Apollo fought with grace and dignity to the end, My little angel warrior

[Altira]

Well.... I read every word of it and understood maybe half. I've had some impressive reports before but nothing as through as this. That's a great doctor, worth every penny you paid. I'd follow this persons every word in a heart beat... based on effort alone..... As for Apollo, my gosh could the poor guy have anything else? What a lucky fello to have you! I agree, take care of the mouth. Nothing else matters. It mentioned surgery. Was that to have the growth removed? I would jump right on that if it was me. We love you Apollo!

Not fair, not fair at all Sonja

[apollo6]

Apollo's saliva gland has been swollen and bleeding(it gets in the way when he eats)for months and the vet put him on Calamox antibiotic for 14 days.
The IMS quoted over $3,000. just to do a biopsy on the gland mass concerned could be cancer. And told that switching to Lysodern would not improve his legs and no guarantee skin issues(dermatitis and calcinosis) Also either forgot that Apollo is on weekly Advantage Multi for the mitts. His last blood test was taken 8 days off of Advantage and showed improved liver values.
So I have a lot to go over and it seems with the progression of this disease Apollo is dealing with more issues.
But one good thing,he is still very present, very opinionated, and tries to walk a little though it is quite a struggle.

As per the IMS I have increase the dosage to daily Trilostane, will get new blood test andACH stim on May 14. Will have vet look at silva gland and go from there as to medication, biopsy,etc.
Hugs Sonja and Apollo

[addy]

that was an amazing report, so thorough, I am impressed. Alot for you to digest.

love you,
adyy

[apollo6]

Apollo is eating well, bowl movements have improved, but still moaning in morning, skin,mitts have not improved, but starting to get some hair on the facial lesion. Legs are still the same ,still very bright eyed. Difficulty deciding if to go with Lysodern or stay with increasing Trilostane(have increased to daily 10mg versus two days on one day off)
Next blood panel,ACH stim, on May 15 , will see what results will be. Will have to address bleeding swollen salvia gland. Wish would see improvement.
One good thing:Apollo still tries to walk a few steps each day. It is what it is.
Don,t see much improvement on the Advantage Multi, and it may effect his liver , just seems the day I apply his bowl is a little softer and he moans a little the next morning. But I am supper sensitive about any little thing with Apollo. Was thinking about buying him another sweater. All I could think about will he be here to wear it, need to think positively not go there.
HUgs Sonja and Apollo
HOpe Zoe feels better, that goes for all of our Cushing babies.

[addy]

Sweetie, I thought the same thing about Zoe and her sweaters but decided not to go there too. I think our little man would look wonderful in some new duds:D:)

I read through the whole report from your internist. I will read through it again. I am not sure what to think.

Right now, all I can say is I love you and Apollo dearly, my sister in battle, my first friend.

Sending all my love and support,
addy

P.S. I bought Koko the golf sweater. We dont golf but I thought it was cute;);););)

[apollo6]

Love the sweater. I made Apollo a sleeveless tie shirt from a child's tie shirt, cut the front to leave room for his apparatus:eek:.
to cover up the skin liaisons . up the dosage to once a day instead of two days on,one day off,IMS said did not think upping Apollo's cortisol would help fight the mitts. Next ACH stim is May 15' will have to address the swollen salvia gland also.
IMS said APOLLO is one of the few with CUshing myopathy and that his legs will not get better. He and I have had to adapt.


Think 5.4 and post of 9.5 is to high for a Cushing baby. IMS said fell Cushing needs to be better controlled. after tests may up the dosage. Well one good thing, today Apollo and Zoe are still hear.
Happy Mother's Day and to the rest of us Happy canine Mother's Day!:D we deserve it.
Hugs from Sonja and Apollo

[apollo6]

Will be going for ACH stim test and blood panel Wednesday. Feel time to increase the dosage. Apollo now has more of skin conditions, the white dots(forgot what called) on his bellow now. It is such a roller coaster ,this illness. I hate it.:mad::mad:
Hugs Sonja and Apollo

[addy]

I'll be in the car with you. Good luck with the stim. Will be waiting for your posts.

Can you believe Zoe is on 40mgs? She goes next week for her recheck stim.

lots of love,
addy

[apollo6]

Just got back the latest ACH stim. I am baffled by it. Apollo's cortisol has dropped down a lot,now the vet says need to be careful doesn't become Addison.
Apollo sample one 1.1 range is 1.0 to 5.0. Didn't post pre (was 5.4 per than 9.5 post)
Second reading 2.3(low). Range 8. To 17.(was 4.09 than 8.58 post)
He is only on 10mg.once a day, for two years now?
I am only going to post the highs on his labs
AST(SGOT) 150 range 12-118 was 39 may refer to muscle wasting?
ALT(SGPT) 256 range 5-131 was 219. ( think liver problems because still on weekly Advantage PLUS
BUN/Creatino ratio 44 high range 4-27 was 45
Potassium 5.8 range 3.6 to 5.5. Was 6.
PHOsphoorus 4.9 range 2.5 to 6. Was 6.2 now in range? Kidneys
creatinine .5 range .5 to 1.6. Was .4 low
Na/k ratio 26 low. Range 27-38. Was 25. Electorally sodium
Platelet count 501 high range 170-400. Was 534 (gone down) reference to bones?
Did skin scraping- partial results yeast infection ( went on line to look at pictures-gross:eek:, but looks just like it with the pimples on his belly, etc) waiting for other lab on skin scraping for bacterial infection also . Vet recommends Zymox(with out hydrocortisone) ointment or spray .
Wondering if has intestinal yeast issues also,stomach gurgling still very pronounced.

Holding off on IMS after recommending $3000 biopsy and puting Apollo under anethesia , etc to take sample of swollen saliva gland) regular vet said swelling gone down but will likely always be a little inflamed and would not recommend surgery due to Apollo's weakening condition. Also said Apollo may have to be on biotics long term to fight recurring skin infections. Legs continue to get worse.
One good thing,Apollo is still very here,adapts to his inability to walk.
It is very draing at times. I don't think I will put Apollo through more procedures. All the blood tests,X-rays,etc., he has been such an angel going through all of this.
WE do the best that we can. It is what it is. Realish each day you stll have with your angles.
Hugs Sonja and Apollo

[addy]

Hi Sonja,

I dont understand why a post reading on Trilostane would have a normal of 8-17. Is that not for a non Cush dog not being treated?
I am not understanding this. I hope someone can stop by and tell us why the "range would be for a post of 8-17 and that 2.3 would be considered low.


Apollo sample one 1.1 range is 1.0 to 5.0. Didn't post pre (was 5.4 per than 9.5 post)
Second reading 2.3(low). Range 8. To 17.(was 4.09 than 8.58 post)



love,
addy

[StarDeb55]

Addy, you are correct. The normal range for a non-cushpup is 8-17. With a pup under treatment, the normal range is 1-5. Dechra does allow for the range to run a little higher than 5 as long as clinical symptoms are resolved.

Sonja, as far as i know, Apollo's numbers on his latest stim are ideal for a pup under treatment, they are not low. The normal range that you posted is for a normal, healthy pup.

Deb

[frijole]

Yes! 2.8 is a good thing. It is interesting that it went lower despite being on the same dose. Remember a few posts ago the IMS said that the cushings was not controlled at 5.8? Well you are now under that and in the desired range! This is a good thing.

When was the previous acth done? (the one with the 5.8 reading)

I'd skip the surgery too... it's a quality of life thing and right now the best you can do is just continue to give Apollo lots of love. I understand leg issues - that is what happened to my Annie.

Anyway - just wanted to let you know the test results are good and not bad. Obviously the cumulative affect is taking place and you want to keep it where you are and above a 1.0 - anything below that is addisonian.

Kim

[apollo6]

Thank you all for your input.
Don't know if I could have gone this far without your love,input and support.
Hugs Sonja and Apollo

[mypuppy]

Dearest Sonja,

I'm thinking of you and your little boy always. My heart and prayers go out to both of you.

We love you both.

xo Jeanette and cousin Princess

[apollo6]

Just got the skin lab report back. they found three bacterial on his skin lesians:Escherichia coli, coagulate positive staphylococcus app.,coagulate negative Staphylococccus app., conclusion staphylococcus pseudontermedius.
So now Apollo is on Trilostane 10mg. daily
Soloxine 1mg daily for thyroid
Advantage plus for mites weekly(strangely applied last night,this morning he throw up yellow bile and had a watery stool? Wonder if correlation)
Zymox without hydcortisonre for skin yeast infection.
Now Vet wants to put Apollo on antibiotic for bacteria
,fungal skin infection also thinks could have intestinal bacterial/yeast infection -address both.
but because of his high liver enzymes I need to be cautious.
these are the Meds:Zeniquin(marbofloxacin) says caution for pets with liver or kidney disease.25mg. 21tablets
Metronidazole(Flagl) may cause liver disease? 250mlg. 10 tablets
Another possible one is Baytril(enrofloxacin)
So,which will do the list harm?
Apollo's legs are weaker,muscle wasting legs,head,skin lesians,stomach gurgling,but he is still here and gets angry if we leave him alone,wants to be with us all ways.
One good thing: Today after exercising Apollo's legs, he walked all the way from the bedroom,into the hall, then the kitchen and I helped him go through the doggie door to go to the bathroom.
LIke Julia for Hannah,it is tiring, but the tail wags, determined to try,enjoys his food and treats makes it worth it. I owe him after everything he is going through.
the crazy Cushing Mom just ordered a little wading pool for Apollo to water exercise (My Mom suggested it)
Am I crazy?
Hugs Sonja and Apollo

[addy]

Metronidazole(Flagl) may cause liver disease? 250mlg. 10 tablets

It can cause liver problems long term so those values have to be checked. It can also cause neurological problems. Zoe has problems at the higher doses when taken for more than a few weeks. When I cut back the dose, she did much better. She started at 250 mgs, 125mgs BID. It really helped her but her colitis/IBD was so bad then she would have runny, watery poos in the house, it would just come out, she could not hold it. She takes 62 mgs once a day now and I continue to try to get her off it but something always comes up.;););)

I LOVE that you make our little guy clothes out of baby stuff. I know what you mean about people staring, they stare at Zoe too.

