Harry's inspiring journey

[H-man]

Hi folks,
Some of you are wondering how Harry is doing these days - he's been on this Cushings journey for 5 years now, and is almost 16 1/2 years old. These days his Cushings is the least of his problems. He lost his sight and hearing almost a year back and his body is pretty skinny these days. He has some sort of cancer, in his bowel or bladder, Im not sure. I havent had a barage of tests done because his grade 4 heart murmer means his risk of dying in anaesthetic is too high. I decided with his specialist that the results wouldnt change waht we were doing anyway. He has been my palliative care patient since July last year. That's when I would have put him to sleep if I was the same person I was 2 years back.

Now I believe animals have so much to teach us if we only have enough courage to let them. In those last 7 months he has taught me about unconditional love of others, him, and myself. He has stoically found his route around the house and still asserts his boss dog status by finding Izzy's bowl, finishing her leftovers and peeing in her bowl. He pees standing now, with one leg behind the other for stability. I put a pillow under him when he eats so his back legs dont do the splits and he finishes every last skerrick of food, twice a day, every day. He finds his way to the front doormat every afternoon and waits for his trip to the beach. This is where he does most of his teaching.

We go to the shallow water - i carry him as he only walks a few steps before wearing himself out. Izzy trots behind and when we get to the shallow sandbar, i put him on his belly and he is asleep seconds later. When his head falls it hits my foot and I hold his mouth and nose up above the water line. We stay like that until everyone has visited. Sometimes he stops breathing. When he gets up and takes a few paces or says hello to another dog, everyone notices and cheers him on. Kids on the beach are getting used to seeing this old dog slip away surrounded by so much love and in such a peaceful way. They comment on where he's going and Im sure he's prompted many discussions about death and loss in the families down there. Still he keeps going.

In the process of his dying I have cried many tears. In doing that I've grieved and processed the pain of my childhood and still am. He has taught me to feel again. It's cathartic to release so much buried emotion and his fur soaks up a lot of tears! I have learnt about myself.

This weekend is his last job I believe. I am going away for a night and my ex-husband is going to stay and look after him. Barry can't feel love and has built many walls around him in his life. Harry is going to have a go at putting some holes in them. i think he'll do a great job. It may not happen straight away, but sometime in the future he and many others will remember the strong, patient, determined and pure little dog that he was, and how he never ever stopped loving his life.

The gift he has brought in the 7 months since I would've put him to sleep has been one I wouldnt trade for anything. His pain is there without a doubt, but when I stroke him and lie with him it seems to go. It made me realise that it was me in pain, that I didn't beleive i had the courage to watch him slowly slip away. but I have. It is part of life, to die, and in dying we can learn the most profound lessons. He has been an extraordinary teacher when I learned how to listen to him. When my time comes, a long way in the future I hope, i will remember how his mission was my learning, not his dying. I hope I can teach others with the gentleness and strength that he has shown.

I just wanted to share with you all this amazing journey. We always knew he was special :)
Wendy

[frijole]

Wow. Gulp. Tears. So beautiful I'm going to read it again. Thank you. Give dear dear Harry a huge hug for me. Kim

[Casey's Mom]

Wendy thank you so much for sharing - we can all learn something from you and from Harry. Your story inspires me to listen and learn even more from my dogs.

What an amazing journey you have been on -

Love and hugs,

[Roxee's Dad]

Dear Wendy,

Thank you for sharing such a beautiful and inspiring story of yours and Harry's journey. Raises many emotions.

Give Harry another special hug from me.

[zoesmom]

Hi Wendy -

What a beautiful and touching 'tribute' to Harry. Kleenex, please. He has long been an inspiration to so many of us here. We luv you, H-Man. You are one special boy/teacher. Hugs. Sue

[lulusmom]

Wow, so much for the make up I just applied. I'm going to have a lump in my throat all day. Wendy, thank you so much for sharing your beautiful story about your beautiful boy.

[Squirt's Mom]

Dear Wendy,

You know my heart....

Again, thank you and many blessings to you both.

Hugs and ear scritches,
Leslie and the girls - always

[H-man]

We are so happy to be touching more people. If there is somewhere else to re-post and let Harry teach some more, please do..

They are so much wiser than we.

Love
Wendy & Harry xxxxx

[littleone1]

They do teach us alot.

[gpgscott]

They are so much wiser than we.

