Alivia was recently diagnosed with Cushing's - Alivia has passed

[Boriss McCall]

I was trying to look myself & see what breeds are on here the most. Seems like a lot of Boston Terriers as well as the JR. :(

[MBK]

I did just read somewhere that Jack Russell Terriers do have a higher than average rate of Cushings. I thought it seemed like it!

Has anyone read the recent (3/2012) VERY promising study about treating atypical cushings with a daily low dose of prednisone? The amount is much lower than the typical amount prescribed for inflammatory problems and is basically the same amount that would be produced by healthy adrenal glands. The theory is when the body realizes there is cortisol replacement circulating in the body it stops over stimulating the adrenal glands and when that happens the levels of precursors and sex-hormones decline towards the normal range.
In this study:
92% of elevated sex-hormones were reduced, with 64% returning to within normal limits.
100% of all estradiol levels were reduced.
88% of all cortisol readings were reduced AND 100% of all elevated cortisol levels were reduced!

One of the dogs in the study was a female JRT. ;) I am definitely going to be talking to Alivia's vet about this!!

[molly muffin]

WOW what a promising study. That is Very exciting possibilities. Do let us know what your vet says.

hugs,
Sharlene

[addy]

Mary Beth, that does sound like good possibilities. Where did you find the study?

[MBK]

Even with 2 ultrasounds it was never conclusive that Alivia has an adrenal tumor. Her sex-hormones were elevated, though, so I feel more comfortable at trying the low dose Prednisone regime than I do with either mitotane or trilostane. If this really does work, just think how very unhappy the drug companies will be! Much less money for them and for vets treating cushing's, as well. The study seems to make a lot sense to me.

Here is the link to the study:
http://www.petcarebooks.com/pdf/Atypical-Cushings-treatment.pdf

The test group is small but the results are quite impressive. Thoughts anyone?

[labblab]

Hi Mary Beth,

Even though this publication of Caroline Levin's is relatively new, her concept of giving low-dose prednisone for treatment of atypical Cushing's is one that she has advanced for some time now. It is not a treatment approach that has been substantiated or endorsed by the conventional veterinary community. I believe this article, like many of her previous books and articles, is self-published by Ms. Levin as opposed to appearing in a peer-reviewed, professional journal.

Here's a link to another thread in which a member earlier asked about her treatment theories (in this member's case, it was in relation to SARDS -- the syndrome involving sudden blindness along with hormonal abnormalities).

http://www.k9cushings.com/forum/showthread.php?t=3869

I have not had the time tonight to thoroughly read through this newest publication. However, just upon glancing through it, I see that Ms. Levin references "significant" improvement with low-dose prednisone treatment, but without presenting any statistical computation to support her use of that term. In scientific research, true statistical "significance" must be established before asserting that there is any genuine treatment effect.

As you can tell from my replies in that thread, I would not choose to pursue her treatment recommendations, myself. However, certainly you should discuss them further with your own vet if you think they might have some merit for Alivia.

Marianne

[Squirt's Mom]

Hi Mary Beth,

The thing that came to my mind is this - many feel that Atypical, elevated intermediates, is a precursor to true Cushing's - elevated cortisol. That seems to be the case with my Squirt. If I had started giving her pred, even a low dose, when her cortisol started rising last summer, I wouldn't have known it was from the cortisol and would have blamed the steroid. That means, her body would have had to deal with the excess cortisol her body was producing PLUS the pred - which is used to replace cortisol when it gets too low. So Squirt would have had a massive amount of steroidal side effects with no clear indication of why.

I always have issues with authors of such articles and books that reference themselves as much, or more, than others. Ms. Levine has done this in everything I have read that she has written so I have a difficult time trusting her "conclusions". ;)

If I were offered this opportunity for Squirt based solely on Ms. Levin's article and conclusions, I would probably laugh in their face then get very angry that they would put my baby at such risk playing guinea pig with her. Give this a great deal of thought, do a great deal of research to support her findings, talk to your vet, to other vets......dig DEEP before you put Ali on this "protocol". She has been through sooo much already. ;)

Hugs,
Leslie and the gang

[molly muffin]

well fooey. Now see if this is just one persons conclusion with no studies to back it up, I'll be very irritated. These are our beloved companions, members of our families that they are messing with.
You know the thing to do is ask one of the world renown specialist for their take on it plus your vet.

hugs,
Sharlene

[MBK]

But, Leslie, isn't she saying that the ADDITION of the low dose of prednisone keeps the adrenal glands from over producing on their own and thereby lowers the cortisol? Keep in mind that the dosage she suggests is MUCH lower than the doses commonly given for inflammatory problems.

I know it's a long shot, but I also know and believe that the drug companies and veterinary community in general make a TON of money selling drugs that are overpriced and very restricted in how they can be obtained. Same with the repeated testing. It really is not in THEIR best interest to invest time or money into finding a better treatment that would essentially take a massive amount of money out of their pockets. So, maybe Ms. Levin does not have a lot of back up on this in part because the drug companies certainly would not support something this simple. I just think her findings are too significant to be brushed off so easily. What would her ulterior motive be for going against the conventional wisdom of the big drug companies? It's not like she's trying to sell a snake oil cure for her own personal gain.

[Squirt's Mom]

What would her ulterior motive be for going against the conventional wisdom of the big drug companies? It's not like she's trying to sell a snake oil cure for her own personal gain.

I don't know Ms. Levine but I do know that there are folks who simply like to see their name in print, who like to know folks are talking about them, who like to make themselves appear much more than they actually are - in other words, who are full of self-admiration and promotion. She would gain recognition, status, admirers, and she does make money from the books she sells that offer some of these thoughts as "science". It is entirely possible that she will see your post here supporting her idea, saying you are going to try it on Ali, and use your words to "endorse" her "cure via pred". (PLEASE - I am NOT saying that is something she would do, just that it is a possibility.)

A true scientist would never offer such a treatment with a med that is already known to have serious side effects at any dose long term for a condition that the EXPERTS cannot agree on without extensive testing, trials, peer reviews in medical journals and so on. Just because pred is a recognized and known drug does not mean it can't be used as a snake-oil treatment. If the AVMA picks this up and runs with it, then I will reconsider but not until then. ;)

Just so you know, I am a HUGE proponent of alternative, complementary, nutraceutical, Holistic approaches and agree completely with your assessment of the drug industry's power. I am studying herbs for pets and humans, use them often for myself and my babies and will always look there first before a pharmaceutical, chemical solution. But I never, ever look at one source, talk to one person, and decide what to use. However, there are times and situations where herbs and alternative treatments do not work as well as the pharmaceutical treatments and we must keep an open mind concerning all approaches for each situation that arises. There is no one approach that will work for all in all situations. If we blind ourselves with our preconceptions and prejudices we lose the opportunity to learn and grow...as well as lose the opportunity give our babies the best possible aid.

We cannot tell you what to do with your baby - she is yours and the consequences of your choices are yours...but remember Ali will be the one to bear the physical effects of your choices. All I am saying is be thorough in researching this and don't rely on Ms. Levine's say-so only. Write some of the experts in canine Cushing's like Peterson or Feldman or Bruyette and see what they say; talk to your vets; talk to your human docs; read, read, read.

Hugs,
Leslie and the gang

[labblab]

Hi again, Mary Beth.

I don't pretend to be an expert re: all things Cushing's -- not by a long shot. Over my years here, I've had my eyes opened multiple times. Just when I think I've got something doped out, a new fact or approach may appear. However, when it comes to "Atypical Cushing's," I've always felt that Dr. Jack Oliver at UTK truly has been a premier scientific authority on the subject. He is no longer alive, but as I say, I don't believe Caroline Levin's theory/approach is new, and it is something that he would have had the opportunity to investigate and subsequently endorse if he believed it had merit. Over-the-counter melatonin and lignans have remained a first-line recommendation of UTK, and neither of those drugs are expensive nor fancy. So I don't believe there would be any financial motivation for them to ignore prednisone if there was evidence that it was helpful.

The thing is, prednisone is not a benign drug. So even at a low dose, I would personally want assurance that there was a valid, solidly researched basis for administering it to my dog. As far as I know (and once again, of course I don't know everything :o), I am unaware of any veterinary endocrinologist who endorses this treatment.

As far as financial incentives, here's a link to the "Order" page for Lantern Publications which is listed as the publisher of Ms. Levin's research summary. You will see that Lantern publishes her other materials, as well, and that payment for books and DVDs goes directly to Ms. Levin.

http://www.petcarebooks.com/orders/ordering.htm

Marianne

[MBK]

Leslie,

I do agree with you that you cannot look at any single source. I also think the "experts" have not done a great job when it comes to treating canine Cushing's. The current choices are selecting the lesser of two evils : Mitotane (a derivitive of the pesticide DDT) and Trilostane. Although both of these can have good results, no one here would ever say that either of them were perfect treatments and not without serious risks and considerable expense. When it comes to treament for Alivia, I am definitely between a rock and hard place. I have an e-mail from Dr. Oliver advising me against using Trilostane because it would increase her sex hormone levels and she would still exhibit all the symptoms of Cushing's. Lysodren is not a good option for Ali as she does not and has never had the consistent ravenous appetite that most cush dogs exhibit and it would be impossible to know when she was on an appropriate dose. Because of that, Dr. Oliver's only suggestion was to try a maintenance dosage of Lysodren, but even he admitted there were no studies on that treatment:

Me: You brought up the option of using melatonin, lignans and Lysodren without the loading dose. This sounds like an interesting option, but I can’t find any additional information about that treatment or its success rate. Could you direct me to any studies/journal articles/etc. of results with this treatment?

Dr. Oliver: Unfortunately, I don’t know of any good studies. But I can tell you that many veterinarians use this protocol, and seem to like it. I’ve seen repeat adrenal panels for dogs with this treatment, and they usually show a good response. Certainly maintenance Lysodren has been used for years, after the loading dose is given, so maintenance Lysodren is safe as long as you measure the cortisol levels. The same is true of melatonin, lignan and maintenance Lysodren; it’s important to measure the cortisol levels just like you would with the traditional Lysodren treatment where induction was used. [copied and pasted verbatim]

So, that was an expert on cushing's suggesting a protocol and candidly admitting there were not really any studies to back it up. (Marianne, I had typed this before seeing your reply mentioning Dr. Oliver!). I do have the utmost respect for Dr. Oliver and all he did and I had several email communications with him. He was kind enough to review all of Alivia's test results and personally comment on them. He also was honest enough to say there was no good answer for her.

I had actually purchased Lysodren but just did not feel comfortable giving it to Alivia with no studies to back it up. Maintenance doses of Lysodren (potentially a very dangerous drug) have not been solidly researched in Dr. Oliver's own words.

I just don't feel like there is much of an effort in finding any better, safer ways of treating cushing's and perhaps it is because there is a lot of money being made the way things stand. There are treatments being used by vets with not a lot of scientific evidence to back them up. It just seems like a crap shoot at times.

As far as Ms. Levin making money, a lot of people and companies are making money off of all of us treating our dogs. So, that in itself is not reason enough for me to discount her opinions.

I am keeping an open mind about all of this: holistic, herbal and anything else. Many dogs do get good results from Trilostane and Lysodren, so I certainly do not intend to discourage their usage. It's pretty much all there is right now. I would love to see continued research and better options, though.

[addy]

When it comes to treament for Alivia, I am definitely between a rock and hard place. I have an e-mail from Dr. Oliver advising me against using Trilostane because it would increase her sex hormone levels and she would still exhibit all the symptoms of Cushing's

Sweetie, that is what Dr. Oliver told me about using Trilostane with Zoe. I turned to Dr. Peterson and he felt Zoe would be better off on the Trilostane. Dr. Peterson told me I should not even know about her intermediate hormones at that point. He felt the lysodren and her IBD would be a problem and with Trilostane I could start and stop the dose without worrying about losing a "load".

Point is, MB, we all make decisions and follow our heart with as much information as we can glean from the experts. My IMS gets frustrated because even the endocrinologists cannot agree.:(

I do wonder sometimes if the increase in macros we have seen is because of the increased usage of Trilostane. I think we would all prefer not to use either drug.

I am sorry Alivia's symptoms are coming back. I had Zoe on melatonin and lignans for quite a while before starting Trilostane. She was doing okay, not horrible symptoms except her coat and skin were getting worse and her back legs.

Her cortisol was sky high but her intermediates did come down. Dr. Oliver gave me the maintenance dose option too. You never know if it will work or not. I have read on other forums that dogs responded to that treatment without loading. Perhaps their cortsiol was not so high as Zoe's.

All we can do is try what we think best in our hearts.

love ya

[labblab]

Hey Mary Beth,

I definitely agree that there is no perfect solution to Cushing's treatment and that there is much more research to be done. However, I think that the research arena differs considerably between conventional Cushing's and what UTK has labelled as "Atypical Cushing's." I do agree that the significance and ramification of elevated intermediate hormones other than cortisol is currently an under-researched and controversial area, as is effective treatment.

I don't believe the same can be said for conventional Cushing's. Since I used trilostane with my Cushpup, I am more familiar with related research studies for trilostane than those that may exist for Lysodren. But I can guarantee you that there are a number of serious, scientific, peer-reviewed research studies that have been generated in association with trilostane treatment. And I am aware of NONE of them which advocate giving supplemental prednisone to a dog who already suffers from elevated cortisol.

When Dr. Oliver spoke to you about the lack of good research studies, I would guess he was referring to treatment of elevated intermediate hormones other than cortisol -- and not conventional Cushing's. There has been a LOT of research concerning conventional Cushing's. And once again, in my own mind, if giving low-dose prednisone seemed like a more reasonable option for treatment of "Atypical Cushings" than those recommended by Dr. Oliver and UTK, I would think that somebody, somewhere (other than Caroline Levin) would have picked up on it.

But I'll go ahead and shut up now, because truly, you need to do whatever you think is best for Alivia. But I do think there has been a lot of academic research conducted re: treatment of conventional Cushing's and associated medication, and I just want to point that out to others who may be following our discussion here.

Marianne

[Boriss McCall]

Addy,
I was wondering the same thing about the Trilostane & Macros. I was talking with Kim about that same thing recently. I know she had mentioned that this forum is seeing way more Macros that ever before.

Makes me really wonder if Trilo has anything to do with it & maybe I should be treating with Lysodren. Such hard decisions to make.

I would love to do a poll on this board of to see if the dogs on here with Macros past & present were all treated with Trilo or are both drugs showing these.

[labblab]

Addy,
I was wondering the same thing about the Trilostane & Macros. I was talking with Kim about that same thing recently. I know she had mentioned that this forum is seeing way more Macros that ever before.

Makes me really wonder if Trilo has anything to do with it & maybe I should be treating with Lysodren. Such hard decisions to make.

I would love to do a poll on this board of to see if the dogs on here with Macros past & present were all treated with Trilo or are both drugs showing these.
Theoretically, both trilostane and Lysodren ought to have the same effect re: macros since it is the disruption to the ACTH feedback loop (which both drugs create) that probably hastens tumor growth. There is at least one research study that established this potential for trilostane; it has not yet been documented for Lysodren.

One thing to keep in mind re: what may appear to be an increase in macros: very few are actually definitively diagnosed via MRI or CT imaging. So we are making a lot of assumptions based on symptoms that MIGHT be related to a macro, but also might not. That was the case with my own Cushpup. He developed problems that could have been consistent with a macro, but he might have had a different type of brain tumor altogether or even some other issue that was causing his problems. But we never pursued the imaging that would have told us for certain.

Over the years, we have become more familiar with macros here on the forum, so I think we may be more quick to ascribe problems that appear in our dogs to macros than we might have done in the past. So that may contribute to our sense that macros are more common, whether or not that is actually true.

(And Mary Beth, thank you for allowing us to hijack Alivia's thread for a little while here!)

Marianne

[addy]

I am glad we can have these conversations as it is helpful to us all
and yes MB, we thank you for allowing us to high jack your thread. There are always so many decisions to be made by each of us, it is so hard to see the right path sometimes.

I think most importantly, whatever path we all chose, we should not feel quilty and play the "if only" game. We all love our dogs or we would not be here and we all do the best we can with the love and support of our family here. IF we have to always remember that we really do the best we can.

love you all

[Boriss McCall]

[QUOTE=labblab;83386]Theoretically, both trilostane and Lysodren ought to have the same effect re: macros since it is the disruption to the ACTH feedback loop (which both drugs create) that probably hastens tumor growth. There is at least one research study that established this potential for trilostane; it has not yet been documented for Lysodren.