I am also glad you got a pool for Apollo. I don't think you are crazy at all

[MBK]

Sonja -

It is awesome to hear that Apollo's numbers are in such a good range!! Sorry, that he is still having the leg issue and the skin problems, though. Alivia has been scratching at her rear and has it red and furless. She currently has a UTI so her IMS prescribed Clavamox twice a day for 2 weeks and said it may also help with the skin issue (I hope so!). The Clavamox also lists the liver warning, so maybe it is a common thing with antibiotics?

Apollo is such an amazing little fighter. I think it is WONDERFUL that you got him a pool to try water exercises. Alivia once was limping off and on and we didn't know why. The orthopedic doctor suggested physical therapy twice a week - it included walking on an underwater treadmill. She had therapy for one month and never limped since. So, the water therapy just may help Apollo and certainly will not hurt! I hope he enjoys it. You are so lucky to have each other. It is awesome that you mom is so supportive of you both, too.

[Casey's Mom]

You are not crazy - anything for our pups. :):):) Casey loved her wading pool and I plan to use it this summer for my little ones.

[apollo6]

Dear Addy,Zoe,Kudo,MArybeth,Alivia,Ellen,Angel Casey,DEsi,and Oreo,can't forget our fur balls, thank you for your input.
Apollo seems to have three major issues as this disease progresses: Cushing myopathy,liver issues,intestional ongoing-loose stools,stomach gurgling ,over heating, getting winded easily, and the skin infections, oh and also the thyroid issues.
I have to take him out to go to the bathroom because he can no longer do it himself. If I forget,he has an accident, so will be putting a male wrap on him. Between his issues and my turning 60:eek: in August, we are quite a pare of senior citizens. but I think and act young when I can, like Rhanna, lady Goga,etc. As they say, I can still
grove(boy am I dated):D
As for upset stomach told to give 10 mg of Pepcid, 1/2 tablet daily, also for the loose stools using STAnd Process Cholacol to get more solid stool, and also Carafate for stomach issues, and colostrum(pro symbiotic) for immune and antibotic help.

I feel like my kitchen is turning into pharmacy.
I will see how it goes with the wading pool. Apollo hates getting baths,so this should be very interesting.:cool:
LOVE you all.
need to fly up to Reno,nv to go over the house contents and decision on the business. I will ask if Apollo can handle the flight( being under the sit) . I worry he will overheat and have difficulty breathing. We used to do a lot of flights when he was healthy,but things have changed, and with all his issues, I can not leave him with a friend.
Hugs Sonja and Apollo

[apollo6]

Today go to dermatologist about Apollo's skin infections. Feel very nervous. Now he is dealing with mitts(may still not be controlled) yeast,fungal and bacterial infections with all this. I have been picking trying to squeeze the stuff out,fear I made it worse. yesterday diarreha, today better stools. At times feel so overwhelmed. But then Apollo will amaze me and say, Mom I am still here fighting. I try to relish each day as a gift with him. need your prayers. I just don't know how many more medications he can handle. Waiting for the antibiotics to come-Zeniquin and Metronidazole. Each can cause either liver or kidney problems. I worry if I am doing the right thing. He will be on one 10 days, the other 21 days. I know with cushings ,the immune system is too weak to fight.
Hugs Sonja and Apollo
Will the dermatologist and another medication to this coktail mix?

[StarDeb55]

Sonja, I strongly suggest you speak with the derm vet about trying to drain the infected areas on Apollo's skin yourself. I'm very concerned that you may simply be spreading the infection to areas that are healthy.

Debbie

[apollo6]

Dear Debbie
You are right. The dermatologist wants to do surgery on Apollo to remove the skin infections from his back( this 11inches by 14 inches) and face right by his mouth. Feel removing the infected skin may be the only option to atop from spreading. Saying there is risk of complications, infections, pain from tightness of pulling on skin ,and the anthesia(isoflurane) also Ketamine/Valium induction. Iam so torrent as what to do.
Every time I have gone to a specialist ,including the last one, I am always presented with a $1000. to $3,000 procedure,test or surgery.
I declined 2-3 in the last 2 years,and Apollo is still here. Both my other vets are against surgery because of Apollo's Cushing and other issues.
So here I am once again. I will try the antibiotics first, stop picking on him. Please be after me to do so. I am praying the antibiotics will help. Surgery is the last option.
On the brighter side, the dermatologist said Apollo is very alert, happy, and cute dispite the skin liaisons (they look gross).
Any input would be appreciated.
Hugs Sonja and Apollo

[Squirt's Mom]

Tie bright red strings around the tips of your fingers so that when you go to pick, you will see them and remember to stop! :p On a more somber note, not only may you be making Apollo worse, you may be infecting yourself. ;)

I cannot imagine the horror of contemplating surgical removal of so much skin! :eek: Do they want to remove whole sections of the skin or the patches around the sores? Would they do skin grafts? If so, where would the grafts come from? If the surgery worked, how many meds could be eliminated? What happens as the infection spreads if he doesn't have the surgery? Which option gives him the better chance at quality time? Is he in pain from the sores? Will he be in pain as it progresses? So much to consider - I know this is tough. :( Have you thought about a second opinion with another derm doc?

Keep in touch and let us know how Apollo is doing and what you decide.

Hugs,
Leslie and the gang

[lulusmom]

Dear Debbie
You are right. The dermatologist wants to do surgery on Apollo to remove the skin infections from his back( this 11inches by 14 inches) and face right by his mouth. Feel removing the infected skin may be the only option to atop from spreading. Saying there is risk of complications, infections, pain from tightness of pulling on skin ,and the anthesia(isoflurane) also Ketamine/Valium induction. Iam so torrent as what to do.
Every time I have gone to a specialist ,including the last one, I am always presented with a $1000. to $3,000 procedure,test or surgery.
I declined 2-3 in the last 2 years,and Apollo is still here. Both my other vets are against surgery because of Apollo's Cushing and other issues.
So here I am once again. I will try the antibiotics first, stop picking on him. Please be after me to do so. I am praying the antibiotics will help. Surgery is the last option.
On the brighter side, the dermatologist said Apollo is very alert, happy, and cute dispite the skin liaisons (they look gross).
Any input would be appreciated.
Hugs Sonja and Apollo

Hi Sonja,

I am so sorry that poor little Apollo continues to have complications. Did the derm vet think that antibiotics would resolve his skin issues or is she strongly recommending surgery? I would think that the derm vet would have the experience with cushing's to determine whether Apollo could tolerate surgery or not. I hate to be a downer on your two vets but I'm still of the belief that had they done a good job long ago of controlling Apollo's cushing's, a lot of his problems would never have existed. I have shed so many tears for your precious boy these past two years because he's been through so much. Because he's here doesn't mean that he couldn't have had a much better quality of life these past two years had his cushing's been dealt with properly from the beginning.

As to the cost of specialists, I feel your pain but I spent a whole lot more on multiple visits to an ignorant gp vet for two years prior to getting Lulu to a specialist. I could have easily paid for the IMS office visits, battery of diagnostics and several months worth of medications with the wasted money I paid the gp vet. :mad::mad::mad: Lulu was diagnosed seven years ago and is still the spoiled little hellion I fell for over 10 years ago. She is a happy go lucky girl, who for being so tiny, is a big pain in my behind. :D

Please keep us posted on Apollo's skin problems. We'll be interested and most definitely praying that the antibiotics resolve the infections.

Glynda

[apollo6]

Thank you Leslie and Glynda
I just started the antibotics today. Will give it 10 days to see if any improvement.
The surgery would be to cut the skin out and stitch it in 3 layers ? Remove the skin. Will keep you posted. Still contemplating specialist. As far as medications ,maybe stopping the advantage Multi.

One good thing: Apollo walked all the way from the bedroom,into hallway,then into kitchen by himself to go to bathroom. Had accident in kitchen, but all I can see is this little trooper trying to go outside. So all I could do was say good boy,clean up the mess and give him a big hug. He is still trying. I get very overwhelmed with all the input from vets. I always question of I am doing the right thing.
Like Cindy, it has become more difficult, Apollo falls a lot, needs help with going to the bathroom,moans at night,has difficulty chewing, but he has such a love for life. So I will do the best for him until he let's me know it is time. I came to this site in 2010. Apollo has been fighting for 2.5 years.
Hugs Sonja and Apollo

[jmac]

Hi Sonja,

Just stopping in to check on people. I hope the antibiotics will help your little guy. Keep us posted. You're in my thoughts...

Julie & Hannah

[marie adams]

Hi Sonja,

I remember when you came to this site--it was about the same time as Maddie and I. Apollo is like the energizer bunny - he just keeps on going. :)

I hope the antibiotics help--the surgery sounds a little scary to me, but I am not there to know exactly everything going on. And you know Apollo the best.