Love
Wendy & Harry xxxxx

What you said. Love back to you all. Scott

[jj68]

Wendy,

Thank you so much for sharing Harry's story. What a beautiful soul he is. Precious boy.

Jill

[Buffaloe]

Wendy,

It is wonderful to hear that Harry is still enjoying his life at almost 16 1/2 years old. He is a noble boy.

Ken

[John II]

Beautiful story Wendy,

It's one I'll have to remember as Angelina walks the same path, just a few paces behind.

Give Harry an ear-scratch for me.

[apollo6]

Dear Wendy
I cried when I read your beautiful story. My little Apollo is 12 and 1/2 and is fighting. And I will keep fighting with him for as long as he wants.
Hugs Sonja and Apollo

[SachiMom]

Wendy,

Thank you for sharing. You and Harry have given me a lesson in courage that I can only strive to achieve in life. Your journey together is an inspiration to all who have the fortune to share it.

I read your story yesterday, but couldn't post through my tears. Give the boy a special hug for me.

Luv & Hugs
~Mary Ann

[06beagles]

Wow, what a beautiful story. You really brought out some tears. You and Harry are so lucky to have each other. I have chosen to try and let my babies go on their own as well, so far we have lost 3 of them, they all passed away at home with me. I made sure to keep them as comfortable as possible and did hospice care (catheterizing, giving injections, pain meds, syringe feeding, helping them go potty). It is a difficult process to endure but I felt like I owed it to them, to love them right up until the end and let them go on their own terms.

I believe they all have so much to teach us, they are often so happy to continue enjoying their routines, even the smallest ones, until it is their time to go. They live in the moment. They adapt so well and can really amaze you with what they are capable of, even at the height of their illness. Your story illustrates what amazing things they can do for us all. Best wishes to you and your boy.

[mypuppy]

Wendy,
God Bless you and your precious Harry. And what I am
Learning and hoping each and every single day of my life with my Princess is that we all come back as animals in our next life because life would then be simple and perfect indeed. I appreciate your story, thank you. Tight hugs. jeanette

[Dollydog]

Oh Wendy....oh Harry....thank you for posting this part of Harry's journey...and think of us all when you're resting on the beach....
(((HUGS)))
Jo-Ann

[simon1]

Thank You for sharing Harry's journey with us and your journey as well. Tears welling up here as i can certainly relate.

[Dollydog]

Have posted twice due to intermittent service....and can't delete the second one....so just know that I'm really thinking of you three!!
(((HUGS)))
Jo-Ann

[H-man]

Well, i told Harry just now how many more he has touched and he had a big sigh. He had a night last weekend with his most difficult student. Barry walks dogs for a local rescue organisation and was mad at me for not putting Harry to sleep yet. After 1 night with him he has mellowed somewhat.
This week he has deteriorated quite a bit. I'm singing gospel songs to him - he seems to like it.

I know there's many here who have known and loved Harry through this journey, and many who he's a new friend to. However long it is, this little fella is like Ghandi to me. He leads with few doggie words, just his actions and strength and peaceful acceptance of all around him. His journey with me will be a little book one day I hope, so he keeps teaching as he wants.

Thank you all for your comments and allowing Harry to touch you.
Much love,
Wendy x

[Squirt's Mom]

In the Garden

I come to the garden alone
While the dew is still on the roses
And the voice I hear falling on my ear
The son of God discloses

And He walks with me
And He talks with me
And He tells me I am His own
And the joy we share as we tarry there
None other has ever known

He speaks and the sound of His voice
Is so sweet that the birds hush their singing
And the melody that He gave to me
Within my heart is ringing

And He walks with me
And He talks with me
And He tells me I am His own
And the joy we share as we tarry there
None other has ever known

And the joy we share as we tarry there
None other has ever known


My favorite hymn to share with our precious Harry.....

Many hugs and much love to you both,
Leslie and the girls - always


PS. Just in case you don't know the song...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UilrmC1M1s4

[H-man]

Thanks you so much Leslie, that's just beautiful and I shall practise it!

Little man keeps pottering on, still peeing in Izzy's bowl and sleeping the rest of the time. We so love our hugs.

Wendy xx

[Squirt's Mom]

(((((HUGS))))) for both of you.

[Franklin'sMum]

Hugs to you both.

Jane, Franklin and Angel Bailey xxx

[maish costello]

Harry....you are indeed an inspiration to us all.....