So, by the disruption to the loop it could cause the tumor to grow? Am I reading this right.
If that is the case why would we ever want to stop the loop? I might be confusing what I am reading.

Sorry to high jack little Alivia's thread one more time. I just want to make sure I understand.

[labblab]

Amy, here's a quote that may explain the effect more clearly. And as I said above, there is now at least one study that has indeed documented the potential for the effect with trilostane.


Because most chemotherapeutic agents have no effect
on the pituitary itself, they do not inhibit ACTH secretion,
which may actually increase with therapy.This phenomenon,
known as Nelson’s syndrome, has been well
documented in humans with pituitary tumors treated
with bilateral adrenalectomy. Nelson’s syndrome refers
to rapid enlargement of a pituitary mass that occurs after
loss of negative feedback from adrenal cortisol production,
which has an inhibitory effect on ACTH release.
While this phenomenon has been suggested to occur in
dogs, studies have shown no correlation between
treatment with mitotane and pituitary size or rate of
pituitary tumor growth. However, because the exact
mechanism behind the development of Nelson’s syndrome
is not completely understood, the potential for tumor expansion
as a result of adrenal corticolysis or decreased cortisol production seems plausible.

http://www.k9cushings.com/forum/showthread.php?t=229

My own thought is that this possible effect probably should not be a reason for owners to opt out of Cushing's treatment for otherwise strongly symptomatic dogs who don't exhibit neurological issues. Across the board, it is not common for canine pituitary tumors to enlarge to a size sufficient to cause major neurological problems. And so when weighing quality of life issues, it is important to consider the damage/discomfort that is known to be associated with untreated Cushing's in symptomatic dogs. My own dog was miserable prior to starting trilostane treatment. He then had several months in which he rebounded prior to exhibiting serious neurological abnormalities. So even had I known that the trilostane might hasten the growth of his enlarging tumor, I still would have chosen to treat for those months in order to relieve him of his awful Cushing's symptoms.

Marianne

[Boriss McCall]

Thanks Marianne,

I do agree quality of life is very important. But, I don't think it hit me until just now after reading this article the meds can make the tumor grow faster.

But, on the other argument these tumors continue to grow either way with or without treatment. ugg.. this all just sux. :(

[MBK]

First of all everyone, absolutely no need to apologize for highjacking my thread!!! I welcome and appreciate the discussion. So feel free to continue here any time. Without a doubt this is a confusing disease with so many variables. I think where I am is trying to weigh any possible treatment risks against her symptoms and quality of life.

Overall, Ali had been doing really well. She recently had pyoderma, but we cleared that up with a round of antibiotics. She has had an ongoing problem with a severely itchy butt that's gotten so bad she has the fur licked off and the skin really swollen. The dermatologist and IMS thought it was allergies and she's been grain free and on tons of meds, shampoos, etc. - nothing helped. Been searching for answers and I think I may have come up with what it is on my own - Malassezia dermatitis, a type of fungal infection. I started treating for that yesterday (bathing her in Selsun Blue with salicylic acid) and there's been some improvement. Hopefully, the improvement continues.

Now, back to the other...potentially treating with low dose prednisone. Alivia's regular vet read the study and he's emailed me three times today. He discussed it with a specialist friend of his, the doctor that did Ali's sonogram back when she had pancreatitis and who knows Dr. Allen. (Dr. Allen spoke highly of him) They are not convinced it will work, but also are not convinced it won't. They both think it would be less risky to try (for Alivia) than either Lysodren or Trilostane. Ali's vet thinks it would not be dangerous but that the response may be hard to evaluate. I think she'd have to have testing done prior and during like with other treatments. We are still talking back and forth and haven't yet decided.

[Squirt's Mom]

Hi Mary Beth,

It would seem to me that you would want to continue having the UTK panel run if you try the pred route since the claim is that the pred will work on the intermediates and they are the only ones I know of that do this testing. Plus, if you don't continue monitoring and sharing the results, how will we know if it's working? ;)

It's like some members who chose to try an herbal approach to Cushing's but never kept up the testing to see if the treatments were controlling the cortisol or just the signs - all we had to go on was their posts - anecdotal not scientific support. Every one of those folks quit posting and disappeared so we have no idea what the eventual results were...and I for one would have LOVED to see what was actually happening with the treatments as each one was using different herbs and formulas. I kept in touch with a couple of them via email for a while and started learning a bit about herbs from them but then they stopped mailing and responding. So please do keep up the testing, for many reasons, the least of which is our curiosity...you will need to know what, if any, effect the pred is having on her intermediates, cortisol, liver, etc.

Hugs,
Leslie and the gang

[MBK]

Yes, the UTK panel is one I would definitely want run prior to beginning any treatment. It's been awhile since she's had this done. She will be due for a full blood panel soon, too. But, right now the priority for me is to get the itchy butt issue under control and then see where things stand. That seems to be causing her the most discomfort at the moment and I don't want that to skew any test results, either. Moving slow on this, but I do think it will be this route as opposed to either Trilostane or Lysodren.

[molly muffin]

Hope the itchy butt improves soon. That just sounds so uncomfortable to even type. ack!

Sharlene

[MBK]

Definition of:

ho-me-op-a-thy (n)
A system for treating disease based on the administration of minute doses of a drug that in massive amounts produces symptoms in healthy individuals similar to those of the disease itself.

High doses of Prednisone will produce symptoms of Cushing's in healthy dogs. So, by definition, the administration of low dose prednisone could be considered homeopathic for treatment of Cushing's and not really that far fetched.

[addy]

Happy Thanksgiving Mary Beth, Alivia and Maxwell!!!!!!!!!!!


I hope this post finds you all well and looking forward to eating lots of turkey!!!!

Let me know how you are doing, sweetie.

(((((((((((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))))))))

[molly muffin]

I'll second the Happy Thanksgiving!

hugs,
Sharlene and Molly Muffin

[MBK]

Thank you, Addy and Sharlene. I hope you both had a nice Thanksgiving, too. I had to take both Alivia and Maxwell to the vets on Wednesday. Alivia had her rear and and feet licked raw. Nothing seemed to be helping her. The vet did a slide and was surprised there was no yeast and not nearly as much bacteria as he expected to see. She is on a spray and oral med that seem to be helping some - hope it continues. I think this is only the 2nd time in Maxwell's 12 years that he has gone to the vets for anything other than an annual check up and booster shots. He was shaking his head and scratching at his ear. The vet said it didn't look "too bad" but that it was obviously tender as Max normally doesn't mind having his ears checked and he flinched and yelped. :( So, he is on ear drops and seems much better. It's a really good thing he has always been so healthy because he HATES getting medication - he gets REALLY mad about it! Who knew?!

[addy]

Maxwell and Koko are alike. Koko never goes to the vet except for check ups but he had an issue earlier this month as well. I hope Maxwell's ears are better. Poor guy. Koko is such a baby about his eye drops. How is Maxwell with his ear drops? Maybe its a guy thing;):D

I am hoping that oral medication kicks in for Ali. It is so hard to see them lick and chew. I remember what I went through with Zoe this time last year. Can we blame it on global warming?:):)

How are you feeling? I hope everything is okay with you health wise. I was really sick for awhile but am back on track, thank goodness.

When I got my new printer and it said I could print on card stock, I immediately thought of you and the lovely labels you made for your dog treats. I still think you could sell them on line. Packaging is everything:D:D:D:D

Love ya

[goldengirl88]

Mary Beth:
Sorry to hear Alivia is having problems. Tipper does constant licking also, it is so hard to watch her do this. Thank God she still has no real skin issues from it. She does have her allergies though, and she scratches her face by her lip until it bleeds. Your poor baby, her feet must be sore. Do you give her Vitamin E? I give it to Tipper every day, but only 100 units as advised by the Vet. Maybe that would help her some.
Did you see the really, really, bad game with the Steelers? It was one of the worst I have seen!!
Hope you are well, and get Alivia on the mend. Wishing all of us to get thru the holidays without any incidents with the babies. That is what I want for Christmas, a normal healthy Tipper, and for all the babies on here struggling with this awful disease to be well.

[molly muffin]

Well, Molly would probably be called a tom boy, does that count? she certainly doesn't like the ear drops!

How is that going? Maxwell doing any better? It took almost 2 weeks for Molly's to clear up. :(
Hope Alivia is feeling better too. These allergy things are just horrible to try and deal with and I know it makes them feel so miserable.

hugs,
Sharlene and Molly Muffin

[molly muffin]

Merry Christmas to you and Alivia and Maxwell.
I'm sending a note to both of them to behave so you don't have to go to the vets over the holidays for anything. :) (no thanksgiving repeat!!)

Have a safe and wonderful Holiday.

hugs,
Sharlene and Molly Muffin

[MBK]

Haven't been here for awhile. Just checking in with an update. Alivia had been suffering with skin issues for a long time and had her feet and butt licked raw. We tried everything: sprays, creams, shampoos - both OTC and prescription, with no luck. It was awful. Finally gave in and put her on a 10-day course of Prednisone. Cleared everything right up! :) Her fur has grown back, no more itching and she is doing wonderful. I know it was contraversial when I brought it up here before, but Alivia is now on a low dose daily Prednisone therapy and doing extremely well. I have to follow my head and heart and do what is best for Alivia. She will be 15 years old this month! :D

[Harley PoMMom]

Oh Mary Beth, it is so good to hear from you!

We are never here to judge any one, and yes, opinions vary of various subjects but the only thing we want and pray for is that these sweet pups are doing fine and are feeling great.

I am so happy to hear that Alivia is feeling and doing well. Always go with your gut because you are the only one that knows Alivia best.

Please do keep us updated!

Love and hugs,
Lori

[addy]

Mary Beth!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:D:D:D:D:D:D:D

I am so glad you came back and to hear Alivia is doing well. I am sorry that her allergies got so bad. Allergies are so darn hard. Zoe finally stopped chewing her paws, just plain stopped. First time in 4 years I think that she stopped completely for an extended period of time.:confused::confused:

How is Maxwell? Have you made any more dog treats? How are you feeling? I have been thinking about you and now here you are:D:D:D

I am so thrilled to hear from you.

[molly muffin]

Mary Beth! Alivia! Yay, glad to hear from you!
You know my Tasha was on prednisone for years because of her allergies. Every time I tried to get her off the prednisone, it would just come back. She ended up on it her entire life. I now know it probably tipped her into cushings, but didn't know that then.
At 15 if it is helping her, then that is good! And coat back too.
So what have you been up to? so good to see you here again!

hugs,
Sharlene and Molly Muffin

[MBK]

Hi, Lori, Addy and Sharlene.
Good to hear from you all! Besides Alivia's skin issues clearing up completely, she is not showing any cushing's symptoms, either (knock on wood). So, for now, all is well. :D

Maxwell will be 13 years old in August and he still acts like a puppy - full of energy and almost always healthy.

Everything has been going so well that we got a new addition - a baby parakeet named Zuni. Alivia doesn't pay much attention to him but Maxwell spends HOURS (literally) staring at him and wagging his little tail. I am not sure yet if Zuni is his new best friend or if he thinks he would be a good snack. Everyone has been teasing me about how I spoil my pets because Zuni is about 4 inches tall and weighs about 2 or 3 ounces and I got him a cage that is taller than me - they are calling it his mansion! :p He's a pretty little bird - I'll post some pictures.

[NoonelovesmelikeNorman]

Hello Mary Beth, so happy that Alivia is doing so well...how wonderful. I have to say I love the picture of her, she looks like she is driving. :D And Happy 15th Birthday to her. :D The best gift is good health. It is good to read some happy /cute news. Maxwell and Zuni, funny what brings us and our pupps joy...the simplest things. Every day is a blessing.
Sharon and Norman

[MBK]

Happy 15th Birthday, Alivia!!! :D Special treats and extra loving today!!

[Squirt's Mom]

Happy 15th Birthday, Alivia!

You were born the same day as Squirt! What a special day that was indeed!

[Harley PoMMom]

Happy 15th Birthday, Alivia!

[Boriss McCall]

Happy Birthday Alivia!!

[Mel-Tia]

Happy Birthday Alivia

[molly muffin]

Alivia!!! Happy Birthday!!!

[addy]

The happiest of birthdays for you Alivia


Hi MB, hope she is doing well and you and Maxwell are too!:):)

[lulusmom]

Happy Birthday, Alivia!

[goldengirl88]

Happy Birthday Alivia- I sincerely hope you and you mom have a wonderful day!!! God Bless you both.

[MBK]

I haven't been here for quite awhile...a lot going on, but I wanted to post an update about Alivia.

Ali is doing okay. She is really starting to show her age (15 1/2). I worry about her every day. She seems to be completely deaf...at least most of the time. Once in awhile it seems like she can hear - my daughter says it's selective. :rolleyes: Her arthritis in her back seems to be causing more problems than cushings. Steps are getting more and more difficult for her. Carpeting the hardwood stairs seemed to have helped a lot for awhile. But, even with the carpet, they are becoming hard for her to navigate again. Most concerning, is for the past few weeks, she will not let me touch her head - she will snarl her lips and bare her teeth and snap at me...something she never, EVER did. At first it seemed like it was because she didn't hear me and it startled her, but I tried making sure she saw my hand coming and got the same reaction. I know I need to take her back to her specialist for this new symptom, but I hate to cause her any additional stress and I am also afraid of what she may say. The specialist will most likely want to do another ultrasound and since I will not put her through surgery that I truly believe she will not survive, I am not sure what the value of the ultrasound would be. The US would be so stressful for Ali and I really believe any stress on her is not a good thing.

It is not all doom and gloom, though. Ali still enjoys watching television. She has good days and bad. She still attempts to play with Max sometimes, but tires easily. She does not have a ravenous cushing's appetite (never really did), but she usually eats well. Her mother and sister both were in good health and died at age 13, so that always weighs on my mind. One day at a time here.

[Squirt's Mom]

Hi Mary Beth!

Good to hear from you again! :) These old gals can keep us in a tizzy, huh? I can relate to what you are saying about testing - especially when we already know we won't take any drastic steps such as surgery at their age. We just keep doing the best we can to help them enjoy each day as much as possible...and doing it all with love.

I wonder if Ali's mouth might be bothering her? Is she eating alright, chewing normally? Also wonder about a headache that might make her snap when you reach for her head. And she could be like me - just grouchier and grouchier as she ages! :p

Is she on treatment these days? Squirt hasn't been on her Lyso for over a month now since her seizure and no signs! Weird, huh?

Don't be a stranger! ;)
Hugs,
Leslie and the gang

[molly muffin]

Hi Mary Beth! :) So good to hear from you.
I totally get you. It's hard to know how much more testing one should do and at what point, you just stop the tests and go on with life, doing the best you can, all the time, which you already do.
Maybe it is a tooth or mouth issue as Leslie mentioned. Or maybe an ear problem?
I hope Ali has many more enjoyable days ahead of her. She has to keep Max on his toes :)

hugs,
Sharlene and Molly Muffin

[goldengirl88]

MBK:
Glad to hear from you. So sorry that your baby is having problems. I had to do some things with Tipper the last few months and she became very agressive to me and doing what Ali did to you. I can't remember is Ali on the Vetoryl? I have been told by many that this can produce many changes in their personalities etc. I hope you find out what is wrong, and God bless her for making it to that age, with your help I am sure she will be around a lot longer. I hope everything goes well and it was just some sort of fluke, and she didn't mean it. Blessings
Patti

[doxiesrock912]

I wonder if something is hurting her? Definitely worth a checkup with the vet.

[MBK]

Well, it's been awhile so I thought I'd check in with an update on Alivia. She saw her IMS last week for her 6 month check up - yes, she hasn't had to go in between for quite awhile!!! :D

Ali is 15 1/2 years old! The vet was amazed; said Ali looks better than dogs she sees that are much younger, including her own 12 year old! Her fur has all grown back and it is soft, shiny and thick. Most importantly, she has no symptoms of Cushing's!! Her blood work has IMPROVED overall from 6 months ago!! Her blood pressure is controlled. :D:D She walks like an old lady and she seems to be almost deaf. Just when I am sure she is totally deaf, she'll act like she heard something. :confused: The vet thinks the pain she was having is from arthritic changes in her back/neck. She wants me to give her fish oil and prescribed a pain med to keep her comfortable, as needed.