Take care!!! (((HUGS)))

[Cyn719]

Sonja

Ditto to what Marie said...the energizer bunny for sure:)....yup I know exactly how it is... So sad to see them fall ....but they really are troopers who love each day....they keep going and going...can apollo stand? Penny on,y stands a few seconds and out of no where she started to lean to one side and walks like she's 100....like three weeks ago she just had a really bad limp....we got the brace now this...I pray for a babies every night and know we are doing all we can for them.....kisses to Apollo for us......

Hugs xoxoxo. Cindy and Penny

[Steph n' Ella]

One person derm said to me...when ever you think about picking, put some healing ointment on instead. Is there an antibacterial ointment or wash you could get from the vet that you could use on Apollo? That way it would feel like you are helping him instead of picking. Oh and cut your finger nails!

[lulusmom]

Oh and cut your finger nails!

Really? There are cushparents with fingernails? I thought everyone here is a fingernail biter like me. They were the first things to go when my dogs were diagnosed and then the hair was the second to go. :D:o:D

[apollo6]

Thank you Julia and Hannah,Maria,Angel Maddie, and Miss Ella, Cindy and Penny, Steph, and Ella, and GLynda and Lula,
You made me laugh,cry all at the same time.
Today we go for an outing in Apollo's red fire engine stroller, his blue USA cap and his sleeveless yellow tie shirt(muscle man ,just can't find the muscles)
Will give the antibotics a few weeks to see if improvement. The surgery is a very major one so I don't know if it is far to put Apollo through this.
Love you all.
HUgs Sonja and Apollo

[addy]

Appollo will turn heads as he always has, sweetie, I hope you both enjoy your outing!!!!!!

I pray the antibiotics work for our little guy. Sonja, I think A Sonja Super Sunday Special coffee drink will help you as well!!!!

[lulusmom]

Hi Sonja,

I hope you took some pictures of Apollo in his USA cap and muscle shirt. Would love to see them.

[apollo6]

Will make picture of Apollo in his tie Shirt and cap .
my thoughts are with Cindy and Penny with this difficult decison .
Wish I could say things are better .
this disease has taken it's toll on both Apollo on me.
Apollo can hardly walk,stand,the skin infections,the muscle wasting, I have to be with him almost all time, I hardly sleep listening for every moan or sound he makes.
At the end of each day, I say, I am blessed that he is still here. But I am losing a little more of my sweet Apollo. He does so enjoy when I take me out in his stroller. Now that would be quite a picture.:p
I meant Apollo in his stroller.
Now I am dealing with my computer having problems again. I could use a break.
Hugs Sonja and Apollo

[addy]

Hi Sonja,

Every warrior needs a break, sweetie. Even for a day.

Love you bunches

[Squirt's Mom]

Apollo and you are never far from my thoughts, Sonja. Enjoy those moments to their fullest when things are good, and know you are not alone either.

Hugs,
Leslie and the gang

[Sugar]

Thank you Julia and Hannah,Maria,Angel Maddie, and Miss Ella, Cindy and Penny, Steph, and Ella, and GLynda and Lula,
You made me laugh,cry all at the same time.
Today we go for an outing in Apollo's red fire engine stroller, his blue USA cap and his sleeveless yellow tie shirt(muscle man ,just can't find the muscles)
Will give the antibotics a few weeks to see if improvement. The surgery is a very major one so I don't know if it is far to put Apollo through this.
Love you all.
HUgs Sonja and Apollo

Hi Sonja and Apollo
So happy to hear that you have a lovely stroller to go out and enjoy some happy walks together. I too had a stroller for my Sugar and we spent many joyful times together strolling throughout the neighbour hood regardless of the weather. Sugar loved being in it and would glance side to side as we went along our merry way. They truly are a blessing. It was the best purchase I ever made.
Love Jean

[apollo6]

Thank you all for your posts. My thoughts are with Cindy and Penny. I have been crying for the last two days for some reason. I did post the picture of Apollo in his hat and tie shirt. He can no longer walk, I don't know if Apollo will be able to fight the skin infections, so I cover him with tie shirt to hide the large one on his back. This disease has taken a heavy toll on my little boy as so many. Wish I could say things were great. Apollo is still fighting , just for today. I go to the vet on Tuesday to do a recheck on the antibotics if to continue. It breaks my heart at times. He has lost so much muscle in the legs, face. You do the best you can.
Hugs Sonja and Apollo

[Altira]

Cindy emailed me yesterday, I posted in her thread. I wish we knew about Penny too. And Apollo... geez. How old is he now? I dred the day Kira can't walk anymore. But what can you do? I looked at some video's I took of her a year ago and was shocked at how much worse she is now. You just don't realize it when in happens so slowly.

Oh please do get that picture in the stroller... We need a smile! :o

[jmac]

Hi Sonja,

So sorry to hear you don't have better news to report on Apollo. It really is hard to see them go downhill and feel helpless that we can't do anything to change it. I have been struggling with that myself lately, and spending a lot of time worrying about Hannah because I can tell that her hind leg weakness is getting worse. We can only do so much though, most importantly love them and keep them happy while they're still happy. I'm glad you and Apollo enjoyed a walk in his stroller.

Julie & Hannah

[addy]

sending you love and hugs sweetie.

[apollo6]

Went to vet,not good outcome. Says doesn't see improvement on skin or stomach gurgling after being on antibiotics for 20 days.. Says not sure to continue Advantage PLus if nothing has gotten better. If Apollo were healthy would suggest surgery to take mass of his back and side of face. But because of the Cushing and weaken immune system fears Apollo may not survive the anthesia or could wind up with an open wound of he can not heal after surgery. Said maybe 3-4 months to live just not sure. I am aching inside. Wait two weeks to see if mitts and skin infection worsen or see of all chemicals out of system and his body tries on own to fight. Will restart antibiotics than. Said I have done everything right by Apollo going to specialists, etc.
If the surgery would give Apollo three more years would do, but mitts could still come back after surgery.If I would be at peace doing the surgery knowing he may die during procedure, said no. I feel like everyone is giving up. All I hear is we will make Apollo as comfortable as can be and he wil
Let me know when it is time. SWitching to Lysodern this late doesn't seem fair to him. He will be 14 in October .
My heart is hurting so much.
Hugs Apollo and Apollo
One Good Thing:on Sunday , we must of had 5 People make Apollo's picture in his red stroller wearing his hat. I did post the picture. At the vets, a lady kept looking at Apollo,saying he had such soulful,beautiful eyes

[Squirt's Mom]

Dear Sonja,

My heart is breaking along with yours. Our little warrior has given his best and continues to fight with all his heart against unbelievable odds.

I do wish you would try the Lyso, tho. At this point, why not? It is clear the Trilo isn't working for him as well as it could have and the Lyso just might, might, give him the break he so desperately needs. But at the same time, I understand your reluctance.

My thoughts and prayers remain with you both. Apollo and you are always named in the mornings when I light my candle.

Hugs,
Leslie and the gang

[Altira]

It's the words we fear the most. The ones we must all face. The worst days of our lives. We are here for you of course. Beside you. This too will come to pass. I am so sorry. Now is the time too remember all the good memories. To tell them to us and to Apollo. And smile because you have them.

[apollo6]

Thank you both, I just don't know if I should even consider the Lysodern

Your post really helps. Apollo was also on the metronzial(forgot spelling) hard to spell half the stuff they are on. My other one, Karma,same age is as health as an ox. I go back to the vet on July 17 for a recheck on the skin infections, probably restart the antibiotics. The weakened immune system,Apollo tires more easily, can not walk, needs to be taken out to pee and his bowel movements are hit or miss. the physical therapist says he is declining, his knees lock up now,his stomach still gurgles. I am giving a combo of Honest Kitchen and every other day some raw. I started giving him canned WEruva human grade dog food. it is rated 4 stars out of four stars and he likes it. He doesn't like the rice that much. He has a hard time chewing also. it is so hard to watch. I feel so helpless.
Hugs Sonja and Apollo
LIke you said we have had them two years.

[lauraperla]

Sonja, I am so sorry you are going through all this.
We switched Saoirse at the end of March, after a 2 year roller coaster on Vetoryl. She already had other complications and I had a feeling we were on a short term prognosis by then. She had further complications and ended up only being on
Lyso for 3 months before she passed.
However I am confident that the switch to Lysodren gave her a better quality of life in those last months, it managed her Cushings relatively well although in the last few weeks I lowered her dose and kept away from the vets to lower her stress levels.
Tough times for you, my heart is with you.
Laura x

[addy]

Sweet Sonja,

I would think the doctor, the IMS, perhaps could best answer that question for you. I do remember that you were so concerned Apollo would not tolerate the medicine for the mites but you gave it to him as directed. Any he did not tolerate it. So you were right and in your heart, you knew.

Only you and your IMS can answer that question after some thoughtful discussion.

I'm sorry sweetie, but maybe go back over your posts here after you saw the IMS and try to remember what he said then about switching and then maybe a phone consultation. Little Apollo has so many issues, I dont think it is as cut and dried as "why not". Just my opinion:):):)

[Sugar]

I would like to offer a suggestion that you could try for feeding Appollo that I found worked really well for my Sugar and that was to give her a saucer of plain Boost or Ensure. She loved it and would lap it up as fast as her poor little tongue could work.

