Angelina has passed away - 15 1/2 year old/7.2 kg Maltese Cross on Trilostane

[lulusmom]

There are no words except to say I understand and feel your pain as if it were my own at this very moment.

Huge Hugs,
Glynda

[Cindy Thoman]

John, I am sobbing and don't know what to say. You and Angelina were blessed to have had memories and feelings for each other that so many people will never experience.

XOXOXO,
Cindy, Alex, and Bear

[mytil]

Dearest John,

My heart was so sad about Angelina's passing and I cried. I am crying now as I read your post. I am so very sorry they have to leave us in so short a time. The pain when we have to let them go is so immense and immeasurable. You have started the healing process and we are all here to listen.

My continued ((((hugs))))
Terry

[littleone1]

(((HUGS))) John.

My heart is breaking for you. You loved Angelina so very much, and I know she loved you so very much, also. I'm sitting here crying like a baby. You and Angelina have really touched our hearts.

Take care my friend. Angelina is herself again. She loves you for releasing her, as she was unable to enjoy a good quality of life.

[Roxee's Dad]

Dearest Brother John,

I am so very sorry, There are no words. You did the most selfless thing a person could ever do. You took her pain away and made it yours. I know this doesn't make it any easier. The pain you are feeling is a result of the love and bond you have with Sweet Angelina. She will be in your heart and memories forever.

We have helped each other through difficult times, we have shared our daily experiences, we have smiled and laughed together, and now we share in your grief and sadness.

I too will miss you Angelina. Rest in peace baby girl.

[Squirt's Mom]

Dear Brother T,

I read your words and sobbed with your pain. But most of all, I see love in that blue box - a love indefinable, unexplainable, but oh so real. A love that shone it brightest that final day. A love that knew Angelina's suffering had to end, a love that reached out and eased her way to The Bridge, a love she saw and acknowledged with that last kiss. Because she loved you so, she fought to stay; because you loved her so, you set her free. What greater love can there be than this?

Grieve, brother, but just know we are here by your side, our tears mingling with yours.

Hugs,
Leslie, Squirt, Trinket, Brick and all our Angels

[Bichonluver3]

My dearest John,
There will never be an end to Angelina's story. She lives on in the hearts of all of us who grew to love her.
I don't think anyone can imagine the immense chasm that is left when one of our babies passes on. It is important to us that everyone realize how incredibly special our furbaby was to us. Well, we know, my dearest friend, because Angelina was all that to everyone of us and always will be.
Your love for her and her's for you is everlasting. The secret little place in your soul where she resides is her's alone. You will have her back one day, all healthy and whole when you are reunited at the Rainbow Bridge.
My heart is breaking and the tears are flowing along with yours. If I could make it better for you, I would. The best that I can do is to send you all my love and healing thoughts your way.
To Angelina: Fly free sweet baby, happy & healthy through the fields of heaven. May the sun warm your face and gentle breezes be at your back. Have fun with all your new friends who have gone before. Please watch over your Dad and all of us still fighting battles here. I will look in the desert sky to see our newest twinkling star. Til we all meet together at the Rainbow Bridge, God Bless and godspeed, precious princess, we miss you and love you.
Carrol & Chloe

[Harley PoMMom]

Sending huge and loving hugs, my dear friend.

Love and more hugs,
Lori

[Casey's Mom]

My heart is breaking for you dearest John. I cannot speak as eloquently as the others - too many tears for you and for Angelina. Your love was so immense and she knew the love you had for her John.

Love and huge hugs to you,

[fivebichons]

Dear John,

It took some time for me to come back here again. I'm sorry for that. I cry before I even log in. I read through your thread. I cried even more. Not only for what you went through with your precious Angelina. But, it brings back memories. I have lost 4 precious angels now. And I can only tell you that you did the right thing. Even though it was most painful, you showed that you loved her more than anything by letting her go. I viewed that precious video you shared with us. What a beautiful keepsake!! Smile when you watch that. She would want it that way. She is so adorable. Keep her close to your heart. She will always be a part of your soul.

I planted a flower box for you and Angelina today. I will post it on FB later today. Let her star shine on you forever. xxo

Lots of hugs and prayers from our house to yours,
Heidi, Robin, Marco, Sophie, Sasha & Maggie,
...and Friskie, Lucky, Cheri and Snicky from Heaven....

[Franklin'sMum]

Dearest John,

The pain you're feeling, we all feel it too. The tears you shed are mixed with ours. Please know that you and Angelina are in our thoughts and prayers.
I pray you find comfort in knowing that you did the kindest, most selfless thing that could be done for sweet Angelina. She loved you all her days with all her heart, and knew that love was returned to her each and every moment.

The love between you and Angelina will never be lost, and she will always be in your heart, as in ours.

Love and prayers,
Jane, Franklin and Angel Bailey xxx

[John II]

Hello Everyone,

First of all thanks to Kim & Glynda & Cindy & Terry & Terri & Brother John & Leslie & Carrol & Lori & Ellen & Heidi & Jane for your tears & hugs & consoling words.

After my last post I pretty much fell apart. All your kind words and hugs are helping to put the pieces back together again. Please give your furbabies an extra squeeze for me :'-)

I’ve bought a vase and put it against Angelina's headstone. Everyday I add a flower from the garden. The last few days I’ve added flower heads from the park, from the grasses where she used to send and receive her pee-mail. They may live long enough to still drop seeds and perhaps sprout and grow on her grave.