I went to a pet expo today and talked to an aromatherapist there about Ali's arthritis. I bought an essential oil mixture from her that is safe for dogs (and people). She said to massage it into her spine area - it has peppermint and several other essential oils (diluted to be safe for her size) - I'm thinking it may be like Ben-Gay for pooches! It was expensive, but worth a try, and will be worth every penny if it helps her feel better!

About the pet expo...loved seeing all the dogs but there were a lot of rescue groups and I wanted to save ALL of them. It always breaks my heart to see homeless ones - especially the seniors. They just don't deserve to be tossed away. :( I had a hard time leaving without one! Shorty (Pit Boss) was there with his dog Hercules. It was fun seeing them - he is really funny.

Well, that's my update! Give all your babies hugs from me and Ali. I am not here much anymore but I still think of you all often!!

[Harley PoMMom]

Hi Mary Beth!

It is great to hear from you and getting a wonderful update about Ali is a bonus!!! I am so thrilled that Ali is doing so well, Kudos to you!! Sending huge and loving hugs to you both, Lori

[molly muffin]

Hi!! I'm so glad that Alivia is doing so well. Kudos to you! 15 1/2, Yay, she's Really do well. What a sweetheart.

Oh don't I know how hard it is not to take every one of those precious babies home with you. I agree it is very sad to see the elderly ones and know that someone probably gave them up. Optimally every dog will have a safe loving home to grow old in and be loved, but it just doesn't happen always :( I love the rescues that try really hard to find homes for them especially.

Hugs and don't be such a stranger! :)
Sharlene and Molly Muffin

[MBK]

It's right here, Addy! Well kind of...2 postings up! ;)

[addy]

Here it is!!!!!! I must be having a senior moment:p:p:p

Oh Mary Beth this is such a good report. You have overcome so much with Ali and I beam with joy that she has no signs of Cushings and the chewing stopped and her little butt is no longer sore.

Zoe lost much of her hearing two years ago but she can always hear me go to the kitchen:D:D:D;) I think they have selective hearing indeed.

How is Maxwell? I'm sure he must be fine. Koko just had a dental and is milking it.:D:D

I am so happy to hear from you. Please keep coming back with updates on Alivia who has the most beautiful eyes.

[MBK]

Thank you, Lori and Sharlene. It is good to catch up with everyone and I should check in more often. So many people here that I don't know now, but the stories are all sadly familiar. You regulars are amazing to keep up with it all.

Addy, I will have to agree...Alivia has gorgeous, soulful eyes. And, there is absolutely nothing wrong with her eyesight. She loves to lay on the couch and watch TV. She NEVER misses spotting an animal, even if they are in the background for a second! She will bark at them. When her hearing was good, she REALLY disliked any animal that could talk like a human. There is a Beggin Strips commercial where the dog talked and that would really upset her! She just sees no need for talking animals. :p

Oh, the sore butt and severe itching to the point of being furless and having red, raw skin...you'll never guess what we finally resorted to. Prednisone! I just regret that we waited so long and she suffered so much and for so long before we tried it. I was terrified, but the outcome could not have been better! Almost immediate relief from the constant itching and it seems to have also had the side effect of alleviating her Cushing's symptoms as well.

I feel so fortunate to have Ali still. There were definitely times that I never thought she'd see life this long. She is absolutely amazing and such a little fighter. She has left multiple vets scratching their heads and wondering how she reversed something they had seen in tests. Her IMS is continually amazed with her and says that she has had several miracles. I'm okay with that and hope the miracles continue! :D

[MBK]

I was petting Ali last night and noticed a patch of missing fur on her neck. I started to panic thinking here we go again. Then I remembered the tech at the IMS's office told me they had to shave a spot to do her blood tests last week and that's what I was seeing! :o Her fur has grown back so thick, that you really have to search to even find the area they shaved! It already has fur growing back, too!!

Just goes to show that even when they are doing well, you never stop worrying. Thankfully, it was a false alarm! :D

Happy 4th, everyone!

[molly muffin]

ROFL! Way to freak yourself out Mary Beth. :) That sounds like something I would do. hahaha

Just really shows that Alivia is doing very well. yay for that!!!

Happy 4th!

Sharlene and Molly Muffin

[addy]

Yup, I would do and have done almost the same thing:o:o:o

Mary Beth, I am going to give Julie a link to your thread. She is trying to get Hannah out of her cone, I think Hannah is about the same age as Alivia.

I am thrillled little Ali has no sore butt any more and I am hoping Julie will have success as well.

HAPPY FOURTH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[jmac]

Hi Mary Beth,

I'm so glad to hear Alivia is doing so well! Such great news! It's always such a wonderful feeling to see them feeling good again after long bouts of problems.

Julie & Hannah

[MBK]

I may have to start building an Ark soon. We have had thunderstorms every day for weeks, but today was the worst. We had a lot of flash flooding all around Pittsburgh and my area got hit pretty hard this morning and then again a little while ago. There were even a few nearby tornados that touched down - fortunately that part missed me! Other than a little water in my basement and Maxwell refusing to go outside (he's gonna burst, soon!), we're okay! I may have spoken too soon...the thunder has started again! :eek:

[molly muffin]

I saw a huge mass of storms heading for Pittsburgh this afternoon. Stay safe!! We had a flood here in Toronto on Monday. Awful. We're still recovering and one of my friends only got power back today. Some lights and subway stations still out though. High ground is to be coveted!

hugs
Sharlene and Molly muffin

[addy]

Sorry to hear that MB, it must be the same weather system that hit Sharlene in Toronto.:(:(:(

It has been a crazy summer so far with all the storms, we finally are to get a break from them for a week, I think. Maybe you will as well.:)

How are Ali and Maxwell doing? Are they afraid of the storms? Maxwell is like Koko, "you want me to do what and get wet?":D:
Koko is turning into a prima donna drama queen for sure. I know it is my own dang fault for spoiling him so.;););)

Stay dry

[Budsters Mom]

Please send some of that rain out to Southern California! We desperately need it! Considering all the rain you have had, an ark wouldn't be a bad idea.;) Poor Maxwell, I would not want to go outside either! Big hugs to you both!

[MBK]

Sharlene, I am actually at the top of a hill, so that has helped me a lot! Others have it much worse, so I am feeling pretty fortunate.

Kathy, I would LOVE to send some of this rain out to you...but it comes with THICK humidity, too! :eek: I hope you guys get a reasonable amount of rain soon!

Addy, Alivia is completely unfazed by the storms. They've never bothered her but it probably doesn't hurt that she is almost deaf now, either! :rolleyes: Max, is another story. He trembles uncontrollably, refuses to eat anything (he would turn done filet mignon and has!) and won't go outside for anything. Thank goodness for pee pads. That's my loveable Maxwell who acts like a tough guy until a thunderstorm! He is going to be next at the vet's, too. He is having a greenish discharge from his eyes. He was there a couple months ago for it and they gave him drops. He hated the drops and acted like they burned but it helped a little. It's back and seems a little worse now. And, he is sleeping more than usual. Always something...

[molly muffin]

Oh poor Maxwell. What was causing the discharge? Sounds like an infection if it's greenish doesn't it.

Storm split my house today and we didn't get the rain. It went on both sides of us just by a few miles though. I'll take it!

Sharlene and Molly Muffin

[MBK]

I thought an infection because of it being thick and green. My vet, who has never been wrong, suspected a seasonal allergy type thing. I'm thinking he might be wrong this one time and maybe Max needs a course of antibiotics. :rolleyes: Other than sleeping a bit more, he doesn't seem bothered by it, though. But, I certainly don't want it to effect his vision.

Glad the storm missed you, Sharlene!! It's nice to have some good luck anywhere we can get it!

[molly muffin]

yea, even if it was caused by allergies, since it's green, it does seem to have turned into an infection. So, could be you are both right in this case. But I'd want antibiotics for it too. Gosh knows you don't need any long term problems.

Stay dry!!
hugs,
Sharlene and Molly Muffin

[goldengirl88]

Mary Beth:
Sorry to hear Max is having a time with these storms. I saw on the computer what all flooded in my beloved town of Pgh. Glad to hear you are on high ground. The humidity is a bear, and really bad for Tipper with her heart. Glad Alivia is not bothered by all this. Tipper trembles, pants big wet spots on the floor, won't drink, eat, or pee. I have tried everything and nothing helps her. I think we have a clear forecast for a few days and hope you have the same. Blessings
Patti

[Squirt's Mom]

Happy Birthday, Mary Beth!

[molly muffin]

Happy Birthday!!
hugs,
Sharlene and Molly Muffin

[Harley PoMMom]

Happy Birthday, Mary Beth!!

[goldengirl88]

Mary Beth; I just wanted to wish you a happy birthday, and hope Alivia is still doing well and loving the car seat. Steelers training camp opened so I am excited about that. God Bless
Patti

[addy]

Mary Beth, I hope your birthday was perfect in every way!!!!!
:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D

[MBK]

I haven't been here in quite awhile! Sometimes (a lot of times) it is easier to forget about the dreaded cushing's.

I am happy to report that Alivia is doing VERY well. She is 15 years and 9 months old. She is almost deaf and has a bit of arthritis. But, her eyesight is perfect and she is really not exhibiting any signs of cushing's. Well, she does drink a little more than Maxwell and she pees a little more, too. That's all, though, so I have no complaints. Her blood tests have been great and she continues to amaze her vets. In fact, she only goes to the vet's for her routine 6 month check ups!! I remember over a year ago thinking that last Christmas would probably be her last. Now, I am happily looking forward to another Christmas with my sweet girl! In fact, I have some of her Christmas gifts in bags on the dining room floor and she has been "snooping" in them! I COULD move them but she is enjoying peeking and it makes me smile to watch her! :D I know that I am very fortunate and I am enjoying every day with her.

Maxwell is 13 years and 3 months and still runs around like a puppy. :cool: He did have to go to the vet for an eye issue - his eyes weren't tearing sufficiently, so he was prescribed generic Restasis. That didn't seem to help. His eyes were really red and he hated when I put it in. I think it must have burned. Now I am just putting artificial tears (human type) in his eyes a couple times a day and he is fine with that and his eyes are no longer red. I've been putting them in Ali's big, beautiful eyes, too...just because she seems to like it!

With Thanksgiving coming up, I am very much reminded to count my blessings. I do continue to think about all of you and hope you and your babies are well.

[addy]

Hello Mary Beth and a huge Happy Thanksgiving to you, Alivia and our Maxwell too.:):):):):)

MB, I remember your journey with Ali very well so I could not be happier to read the latest great update.

I am so glad you let us know as we wonder what happens to members and it so good to read positive news. Just the tonic we need.:D:D:D:D

I hope you have great plans for Thanksgiving though I just saw a teaser on the morning national news we may be in for bad weather.
Hopefully that will change.

We are good, Zoe is growing hair and her caramel colored spots are back. We are having a few issues but I think we need to lower her Vetoryl dose, LOWER it, can you imagine, rolleyes::rolleyes: Anyway that is what I have done and she already seems better.

Have the happiest of holidays Mary beth and dont stay away too long, we love hearing from you.

[goldengirl88]

Mary Beth:
Glad to hear Alivia is doing so well. I have had many bumps in the road with Tipper. I am taking her tomorrow to the hospital in Pittsburgh PVSEC. Blessings
Patti

[molly muffin]

Mary Beth so good to hear from you. I'm thrilled to hear that Alivia is doing so well and Maxwell too.
We do need to hear these positive journeys sometimes too. :) So a huge, thank you! Not to mention, just great to hear from you too. :)
The holidays are such fun to look forward to when our babies are doing well. :)
Take care and don't be a stranger! :)
hugs,
Sharlene and Molly Muffin

[MBK]

Just Checking in to wish everyone a Happy New Year! I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas and that 2014 brings good things.

I also wanted to give you an update on my precious Alivia. Although she is not having any Cushing’s symptoms, I am sad to say that in my heart I sense that she is dying of natural causes. I know her so well and although I don't think it is eminent, she is exhibiting all the signs of a dog dying of old age. She sleeps a lot - most of the time, in fact. Her appetite has decreased. Sometimes she has no interest in food at all. Other times she will eat most, but never all, of her dish. She wants to be near me (the closer the better) at ALL times. She WILL be 16 in February. At times she seems confused. She scared me to death about a week ago. She got off of the couch where she had been sleeping and went under the end table and was trying to get behind the couch – a space of about 2 inches. I didn’t see her get there but I heard her toe nails scraping and slipping on the hardwood floor – like she was walking in place, head butting into the wall. She had never gone under there EVER. I had to pull her out. That was a REALLY bad night. She fell out of my bed twice, one time peeing on the floor where she landed and once she peed in the bed. She was disoriented and a bit agitated all night. It seemed like she had a mild stroke and I really thought that was the end. Thankfully, my little trooper rallied again and by the next day she was greatly improved!

She’s been having a hard time going up and down steps because of arthritis in her back, but she would never let me carry her. We have now reached an agreement. She comes down on her own, but waits for me to carry her up. ;) She no longer attempts to go down the deck steps when it is snowy and does her business on the deck, which is fine by me! Most importantly, she does not seem to be suffering or in any discomfort. She still will bark at every dog or animal she sees on television! Since her episode, I give her a tiny bit of Tramadol before bed each night. It seems to help her rest more soundly. She has her 6 month appointment with her specialist in 2 weeks. I almost hate to take her, but have to in order to get refills on her 2 routine meds (Amlodopine and compounded aspirin). I’m still debating whether I will even allow blood work. I just feel in my heart that it is best to not to stress her in anyway and to just love her and enjoy as much time with her as I can. I had knee surgery on December 2nd and have been off work since then. As hard as that was on me, it almost seems like a blessing in disguise as it has given me lots of snuggle time with my sweet Ali. Best medicine for both of us!! :D

Alivia's mother and sister both passed away at the age of 13, so I feel fortunate to have had her for this amount of time. I hope that when her time comes it will be on her own terms, hopefully while sleeping at my side. But, Ali has defied the odds MANY times, so who knows?! (Aren't you glad I only check in once in awhile since this post is so long???)

Happy 2014, all!

[goldengirl88]

Hi Mary Beth:
Too bad about our Steelers losing out in such a bad way. I was glad to see your post, but sorry to hear Alivia is failing. There has been so much bad news on here lately it has become very hard to deal with. Every time someone elses baby succumbs to this dreadful disease it brings the mortality of your baby to the surface. Tipper has had many troubles lately and I am worried it will get to the point where I can no longer pull the rabbit out of the hat. I wish for this New Year that someone somewhere would find a cure for this dreadful disease that had torn apart so many lives. I hope Alivia rallies and goes on for both your sakes. I know how dear she is to you. I think it has been a blessing that you were able to stay home and spend time with her. God Bless you Both
Patti

[molly muffin]

Happy New Year Mary Beth and Alivia

It is good to hear from you but I'm sorry to hear that Alivia is having some old age problems. :( It is never easy to see them age so much faster than we do.
I'm glad that she has been with you for this long, 16 years is good and I hope that you will have much more time with her. I know that every moment will be a precious one.

hugs,
Sharlene and Molly Muffin

[MBK]

Patti,
"Failing" is a good way to put it. Alivia is failing. At this point, I really don't think it is Cushing's related. Which is good because I am not going crazy trying to fix her. But, it is bad because there is no fix for old age. Thanks for the kind words. Please give an extra hug to Tipper, our fellow JRT!!

Sharlene,
Thank you, too, for the kind words. So unfair that their lives are so short. I think it is because they come to us with perfectly pure souls and that NEVER changes. They don't need as much time on earth as we do to learn. They love us unconditionally. I love the saying that "I wish I was half the person my dog thinks I am". I will just continue to appreciate and enjoy my time with Ali and hope that the good days far outnumber the bad ones! :)

[labblab]

Dear Mary Beth,

It is always so good to hear from you, although this is a bittersweet report on sweet Alivia. You are so right -- we are the lucky ones to be allowed to share the lives of these precious souls.

Please give Alivia a giant hug on behalf of her family here, and you take good care of yourself, as well!