[Sugar]

Just thought of another food you might try for upset stomach, yogurt, a really good one, organic no fillers, mixed with some canned salmon, no salt. Sugar loved this and she could pick it up fairly easy considering she has lost the use of her tongue. She would dip it into the mixure and it would stick to her tongue. It would take her a long time to eat and a lot would get on her but she never gave up trying.

[apollo6]

Thank you all for your posts.
has any one heard from cindy?
I am going to vet in a week for a recheck.
Friday was
Apollo's last physical therapy. The therapist said Apollo was having more difficulty walking and didn't think she could help anymore anD just to make him comfortable. I sat in the car and just cried holding Apollo. I will get another ACHT stim test . But I am very fearful of his decline.
Hugs Sonja and Apollo
One good thing: We went to ocean on Sunday, Apollo wore his red USA cap in his red stroller and people came up to make picture of him.He enjoyed it very much.
I am giving Apollo yogurt already.

[Altira]

Oh damn it all, It sure sounded like a crewel way to end therapy. They didn't suggest prednisone or something?

I haven't heard from Cindy. Maybe we could pester Jeanette...

[addy]

I understand sweet, dear friend, we all do though we all dont know the pain you are in, we only know the pain we might feel.

Dont think about it today. Today, enjoy him. Be happy with him for he knows your sadness.

I love you dearest friend.

[jmac]

Sonja,

Sorry to hear Apollo is not doing very well. Addy is right. We can all imagine how we would be feeling in the same situation. It is so hard to watch them decline when we are doing everything we can for them.

But remember, he knows how much you love him. Try to take a break from the sadness and just enjoy your time with him. It sounds like he is still happy and enjoys his time with people.

Thinking of you and your little guy...

Julie & Hannah

[Bailey's Mom]

HI Sonja-and my deepest apologies. Somehow you fell off my "radar screen."

I am so sorry to learn of Apollo's decline. I am sure you DID sit in the car and cry. And it probably continued on the way home and after you got home. They just burrow themselves into our hearts deeper and deeper. When they get sick, we try our best to make them well. Sometimes we just can't. I think they know we have tried. I know they don't want to leave us and I know they do not want us to remember only the sickness......but to remember all those fun and crazy times.

I admire you for your strength.

-Susan

[molly muffin]

Hugs Sonja

[MBK]

Sonja -

I have not been here very often recently and just caught up on Apollo. I am so sorry that he is not doing well. My heart is breaking for you. You have been an amazing mom to him and he knows how much he is loved and that you would do anything for him. Continue to follow your heart and you won't go wrong no matter what you decide. I'm glad you were able to take him to the beach and have some quality time to enjoy his company. I am going to go look for that picture just as soon as I post this!

You and your little guy are in my thoughts and prayers.

[Squirt's Mom]

Mornin' Sonja,

Just popping in to see how things are going and to let you know Apollo and you are in my thoughts and prayers daily. Cherish each moment you can, sweetie, and know you are never alone.

Hugs,
Leslie and the gang

[Sugar]

Just checking in and wondering how is Apollo doing?

[apollo6]

I thank you all for your posts.
I am going for a massage for Apollo next week, his legs are becoming very stiff.
The following week , I have asked for another ACHT Stim, and what I can do for my little boy. I keep hearing just make him comfortable. It tears my heart apart.
I have read a little about cold laser therapy to help with muscle atrophy. But the therapist says Apollo is to far a long and it may not help. I am desperate. And time is very precious with Apollo right now. I notice a change in his eating, harder to chew. But then he shows me once again what a trooper he is. I know this disease will shorten his life but it is hard to face.
Hugs Sonja and Apollo

[Sugar]

You are not going through this alone, we are all praying for you both in your journey of love. Hug Apollo every second you get a chance to.

[molly muffin]

what about water therapy, where he does the paddle motions in the water to keep the joints loosened up?

Don't forget a massage for you too Sonja!! This thing with out beloved ones is so stressful, helps to not forget oneself in all of this.

[apollo6]

Thank you all for your caring.
I did get a massage last week. I could not believe how tight my muscles are from the stress.
Got Apollo's ACHT STIM back more baffled than ever.
Here are my notes.
Acht stim results: sample 1 1.6 range 1. to 5. last reading was 1.1
Sample 2: 2.0(WAS 2.3 ) low range should be 8-17
1. Trilostane controls hormones effects skin and muscle
2. Could try twice a day on ½ in morning ½ in afternoon
3. Give the Advantage multi daily and the Zeniquin 25mg. daily for one month and see if skin improves
4. May stop the Trilostane for a week to see if any difference?
5. Notify vet in month on skin.
6. What do I do about the muscle wasting?
7. What do I do about the skin/mites/fungal/bacterial infection with a weakened immune system?
He is still okay on the Trilostane? He is only on 10mg. for two years now. His stools have been solid. Worry about starting the Advantage multi again effect on his intestinal issues and stools. Yet most dogs I read have increased their dosages?
I am baffled? I just don't know if switching to Lysodren at this stage would do any good.
Hugs Sonja and Apollo

[StarDeb55]

Sample 2: 2.0(WAS 2.3 ) low range should be 8-17

Sonia, this range on the post sample is not correct. This is the range for a normal, healthy pup not being treated for cushing's. The range for a pup under treatment is 1-5 for both the pre & post. Dechra states that Trilo pups can run a little higher than 5, as long as clinical symptoms have resolved. Basically, these number look pretty good, but let's see what some of the trilo parents have to say.

Debbie

[molly muffin]

So basically Trilo causes muscle and skin problems in dogs that might not have had it before? That is not good to hear. :(

I can't comment on the numbers as I'm not up on that yet.

Hopefully some of the more knowledgeable ones here will know what they mean.

Sharlene

[Squirt's Mom]

Molly - No, Trilo does not typically cause skin and muscle problems like Apollo has. It may be that he is one of those pups that Trilo doesn't work as well on as it does others and as such these other problems may have come up - MAY have. Trilo can cause trembling in some pups but that is plainly stated in the info from Dechra but Apollo has a rare condition in which his muscles are atrophying. This rare condition is associated with Cushing's, NOT the drugs used to treat it, tho. ;)

[lulusmom]

Hi Sonja,

Have you talked to the internal medicine specialist about possible reasons for the non resolution of the mites and improvement in muscle weakness, despite pre and post cortisol being within therapeutic range? Has he suggested testing to see if perhaps Apollo may need to be on twice daily dosing or perhaps just trying BID to make sure Apollo's cortisol is being controlled around the clock?

[Roxee's Dad]

Looking back at our experiences, with Roxee being left untreated for so long. The muscle wasting and stiffness in the rear legs appeared before I ever started Roxee on Trilo treatment. So I have to say that Trilo didn't cause her problems but also didn't visibly help her hind leg stiffness and weakness. In our case it may have been too late to overcome the damage already caused by cushings. Our vet can only guess without an MRI that the tumor may have become macro or may have been growing and pressing / affecting her nervous system.

This is why I am so interested in Sharlene's and her vet's discussion about starting a preemptive treatment even without the typical symptoms.

Although I haven't posted much, I am reading and keeping you and Apollo in my thoughts and prayers.

[addy]

I think I am in the same boat as John was. Zoe started the muscle wasting in the back legs and stiffness prior to Trilostane and her legs continue to get worse, not improve, so I assume the Trilostane just does not seem to help it. The only thing that ever helped her was when I was able to work at it consistently, walk one day on, one day off, increase activity a bit at a time.

It does seem that we see the complaint quite a bit with Trilostane though. I think someone even asked David Bruyette about it when I read through that question and answer thread a long time ago.

Sonja, each dog is so different- it is so hard to know what is going on with our Cush pups sometimes.

[mypuppy]

Hi Sonja,

Sorry for all of Apollos issues still. I do feel for him and you. Ugh. As Addy pointed out, all dogs are different, and that's the hard part. As Addy and John I feel right now I'm in the same boat with my Princess. A lot of muscle wasting, stiffness, limping and she has been off Vetoryl for 2 months. I don't know whether to restart now or wait for full blown symptoms? Will the Vetoryl help or make worse?

This is really all so hard on us and our babies.

I wish your boy some good health soon.

Luv and tight hugs always.

Xo Jeanette

[molly muffin]

That is very good news. I was just freaking out at the mere thought of the medicine causing Molly to get any worse weakness in her back legs. She has moments where she doesn't want to jump up on things, but that has been going on for about 2 years. Some days she still does jump and I haven't noticed her displaying any problems with walking in general. She does the stairs okay unless she is too sleepy. So this is a relief. I totally misunderstood that. I am however, more inclined now to wonder about it could be a good thing to get her started so she doesn't develop any of these symptoms and we monitor her cushings via the ACTH testing.

[apollo6]

Today was not a good day for me.
The one vet says to restart Apollo on the advantage multi once a week and the Zeniquin antibiotic 25mg. for a month.
When I went to the holistic vet, he gave me a 10 point chart on quality of life and when I should decide to let my boy down. I am crying so hard just typing this. It is like they have sent Apollo home to die. Yet while I am typing this my boy is yelling for me to get him.
I am so distraught, I went to the vet with no wallet or driver licence. Thank God I drove the speed limit. Apollo hardly eat his food today, yet when I got home he eat some new food. I took him out to got to the bathroom and even thought he struggled he went on his own and took a few steps. I am so broken hearted, I feel like my heart has been ripped out of me. I gave him a little of a scone and he ate it.
Now the one vet says take him off everything for awhile, and not start the Advantage and antibiotics.
My husband said we are not giving up on Apollo yet. Now I go into the kitchen and he is eating the food he left this afternoon?
Any input would be greatly appreciated. I have been crying all day.
Hugs Sonja and Apollo

[Roxee's Dad]

Hi Sonja,
I don't think any one will know better than you when that time comes. It sounds to me like he is still wanting to go on. If he hasn't given up the fight yet, then why should you?