I had an Angelina dream shortly after she died. I didn’t mention it because, except for one aspect, it was so mundane.

In the dream, I carried Angelina outside to poop and she pooped a huge amount. She was like a soft-serve machine and all this milk-coffee coloured stuff came out of her. As she was finishing, she fell over, as she often did towards the end, when her lame foot tripped her up. I rushed over to help her to her feet, fearing she had fallen into the poop, but upon examination, her fur was clean and white. At the time I thought it was not a helpful dream, not a consoling dream - but I guessed it could have been worse. I was left to wonder what that was all about.

Time passed.

I woke up a couple of weeks ago, and not being quite ready to get up yet, I lay in my bed and dozed. More awake than asleep, yet I returned to that dream, to the point where it ended.

After I helped her to her feet, Angelina ambled on and hopped over a ground-level brick border (which doesn’t exist) and continued down the garden path to her grave. She stopped, turned towards it, lowered her nose to the ground, and gave that earth a single sniff, as if acknowledging what was there. And then the dream ended again.

I was thinking about this throughout that day, and it finally occurred to me what all that poop might have been about. I think Angelina was expelling the Cushings, the arthritis, the spinal lesions, the masses, tumours, nodules, and whatever other unknowns were lurking within her. Everything that was wrong with her body at the end.

Everything was being flushed out of her.
And she was now finally free of it all.
There were no last cuddles in this dream.
Maybe next time.

Again, sorry it took so long for me to reply to your many heartfelt posts. But I knew three things:
1) Writing this would make me cry again.
2) My reply would pretty much be the end of Angelina’s thread, and somehow keeping my reply pending was like keeping a part of her alive. Now this thread will gradually fade away, further and further down the list of threads.
3) And third, we were fast approaching the end of the first month without Angelina. And that's where we now are. She’s 29 days gone.

But I find that I'm generally ok - until I think of some little thing she used to do. Or how she understood so many hand signs and words (“suggestions” rather than “commands”), and how that is all suddenly gone.

But anyway, generally, I'm OK.

It's so sad, that so soon after Angelina moved on, her cousins Harley & Bailey have joined her.
Hugs to you all, especially those who have loved and lost.
And special big hugs to Lori & Lynne for whom the sadness is so new. :'-(

I'll leave the final words to Angelina:
http://youtu.be/yEGV6UHWQ8Y

[Bichonluver3]

Dearest John,
We all are still mourning sweet Angelina's passing so we all feel your pain and sadness. The thread may fade away but the memory of Angelina never will - it will remain with all of us always. Please stay with us to help us on our journey as we value your knowledge and advice. Angelina has lessons from her life to teach us and it would be such a tribute to her. Also, please remind us as we come upon times and days that were special to her so we can continue to honor her.
Love & hugs,
Carrol

[Harley PoMMom]

Sending huge and loving hugs, my dear, dear friend.

[Roxee's Dad]

My Dear Brother John,

Sending you huge (((Hugs))) Angelina will live on in our hearts. Her thread may fade, but will always be here. She will forever be in our Loving Memory section, a place I visit often and post on those special days, and when you are up to it, you can post a special tribute in a new thread in that section. I consider it a very special place that I often visit my Roxee.

Love and hugs to you my brother.

[addy]

Dear John,

The thread does not have to end, it can still go on for as long as you need it to go on.

I hope the next time Angelina comes to visit in your dreams you will awake and feel comfort by that visit. She will come when you need her most.

We are all here with you, always here with you, to love and to remember, to cherish Angelina, celebrate her life and acknowledge the deep and abiding love the two of you shared and will always share. We are all here with you, always here with you, to cry lonely tears, feel the pain of your loss, the stab in our hearts.

Are we not all one in our love for our dogs? Your loss becomes our loss, your pain becomes our pain and your joy becomes our joy when one day you find you can possibly love again.

All my love,
Addy, Zoe and Koko

[apollo6]

Dear John
I cry when I read what you are going through. I looked at your pictures of Angelina, I love the one where you are holding her and her in bed. I looked at her beautiful grave. I watched Angelina's video and strangely Apollo started barking when he heard her bark. Your interpretation of your dream is right on.
Once our little fur ball angels come into our lives, we are never the same. They bury them selves into our hearts and souls and never leave. Like Addy said when we lose one we lose one together. Our brave little soldiers fight on for as long as they can to be with us. We in turn love, care and support them the best we can. We endure with them the lose and pain of this awful disease.
Feel your feelings, cry as much as you most. We never have enough time with them. Angelina is free from all the pain and is watching over you.
Hugs Sonja and Apollo

[John II]

Hello everyone, thanks for all the Love and Hugs :)

Carrol thanks for the reassurances :)

Although I've read the threads, I haven't often chipped in with my own thoughts. I kept waiting for Angelina's condition to improve to the extent that I might think I actually knew what I was doing. :o

Lori - huge and loving hugs back at ya (HUGS) may our puppies continue to romp together. :'-)

Just pausing a moment to get a tissue & :-'(

Brother John thanks for your reassurances as well :)
(Roxee just joined the puppy rumble :) )

Addy & Sonja - thanks for your comforting words. I'm so impressed by those, such as yourselves who are able to capture just the right things to say. Usually I can only croak out my sad condolences.

Thanks everyone for taking the time to soothe my heart :-)

At some point I'll have to start an "In Loving Memory" thread. Put down all those little details, traits & quirks ;)