With my best wishes,
Marianne

[addy]

MB I was so glad to hear from you but sad to read about Ali. It is bittersweet, I know, when we come to realize their light is dimming, especially when they have fought so hard and have been so brave.

I am also sorry to hear you are hurt. we make a fine pair with our i juries:):) I hope Maxwell is ok.

Please keep in touch and let me know how you and Ali are doing.

[MBK]

Hi, Marianne!
Every time I come back here I am reminded of how much I miss you guys! So, why do I stay away? :confused: I think sometimes it's the sadness here and I don't want to dwell on the illness side of things. But, I also learn things here. Glynda mentioned Metacam in a post for Addy. After reading all the good reviews on it and how much it helps with arthritis pain, I am going to ask Ali's specialist about it at her upcoming appointment. My goal for Alivia right now is COMFORT and I think her arthritis is what bothers her the most.

Hi, Addy!
I read about your shoulder...yes, we are quite the pair! I hurt my knee over a year ago when I totaled my car. After nearly a year of PT, cortisone injections, rooster injections, etc. with no relief they finally did an MRI and found a tear (among other things), so I had surgery on 12/2. I will have PT for at least 4-6 weeks. On the plus side, since I have been off work for a month, I have had a lot of extra snuggle time with Ali and I am grateful for that! Give Zoe a hug from us!!

[MBK]

My sweet, precious Alivia is gone. She passed away this morning. My heart is breaking. She would have been 16 years old in just 10 days. She had rallied and amazed her doctors many times, but this time was just too much. She was my sweetheart, so I guess it was appropriate for her to leave this world on Valentine's Day. I miss her so much. Rest in Peace my sweet baby. I will always love you.

[molly muffin]

Oh my dearest Mary Beth. My heart breaks for you. You and Alivia were an amazing team, going through so much for so long.

Alivia Will live forever, in your heart.

love,
Sharlene

[scoora]

I'm so sorry to hear of the passing of your sweet girl Alivia.
My thoughts and prayers are with you.
Hugs

[Harley PoMMom]

Dearest Mary Beth,

I am so terribly sorry for your loss of sweet Alivia and my heart goes out to you. We are here for, Mary Beth, always.

With Heartfelt Sympathy,
Lori

[doxiesrock912]

Mary Beth,

I am so sorry for your loss of Ali. I pray that her passing was peaceful and pain free. My mother's birthday is today and she passed three years ago this coming October. Look for her Ali! She also loved animals.

[Sabre's Mum]

Dear Mary Beth,

I am truly sorry to hear of Alivia's passing. My thoughts are with you.

Hugs
Angela

[Budsters Mom]

I am so sorry for the loss of your sweet girl. Alivia has joined our other fur angels at the rainbow bridge. Run free Alivia, run free. Xxxx

[goldengirl88]

Mary Beth:
You said the last post you knew something was wrong.I am so sorry about Alivia. She is not hurting anymore and running free with the other cush babies. God Bless you and Alivia and we are always here for you.
Patti

[addy]

Oh MB, how it hurt to read this when I awoke this morning as I know your heart is broken. Precious Alivia with the most beautiful eyes fought every battle handed to her with all her heart and amazed us all. She will live on forever in our hearts, never to be forgotten.

Please take care of yourself and give Maxwell extra hugs from Auntie Addy. We are here whenever you need to talk or want to share memories.

Much love being sent our way, dear friend.

[Squirt's Mom]

My heart is broken for you, Mary Beth. Our thoughts and prayers are with you all.

[MBK]

Thank you, everyone. This is so incredibly hard, but knowing all of you here understand the deep connection I had with Alivia is very comforting. I will try to tell you a little about the circumstances. Maybe it will help someone here...or, maybe it will just help me.

Ali saw her specialist a few weeks ago. Her blood testing showed a decrease in her kidney function, enough that the specialist wanted to see her back in 4 months, instead of her typical 6 months. She had lost weight and her appetite had declined. Overall though, she thought she was doing well for being nearly 16.

Then, about 2 weeks ago, Ali had another stroke. I was home from work with the flu (the real confirmed flu...when it rains, it pours). It was very early in the morning and I heard Ali walking around and around out in the hallway. I got up to check on her and she was walking in circles and falling over and seemed very disoriented. I took her to her regular vet. He said to be patient and she could recover. The next 24 hours was rough. She kept trying to walk into tiny spaces - behind the TV, under the end tables, into the headboard. It was heart wrenching. I had to hug her and hold her and watch her every second, even through the night, to keep her calm. But, like the little fighter she was, she began to rally and I thought we'd get through it again.

A few days ago, she vomited completely undigested food and had no interest in eating. I made her plain rice and she ate that and kept it down, but after that, she refused all food but continued to drink a bit of water. She had all the symptoms of kidney failure. I had to give her pain medication every 2-3 hours just to keep her comfortable. So, she was either sleeping or in pain (or possibly both). I hoped she would let go on her own, but I think she didn't want to be the one to leave me.

I made the hardest decision I have ever made. Of course it was complicated by the fact that her regular vet is never in the office on Fridays (another one is there that I had never met) and her specialist was off until next Tuesday. I could not bear to take her to a stranger. I texted her regular vet and told him I thought it was "time". He offered to meet me at his office. He was kind and gentle and I am eternally grateful. I asked him if there was any chance he could fix Ali one more time, even though I knew the answer. He told Ali what a fighter she was and that she was an amazing little girl. Alivia remained in my arms the entire time, wrapped in a warm soft blanket, completely calm and relaxed. He gave her one injection and left the room. She was sound asleep and we spent some time together like that. He came back in and gave her the second injection...she never even stirred and it was over in seconds.

We wrapped her in her blanket and I took her home. I thought Max deserved to have closure, too. I laid Ali in her bed and Max went to her, gently sniffed at her, and then laid down beside her. Then I took Ali to Perfect Pastures, a pet cemetery and crematory. My daughter and (ex) mother-in-law met me there. They laid Ali out for a short viewing and allowed us to say our good byes. She truly looked relaxed and just like she was sleeping. The tenseness she had from the pain she was in was gone. Unfortunately, the pain in my heart is not.

[Trish]

Dear Mary Beth

I am so sorry to hear this news of Alivia. She has always had one of my favourite avatars, I love how white she is and that cheeky eye looking over her shoulder. We are never ready to say goodbye to our little darlings. How nice your regular vet came in to help you, that is such a good thing for him to do. It sounds like everything just snowballed for her at the end and while it was so hard for you to do, it was the best for her. Big hugs at this sad time xxxxxxx

[doxiesrock912]

Oh Mary Beth,
I'm crying right along with you. So glad that Max got closure instead of wondering where Ali went to. It is important too.

[MBK]

Thanks for all the kind words.

Trish, you actually made me smile, remembering Alivia's Avatar picture. A couple years ago, she somehow hurt her leg and was limping off and on. X-rays were normal so the vet suggested physical therapy 3 times per week. It included walking on an underwater treadmill. Ali cooperated and did what she was supposed to do, but she absolutely HATED it. That picture was taken as we went over the bridge on the way to PT. She recognized the route and that sideways glare was her letting me know that she knew where we were going and was not at all happy about it. The therapy worked and she never had any more problems with her leg. ;) Oh how I will miss those expressions and her beautiful, dark, soulful eyes...

[goldengirl88]

MBK:
I told you this picture so reminds me of my Tipper looks just like her on the side profile. Tipper can give those dirty looks too really well. I hope you are doing well, as I know this has to be extremely difficult. Blessings
Patti

[MBK]

Valerie,

I hope I did the right thing for Max. The first night he had nightmares and whimpered in his sleep. He has been following me everywhere. If I go upstairs, he does...no matter where I go, he is right there. That is not at all like him.

[Squirt's Mom]

Max is grieving right along with you, Mary Beth. I do think you did the right thing in bringing Ali home so he could see her and say his goodbyes. We did that with Ruby and it did seem to help the other babies accept her passing. If Squirt has to leave via the vet, I plan to do the same as you - bring her home so everyone can say goodbye then return her for the cremation.

There are some links in the In Loving Memory section about grieving dogs that may offer some helpful info for you and Max. Know your family here is by your side always, our tears falling with yours.

Hugs,
Leslie and the gang

[MBK]

Thanks, Leslie.

It is so hard to know what is "right" or "best" or anything. Thankfully, I at least knew I planned to take Alivia to Perfect Pastures. Good thing. Because I was on auto-pilot and not thinking rationally. When they said that the cremation might not be for few days, I actually said that I was going to take Ali back home with me until it was time. Fortunately, my daughter convinced me that was not a good idea. It broke my heart to leave her there...still does. I just can't stop the tears.

[apollo6]

dear Mary Beth and Angel. Alivia
Words can not comfort you at this time. I am so sorry for the lose of your precious Alivia. May she know run free. Apollo is greeting her with hugs and licks and will be there for her. Alivia will always be in your heart. Our fur balls are such a part of us.
hugs Sonja and Angel Apollo
We are here to get you through this difficult time.

[addy]

You absolutely did the right thing for everyone, Mary Beth. Even Patricia McConnell, the animal behaviorist, suggests allowing the other dogs in the family be allowed to see and sniff their friend after passing and allow time to be with them. It truly helps the others.

I am so sorry for the pain in your heart now. We all know it is the price we pay for allowing our beloved pups into our lives but I think we are never prepared for just how painful it really is. Alivia has found sweet rest and is no longer in pain, though I know that doesn't help the hurt for you.


Hugs and love, Mary Beth. Thank you for telling us what happened. We loved her too even though we never were lucky enough to meet her in person, it helps gives us closure too.

Gosh, she was a fighter, I still remember her pancreatitis attack. I even mentioned it to Barbara when Trixie was ill recently.

Mary Beth, you always did the right thing by Ali, even at the last.

love

[doxiesrock912]

Animals understand death, just as we grieve they do too. Max needs your company as much as you need his, especially right now. His world has drastically changed too.

Mary Beth, bringing Ali's body back home would not have been a good idea. You would only have had to let her go all over again. I wouldn't wish that on anyone.
HUGS.

[Trish]

I'm glad I gave you a smile, they are probably hard to come by for you at the moment. But I am sure with a bit of time they will slowly creep back in as the sad memories give way to the happier days when she was bright as a button! She is certainly giving you the "look" in that picture, I love the photos that show the dog's personality and it looks like Alivia has that in spades xxxxx

[goldengirl88]

Mary Beth;
Thinking of you and Alivia. God Bless you both. You had a long journey together.Blessings
Patti

[drmvz]

So sorry for your loss. Thoughts and prayers for you and your precious Alivia.

[MBK]

Most people (but not all - more on that later) have been very kind and sensitive to my loss. Alivia was fortunate to have two very caring vets as her primary care providers. As I already said, her regular vet came into his office on his day off just to be with Ali in the end. I e-mailed Ali's specialist to let her know what had happened and I wanted to share her response:

"I am truly sorry to hear that news. I'll be thinking of you and of course I'll never forget sweet Alivia - and, yes she definitely was a fighter! You always made decisions in her best interests and it sounds like you did that in the end as well. My sympathies..."

This vet and her assistant spent 15 minutes sitting on the floor with Ali at her last appointment a few weeks ago. She always said if she could get a JRT exactly like Ali, she would. Anyway, her note was comforting. I am having such a hard time. My heart literally hurts.

[molly muffin]

Of course your poor heart hurts, how could it not, it has been broken. :(

It is good that the people who knew what she was going through, what she had survived, your vet, your specialist showed compassion and understanding. It's always nice to know that they get it. I think those two certainly do.

Sending love your way and healing strength
hugs,
Sharlene and Molly muffin

[addy]

Thinking of you and Maxwell today, Mary Beth and hope the pain eases a bit. I think we lose a part of us when our heart dogs leave us. It will hurt for awhile.

Big hugs and lots of love

[MBK]

Today is a bad day. I think of Alivia's big, dark, soulful eyes and how she looked at me with complete and total trust. And, then I think - I had her killed. What if SHE did not want to die??? Did I betray her trust?

[Cooper is missed]

I'm no expert but after my experience which somewhat mirrors yours I can say I think you are going through the normal grieving process. Please know there will be better days ahead. You are in the beginning and I know you can't imagine this ever getting better but it will. I know I had to go over and over the circumstances that caused me to make the same decision about Cooper. I still second guess myself but ultimately I know I did the right thing for him. I have relived that day over and over and there were so many tears. I still tear up from time to time but it's really gotten better. You did what you felt was right for Alivia and I'm sure she knows that. Time heals but I know it doesn't seem like it right now. I'm so very sorry for your grief, my heart goes out to you.

[addy]

Awww Mary Beth, your vet of how many years agreed with your decision. Part of what makes all of this so hard is we think did we do it too soon or not soon enough? You always did the right thing for Ali and belive with all you heart you did the right thing now.

I am so sorry you are having a bad day and I wish I could tell you there wont be any more but grieving is a process that is on its own time.

But please know we are here for you and I am sending SUPER BIG hugs, sweetie.

Try to lock up the guilt in a drawer. Open a drawer and say very loudly, GUILT GET IN THE DANG DRAWER NOW, then slam it closed.

Leave it there just for tonight. You can always let it out tomorrow if you want.

[molly muffin]

Sending you love and hugs Mary Beth.
Sharlene and Molly Muffin

[MBK]

Thanks everyone. I have a picture of Alivia about two weeks ago and she had no tear stains. On the day she died she had tear stains. It was as if she was crying and it breaks my heart. I know she was in pain and I know there was nothing more I could do for her. She had 2 of the best, most caring vets anyone could ask for. They both were really attached to Ali and took a personal interest in her and both agreed it was the right thing for her. But, that is the logical side. Unfortunately, my heart isn't always so logical. I keep thinking what right do I have to decide to end a life? I just hope Ali knows that my decision was based on my love for her.

Maxwell is having a hard time, too. He is eating normally, but he is sleeping ALL the time. I took him to the pet store last night and he picked out a new toy and some treats (he taste tested them from the bin first!) and for a little while he was his usual happy go lucky self. But, now he is back to sleeping constantly. I am trying to give him lots of extra attention and he is being very snuggly. I know he is grieving, too, but if he doesn't improve in a few days I'm going to take him to the vet just to make sure there is nothing else going on. He has always been so healthy and acts MUCH younger than he is, so it is hard to believe he will be 14 years old in August!

[doxiesrock912]

Mary Beth,

from the information that you've shared with us, I also believe that you made the best decision with Alivia's interest first. I've been where you are now and it SUCKS beyond belief. What I do know is that when it came time to make that decision, there were no alternate treatments or anything to ease the pain. It was time.

Does Max get along well with other dogs? It might help to bring him to dog parks or to visit friends who also have dogs so that he gets some non-human play time.
What about an adult dog training class? Something to keep you both busy.

[labblab]

Oh Mary Beth, my heart goes out to you, too. I am a frequent victim of the "What if's," myself, and know how much pain the self-doubts can bring. However, I'm hoping that with time, you may come to believe that *not* releasing Ali from her pain would have been just as much an intervention as peacefully sending her off. In nature, a sick and compromised animal would not survive and their death might be a cruel one. It is our tender care that allows the sick and the aged to continue on, far beyond the time they would have survived on their own in the wild. So that is actually an intervention too, in it's own right. For that reason, I do believe we owe it to our furbabies to weigh the good days and bad days, the pain and the comfort. When the scales have tipped too far, we have been granted the grace to trade one intervention for another. I do not believe you killed Alivia. My heart ached when I saw you had written that. I believe you stopped unnaturally prolonging her life that was no longer a pleasure or a comfort to her. Mother Nature held you both in her arms that day, because that is nature's way -- to usher out one soul so that the earth can support another who still has their life ahead.

During every moment of Ali's life, you held her in loving care. Including the moment of passage when her spirit was released. You granted her peace in that moment, and I hope you will soon be able to feel peace in your own heart, too.

Marianne

[molly muffin]

I sympathize with the should I, should I not have's that we all go through after making a decision like this. I don't think I got out of bed for days after my beloved golden retriever Tasha had to be let go. I'd had her since she was 6 weeks old, and it just isn't a bond that can let go of easily. Especially when you spend all those years from the time they enter your life till they live, caring for them, worrying over them, trying to give them the best life possible and then to have to make the decision to not do that any more. Well it seems to go so opposite of everything you have spent a life time doing for/with them.