Give the little guy a gentle belly rub from me.

[addy]

The one vet says to restart Apollo on the advantage multi once a week and the Zeniquin antibiotic 25mg. for a month

Sonja, which vet said this? The IMS? Because that does not sound like Apollo was sent home to time except by the holistic vet.

You have been brave for so long and have tried so hard. You will know when Apollo says no more.

Sweetie, I am so, so sorry, this is all happening. Sister in Battle, brave warrior, raise your spear one more time. Your heart will guide you.

[apollo6]

Dear John and Andy
thank you for your support. Will give Apollo a belly rub.Andy, I am putting on my warrior helmet on right now.
Last night Apollo had a restful night , good bowl movement, and finished his untouched food last night and ate his breakfast this morning.
the legs are getting weaker due to the muscle wasting. He still has a loud bark. I am still baffled by the low ACHT stim reading. He has been on a low dosage 10 mg. since the start. Should I go to IMS about the low reading?
How do I know if he is in pain?
One good thing:Apollo received a blue tie shirt that says "Property of SDPD(San Diego Police Dept). I asked my friend the police officer is Apollo your boy toy? She said you betcha. Will try to make a picture.
One for laughing. this old lady just got hit on by a boy maltose dog: he tried to mark me than tried to hump me:eek::eek: Is this what happens when you get older!
Through all the heart ache and pain we go through with our fur balls, a little laughter helps. And as Hanna's mom said, at this stage of this ugly disease,every day is a gift with them.
Hug Sonja and Apollo

[lulusmom]

Hi Sonja,

Yes, please contact the IMS to discuss the results of Apollo's last stim test. I personally think the IMS should be directing all of Apollo's treatment right now. He has a serious endocrine disorder that doesn't seem to be resolving after all this time so you should be dealing one on one with the IMS.

Glynda

[jmac]

Hi Sonja,

I'm so sorry you had such a bad day. It is so hard to think about being without them, I know. I cry every time I even think about it. I cry every time I read about someone else losing their dog on this forum. It is so difficult.

It is such a tough thing to think about, but I think in most cases, you WILL know. It is so hard for others to tell you when it's time. I do think the quality of life indicators are helpful when the time is getting close. I think if the dog still seems happy, eager to see its owner, and is able to eat, drink, and go to the bathroom, then it probably isn't time. It sounds like from what you said, Apollo still has the will to live.

I hope you'll figure out what is best to do for him right now, with conflicting advice.

Sending strength and hugs your way...

Julie & Hannah

[molly muffin]

Oh my gosh. I think that Apollo will let you know when he is too tired to fight any longer and he doesn't sound like he's there yet. You'll know when it happens. I think the vet is still fighting for Apollo and as long as he too thinks there is a chance that Apollo can feel better, then keep on fighting the fight. You have a fighting team on board, you, your husband, your vet, and Apollo.
See, key word in this post is "fight"!! :)

HUGS and Positive love your way,

Sharlene and molly muffin

[lvasilio]

It's been a while since I logged on and I am so sorry to catch up to see all the pups I've been following having issues. I am blessed that Jake is doing okay. I lost his brother two years ago to cancer and what I can tell you is I knew when he had given up. He fought the good fight for many months but he went down overnight and I saw it in his face he was too tired and hurting too much to continue. I feel we have a strong enough bond with our pups to know when it's time. hang in there. It sounds like he's not willing to give up yet.
Good luck
Lesley and Jake

[apollo6]

thank you all for your kind words. I am so torn by all the input from doctors. I started Apollo on. "My Perfect Pet" made in San Diego, fully cooked frozen food. he eat it for three days, struggling to eat, doesn't eat his food some times,started about a week ago. he is losing more and more muscle, One vet said take him off all Meds, other says continue Trilostane, Advantage Multi weekly, Zeniquin antibotic daily, Soloxine for thyroid. But I can hardly get him to eat anything, so I don't now how to get the pills down his throat, especially on an empty stomach. I applied the advantage Multi last week and gave him maybe two Zeniquin. I am afraid to apply more Advantage Multi with his weaken condition. Like Glynda said, get the courage to make appointment with IMS. I am so overwhelmed at losing my boy.

Still dealing with the inventory of the house fire.
August 1, I turned 60. All I could do with focus on Apollo.
YOur prayers are needed for my baby.
Hugs Sonja and Apollo

[mypuppy]

Dear Sonya,

I just want to say "I love YOU and Apollo" very, very much.

I feel ya sweet thing.

Tightest hugs ever.

xo Jeanette and Princess

[addy]

Dearest Sonja,

Love and hugs being sent your way. Follow your heart.

[Bailey's Mom]

Sonja-

Your are doing a great job, albeit a very hard job. Listen to your heart and look into Apollo's eyes. You've turned 60 so you're in a brand new decade for you.....all shiny and new. Enjoy Apollo while he's here.

HUGSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

Susan

[apollo6]

I don' t know if I can say shiny and new more like rusty. Today was a good day. Apollo had a normal bowel movement and ate his breakfast.
It is a roller coaster ride with Cushing.
You all are in my thoughts and prayers
Hugs Sonja and Apollo

[molly muffin]

Hi Sonja! yay, Apollo had a good day. Making the appointment with an IMS sounds like it is a tough thing to do, but I have never felt better than after I got to speak with the IMS about our molly. Sure it was still a cushings diagnosis, but i felt better for a having a plan and what I felt to be more knowledge available.
Hopefully you will feel better too and you can get something certain about Apollo and what is going on with him. I'd really want that for you.
Congratulations of the birthday. A time of reflection and newness.

Hugs,
Sharlene

[infoviewer]

Sonja, my thoughts are with you and your beloved doxie. He is so loved and so well taken care of. I just started Trilostane on my doxie CoCo a week ago and so far so good. Only started on 10 mg, so vet did not expect any problems, but he wanted to start on 30 mg. I have read all your threads and see all the excellent care you have given Apollo. I hope I can be as diligent and loving as you are. I am praying for you and Apollo to find something to help the sweet baby. You have my caring thoughts and I know you will find something to help him, you always have. Hugs, JoAnne

[apollo6]

thank you both for your support. should be doing the same for you. I brought Apollo to the regular vet and asked for a full blood panel and they also did a urinayalisis, and back on the Zeniquin ,antibotic, and spraying his infection with Vetricyn Wound and Infection spray. He lost about a lb. down to 9.4 so felt needed to do the blood panel to see what is going on. I have been giving him RXbiotics and started trying to add back in some supplements. I want to restart the thyroid medication again, Soloxine, and ask about the Trilostane. His infection has a hole that opened up now. the vet told me to take him off the Vetrlo/Trilosane for now? Because he is not eating like his usual self. It is less expensive to have tests with my regular vet than the IMS. Every time I have gone they have given me estimates for $3000. procedures. Do I go back to the IMS, do I just make him comfortable( I don't want to give up) He has been such a trooper with all the poking, blood tests ,etc.
The vet said to leave the wound open to be able to drain. the weight of the infection loops to one side may have caused it. the vet says this is not unusual when pocket form under the skin infections. this is so hard and overwhelming.
Will wait for lab results to decide what is the next course of action.
ON the somewhat positive side, he is eating a little bit more, had a more lighter stool last night, is still urinating.
I am so sorry that I am not keeping up with your challenges.
will try to make picture of Apollo in his "property of SFPD"
We need to still find a little joy and laughter in all this.
Hugs Sonja and Apollo

[Squirt's Mom]

Hi Sonja,

I agree with stopping the Trilo when Apollo is not eating well, and certainly when he is not eating at all. Also, you don't give either drug when a pup has soft stools/diarrhea or vomiting. ;) I know you know this but with all that is on your mind, I can see how it could fall through the cracks of the memory.

Hugs,
Leslie and the gang

[Altira]

I have to dash off to my moms house in a minute. But I wanted to stop in and say I'm thinking about you. Hugs.

[infoviewer]

Sonja: I so appreciate your information on slippery elm. I hope Apollo had a good night. He is such a brave and good little doxie. I can just see his sweet eyes looking at you like my doxie does. Seems like they know how to tug at our hearts. He still seems to enjoy life and not be in pain. I know it breaks your heart to see his struggles. You and your husband are such wonderful caregivers of Apollo. Hugs to all of you. JoAnne

[addy]

sending love and hugs dearest friend

[molly muffin]

Sonja, tests here are more expensive through the IMS than through the regular vet too. I get the vet to do all the testing they can, and the ultrasound I got the IMS to do (our vet doesn't have that machine). One reason I keep all the test results with me is so I can show them to the IMS if we need to consult.

Definitely dropping the Trilo until the other things are taken care of is an excellent idea.

It's okay, to freak out sometimes with all the worry that goes along with this. We're here for you when you need that shoulder!

Of course you are doing a good job and the best you can for Apollo! You are taking him for tests and watching him like a hawk, adjusting as needed. This is all you Can do and you are doing it well.

HUGS! You and Apollo both have a good day.

Sharlene and molly muffin

[addy]

Sonja, yesterday coming home from the IMS we pulled along side a shiny, new, really RED semi and on the side of the rig it said

"Apollo"

:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D

I just had to stop by and tell you because I immediately thought of our little boy and his red stroller:D:D:D:D

[Squirt's Mom]

Hi Sonja,

How is our little warrior today? And how is his mom doing?