[Colt]

Wendy ... prayers and love to your Harry and to you as well ... beautiful prose from your heart to ours ♥ ... All our best, Colt & Luke

[ventilate]

Wendy;
Thank you for the up date on Harry. I am glad you are pleased with the decision that you made not to have Harry put to sleep, I am sure you wouldnt give back these last few months with him for anything, this time with him has been priceless, enjoy every minute of it. I wish I could have had more time with Nike and Kenai but they both took that decision out of my hands, sometimes I hate that, sometimes I am glad for it, they gave me gift. Many of us would not have been able to make the same decision that you did. That is such a personal decision and with so many possible variables, it is a very difficult one. I think we always wonder, no matter which we decide to do, if we did the right thing. I had a yorkie that was 18, my decision to have her put to sleep was out of respect and love for her, she was in pain and had lost her dignity, and it broke my heart to see her like that and I am sure broke her's as well. I felt it was the right thing for her although not necessarily the right thing for me. But as Sue once wrote, the release from pain was hers only when I chose to make the pain mine.
You are right in that they teach us something all the time, Im sure Harry will continue to teach as long as this journey for him lasts.
Please give Harry a special hug from us
Sharon and forever Nike and Kenai

[labblab]

Dear Wendy,

Although I have not posted to your thread before this, Harry has been on my mind often during these past couple of weeks (you know, he's become "our" dog, too! :o). I do worry about him, and wonder how he is doing. I so hope that he is not feeling much pain as his illness progresses. Is there medication that you are giving to help with that? That has always been the part that has especially worried me about my dogs -- how to know how much they may be hurting when they cannot talk and tell me directly.

As you've said, there are so many lessons to be learned from our connections with our beloved companions. And when they are ill or hurting, I think it is very true that it takes courage and patience to settle one's own heart and mind in order to find a way to peacefully support them and to be fully "present" with them during each moment that they remain in our loving care. This can be such a hard thing to do. But I also believe it takes equal courage to act on their behalf, including euthanasia, in order to save them from reaching the point where their pain will overtake them. There are times to be still, and there are times to act. To me, great courage is defined by saving our babies from suffering -- by whatever means is necessary, and no matter the price to ourselves.

I so hope that Harry is peaceful right now and not feeling more pain, so that the remaining time that you have together is a comfort to you both. Please give him some gentle pats and cuddles for me, and tell him that I think he is such a brave little soul.

Marianne

[Dollydog]

Hi Wendy....have been wondering too how Harry is doing....gentle pats and hugs from me too....
(((HUGS)))

[SasAndYunah]

When to let go of a beloved pet, is often said to be the hardest decission we have to make...and it's definately a very personal one. How strange it might seem, to me, it's a very sad decission because I have to say goodbye to my faithfull companion and most loyal friend, but it is not a hard one. And this previous sentence describes why I feel that way. If I make it about me, then it's sad or hard of unbearable or whatever word would applie but it is not about me. It's about my friend, and if it is the best and most loving thing I can do for my friend, I will do it, for my friend.

When you commit to having a pet in your life, it should be about them. Even when one is thinking of taking a pet, the decission should be based on them... "Am I able to give it what it needs, time to play, walks to snif and mark, interaction with other dogs, am I willing to devote the time and training necessary to teach it to be a secure and loving pet that can hold its own in all sorts of situations, do I have the time and energy to do all sorts of fun doggy things with it so it will be tired and fulfilled with his doggy life, do I have the money to spent on medical issues if needed, etc? And after we can answer these questions with a heartfelt yes, we dedicate our lives to them... And when they are old and/or sick, suffering from pain or other things, it still should be about them instead of about us. And that is why, how strange this may sound, I never find it hard or difficult to make that decission of setting them free. They gave me everything and more and who am I to deny them that one gift they need us for? I will cry my eyes out and hurt, go insane with the silence and all that after they are gone, but that's my due to pay for all the joy and happiness they brought me. And as far as I am concerned, all my pets deserved me grieving, crying and feeling miserable because they gave me their lifetime of joy. Well, just my view on this difficult subject...

Saskia and Yunah.

[Squirt's Mom]

Hi Wendy,

I just want you to know that my thoughts and prayers are with you and our sweet Harry always. This old gal walks with you both, in spirit and in love.

Hugs,
Leslie

[clydetheboosmom]

I am thinking of you, Wendy, and giving gentle hugs to Harry.

Lynne, Bailey and Angel Clyde