Logic only gets you so far when the heart is involved. I'm convinced the heart isn't logic at all. It's pure, raw emotion, both good a bad, a blessing and a curse.

Sending lost of love your way. I agree Maxwell is grieving and Valeries idea of a dog park or some sort of regular interaction with other dogs might cheer him up a bit. It's hard on them too. :(

hugs,
Sharlene and Molly muffin

[Squirt's Mom]

I keep thinking what right do I have to decide to end a life? I just hope Ali knows that my decision was based on my love for her.

Aw, sweetie, you did not end her life; the ravages of time and ill health were in control of that, not you. It's not that we are granted the "right" to decide when it is time for them to end their suffering, it is a responsibility we bear, born out of our deep love for them.

Alivia relied on you for every aspect of her life - to that final breath, she relied on and trusted you completely. Because she knows, not knew, but knows you always did the right thing for her at the right time, including this most painful step. She knows what it cost you to find that awareness in her time of deepest need, she knows the toll it continues to take on you, she knows you took this indescribable pain into yourself so that her pain could be ended. She knows you made the ultimate sacrifice for her.

You did not end a life - you gave her a life free of pain, fear, and struggles. You gave her freedom from a failing vessel that could no longer sustain her. You gave her the greatest gift possible at the highest cost to your own Soul. She knows and she loves you all the more for this.

Hugs,
Leslie and the gang

[MBK]

Thank you ALL for the reassuring words. I would have done anything for Alivia. They say you will know when it is "time", and I did. Alivia was in tremendous pain her last two days and her quality of life was pretty much non-existent. She had stopped eating and had to be heavily medicated just to keep her pain level bearable. It was evident her bodily functions were shutting down. You could smell the toxins backing up in her body on her breath. I told her vet that I had hoped I would not have to make this decision and that she would have gone quietly in her sleep. He said, "Unfortunately, with kidney failure that rarely happens and it can be a long, slow, agonizing process." So, in my mind, I know the decision was right but in my heart I am having such a hard time processing it.

Marianne, your explanation makes a lot of sense and I appreciate your words more than I can say. Leslie, you explained it well – it does feel like I’ve taken an indescribable pain in. Sharlene and Valerie – thank you. And, Addy, you have always been a comfort.

It has been a week already. I keep playing the whole thing over and over in my mind. Even when I try to not think about it, something will remind me and the tears just come.

Dog parks right now are out of the question. It is winter in Pittsburgh and it has been a bad one. I am trying to spend extra time with Max and take him for car rides, which he loves. Overall this has been a really crappy winter…I had knee surgery in December. The surgery didn’t work and now I have to have my knee replaced as soon as I schedule it. Then even though I got a flu shot, I got the real flu anyway. They did a chest x-ray to check for pneumonia and, instead, they found a nodule in my lung. So, the afternoon that Ali died I had to have a CT scan. They think the lung thing is from the infection but can’t rule anything out, yet, and will repeat the CT scan in 3 months. They say when it rains, it pours. But, losing Ali has been by far the worst of it all.

[Harley PoMMom]

Oh my Mary Beth, I am so sorry that all these issues are hitting you at once. You are in my thoughts and prayers, and we will just think positive thoughts regarding the thing found in your lung.

Sending huge and loving hugs, Lori

[molly muffin]

Goodness, this is a lot to have to go through all at once. That flu this year was awful, my husband ended up with pneumonia from it, and it did a real job on his lungs. So, likely it is nothing more than from the infection, but always good to have things followed up on. Hope it's nothing.
Nothing will make things easier, other than a lot of time, even knowing it was the right thing to do, never made it the easy thing to do.

hugs and love
Sharlene and molly muffin

[doxiesrock912]

Oh my Mary Beth!
You certainly have a lot going on! Get through all of this by doing whatever is right for you and Max. He needs you too. xo

[MBK]

I miss Alivia with all of my being, but I am beginning to see things a bit more clearly (at least today). I am relieved that she is no longer in pain; that I no longer have to force medication into her, to keep her comfortable and get her through another day.

I am also seeing that Maxwell was often overshadowed by the extra care that Ali needed. In the last few months, her arthritis was too bad to take her anywhere where she would have to walk, so Maxwell became confined because of Ali's needs. Maxwell (who has his Canine Good Citizen certificate!) also underwent a personality change years ago and became very leery of strangers, especially men. He never bit anyone, but would have to be watched very closely with anyone he didn't know. I always attributed this change to moving into a new house, but it was also around the time Ali first became sick with IMHA. Now I am wondering if he knew Ali was not healthy and felt he needed to be protective of her? I took him to a pet store last night and he was making friends left and right - allowing strangers to pet him! I even turned around while I was checking out and a MALE employee was down on his knees loving on Max! Max was actually enjoying the attention!! It's been a LONG time since I have seen the happy go lucky personality that he has at home when out and about with strangers. I know he misses Alivia, but maybe now he can be "off duty" and relax.

Leslie, I read the beautiful post your wrote on Addy's string. And, that is exactly what this site does. Thank you ALL.

[molly muffin]

Oh precious Maxwell.

It does sound like he suddenly felt the need to be protective, probably of you and Ali. You are his girls after all and he is the guy who takes care. Now he doesn't need to and can relax and be himself again.

I feel quite bad for him, as that is a lot of pressure on a little guy. They do feel so responsible though. Maybe he knew more, sensed more than any of knew about Ali's health.

I am sure that Maxwell is really enjoy the trips to the store and making friends with people all over again. He is regaining his social life I guess.

Ali is pain free and maybe Maxwell is better now too. Your turn :) :)

Sending you love and hugs and I hope today is a good day for you and Max.
Sharlene and Molly Muffin

[addy]

Mary Beth, my heart breaks with yours and now to read of your illnesses is concerning to me.

Koko too has long been over shadowed by Zoe's illnesses and has been so confined to the bedroom these last weeks. I have been worried about the toll it was taking on him.

I hope Maxwell will continue to bloom as his job of protector can ease up a bit. It is good to hear that he is becoming a happy boy again.

I think they know. I wrote to myself a few weeks ago in a diary that I thought Koko knew Zoe was going to die. They know these things we dont want to see, I think.

Koko and I actually got to take a small walk today as the road was clear in front of our house and although it was cold the sun was out.

The four of us, you and Maxwell and me and Koko will heal together as Spring draws near dear friend.

loving hugs

[Tina]

Mary Beth,
I just want you to know how sorry I am to read about Alivia, and that I meant to post to you sooner. My heart aches now for both you and Addy. I just posted on her thread about when I lost my Angel Dakota a few years ago, and it was Jasper (my cushpup) and I who were left behind. He struggled so with her loss, and I really had to make sure that he was doing ok. I began to see subtle improvements in him as he adjusted and had more of my time and attention, but he really had a hard time of it. The vet ended up putting him on a low dose of antidepressant medication for a couple of months. I was not thrilled with that, but had to try something, and it really did help him get over the hump.

It sounds like your Maxwell is adjusting and coming out of his shell and enjoying himself more. It is so good to see that happening, and I hope he continues to get back to his happy go lucky self.

I'm sorry to read about your knee issue and illness. That is a lot to deal with along with your loss. I am hoping that the lung issue is nothing more than residual infection from the flu. I am sending positive thoughts.

I am thinking about you, Maxwell and Alivia today, and sending love and support.

Big hugs,
Tina and Jasper

[MBK]

Thank you, Tina. I appreciate the kind words and your concern for us. I am trying to remain positive and think that the lung issue is a side effect of the nasty flu. I have to get my blood re-checked this week because it also effected that!

Addy, you and I will miss our heart dogs forever. We did the best we could for them and would gladly do it all over again if we had to. I am certain Maxwell and Koko knew Zoe and Alivia were sick and patiently waited in the background for their turn. Their turn has come to be the main focus of attention - they deserve it. I think you are absolutely right, the 4 of us will heal together, while our two little angel dogs watch over. <3

Sending hugs right back at you, dear friend.

[doxiesrock912]

Mary Beth,

I never knew this until my father's lung specialist mentioned it, but even a bought with pneumonia can leave scars on your lungs. I'm hoping that this is the case with you and nothing more serious. If it is, please make sure that all of your doctors have the new xrays and test results so that you don't have a unnecessary scare later on. In a way, it's like you have a new normal that they need to be made aware of.

With the recent sadness on this forum lately, it's been hard to come here but the information that I've learned I swear has saved Daisy's life and I feel that I must repay this here and stand by through thick and thin.

Sending virtual hugs to you. I'm so glad that Max is perking up. Losing a member of your family is an adjustment for everyone, regardless of the number of legs that they have :)

[Trish]

Gosh Mary Beth, 2014 can only get better for you!! You poor thing, I am going to have bundle both you and Addy up and cart you both off for a bit of rest and relaxation at a spa in Bali or somewhere exotic for some serious pampering! If I had won Lotto on the weekend that would have been at the top of the list.

I hope your upcoming tests show everything is just the lasting effects of that nasty flu on your body and once you get your knee replaced you will be striding about with Maxwell on lovely walks by the summer. Sending you lots of hugs as you deal with all this xx

[MBK]

Today would have been Alivia's 16th birthday. I had hoped that we would get one more celebration together, but that was not to be. Instead, I picked her ashes up from the funeral home today. They also made beautiful paw imprints for me and gave me locks of her fur. My sweet little girl.

Happy Birthday, Alivia!
I hope you are pain-free at last and running around with your sister, Patches. Maybe you've even met Zoe by now. You took a piece of my heart with you and I'll love you forever sweet girl.

[molly muffin]

Happy Birthday Alivia

May your spirit run free

love
sharlene and molly muffin

[Harley PoMMom]

Happy Birthday, dear Alivia!

[addy]

Oh Alivia

I just know Zoe is throwing a huge party for you.

HAPPY, HAPPY BIRTHDAY

[Trish]

Awww Happy Birthday Alivia!!! May you be springing about at the rainbow bridge enjoying your special day and I hope your with Zoe and you're both pigging out on all the tasty treats you love! Hugs Mary Beth xx

[doxiesrock912]

I'm sure that as newbies on the block, Alivia and Zoe are the belles of the ball on the bridge fighting off the boys.

Happy Barkday Alivia!

Max, take care of mommy for us please.

Mary Beth, paw prints _ how sweet.

[MBK]

I am still in disbelief that Alivia is gone. I looked back at my very first post in April 2011, when Alivia was first diagnosed with adrenal tumor related Cushings. I was a mess and had no idea how I would proceed. Addy was the first person to welcome me here (followed soon after by MANY kind, caring, amazing people). So ironic that Zoe passed away just one week after Alivia. Both of them fought so hard and pulled through so many things. Two little, furry white fighters. Addy welcomed me here and Alivia returned the favor by welcoming Zoe at the bridge.

Anyway, looking back at the beginning and the decisions I made, I do feel like I did the best I could for Alivia. I chose not to have adrenal surgery on a small, elderly dog with other health issues and I think that was the right decision for Alivia. In my heart I felt she would not have survived that surgery and I still believe that. I also chose not to specifically treat the Cushing's and I believe that was also right for Ali. She had nearly three years of life after her diagnosis, and most of that was good. There were long periods of time when she had no Cushing's symptoms at all.

Alivia died just 10 days short of her 16th birthday. That was three years longer than both her mother and littermate - neither of whom had prior health issues.

I miss Alivia terribly, but her last couple days were not good. I am relieved that she is now free of pain and in peace. The inscription on her urn says, "Until we meet again at the Rainbow Bridge".

[addy]

Oh Mary Beth, I remember those early days and all the conversations of Dr. Peterson, to treat or not, all of it, both of us discussing our pups issues, back and forth. Right now to me, it seems so long ago.

I believe you always did the right thing for Ali and the fact that she lived for 16 years proves it. You have no second guessing to do though it is a natural part of grieving.

It gives me great comfort that Ali took Zoe under her wing now. Both of them with the most beautiful eyes, turning all the male pups heads.

Zoe lived just shy of 4 years after diagnosis even with all her other health issues. Her IMS kept reminding me of that in a gentle way.
So I remind you of Alivia and how living to 16 years old is no small feat especially with the quality of life Alivia had.

Pangs and waves, the website about grief called it. How grief comes in pangs and waves. It is the hardest part, the dang pangs and waves.

Give Maxwell a cuddle from Koko. Our boys will bring us through the loss of our girls, just like you said.

[molly muffin]

Sometimes it is good to review and see how hard you worked to give Alivia the best life possible. You know you did the best in your heart, but sometimes, it's nice to see the logic that walked side by side with the heart.

Alivia had a life Full of love and fun and adventures and nap times and cuddles, toys and warmth. All the wonderful things that come when a dog as a good life and is well loved.

hugs
Sharlene and Molly Muffin

[MBK]

Addy, you are right, it all seems to have begun FOREVER ago. So many tears since the beginning of it all. The grief does come at unexpected times.

I know that Alivia lived a good long life and could not have been loved any more than she was. Sharlene, you are so right that it is sometimes very hard to align the heart with the mind, but I am hopeful in time it will happen.

Maxwell is being such an angel and is definitely a huge comfort. He has always been a bit of a mamma's boy and loves to snuggle up close to me. He does seem to be sleeping more than usual still. He is going to be 14 years old in August, but he has always been so active and healthy that I tend to forget he is a senior dog, too. He and Ali used to sleep in their beds in the entry way while I was at work. Now he goes upstairs and sleeps in my bed during the day. Apparently he only slept downstairs to be near Ali because the steps had become hard for her to go up and down much. He was being protective of her, I think. Max is getting the extra attention now that he has always deserved.

We are supposed to be getting a huge snowstorm. They are saying between 6 and 12 inches tomorrow evening. I am planning on spending the entire weekend (and possibly Monday, too!) at home, relaxing....at least in between cleaning up and doing some laundry! I think I may have to have a glass or two of ChocoVine, too! Anyone want to join me? ;)

[MBK]

Leslie, I want to thank you again for this: "It's not that we are granted the "right" to decide when it is time for them to end their suffering, it is a responsibility we bear, born out of our deep love for them." That has helped more than I can begin to tell you.

[molly muffin]

Chocovino sounds like just the thing for a cold windy night.

As soon as we get back from the movies. "Wolf of Wallstreet" this evening.
Molly is in charge. Hope the house is still standing when we get back. Party girl that she is. :):)

hugs,
Sharlene and Molly muffin

[addy]

I'm up for some Chocovino, MB. Koko is a mama's boy as well. He and Maxwell can "I want Mama" to their heart's content.:)

A toast Mary Beth, to good times and bad times, past and future, joy and laughter, heartache and tears. We have had it all dear friend.

Hugs and love to you,

chinck, chinck:):)

[doxiesrock912]

Mary Beth,
Max may be sleeping more due to being depressed that Alivia is gone.
I'm so glad that you're helping each other through this.

[goldengirl88]

Mary Beth:
I too think Max is grieving over Alicia and is depressed. I am sure the amount of time they lived together with you has impacted Max. I am so sorry you are going thru this. Every time I read about someone's baby passing, it reminds me of Tipper's mortality and what this will do to me. My heart goes out to you and Max. Blessings
Patti

[MBK]

Maxwell has never been an "only" dog. Alivia was 2 years old when I got Max and she spoiled him rotten. She cleaned his ears every day and let him have whatever he wanted, even food she was eating! She was always very patient with him and if you didn't know any better, you would have though Max was the alpha. But, if he really pushed his luck and she lost her patience, one little snarl from Alivia would put Max right in his place. So, I know this is very hard on him, too. He is getting lots of extra snuggles and attention to help him (and me) get through the loss of Alivia.

Patti, there were times when Alivia had absolutely no symptoms of Cushing's. During those times, I had to back away from here and just forget about the disease and enjoy her just being a "normal" dog, without being reminded of her mortality. I also didn't want the disease to define Alivia and it never did. Cushing's may have contributed a little to Ali's death, but at age 16, it was not the cause.

We are in the midst of a snowstorm here. We've gotten about 4 inches so far today and it is still coming down. They are predicting 4" to 12" through tomorrow. At this point, I am hoping for the 12", so I have an excuse to stay home tomorrow and hang out with Max! :D

[MBK]

Addy,

Loved our virtual toast!!! It has been quite a ride, dear friend!

Sending hugs and love right back to you.