Hugs,
Leslie and the gang

[jmac]

Hi Sonja-

Just stopping in to check on Apollo. Hannah's been having some troubles too, so I've been overwhelmed with vet trips and worrying about the right decisions to make for her. I try to keep up with your posts about Apollo. I'm glad to hear that Apollo was eating a little more and I think it's good advice to stop the Trilo for now.

Hope your little guy is doing okay!

Julie & Hannah

[apollo6]

I can not thank you all enough for your support. got the blood ,urinayalisis back.
I will only post the one that changed
Total protein - 4.3 (was 5.7)low range 5. To 7.4 (do to loss of fluid?or dermatitis not sure if due to infection or what this means)
Albumin 2.5 low ( was 3.) range 2.7 to 4.4(liver ,kidney,or gastronintestional or severe dermatitis read drugs are more toxic when reading is low)
AST 38 (was 33 going up)range 15-66(could the Trilostane have improved this?)
ALT 53(was 150) range 12-118
ALK Phosphatase 83 (was 256) range 5-131
BUN 37 high ( was 44) ranger 4-27
BUN 22 same
sodium 147 was 148 , range 139-154
Potassium 5.2 was 5 .8 still in range
Cholesterol 124 was 180 with in range
WBC 16.3 high ,was 9.8range 4. To 15.5 (could be due to infection? He did loss a lot of blood when the infection tore open)
RBC 5.4 was 7.3
PLatele count high 586 was 501 range 170-400
Neutrophils 13366 HIGH! Was 7448 ,range 2060-10600
Lymphocytes-1630 going up was 1274 range 690-4500
Monocytes-1141HIGH was 686- range 0-840
ESinophils 392 was 163 within range
"if continues not to eat much do ultrasound or use mitazadine to stimulate appetite, could infection cause him not to want to eat hardly?"
Did not to Amy or lip to check pancrease ?
Urinalysis
Appearance yellow
No urinary tract infection
Contine Zeniquin and Vetericyn wound spray.
will ask vet if can rinse opening out with beta dine mixed with water to prevent more infection.
I wish Apollo could have the skin infection mass removed but most vets say he would not survive the operation, after pain or recovery.
I just don 't know what is going on, he urinated last night, had a firm bowel movement( dark and some light yellow-kidney , liver?)
Yesterday went out with Rene and he eat a little out of her hand and drank some water. I am having a hard time now with getting his medication down his throat. He had a spoon full of baby yogurt and oatmeal, eat some turkey slices , but won' t touch the other food, gave him some baby chicken and sweet potatoe dinner had a spoonful of that ? He drank some water this morning.
Left word with vet, he is moaning a little on and off, and is still very a alert, not vomit or Then I wonder does Apollo have EPI( excronie pancreatic ineffiency) He has lost over a lb.
I AM WORRIED. May wind up going to IMS, but husband says what can they do for him that we are not doing already.
HUgs Sonja and Apollo
IN put would be great ful appreciated.

[molly muffin]

Hi Sonja,

I'm just going to pick out the things that I saw on your results as being out of range. The others are all within range, so this might let us get a clear view of what we are looking at.

Total protein - 4.3 (was 5.7)low range 5. - 7.4 (do to loss of fluid?or dermatitis not sure if due to infection or what this means)
Albumin 2.5 low (was 3.) range 2.7 - 4.4(liver ,kidney,or gastronintestional or severe dermatitis read drugs are more toxic when reading is low)
BUN 37 high (was 44) range 4 - 27
WBC 16.3 high (was 9.8) range 4. - 15.5 (could be due to infection? He did loss a lot of blood when the infection tore open)
Platele count 586 high (was 501) range 170 - 400
Neutrophils 13366 HIGH! (Was 7448) range 2060 - 10600
Monocytes 1141HIGH (was 686) range 0 - 840

an infection can cause alot of things to be off off when it comes to testing. WBC always goes up, etc

and yes, an infection could make him not feel hungry, because he doesn't feel good.
molly doesn't eat well when she has an infection, usually a UTI, and she usually ends up with the runs too. There is an antifloral bacterial packet that can be shaken onto some wet food that is good for bacterial type infections. I don't have any more of the one the vet gave me but it does help her usually. You get it from the vet.

What did the vet say about the test results?

I know this is very worrying, but you are a good mom and doing everything you can for Apollo. Just hang in there.

hugs,
Sharlene

[MBK]

Happy belated birthday, Sonja. Sorry to hear that sweet little Apollo is still having issues. You are so good to him. I hope he gets a miracle.

[addy]

Sonja, I don't have any input, it is so complicated sometimes with our pups.

But I can tell you how much we love you and Apollo.

The dang skin issues seem so hard to resolve. I was terrified of the consequences of having Zoe's growth removed as her skin is not good. I can imagine how terrified you would be at the thought of surgery for our little guy. Does not sound like an option from the vet's point of view.

Love you. I hope the fire insurance issues get resolved soon. Business is so dang unreliable for any period of time, terrible roller coaster.:(

Do one good thing for yourself today- Sonja super sunday drink time tomorrow!!!!!

[apollo6]

Couldn't do this without your support.
Vet said considering labs not to bad. the elevations, etc . could be due to the infections.
Got Apollo to eat some turkey and cottage cheese.
Tonight he ate a little chicken with white rice. All plain nothing on it.
This is such a roller coaster ride.
I have requested an ultrasound to see if any organs are more inflamed or scarred: liver, kidney, pancreatic scarring, and intestinal issues.
The vet basically said nothing more he can do and signs of more deterioration with the weight loss. But he did drink water and it is like he wants to eat sometimes than other times no. This is a dog that would tear the food out of your hand and eat like a pig. I am going nuts on researching ever disease there is. I feel his pancreatitis is acting up again. Like Zoe and all the cushing babies this has been a difficult journey.
It is the moments I cherish right now.
Right on Addy:p Sunday is ice caffe day: hot coffee, a scope of vanilla ice cream and top of with Whip cream and an italian chocolate biscotti on top. :D That is the true Vienna ice caffe.
I am trying to savoury the moments with Apollo now.
Hugs Sonja and Apollo

[MBK]

Hi, Sonja -

Just thinking about you and sweet Apollo. Roller coaster ride for sure! I hope he has a good day and that iced coffee drink sounds DELICIOUS! Treasure the moments when you can.

[infoviewer]

Sonja: Just hoping you and your family and little Apollo have a good Sunday and Apollo eats more today. I am thinking of him and praying for all of you. Love JoAnne

[molly muffin]

I'll second what JoAnne said. I hope Apollo is doing well today, eating a little and getting around as best he can.

Good days may not be every day, but every day is a precious day.

Hugs,
Sharlene

[jmac]

Hi Sonja,

Just stopping in to say I hope Apollo has a good day. Hope he eats for you, and that his tummy is okay. I hope the ultrasound will give you some more information about what's going on with him. I hope you treated yourself to that yummy coffee.

Julie & Hannah

[apollo6]

Thank you Addy, Mary Beth & Aliva,Joanne and Molly, Leslie and the gang and all of you.
that would be my Apollo in a fire engine red car, I used to have a red Audi,kind of drove fast in it.:eek::D:D:D
Apollo barely ate a little chicken. I can hardly get his medication down him. Iam worried about not being able to get his medication down him, the antibotic.
I got his antibotic down him with whip cream! He will eat whip cream!
I had a mini breakdown this morning-screaming and yelling, cradling Apollo , begging God to help him.
I am trying everything to make him eat- rice, chicken, turkey, baby food, cottage cheese, yogurt.
It is not good. tomorrow Ultrasound at vet, they have a tech who come in with a portable one and I can get results within a day, then decide next option. what more can an IMS do for him?
I am so afraid. Yet this morning he had a healthy bowel movement- normal brown, not black or cow doo, firm?
It reminds me of Corky's Mom, what she did to try and save him.
Please pray for us.
HUgs Sonja and Apollo

HUgs Sonja and Apollo
Hugs Sonja and Apollo

[addy]

Always praying for you Sonja, dear first friend.

Go ahead and cry, scream, do whatever you need to do to let it all out.

Sometimes you just have to.

Can you feel me hugging you and holding your hand?

[Bailey's Mom]

Oh, Sonja-I am sorry this is so very hard. It just isn't right. Palmer reached that point where he would not eat. When he finally ate a slice of deli turkey we almost held a parade! I so know how helpless you feel. Being with Apollo is the best gift you have. Comfort one another. You are doing the very best you can.

-Susan-another good hand holder

[MBK]

Oh, Sonja.

My heart is breaking for you. It is so obvious how much you love Apollo and how well you have taken care of him. I am confident you will continue to do what is best for Apollo. What Apollo probably loves the most is just being with you. Extra thoughts, hugs and prayers going your way.

[molly muffin]

Oh Sonja :(

Okay, its official everyone is going to be needing Screamer Monday. So a joint scream at say 2pm est sound good for everyone?
It's okay to scream and cry and whatever else you need to do. We hold all these emotions inside of us for so long that eventually they have to come out. All that worry just has to go somewhere ya know. A person cannot live on scared alone, we need hope for something else to get us through, that there will be a light somehow at the end of the tunnel.
So I hope that ultrasound does it and they can figure out what is wrong. Just keep trying with the food variety. Stock up on the whip cream! :)
I wish I could fix it all for you.

