja,
Thank you for your kind, loving words.
The past, almost 4 weeks, have been really hard. I miss my Scoop so much.

[scoora]

Marianne, That's good to hear that Barkis' fur is still the same after 9 years.
It seems like it will be OK in a vial or open to the air.

Sonja, I saw a necklace on Amazon that sounds like the one you described. I like that one but I wasn't sure if the fur would go in the urn since I thought it was made for ashes I was afraid it would be too small. Since you have some of Apollo's fur in it maybe I'll give it a try.

[scoora]

Bob and Moo,
I thought that was so neat that you have Lulu's baby teeth. I wish I had Scoop's. This might sound strange but I did keep some of Scoop's nail clippings from one of his last clippings that we did.

[Simba's Mom]

Sending hugs and prayers to you Vicki, this is so hard when they pass, and hard when they have the disease, really no winning in this journey.....I think its cool what you save of Scoops no matter what it is...I wish this would get easier, but it doesn't seem to for right now....take care.....

[apollo6]

know any piece of your baby you can hold onto is not strange. We hold on to what ever we can. Love Sonja and Angel Apollo.
I sleep with Apollo's little pillow and have his little shirt on it to comfort me. When you have loved as deeply as we have, do what ever makes you feel better.

[scoora]

Thanks Letti and Sonja

This morning has been really tough. I don't know if it's because tonight will be 4 weeks since Scoop left us and Mondays are very difficult anyway or if I would be feeling this miserable no matter what day it is.

[goldengirl88]

Vicki:
Thanks for thinking of my Tipper. I know you are hurting so just talk when you want to and do what helps you day by day. I pray for you and sweet Scoop. I will walk in your shoes one day, and I know you will be there for me. Blessings
Patti

[scoora]

Patti, Thank you for the prayers. Hopefully you won't be walking in my shoes for a long time to come.

[scoora]

So very sad.

[goldengirl88]

Vicki:
I am sad along with you as I know how deeply you love Scoop, and always will. The thought of 44 passing from this disease this year alone is awful. We need to get rid of this horrible disease it is taking too many wonderful much loved babies. Blessings
Patti

[scoora]

Patti, It is such a horrible disease. I wish there would have never been such a thing in the first place.
It upsets so many lives. I can't believe my Scoop as been gone 4 weeks. I miss him so much. Last night my daughter said too that she still can't believe that Scoop isn't here anymore. I know my husband is still having a hard time too.

[Simba's Mom]

Hey Vicki, sending hugs and prayers, just take one day at a time and what helps me is that Simba would want me to be happy because he is a fighter, so I have to be too, here for you!!!

[scoora]

Letti, Thank you. My Scoop was so brave and a real fighter, too, like Simba. He had to be with everything he went through this past year. Me, well that's a different story. I have such a hard time with everything. I am not strong.

[doxiesrock912]

Vicki,

it takes someone strong and dedicated to see Scoop through this illness and you did what was best for him with what you had available.

That makes you very strong.