[goldengirl88]

Mary Beth:
I know how you are feeling and know the weight of your heart. I am glad you got to enjoy your sweet baby for 16 years, that is an accomplishment, and testament to your care and love. For once my home town will get more snow maybe than where I am now!! Hope you get to stay home and play hooky Blessings
Patti

[Harley PoMMom]

We are in the midst of a snowstorm here. We've gotten about 4 inches so far today and it is still coming down. They are predicting 4" to 12" through tomorrow. At this point, I am hoping for the 12", so I have an excuse to stay home tomorrow and hang out with Max! :D

York, PA is supposed to get that snow storm too, so far we have had only rain...I am so tired of shoveling!!!! :mad::eek: Come on Spring!!!

Hugs, Lori

[MBK]

The Way I Feel

They say there is a reason,
They say time will heal,
But, neither time nor reason,
Will change the way I feel.
No one knows the heartache,
That lies behind my smile,
No one knows how many times,
I have broken down and cried.
I want to tell you something,
So there won't be any doubt,
You're so wonderful to think of,
But, so hard to be without.

-Author Unknown

[goldengirl88]

Mary Beth:
So very true and so very sad. You have 16 years of love invested in your baby. They say you never get over something like this, you just learn to live with it. I wish I had the magic wand to take all your pain away. I can imagine how heavy your heart is. I am praying for you and sweet Alivia. Blessings
Patti

[molly muffin]

Sending you hugs!
Sharlene and molly muffin

[Trish]

Ohhh I want to join in the "clink clink" and chocovino... (if I knew what that was) think I have asked before.. chocolate wine maybe which actually sounds a bit ick :)

That's a lovely poem, hope your day is going ok today xx

[MBK]

Trish, you are absolutely welcome to join in on the "ChocoVine" toast (Sharlene, Lori and Patti, too)! ChocoVine is Chocolate wine and I thought the same as you...that it does not sound good. You have to try it! It is delicious!!! Like dessert in a glass...that warms you up. :p

I do feel the way that poem says...okay moments and bad moments. She was a huge part of my life for nearly 16 years. It still feels very surreal that she is gone. I haven't been able to put her bed and things away, yet. Just today I finally opened the envelope with the paperwork from the pet funeral home that cremated her. There was a beautiful letter, a copy of the Rainbow Bridge poem and a form to fill out to have her obituary published on their website.

I am so grateful for Maxwell and that he is in good health.

[addy]

I loved the poem Mary Beth, it is so fitting and true. I am happy you have Maxwell, thank God, you have Maxwell, actually because I know right now you both need each other so.


I think I know the day you must have had yesterday. It is the day I am having now.:(:(:( There is a pain in our hearts that goes on and on.

I'm thinking we may need a whole lot of Chocovino:):):):)



love you

[apollo6]

Beautifully said for us all. Thinking of you
Hugs Sonja and Angel Apollo

[goldengirl88]

Mary Beth:
Thank God for Maxwell. He could never replace your precious Alicia, but he is there to lessen the anguish you are feeling. There is no doubt, and science has proven it, that animals grieve too. I will be in your shoes one day, so I know how hard not must be carrying on with your life. Blessings
Patti

[goldengirl88]

Mary Beth:
I just wanted to let you know I was thinking of you and hoping you are doing well. Blessings
Patti

[addy]

Dear Mary Beth and Maxwell,

Thinking of you both and hope the weather is good for you to enjoy the weekend.

Koko says woof to Maxwell. I send love and hugs.

[Trish]

Hi Mary Beth

Popping in to see how you are doing and to find out what cocktail is on the menu for this weekend!! I looked in our supermarket and no sign of chocovine here in NZ! Hope your have got through the week ok and Maxwell is giving you lots of loving, big hugs to you all xxxx

[MBK]

I'm really missing Alivia. The grief seems to come in waves....sometimes unexpectedly. Sometimes I can't help it and I picture her last moments. As hard as that is to remember, I don't want to forget anything about Alivia. It still all seems surreal, except that she is not by my feet.

What I never realized before was how much Max followed Ali's lead. Max is younger and so never lived without Alivia before. He does not ask for ANYTHING. Nothing. Ali would go to the door and bark to go out when she had to potty and Max would go with her. Ali would paw at their water bowls if they were empty or if they were the least bit dirty. She was fanatical about having perfectly clean water at all times. ;) She would insist that it be refilled with clean water if there was even a crumb in the bowl and would bark to get my attention if she had to. Now I have to remember to check Max's water bowls to make sure he has clean, fresh water. I have to remember to let him out at regular times or his little bladder would probably burst. It is strange that he doesn't ask for anything at all. The sweet little guy is so incredibly LOW maintenance. He is being really good and so extremely cuddly. I can't even imagine how much harder this would be without him. But, he is still sleeping a lot and I wonder if that is his way of dealing with grief or if his age is beginning to show (he will be 14 in August).

[molly muffin]

Hi Mary Beth,

I'm sure it is hard for Max too but at 14, that is 14 years that Alivia took care of him. She made sure he went out because she did, she made sure his water bowl was filled. He never Had to ask, I doubt that he knows how. Alivia just took care of him, so I am positive that he is missing her a great deal and not sure what this new world without her is really all about.

I'm glad he is a cuddler though, that is exactly what you need right now. A little body that says mom I'm here, take care of me, I don't know what to do, so just love me and be there for me.

It makes me cry to think of the changes that Alivia's passing has brought to both of your life and the hole that she left.

Sending you lots and lots of love
Sharlene

[addy]

We have the same thing, Koko always followed Zoe and he does not ask for things either. It is so quiet in our house. Since I have been taking Koko on short walks and playing hide and seek and puzzle he has perked up a bit. He just holds his toy hot dog in his mouth all the time like it is a pacifier. He too is low maintenance.

Mary Beth, our girls were so larger than life, it leaves such a emptiness. I hope they are having fun playing together. They are probably trying to decide which one of them is in charge:):):)


Ilove you

[MBK]

You are so right, Sharlene.

Addy, I never realized how much the dynamics between Zoe and Koko and Alivia and Maxwell were so similar! I hope at the bridge Ali and Zoe do not have to decide who gets to be boss! ;)

Addy, I was reading your post about how some people don't get it. I will share the conversation with my boss that took place on the Monday morning, immediately after Ali had died on Friday. I was at my desk working. Not crying or being disruptive in any way. Just not my usual happy self for obvious reasons.

My boss came in that morning and walked by my desk and said "How are you?"
Me: "Not too good."
Him: "Why?"
Me: "Because my dog died on Friday" (which he already knew)
Him: "Well, she was old. Not like my dog, who is 7 years old and in the prime of her life and is dying from cancer" (his dog is 11, not that it matters)
Me: "Would you like your dog any less if she were older?"
Him: "Well, your dog was old. Old dogs die and you have another one."
Me: "They are not interchangeable"
Him: "Well, the last thing I need around here is a mope a dope. If you are going to mope, go home."

I wanted to slap him. I have worked with him for NINE years! No empathy whatsoever. There was no need for any of it, either. If he could not manage a simple "I'm sorry.", he should have just walked by and said NOTHING. His comments were cruel and I can honestly say, I lost all respect for him as a human being in those few minutes.

[molly muffin]

Oh my god, Mary Beth!! What a horrible thing to have your boss do to you. What the H%# is wrong with people!! I'm shocked at such insensitivity by some people. Especially a boss who should know better than to treat his staff like crap. grrrrrr I'm furious on your behalf and just want to walk in there and tell him off.
People can really suck and be mean when they want to.
You just go right ahead and grief and do your thing. They will have to adapt to not having a constant cheerful Mary Beth and if they don't like it, too bad. Haven't seen cheerful attitude while suffering personal loss of life written into any contract yet.

grrrrrrrrr
love
Sharlene and molly muffin

[Tina]

Oh Mary Beth, what your boss said and did is absolutely despicable. How uncaring! And you are right, so unnecessary. He should have just walked away and said nothing. Even if you had been crying at your desk, it was uncalled for.

I know there have been times during Jasper's illness where I have been less than my usual cheerful self at work, and I have noticed that it is not very well received. At all. That is very discouraging, and I feel that I have to keep up a front a lot of times, which is very draining.

I feel sorry for his poor dog. In my mind, people like him don't deserve to have a dog.

Big hugs,
Tina and Jasper xo

[addy]

That is just darn right out and out mean and disrespectful of your boss, Mary Beth and I am so sorry you had to experience it.:(:(

I know we will get through it all some how. Big hugs to you and Maxwell, Koko says woof to Maxwell. Is Maxwell eating ok? Since Zoe is not here at meal time to get all happy and excited, Koko could care less about it.

Alivia and Zoe- the girls probably decided they will take turns being boss:):);) ha, I can just see and hear them taking turns " woof, hey it is my turn, "Arf, no today is my day";):D:D:D:D

Tina- I know exactly what you mean. If we are just quiet and doing our job, why is it a negative?

Big Hugs

[MBK]

It was even more awful than what I posted. I was shocked at how cruel he was being. It was like a knife through my heart that he just kept turning and he wouldn't shut up. I kept thinking to myself please just stop it, just stop. The next day he attempted to be super nice to me (in general, not about Ali), as if he may have realized how mean he had been, but he never apologized. He is going through some professional issues...had recently been fired as CEO and will only remain on as a consultant. So, I will no longer be his assistant and have gone back to the Legal Department and now have a new boss. None of that justifies how mean he was, though. Like I said, he should have just said NOTHING.

Sharlene, I was so shocked at the words coming out of his mouth and you are not the only one that was angry on my behalf!

Tina, even weirder is he is an animal lover and has taken off work to go to vet appointments with his wife for both his cat and dog. He just has no empathy for others.

Addy, Max is still eating but not with the "gusto" he had. I had a couple friends over last night and they commented on how different Max was being. They said he seemed very reserved and like he lost his "spark". He is definitely grieving. I am giving him extra attention and taking him for car rides more. He perks up for a bit, but then goes back to being a little "off".

Thank goodness my FRIENDS and family have been very kind and understanding during this time. They all realize how important Alivia was to me.

[Squirt's Mom]

Nah, that jerk is not an animal lover. He is an arrogant, self-centered, toxic narcissistic A-hole. :mad::mad::mad: He expressed no concern over his own pup's situation but rather it sounds like he is POd because a dog of his dared to get sick. :mad: I'm glad you are not working under him any longer.

[MBK]

Leslie, you are probably exactly right and not the first person to call him narcisstic when I've told this story. My best friend tells me that I tend to let people off the hook too easily, making excuses for their behavior when there is no excuse other than your very accurate description of him. You are also absolutely right about what he said about his own dog (and that he did not even know how old she is!). It was kind of like he thought I got my money's worth out of Ali and he wasn't getting it out of his! When I had to take a vacation day because of Alivia being sick, I would never tell him that because of the attitude and remarks I would get. Over the years I have let a lot of things slide because really what choice did I really have?! Professionally, he treated me well and I got good reviews and great raises. But, I am very glad he is no longer my boss because I can no longer look at him through my rose colored glasses. I said on Addy's thread that there seemed to be 3 types of people when it comes to a loss like this, but my (ex) boss may be in a class all of his own!

[goldengirl88]

Mary Beth:
What a jerk that man is, I am glad you do not work under him anymore. Leslie had a spot on description of him. You should not have to put up with that after losing your dear baby. I know how you must feel and understand the continual heartbreak over Alivia she was with you for all those years, I give your credit even being able to go to work, as I probably couldn't. Blessings
Patti

[molly muffin]

I know that not everyone "gets it" about our furbabies, but they shouldn't impose their unfeeling opinions on those of us who do have warm and fuzzy's about our animals and consider them a part of our lives.
We have a girl in our office who has cats and those cats are her life. I always try to stop by her desk and ask how they are and see pictures. When my molly hurt her back, I sent a general email out to the office and said, I won't be in till it's better, working from home. I'm lucky that was an option for me, and not sure what I wold have done if it hadn't been.
Poor Max, I'm sure he Is grieving and feeling a bit lost over all. It's a different world for him too without her. All you can do is what you are already doing, give him that extra attention, take him places and let him interact with other people and dogs as much as possible to get his socializing in.
hugs
Sharlene and Molly muffin

[Harley PoMMom]

OH MY GOODNESS, that boss is sure a jerk!! :mad::eek::mad:

We are here for you Mary Beth and certainly understand how you feel, and remember you have every right to grieve, and as long as you need to.

Sending huge loving hugs, Lori

[doxiesrock912]

Mary Beth,
Fix his arrogant ass and report the incident to HR. I certainly would.
Hugs!

[Trish]

God, some people have rocks for brains. Unbelievable they think that it is OK to say stuff like that. Just ignore the ignorant shite, glad he is not your boss anymore. I can see why he was demoted! Big hugs for you Mary Beth x

[addy]

Hope you have a decent week, Mary Beth.

Sending hugs

[goldengirl88]

Mary Beth:
Hope you are having a better work week now that you are away from that jerk. I am hoping your Max is doing better. I am so sorry you are going thru this and having to go to work on top of it all. Blessings
Patti

[addy]

Just stopping to say love you and I still care.:):)

Hope you are having a better week if that is possible. Cuddles to Maxwell.

[MBK]

Thanks everyone.

When I had knee surgery in December I would lay on the couch with a heating pad and Alivia would snuggle up on it with me. If the heating pad was turned off and laying on the couch, Ali would lay on it. When she realized it was not as warm as it was supposed to be, she would stand up and dig on it, trying to turn it on. Then I would turn it on for her. She was a smart little one and had me trained very well. :p For some reason, the heating pad never worked after Ali passed. Weird. Even though my knee surgery was a complete failure, it was a blessing in disguise. I got to spend a lot more time snuggling with Ali those last few months than I would have if I'd been working.

I look at the tiny urn that contains Ali's ashes and still can't believe she is gone. I miss her so much. I have good hours and bad hours. I still cannot talk about her without crying. I guess after 16 years with her, it will take awhile to get used to not having her with me.

Maxwell is doing okay. Still reserved for him, but he is a great comfort to me. We are healing...slowly.

[molly muffin]

I am really glad you got that extra special time with Alivia while recuperating. Sofa snuggles are the best!
Nothing wrong with a few tears. I'd cry too. You miss your best friend.
hugs
Sharlene and Molly Muffin

[doxiesrock912]

Mary Beth,
don't feel guilty or afraid to lavish Max with love. I'm sure that Alivia wouldn't mind.

It's in our nature and theirs to love. Hugs.

[goldengirl88]

Mary Beth:
I just wanted you to know I am thinking of you and dear Max. I hope things are alright with both of you. I know your heart is broken and will be for a long time. Just try to get through it a day at a time, and love that boy Max. Blessings
Patti

[addy]

I dont know if we ever heal completely, as Marianne so beautifully wrote on my thread. Some days are easier than others and I know you are right about Koko and Maxwell. When Maxwell seems especially quiet, could you ask someone to visit him? When my daughter's cat almost died and was going through a difficult recovery, we would go visit him when he was having a bad day. So now she returns the favor and will come with our youngest granddaughter to visit Koko when he is having a sad day.

I am concerned about your knee and why you say the surgery was a failure. Bailey's mom Susan on Everything Else went throught 2 knee surgeries but maybe they were different than yours. I know the road to recovery was long and she went through a few physical therapists as one hurt her. She even walked with a walker for some time. I will ask her to come and visit you and maybe you can compare notes. It is like my arm, I was really upset that it has been three months with eight PT visits and I thought I would be further along but the surgeon said he thinks I am doing well:rolleyes::rolleyes::(:( I sure dont think I am. I still cant do certain movements without bad pain but apparently I am going to have to work through that pain even though the therapist said I should not do that.

My computer has been acting up so tech support deleted my spell check option. Sorry for all the errors.:o:o:o:o

It is Sunday. Oh well, back to the old grind tomorrow:(:(:(

[MBK]

Thanks for checking in everyone.

Yes, some days are better than others, I think for both Max and me. The snow has completely melted - finally! But, with that, my back yard needs a really good cleaning. Twice in the last three days, Max has come in very happy and very covered in poop! :eek: Of course the first time, was right before we were going to go to bed. Stayed up much later than planned to bathe him!! This is new for him and hopefully not going to be continuing!! I am wondering if he is finding Alivia's scent, as he seems very pleased with himself?! That is until his butt (and the rest of him) ends up in the laundry tub!