Hugs,
Sharlene and molly muffin

[apollo6]

thank you all-Addy and Zoe, Susan, Marybeth and Aliva, Sharlene and Molly Muffin.
HUgs Sonja and Apollo

[molly muffin]

How did Apollo do with the Ultrasound today? Are you alright?

Don't forget to scream and just let it all out!! Really loudly!

Several of us have already contributed but just in case you need some help getting started...it goes like this

ARGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHH

[Casey's Mom]

Sonja, it is so very hard when they won't eat. I think we could take anything else but not eating. Love and strength being sent to you my dear friend.

[infoviewer]

Sonja: Thinking of you and Apollo as soon as I get up. Hope the ultrasound gave you and the vets some useful information. So Sorry he will not eat. I have given my dogs water and thin food with a syringe, but have to try to keep them from strangling or sometimes with an eye dropper. I know you try everything with Apollo. I am praying that he is better this morning. Love JoAnne

[Squirt's Mom]

Hi Sonja,

Holding Apollo and you in my thoughts and prayers always. Let us hear from you when you can, sweetie.

Hugs,
Leslie and the gang

[jmac]

Hi Sonja,

Just want to let you know I am thinking of you and little Apollo.

Did you have the ultrasound? Have you been able to get him to eat or take his meds?

Sending prayers and positive thoughts your way. Please let us know how both of you are doing when you have time.

Julie & Hannah

[Maya]

I hope Apollo feels better soon, Sonja. Have you tried giving Apollo Sardines? Those are the only things Maya would eat when she was really sick...probably because they are nice and stinky:). We get them from Vons, but I can't remember what brand they are. They are in natural spring water with no salt added. Hope the ultrasound goes well....
Hugs from Leah and Maya

[apollo6]

Dear Friends.
I am crying as I write this. The ultrasound was not good news.:(

Severe gastrointestinal
abnormalities have developed. The stomach and small intestine contain echogenic fluid and the GI tract is
generally hypermotile. The gastric wall is not thickened (5mm) but has abnormal layering with some
hyperechoic foci in the deep wall layers. The appearance is concerning for pseudolayering. The proximal
duodenum maintains a normal wall (4.8-5.2mm), however the more distal descending duodenum has
become hypoeohoic. markedly thickened (1.3cm), severely plicated/corrugated, has lost all layering, and has multlfocal ulceration. A loop of jejunum in the left mid-abdomen has a similar appearance (up to 8.1mm
wall). Other segments of the jejunum are normal (2.7mm wall). The mesentery is diffusely hyperechoic and
there is a scant volume of anechoic peritoneal effusion.
The dramatic alteration in the appearance of the duodenum and segments of the jejunum (+1. the stomach) is most concerning for neoplasia. particularly primary GI carcinoma or less likely lymphoma. Gastrointestinal
stromal cell tumor (GIST) can also have a similar appearance

I have him on antibiotics for the skin and the intestinal issues. But if this does not work, it would be an endoscopy or exploratory surgery to check for cancer. I wish I could say things are getting better.
I am to call vet within a week. I am the one who pushed for the ultrasound. I am so angry because in all the tests over the last two years there were notations about his small intestines which should have been addressed. Pray for us. I need a miracle.
Apollo ate some cottage cheese, some chicken and Gerber baby turkey sticks this morning.
You keep on fighting and having hope until the end.
Hugs Sonja and Apollo
ON the lighter side I will post pictures of my boy with whip cream all over his nose. You will see how much weight he has lost.

[Maya]

I'm so sorry to hear that things are not going well for Apollo. I will say a little prayer for you both.....
Hugs, Leah and Maya

[jmac]

Oh Sonja,

I am so very, very sorry. That does not sound good. I wish I had some advice for you. Do they know if he is in pain? I am saying prayers for you and Apollo. We are always here for you.

Julie & Hannah

[Bailey's Mom]

Sonja I am so sorry for the report you have received. My thoughts are with you and Apollo.

Susan

[Jenny & Judi in MN]

I'm sorry for the bad news. I'm glad Apollo is enjoying his whipped cream. hugs, Judi

[addy]

Dearest Sister In Battle,

I am just home reading this now and I am so sorry and so shocked. It does not seem right that I would get hopeful news for Zoe and you receive such news for dearest little boy.

It is hard for me to decipher the technical medical terms and I am thinking back to Zoe's biopsies last fall and wonder should I go find them and we can see what they said? She had problems too.

I hold you close my dearest first friend and I will be strong and brave for both of us. Just tell me what you need. Prayers are being said.

Sonja, what did they say, in layman's terms? What did the vet tell you?

[molly muffin]

Well Sonja. That just rightly does suck. grrrrrrrrrrrrr
It seems so darn unfair. Sometimes it's easier to get angry and get that we'll fight for every day thing going on because if you don't the tears just don't seem to ever stop.
Okay, so I'm going to go ahead and share some tears with you anyway.
I hope, hope, hope that the antibiotics work. You KNOW that we are here with you, for you. We'll scream with you, cry buckets with you and anything else that you need.
Stay Strong! No one in the world is a better advocate for Apollo than you his mom.
Hugs dear Sonja to you and Apollo both.
Sharlene

[infoviewer]

Sonja: I am so sorry for the report on Apollo, but they really cannot tell what it is without a biopsy and it could just be an overgrowth of tissue because of the ulcerations from the Cushings. At least he is eating and you are right we just keep fighting and he is a little warrior. Dachshunds are fighters and they never give up. He always seems to come back. I am praying for your family and Apollo. Love JoAnne

[MBK]

Dear Sonja -

I am so sorry that the ultrasound provided more bad news. The little guy (and you) certainly are overdue for some good reports. You help Apollo fight. You are his strength. Miracles do happen. Keeping you in my thoughts.

[apollo6]

thank you all for your loving words. I have been forcing the medication down him. Feeding by hand, spoon,etc, syringe to get water down him. he eats baby turkey and chicken sticks, cooked turkey and chicken,sometimes I get a little cottage cheese down him. the last ultrasound last September did not show any abnormalities.
I am to wait a week to see if he gets any better. Just for today.
all your prayers are needed.
I did post him with whip cream on his face.
Hugs Sonja and Apollo
Treasure your furballs.

[molly muffin]

How adorable is that whipped cream on the nose. How on earth can he resist licking it off? It would never stay on mollys nose long enough to even get a picture taken!
Little Apollo so adorable. Hope he is better by the next test.

Hugs,
Sharlene

[addy]

Thinking of you both, Zoe has not gotten over her crush on Apollo and Koko still has the hots for Karma:):):)

Woof!!!!

I hope things are okay, sweetie, are you okay?

[molly muffin]

I hope you have and Apollo have a good weekend.

hugs
Sharlene

[frijole]

Sonja, Following along and sending love. Checked out the photos... loved them. That dog is surely spoiled. Lots of great shots.. loved the one of Apollo sleeping on Daddy's lap. Cherish every minute. Kim

[apollo6]

thank you all for your kindness. It is tough and go each day now with Apollo. I have to force him to eat a little. It is bad.
Apollo is upset Zoe has gotten over her crush. Apollo prides himself on being a lady's man dog.:)
I have an appointment Friday with the vet on Apollo's antibiotics.
I don' t know if there is any reason to still go to an IMS,his skin infections have progressed, I feel the vets could have done more when I look back. Did I do the right thing for Apollo? Should he have been on a higher dose of Trilostane, each time we tried his cortisol dropped to low? Everyone keeps saying when are you going to put him down, it is so cruel. Last night he ate one of the treats he used to love. it has been a roller coaster the last few weeks. I keep telling myself to not go there about my baby boys dying. I am so stupid, I keep praying for a miracle, just a little more time with him. Hold us in your prayers.
HUgs Sonja and Apollo
P.s . I am so wrapped up in my own sorrow, I forget to ask how all of you are doing.

[Squirt's Mom]

Thank you for the sweet comment on Brick's picture! He is such a sweetheart, Sonja! He is always happy, always loving, and always optimistic. He has no idea he only weighs 4.8 lbs! :D He is my Dudley Dooright - broad shoulders and chest, narrow hips, and chiseled handsome face! :p

[addy]

Sweetie, Zoe is still madly in love with Apollo as we all are.
I dont have any words of wisdom just love and prayers for you both.
Sonja, you have always done your best for your little boy, never think otherwise. Sometimes there are forces going on in our pups, we cant see or dont know about.

I love you both and I am so sorry you are going through this. I wish I had a magic wand to make it all better. Hold tight dearest friend. We love you.

[infoviewer]

So sorry Sonja. I am just praying that Apollo starts getting better and is not in any pain. I love doxies. I have had three and they are such tough little dogs and never complain. I had one that broke his back and was put back together and learned to walk again. Just hold on with all your might and love. Hugs and prayers, JoAnne

[Tina]

Sonja, I am so sorry to read the reports from the past few days. I just want you to know that you and Apollo are in my prayers. I continue to pray that he feels better. From what I have read, he couldn't have a better Mom.

Hugs to you and your special boy,

Tina

[Squirt's Mom]

Thinking of you both this morning, Sonja. Sending warm hugs, gentle belly rubs and healing white light to all.

Hugs,
Leslie and the gang

[MBK]

Dear Sonja,

You have always been here for all of us and you are entitled to only worry about Apollo and YOU right now. No worries and no need to apologize. I am so sorry you are going through this, but don't second guess yourself. You have ALWAYS done the best you could've for Apollo and no one could have possibly loved him more. Ignore the remarks people make about putting him down. Only you will know if and when that time comes. You'll know in your heart what's best for your little guy, as you always have. You and Apollo are in our prayers.