When Max seems especially sad, I try to take him for a car ride to the pet store. That usually perks him up for awhile. But, he definitely needs more exercise. My daughter said he is starting to look like a sausage! :o

Unfortunately, Addy, I am certain the knee surgery did not work. I've had follow up x-rays and the surgeon already told me. Years ago, I was a passenger in a car accident and injured my knee. I had multiple surgeries and was told eventually it would need replaced. Then I totaled my car a year ago and hurt the same knee. I went through injections, therapy, etc. and the surgery in December was to repair a torn meniscus and clean out the joint. The surgeon said it was much worse than he anticipated and in hindsight, he would have skipped that particular surgery as my knee is bone on bone and the only thing that will help with the pain and function is a full knee replacement. That will require 3-5 days in the hospital and then probably additional time in rehab because I live alone and my house is 3 stories (4 if you count the basement where the laundry room is!). I have been avoiding that mainly because of Alivia - I just couldn't leave her. Now I need to be sure Max is okay. I have a very good friend that Max loves so he might be able to go to her house or she may come stay here with him (she's done that before for me). He has never been in a kennel, so at his age, that is not even an option. I would also prefer to wait until the weather was nicer, but I am not sure how much longer I can put it off as the pain is getting REALLY bad. I am also not even sure they would do it right now until they determine what the nodule in my lung is. I see the ortho in about 2 weeks and have a follow up lung CT scan in May. I am falling apart. :(

2014 HAS to get better, right??? :rolleyes:

[Bailey's Mom]

......I am concerned about your knee and why you say the surgery was a failure. Bailey's mom Susan on Everything Else went throught 2 knee surgeries but maybe they were different than yours. I know the road to recovery was long and she went through a few physical therapists as one hurt her. She even walked with a walker for some time. I will ask her to come and visit you and maybe you can compare notes. .......
...and here I am!!!:D
I am sorry about Alivia. I haven't been following your thread, but I just read the most recent 5 or six pages. Take that former boss of yours and hit him over the head with a baseball bat. How incredibly insensitive. :mad: I had an incident similar to that where someone asked how old the dog was that had died and when I responded "17" he replied...."Oh, well, it was time."

I am the self proclaimed "knee expert." I have had two partial knee replacements, three full knee replacements and numerous arthroscopic surgeries. I started out bone on bone. I know knee pain. I know pt. I know good pt. I know bad pt. My right knee was done and has basically been a walk in the park (comparatively.) My left knee was done and was never "right" plus I had a bad fall a little over a year ago which twisted the prosthetic totally out of its placement so that it had to be redone completely, which turned out to kind of be a blessing. I know about needing to take pain medication long term and I know about getting off pain medication safely.

My status at the moment is pretty good. I need to improve my strength, which will be a lifelong project. The strong my leg muscles are, the better my knees can work. I can go up and down stairs with little problem. I basically have very little pain, I just have some crunching going on inside my left knee which I am told is scar tissue. Arthroscopic surgery might help alleviate some of that, but I am not going to go through that unless it becomes unbearable. It sounds worse than it hurts. Lifelong exercising of my legs is a permanent condition. I do still have some difficulty getting up out of a seated position.

I would be most happy to answer any questions you might have. I can tell you firmly that the longer you put off replacement, the more damage you are doing to what you have left in there. That means less of a success for your surgery. It also takes generally three months or more to schedule this surgery, there is such high demand for it. I know someone who is waiting for it and she can't even get on the wait list.....the wait list is booked out as far as the system will book, so she is on a cancellation list for now.:(

Let me know how I can help. I know the pain you must be in with this.
-Susan

[addy]

Thank you Susan:):):):)

See Mary Beth, Susan has been through it all so feel free to pick her brain if you need to:):):)

I thought it was so cute Maxwell liked being a "stinker".

hugs and more hugs

[MBK]

Thanks, Susan! You have been through a whole lot...especially considering you only have two legs!! I will private message you some questions, so as not to bore everyone else with knee issues!

Addy, I did not think it was at all "cute" that Max wanted to be a little stinker!! Especially when I was in my PJs and ready for bed. :D I took him to the pet store today. He got his nails clipped, which he hates, but then he had fun shopping. I weighed him on the scale there and he is 26 pounds! He has his winter weight on and is big boned for a JRT, but that is his highest weight ever. He needs to lose a few! We took the (really) long way home because he loves to ride in the car. He is pooped out now....which is way better than having poop on! :D

[MBK]

Just checking in. I am still having good days and bad. In general, I am feeling a bit overwhelmed at the moment. My refrigerator died suddenly the other day. I had to throw out everything. Of course, I had just gone shopping and had a full freezer. I bought a tiny one to hold me over until I feel up to shopping for a new one. I just realized yesterday that my car inspection expired on January 31st. I was a little distracted around that time. Fortunately, I haven't gotten a ticket - yet. My knee is getting worse. I see my ortho next Thursday, so I guess the replacement surgery will be scheduled. Working full time and dealing with everything else, I just can't seem to get caught up with anything.

Max is being so good. But, it also seems like he has lost his spunk. I think he is still having a hard time with Ali gone.

[molly muffin]

Mary Beth, sounds like things have been overwhelming for you. Too much all at once and leaving you no time to just "be". Try to find a bit of that time for yourself during the day. Even an hour for you and max can make a difference.

Gosh that knee really is going to have to be taken care of it sounds like. :( Hope you can figure out a plan and schedule that works for you.

hugs
Sharlene and molly muffin

[addy]

I totally understand not being able to get everything done. I think it might take Max awhile to perk up. Koko is up and down too. Maybe of it ever gets nce out they will perk up much more and so will we.

Sorry to hear about the knee surgery, that is a lot to handle Mary Beth. You sure do need a break from things going wrong.

I am sending BIG HUGS and tons of love to you and Maxwell.

[Squirt's Mom]

Good grief, we're a rickety bunch ain't we?! :p Seems like several of us have fallen and sustained damage plus those of you who are simply falling apart with no external aid whatsoever. :p:p:p (notice how adeptly I removed myself from the latter group! :D) I hope the surgery does the trick this time and the knee heals correctly so you are dancing again not long after.

[goldengirl88]

Mary Beth:
You have so many issues going on at the same time. I am sorry about your knee. You have certainly been through a lot, and I pray things get on the mend for you. I am hoping sweet Max is taking the reigns and becoming the little man of the house. It's a weird time in Pittsburgh when the Pirates are doing better than the Steelers. Blessings
Patti

[MBK]

Just stopped in to say hello.

Alivia is on my mind a lot. It has been two months since she passed away and it still seems surreal. I miss her gentle soul so much. Max still is not himself. Obviously, things will never be the same for either of us and we are still adjusting to life without our sweet Alivia.

My knee replacement surgery is scheduled. They wanted to do it the beginning of May, but I was not mentally ready! My surgeon goes on vacation for several weeks in June, so I didn't want to do it until he was back in case of complications (which I seem to have a lot of!). The surgery is set for June 26th, which would have been my mother's birthday so hopefully that is a good omen. I still don't know what I will do with Max for the 3-5 days I am in the hospital. My daughter can't take him because my grandson is afraid of him (and Max is afraid of my grandson). They end up staring at each other constantly and you know that is not a good thing for a dog. Right now I cannot think of any good options. :( Nothing has been easy lately.

We had a beautiful weekend - yesterday it was in the 80's, but they are predicting 1-2 inches of snow tomorrow. This weather is CRAZY!

[goldengirl88]

Hi Mary Beth:
If my Tipper was nor sick I would!d drive down and watch your Max. I hope you can find a solution. I am sorry to hear Max is still depressed. You had Alivia for quite a long time, and it cannot be easy for you to go on. Blessings
Patti

[addy]

Mary Beth I am glad you scheduled your surgery. Cpould your daughter keep Mawell in a separate room, away from your grandson?

How about a pet sitter to come in the house? I know that is expensive but at least Maxwell will be in his home. Could Ali's vet know of someone?

It will all work out.
((((((((((((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))))))))) )))))))

[molly muffin]

So glad you got your surgery scheduled Mary Beth. You need to get that knee taken care of.
Oh dear, I know it is a worry with Maxwell. I hope you can find someone he can stay with while you are in hospital. :(

hugs
sharlene and molly muffin

[MBK]

Feeling very melancholy today. Too much to think about.

Maxwell will be 14 years old this August and has never been in a kennel, so that is not an option. A good friend who has watched them in the past, will be away on vacation. Another good friend was a possibility, but when I took Max over there last weekend, her recently rescued dog attacked him (no injuries) and was very territorial. I have a neighbor who will come in and out (she has 2 cats and a dog), but that would be very lonely for Maxwell...especially now that he is without Alivia. Seems like there are no good options. I wish he could come with me. I may have to look into pet sitters, but I really hate the idea of a stranger in my house all that time and with Maxwell.

[Harley PoMMom]

Wished I lived closer to you, I believe letting Maxwell stay at home is probably the best option, it might get a bit lonesome for him but I do believe when our dogs are up in age that being in a familiar place and surrounded by things that they are accustomed to is what can make them the most calm when we are away.

[goldengirl88]

MaryBeth:
How many days will you be gone? I have some friends back home and maybe I could get one to stay with Max. Where is you location, most of my friends are in the South Hills and South Side. They are trustworthy too. Let me know the date you are going. Blessings
Patti

[addy]

Mary Beth, what if your vet could suggest someone to stay at your house, would that make you more comfortable?
Otherwise, right before Zoe was diagnosed back on 2010, I found a kennel that had rooms, not cages and you could even get a TV in their room:rolleyes: The owner suggested for Zoe- to try one night in the middle of the week a few times to see how she did, then maybe bump it up to a weekend over the span of a few months.

I agree with Lori, Maxwell would probably do better at home but I mention the other as an emergency back up plan.

I am so sorry you are down and sad. I wished I lived closer so I could help you.

[MBK]

Thanks for the suggestions and concern. I really appreciate it. Patti, I am in the South Hills - Dormont to be exact. Small world. I think I might have a solution for Max! My niece who lives in Ohio, will be on summer break from college and MIGHT be able to come stay at my house!! She is a HUGE animal lover - especially dogs. That would be an almost ideal solution. Fingers crossed it works out!! I think it will be a huge relief when I get that worked out. I have already decided that there is no way I will put Maxwell in a kennel and will postpone the surgery if I have to. He is almost 14 and has never been in a kennel. He has never done well with change - even gets nervous if I rearrange furniture. :eek: Plus, with the loss of Ali, he has been through too much recently.

Besides all that, Max seems to be channeling some of Alivia's problems/behaviors all of a sudden. He seems to be completely deaf, which just recently occurred. He has been scratching himself a lot, too. Alivia had some allergy issues but Max never did. Max used to love all treats and now he is very selective - like Ali was! It is really strange! On the plus side, he has become much calmer with strangers (like Ali). I picked him up from the groomer's today - he had a different girl and she said he was a "perfect gentleman". Then we went to the pet store and the woman there who does the training classes commented on how well-behaved he is! He is still sleeping a lot and I really think he may be depressed. I actually have to make him get up in the morning, so that he will go outside before I leave for work. Sometimes I have to pick him up and carry him! He has an appointment to get checked out on Monday. It will be a tough day, because it will be the first time going back to the vet's office since Ali passed away. I still cry at unexpected times - I really miss Ali. Max has been such a huge comfort. Really don't know what I'd have done without him.

[goldengirl88]

Mary Beth. I know you neighborhood like the back of my hand. I sold many a home there, and like the neighborhood. Glad you have a plan in place, as that is a worry getting someone to watch your pets, I know first hand. I sure hope Max perks up, it would seem he is really grieving for Alivia. Blessings
Patti

[addy]

Oh MB I do hope your niece can come, it would solve everything. I dont blame you for thinking of postponing the surgery. You sure dont want any problems for Maxwell.

I have been noticing things too about Koko that remind me of Zoe and am freaking out a bit. Do you think we are just super worried and alert now? Like I noticed his hair seems to be turning whiter, he used to be a champagne kind of beigy color and then I noticed his hair around his privates looked pretty bald. I asked his groomer and she said I was right but maybe she was over zealous on his last sanitary trim. Then his coat near his butt seemed thinner to me.

Anyway, I can so relate to how you are feeling about Maxwell and I am so happy he is being a good boy when he is out and about. He IS a good boy:):):):)

Last I pictured Zoe in my mind, she and Ali were running aroung a pasture chasing Sonja's Apollo.:):):)

[MBK]

Very small world Patti. How long ago was it that you were in this area? I live right on Dormont Avenue in a big 100+ year old home on a double lot, with a driveway and garage - unusual for this area, as I am sure you know. Love it here, since I am close to everything, but four floors with stairs is pretty rough right now! Not to mention yard work...

Addy, I understand Sonja's Apollo was quite the ladies' man, so he is probably the one chasing after our girls! I am sure they are both being very proper! ;) Thanks for the smile! I sure hope we are being overly observant about some stuff. Except, I am positive Max is suddenly totally deaf. The mailman just came and opened the screen door to put the mail in. That used to cause Max to bark until he was absolutely sure he was at least 2 doors away and was not going to murder us. Max is not 10 feet away from the front door and didn't even notice. I don't have Cushing's worries with Max. He is having eye and ear issues and my fear for him is that he will end up blind, as well as deaf. I won't put Max through any added stress, so either someone I trust comes here or I don't go!! These senior dogs sure know how to make us worry! But, on the other hand, they are so worth it.

[molly muffin]

That would be great if your niece can stay with Maxwell. That would solve all the problems. If not a reshchedule until either your neice or your friends are back and take care of Max would work too.

Yowser 4 levels of stairs!

hugs
Sharlene and molly muffin

[goldengirl88]

Mary Beth:
Oh yes I am very familiar with Dormont Avenue. I lived in Upper St Clair for almost 30 years and in the South Hills my whole life. I may have passed you in Kuhn's or Eating Park sometime!!! It is a small world. I hope everything goes as planned for your operation, and hugs to dear Max. You are doing the right thing keeping him in his home. Gheez 4 flights of stairs, glad I never did an open house there I would be exhausted!! Blessings
Patti

[MBK]

Well, to clarify...one level is the basement where my laundry room is and although the third floor is finished and furnished, I rarely go up there! I don't know how long ago it was since you moved away Patti, but you may have been in my house....about 8 years ago my house was on the Dormont Library House Tour.

Still waiting to hear if my niece is willing to come to Pittsburgh for a few days. I also do not have a bathroom on my first floor so steps could be an issue....although my doctor says I can walk them as soon as I am released! :confused: My back up plan will be to find a local pet friendly hotel. This whole thing is complicated and STRESSFUL!! :eek:

[addy]

I know MB, I can only imagine the stress for you and I feel so badly you have to go through it right now.

Your house sounds beautiful. I love older homes, they have so much charm and character.

I have a brother in law and sister in law in Pittsburgh. Unfortunetly, we have not seen them since hubby's mom died. It is his older brother and he had a stroke and is pretty much an invalid for quite a few years now. I think they live on Wellseley wherever that is, I'm not sure.

Saying prayers your niece can come for Maxwell. When Zoe lost her hearing a few years back, I was shocked too as it seemed to be so sudden as well. But at least she stopped being afraid of thunder storms.:)

[goldengirl88]

Mary Beth:
Unfortunately I was gone from there by the time your house was on tour. I am hoping you are able to get your operation and have your niece come to watch Max. Hope it all works out and that you have a speedy recovery. Blessings
Patti

[MBK]

I took Max to see the vet on Monday. It was hard, as it was the first time there since Ali passed away. It didn't help matters any that we ended up in the exact same examine room. It was impossible not to tear up. Max was an angel. The vet thinks his itching is allergies (new for Max, but Ali had them!). He gave him an injection to settle things down and ear drops for 2 weeks. That has helped a lot and he seems MUCH more comfortable. He also thinks that his hearing loss is not surprising, given he will be 14 soon. He said it was probably not as sudden as I thought and thinks that I am noticing it more now that it seems to be completely gone. In hindsight, I think he is right and there were subtle indications that it was going for quite awhile. He said the changes in his behavior are also not unusual. He said he is missing Ali and trying to adjust to life without her and that changes were very common. His eyes are cloudy, but he said they looked okay. I have been putting moisturizing drops in them 3-4 times a day. Overall, he said he was doing really good for his age. :) Such a relief!!

Well, we are off for a ride in the car - Max's favorite thing - and a trip to the pet store. He loves going there and I try to take him as often as possible, since I am not able to walk a lot right now. We have 7 different pets stores we go to!

[goldengirl88]

MaryBeth:
Glad to hear Max is doing better. That sounds like my kind of day 7 pet stores what fun you two will have! Hope you are doing well. Blessings
Patti

[molly muffin]

Wow, you have 7 pet stores to choose from! awesome fun for Maxwell.

Any word on if your neice can come stay with Max or did you end up postponing your surgery?

Glad Ma got a good report form the vet and that the shot helped with his allergies. It really can make them miserable. :( My golden had terrible allergies, which is how she ended up on prednisone for so long. :( I'd never do that again if I had any other choice.

hugs
sharlene and molly muffin

[addy]

I think Maxwell had a good report and the vet's comments about his hearing are the same we were told about Zoe; that most of us think it is "sudden" but it was just the pup learning how to compensate as the hearing diminished. It makes sense.


I am so happy you and Maxwell go to pet stores, what fun:D:D:D:D:D We are taking Koko for more rides as well and now that he gets to be top dog and sit on mama's lap he is a happy camper. we take him to see my mom and he knows now that it is her building and how to find her room. So cute.

Oh MB, I hope you are doing ok but I suspect it is rather like me. Up and down and the downs are pretty bad - still. We are quite the pair actually, bum knee, bum arm and we both lost our girls that meant everything to us and they both had beautiful black rimmed eyes.

I imagine Alivia and Zoe are turning all the heads in heaven they were both so beautiful. Our girls:):):):)

Love you tons

[MBK]

Patti, not 7 in one day! :D We just vary which one (or 2) we go to.

Sharlene, I actually left a few out! There are at least 11 or 12 pet stores within a 15 minute radius of my house! We definitely have a good selection!

I feel better that Max got a good report from the vet. It is bizarre how soundly he sleeps, though. The other morning I tried to wake him so he could go out before I left for work. I started by gently shaking the bed, then shaking it harder, then petting him, then rubbing his ears....then I lifted his head and it flopped to the side like a wet noodle!! Fortunately, I could see him breathing but it was almost like he was unconscious! I was going to video it, but the flash from my camera FINALLY made him wake up!

Addy, you are exactly right. I am okay, but there are still a lot of downs. I cannot talk about Ali without crying and I still see those last moments over and over and over in my mind. I miss her terribly, but never could have let her suffer. We were fortunate to have our beautiful girls for the time we did.

I still have not gotten a definitive answer from my niece about watching Max when I am in the hospital. I have friends and family that are willing to stop in to take care of him. I may end up doing an elaborate schedule of home visits. Certainly not ideal, but it may be the best I can manage...and certainly better than a kennel (not even a consideration!).

[addy]

Mary Beth if we did not have Koko and Maxwell I don't know how we would have coped.


Is Maxwell sleeping so soundly because he cannot hear? You should video it, that is a good idea.:):):)

I know you will figure it out and lots of friends and families stopping by for Maxwell may work out just fine.:) I am crossing all fingers and toes.

Have a wonderful weekend

[molly muffin]

I was thinking the same thing, that Maxwell sleeps better and more deeply as he doesn't have as many external noises to bother him and he use to. They stay on a bit of alert when they hear other things going on.
Molly likes her sleep and some mornings, (in winter when it's dark out or rainy) she doesn't want to get up and I have to convince her but she will usually open an eye and look at me with that message of, yea, mum, I don't think so, it's not even light out yet. LOL Of course then there are the weekends when I want to sleep in (like today) and she is huffing and puffing around the room trying to get me up because she is ready to go. She only does the limp flop when she doesn't want to do something, like have her leash put on to go out side, or stand up to go to bed and rather be carried, then she is just a limp noodle. LOL

Anything that works would be good including an schedule of people in and out to take care of Max as needed. We will be doing something similar with our daughters cats while she is away this summer.

hugs,
Sharlene and molly muffin

[goldengirl88]

Mary Beth:
Oh Tipper would do 7 pets stores in the blink of an eye when she was well! I hope all works out with everyone watching Max. I know what you mean about the deep sleep as Tipper used to hear a pin drop in the nite. One nite I lifted her eyelid as she was not waking up and scared me, she never woke up. Sometime I shake her so hard I can't believe this is the same dog sleeping thru it! I am praying for you that all goes well. Blessings
Patti

[MBK]

I have not been here for awhile...sometimes it is just too hard. Plus, I have had a lot going on. I had a second CT scan and it showed the nodule was still in my lung. My sister died of lung cancer and was exactly my age when she was diagnosed, so I was a little (okay, a lot) freaked out. Saw the pulmonologist on Thursday and, long story short, it was all good news. He doesn't think there is anything to lose sleep over but will monitor it with another CT scan in 4 months. He also said on my first CT scan, that was done on the same day Ali died, I had viral pneumonia (in addition to the flu that was diagnosed by a nose swab!). I was so sick for Ali's last days. Taking care of her was physically such a struggle, but, it also gave me extra snuggle time with her. I still cannot talk (or write) about Ali without crying. I wonder if that will ever get any better.

More good news! My sister and brother-in-law are coming up from Virginia to stay with Maxwell, at my house, while I am in the hospital getting my knee replaced!! Maxwell ADORES them, so that is the best thing possible for him!! Peggy is taking off work and they will be here the day before my surgery! Turns out, all I had to do was ask (something I have a very hard time doing), and she unhesitatingly said they would come. :D Such a huge relief to know that Max will be well taken care of AND happy while I am away. In fact, he may not even miss me!! When they are here, Max will lay in front of the guest room door, anxiously waiting for my brother-in-law to get up. Max, has never really liked most men, but has always adored Jim, even though he only sees him about once a year, at most. In fact, we joke that Jim is Max's best buddy! Best possible solution EVER!! Except, now I guess I have to go through with the surgery....

[addy]

Good news all the way around, Mary Beth, yippee!!!!!!

Gosh, you must have been so worried about your lung. I am so relieved that it turned out not to be a worry.:)

I struggled too the last month of Zoe's life,trying to care for her. Every time I lifted her (which was a lot) the pain in my arm was so bad and I did not get much sleep. But I would take the pain all over again if I could have my girl back. I am struggling just like you and think it will never change.

I hope you have a restful Memorial Day weekend. Please come to tell us before your surgery so we know if you can. I know it will all go well for you Mary Beth.

So glad you asked. I have a hard time asking for help too.

Big hugs

[goldengirl88]

Mary Beth:
So sorry to hear of all the scares you have been thru. Thank God you are getting your brother in law to help while you are in the hospital . I truly hope everything works out for you and you can get back home and snuggle with Max. I am praying for you.
Patti

[Bailey's Mom]

Hi Mary Beth-
Someone I "know" just had knee surgery-12 days ago. She is already not using the walker and is doing very, very well. She went home after only two days-three used to be the norm. Surgery was sometime after 1 on a Wednesday and she went home that Friday. Quite often the anticipation can be way worse than the reality. I'll be thinking of you.
Susan

[MBK]

Thanks, Addy. I miss Alivia like crazy and I know Max does, too. I was so worried about putting him through any more stress. I was actually going to postpone the surgery! But, with my sister and his best buddy here, he will probably hardly even notice I am away! :p

Thank you, Patti! I appreciate any and all prayers. So far, they are working for me!

Susan, that is so GOOD to hear!!! My doctor said 3-5 days, but most likely 3. I do keep hearing good things about the way the surgery is done now. My surgery is on a Thursday and I am motivated to get back home to Maxwell, before my sister and brother-in-law have to leave on Sunday. Worst case scenario, it will be much easier to get friends to come in and take care of Max for 1 or 2 days instead of the entire time! I have my mind made up to be up and walking ASAP! I am going to kick this surgery's butt!!

You know the saying, "What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger"? I am on my way to becoming Superwoman!! :D Addy, I think you've earned a cape this year, too, along with at least several others. Maybe we can get them in bulk! :D

[molly muffin]

I am so glad that you have family coming to be with Maxwell. Now you won't have to worry about that and can just concentrate on getting better after the surgery. What a relief!! A definite bonus that it's Max's best BFF. :)

We understand that it is hard to come here and why. Don't worry about that. It is always good to see you though. :)

hugs
Sharlene and molly muffin

[MBK]

Some days and some moments are harder than others. Like today and right now. I, too, keep re-living that last day. It's been over 3 months and I still haven't been able to move Alivia's bed. It's still right beside Max's in the entryway...

[goldengirl88]

Mary Beth:
I have left things like that from my other pets that have passed. There is no rule saying that it can't stay there forever! I still keep a denim jacket of my dad's and I used to go to it to smell his cologne on it, it made me feel better. The scent is gone by now I am sure, but I still think I can smell my dad on it? I would never move the bed if it were me. I hope you are getting thru this the best you can. Blessings
Patti

[molly muffin]

Sending you big hugs Mary Beth.

Patti is right. There is no rule that something Has to be moved.

hugs
Sharlene and molly muffin

[Harley PoMMom]

Oh Mary Beth,

I am so happy to read that the nodule on your lung is not a serious matter, and I am also so happy that your sister and hubby are coming to your house to dogsit sweet Maxwell!!! YAAAAA!!! Good news all around!!!

Sending huge hugs, Lori

[addy]

Big hugs for both of us MB.

Love from our house to yours--- and I know everything will go well with your surgery and that Maxwell will be just fine.

[MBK]

Thanks, everyone. It has been 4 months today since Ali passed. Hard to believe. She was such a sweet, gentle soul. I miss her so much and I know Maxwell does, too. I was putting away the pink harness she always wore when we went out and Max went crazy trying to get to it, so I let him smell it. He sniffed it all over and then let out the most anguished howl. It was unlike ANY sound I have ever heard him make. A friend was here visiting and it brought both of us to tears. It was absolutely heart wrenching. No one can ever tell me dogs do not experience true emotions.

12 days till my surgery. I am looking forward to eventually being able to walk without pain....it has been so long.

Hope everyone is doing well. Special hugs to you, Addy.

[Trish]

Hi Mary Beth

Oh my gosh, that made my eyes prick just reading it. Poor Maxwell, so sad he is missing his buddy like that.

Best wishes for the upcoming surgery!! Hope your eating well and healthily so your body is well equipped to recover from this surgery!! Hopefully in a few weeks we read about your improved mobility!! GO YOU!! x

[molly muffin]

Oh my gosh, that brought tears to my eyes too. Poor little Maxwell. He must be awfully lonely and missing her something terrible. :( I'm glad you have each other to try and get through this time.

I hope you heal quickly from this surgery and can get around without any pain going forward!

hugs
sharlene and molly muffin

[goldengirl88]

MaryBeth:
I just balled my eyes out for your Maxwell. He is truly grieving away for sweet Alivia. I am saying a prayer for you so that you make it thru your surgery with flying colors! I was so distressed to see Chuck Noll died, he used to live 2 streets over from me. Very sad to hear he had alzheimers too. Take care and do well. Blessings
Patti

[addy]

MB, I felt so badly for Maxwell and for you. I dearly hope after your surgery is over and goes well, the two of you will have some bright spots in your lives. There has been so much stress for you both. Koko is up and down but not grieving to the degree Max is, as long as I keep him busy.

I also am glad to know the date of your surgery and will be thinking of you. I just know it will all be fine.:):):):):) I had been wondering about you all week and was so glad to see your post:):):):):)

I wish we lived closer, Mary Beth. I think we will miss our girls forever but our boys are pulling us through, Maxwell and Koko are just good, sweet dogs.

[doxiesrock912]

I would cry too!
Gracie seems to be handling Daisy's passing ok, but Annie is super clinging to me now. Poor thing. Animals definitely feel the loss too. No doubt.

[Bailey's Mom]

Hi Mary Beth-just wanted to stop in now and wish you well on your surgery. You are going to wonder why in the world you waited so long. :) I hope you are doing leg lifts to strengthen your muscles. The stronger you are going in, the faster you recover.

That's something about Maxwell. I think dogs have very long memories and do experience emotions. Monday, Bob took Bailey out back and while she was out I moved into a room I don't usually go into. She came back in and immediately started to hunt for me. She went to all the usual places. She ran upstairs, came back down, ran around on the first floor and then ran back upstairs a second time. She ran back down and went to the front door to look out. I finally made some noise and she came and found me. It was kind of funny, but it bothered me that she reacted in such a panicked way. If she sees me go out to go away, she is fine though, so I guess it's okay. Sometimes they seem like little people. I know the pain you are going through. It will get better.

Hugs,
Susan

[goldengirl88]

Mary Beth:
Wishing you luck and a speedy recovery. Hoping Max does just fine with your brother in law. I will say a prayer for you. Blessings
Patti

[MBK]

Thanks, everyone. Of course my week before surgery could not be without incident. I have a nickel allergy and guess what one of the metals in knee implants is? Yep. I had asked my surgeon what brand implant he uses (who does that??) and was reading their website and learned about the nickel and how you can have an allergic reaction to the knee! I was at the allergist's 3 times this week being patch tested for 23 metals. I had a "violent and spreading, 3+" reaction to nickel. Not sure exactly what this means except I had to get a prescription to clear up the itchy rash the test caused! So, my surgeon had to get a special nickel free implant and have it approved by the hospital and brought in by the knee implant rep. Actually, it is a MUCH better, newer product that lasts 30+ years. They should be using this one on everyone because the technology is so much better. But, of course, it also costs a whole lot more which I am sure is the reason they aren't!! I think that is sad. Anyway, the surgery will proceed on Thursday.

I think Alivia walked by me this morning. I was sitting at the dining room table and "heard" a dog walk past and go into the kitchen. Of course, I just assumed it was Max, but when I turned around to look Max was sound asleep in his bed. I really miss my little girl.

[addy]

WOW, who would have thought you could be allergic to the implant? Thank goodness you asked, Mary Beth. I am so sorry the allergy testing made you sick but thank goodness it is all straightened out now.

I know everything will be just fine. Surgery will be a breeze, recovery will go well and Maxwell will be fine and ready to give you lots of kisses and cuddles.:):):):):):)

Our boys help us so much, thank goodness we have them, Mary Beth. Koko was licking away my tears the other night and I bet Maxwell does the same for you.

I think Alivia and Zoe are watching out for us too. I have no doubt she came to visit you just as Zoe will come to visit me. They seem to show up when we need them most.

big hugs and if you can, let us know you are ok.

[MBK]

Thanks, Addy. Maybe Ali was just checking in on me and Max. I took Max to the groomer's at Petco yesterday. I could never take Ali there because, due to her having had IMHA, she could never be vaccinated. Anyway, the girls there absolutely loved him. They said he has so much personality and that he was so good for them. They even took pictures of him on their personal cell phones. He looks adorable. I will always miss my Alivia, but I am so thankful to have my Maxwell.

[goldengirl88]

MBK:
That is so sweet that Alivia came back to check on you before your surgery. I am allergic to nickel too, glad you posted that . I am praying for all to work out well. Blessings
Patti

[molly muffin]

Holy Cow! So glad you found out before they put the inplant in. Great that you're getting the new upgraded version as a result. :) Now just to get through it and onto recovery.

Awwww, Maxwell, is just precious. I am sure that Ali is watching out for both of you.

hugs
Sharlene and molly muffin

[goldengirl88]

Hi Mary Beth:
I am guessing you had your surgery? If you did I hope you are doing well, and I hope Max had fun with his sitter. Let me know how you are getting along, I will be back to Pgh. the 8th. Blessings
Patti

[addy]

Hi Mary Beth

I am hoping your surgery went well and that Maxwell is giving you sloppy dogs smooches all over your face- don't you love those?:):)

I know you have recovery time and all but I wanted you to know I am thinking of you and Maxwell if you stop in for a peek on your thread:D

[molly muffin]

Popping in to wish you well! Quick recoveries!

hugs
Sharlene and molly muffin

[Trish]

Hi Mary Beth

Stopping by to wish you a fast recovery!! Hope it all went well and your feeling a box of birds soon and back home with Max! xx

[goldengirl88]

Mary Beth:
Hope all is well and if you need anything let me know I would be glad to bring it to you when I come home on the 8th. Hope you and Max are snuggling and enjoying time together. blessings
Patti