[Bo's Mom]

Praying for Apollo!!!

[Squirt's Mom]

Sending hugs and belly rubs across the miles. Hope you and Apollo share one good thing today!

Hugs,
Leslie and the gang

[molly muffin]

Hi Sonja! Do not question yourself! You have always walked that extra mile for Apollo. He is a darlin little guy and still quite the ladies man I'm sure. Hello, he comes bearing gifts of whip cream on his nose! What more good a woman ask for. hahahaha

It's a tough road to walk, but you don't walk it alone. I know it might feel like you do sometimes, but you don't, we all check in here constantly to see how each other are doing and we share the load of both laughter and sorrow.

Apollo himself will be the one to tell you when he has gone as far as he can and when that time comes as it does to all of us eventually, one way or another, you will know. Until then, each day is it's own.

Hugs,
Sharlene

[infoviewer]

Still holding you and Apollo in my thoughts and arms. Love, JoAnne

[addy]

Hi Sonja,

We are all thinking of you and sending love.

[Jenny & Judi in MN]

hugs from me & Jenny to you and Apollo too

[Bo's Mom]

How is Apollo doing?

[molly muffin]

Checking in on you and Apollo. You know we get all kinds of nervous if we don't hear anything for too long.
Hugs,
Sharlene

[infoviewer]

Hey Sonja: Thinking and praying for you and Apollo. Hope you'll are okay. Love, JoAnne

[jmac]

Sonja,
I'm also thinking of you and Apollo...

Julie & Hannah

[apollo6]

Dear Addy, Tina, Leslie & gang,Mary Beth & Aliva, Sharlene and Molly, Belinda Rose,Bo & Latte, and everyone.
Thank you for your caring.
My husband and I went to the vet yesterday. We were both crying. Apollo is dying, his body is slowly shutting down. the vet gave me some calorie boosters for Apollo. Apollo has lost over 2 lbs in the last three weeks. the skin infections have worsened. His bowel movements are black. the vet said it may be internal G.I. bleeding.
the vet said Apollo's mind is very alert still and he still has the will to live. the vet hopes Apollo will go on his own. It could be a day, a week, a month. I asked if Apollo is in any pain. The vet so far he is not.
After we got home we gave Apollo some food, and he ate with a vigor, like saying "I'm not leaving yet."
the most drastic measures would be a blood transfusion, be feed with an IV in the hospital. the vet said he could not see Apollo staying in the hospital without me. He held Apollo in his arms gently and said what a gentle soul Apollo has and how his staff enjoyed him.
We went out to a cafe Friday for our 38 th anniversary, and had Apollo and our other dachie,Karma, with us in his red stroller. We gave them a little of our food. Apollo has good taste in food.
All your prayers are needed. I didn't think I would be at this place already. I keep hoping for a miracle. the vet said , I have gone beyond what most owners would do for their pet, as so many of you have and will. I tel Apollo how much love, joy, laughter he has given me and I would not trade it for anything.
HUgs Sonja and Apollo

[Squirt's Mom]

Oh, Sonja,

My heart is breaking for you all. Please know your family here is surrounding Apollo, you and your hubby during the coming days, lending your our strength, hope and faith for the difficult path that lies ahead.

Hugs and gentle belly rubs,
Leslie and the gang

[addy]

Dearest Sonja, I think all of our hearts are breaking; for you and Apollo have fought such a battle.

Please know we love you both and are here for you.

I pray Renee is with you or nearby. She has been such a dear friend for you.

You have our prayers as always.

[Bailey's Mom]

Hi dear Sonja,
I am so sorry for your news. I wish I could come, be by your side, to be there whenever you needed a hug, shoulder or a tissue. Apollo's path sounds very similar in many ways to Palmer's. The one thing I would change, if I could, would be not to have Palmer hospitalized those last 5-6 days before he came home for only two more. None of us can know exactly how things will play out. We do what our hearts tell us to do with all the love we have. You can't make a mistake because it comes from a pure place....a place of love.

Don't waste a nano second on any what if's or maybe I should have's. Do NOT pay attention to others who think they know better than you and your hubby. Hubby, Apollo and you will figure this out in time.

I remember asking Palmer to please make it to 15. I then remember talking with Palmer and saying...."You're not going to make it to 14, are you?". Palmer looked at me like....I was waiting for you to figure this out.

As I often say on this forum....enjoy today. It's all any of us have, anyway. Cherish this tough fighter of yours. Pamper him with whatever he will accept. Know we are all here to help hold you up. Your pain is acute and many of us have walked this path before you. You will get through this. We are here for you. In the meantime, my most sincere prayers and wishes for comfort and peace go out to you, Apollo & yours.

Love
Susan

[marie adams]

Dearest Sonja,

I remember you came to this forum around the same time as I did with Maddie. Apollo is a fighter!!!:) You have taken such good care of him and he knows it!!

As Susan said and even so many of us - enjoy your time together...all our pups will be there to greet Apollo when the time comes.

Take care and Big ((((HUGS))))!!!!:)

[molly muffin]

Oh Sonja. :( I'm really sorry to hear the little Apollo's body is having such a hard time.
I'm happy though for every minute that you and your husband can spend with him. You are such an inspiration to all of us. You and Apollo both. My heart just cries elephant tears for all of you. I hope that makes sense.

hugs and super big hugs more,
Sharlene

[Boriss McCall]

Sonja, I am so sorry to read about Apollo. :(

(((hugs)))
Amy & Boriss

[Bo's Mom]

Praying for Apollo and your family. This has to be one of the most difficult things to endure and the pain is felt by many. Apollo knows you love him and will go to the ends of the earth for him. Keep loving him and may you be granted the peace and comfort to know you are doing all you can.

[Squirt's Mom]

Sending hugs and belly rubs across the miles this morning. A candle burns for our precious warrior and his mom.

Hugs,
Leslie and the gang

[infoviewer]

Sonja and Family: My thoughts and prayers are with you. Hope all had a restful night. I know you are doing everything possible for beautiful Apollo. Love, JoAnne

[apollo6]

Dear Friends, too many to list.
thank you for your support.
ME,Doug, Mom, Karma( the health one), and Apollo took a drive up the coast for the afternoon and enjoyed time together. I broke down and cried saying this will be the last time Apollo is with us. We sat down,I held Apollo wrapped in a blanket, a couple asked if Apollo was sick, because of the loving way I was holding him. I said yes. I made pictures of him with us.
We went to church that night, Apollo is known as the church dog, many people know him as a regular and asked about him. ON the light side, our Karma was a little rascal and would not stay in her carrier, we had people behind and beside us trying to get her back in her bag. If she had her way, she would have taken a tour of the church and gone to the priest during mass to visit.
I will post some pictures later. I still can not believe he is dying.
Hugs Sonja and Apollo

[labblab]

Dear Sonja,

I am so deeply sorry for your family's pain. I just want you to know that I am here, too, and praying for dear Apollo with all my might. I am sending many hugs to you all from across the miles, and I will keep Apollo's bright spirit in my thoughts. I know his spirit is, and will always be, safely tucked in your heart.

Marianne

[MBK]

Dear Sonja -

I am sitting here crying for you. We all keep hoping for miracles and no matter what, even under the best of circumstances, our fur babies are NEVER here long enough. Apollo is so fortunate to have such a loving human family. You and your husband have been amazing caretakers for the little guy and it is obvious he has provided you with immeasurable joy in return. Like others have said, you have always done what's best for Apollo and you will continue to follow your heart wherever that may lead.

Sending love, prayers and strength your way.

[frijole]

Dear Sonja, Chiming in with the others to send love and strength to you and dear Apollo. Enjoy all the final minutes and capture as many memories as you can. We are with you in spirit. KIm

[jmac]

Sonja,

I'm thinking of you and sending you strength. I'm so glad you spent some time just enjoying Apollo. I hope you'll make the most of every minute you have with him. He is a lucky little man to have such loving, dedicated owners. You've given him a wonderful life, and I'm sure he knows it. I know he has brought an enormous amount of joy to your lives as well.

You are in my thoughts...

Julie & Hannah

[Bailey's Mom]

Dear Sonja,

Thank you for sharing with us your recent moments with Apollo. It is so touching. I am so very pleased to see you are all sharing those special moments that you have now. I am sending you strength and hugs and courage. You are showing Apollo your deep love. Right now it is what you can do.

-Susan

[Nika'sMom]

Sonja,
I am sending prayers, love and strength to you at this time. You have been such a wonderful Mom to your Apollo, he has been one lucky little boy. My heart hurts for you right now..love and hugs Lynda

[addy]

Sending all my love, dear Sonja.

[Boriss McCall]

I hope you are getting to love & enjoy your little Apollo today.

hugs
Amy & Boriss

[molly muffin]

Hi Sonja,

I'm thinking of you and Apollo. Hoping for some good moments today. :)

hugs,
Sharlene and molly muffing

[mypuppy]

Tigh hugs for you and sweet Apollo and lots of licks from my Princess.

We luv ya....xo Jeanette

[Bailey's Mom]

Hugs to you and Apollo. Our hearts and thoughts are with you.
-Susan and Bailey.

[molly muffin]

Hi ya Sonja. :) How are you and Apollo doing today?

hugs,
Sharlene

[apollo6]

thank you all for your support, there are to many to list. Everyone of you is special to me. I will post the pictures under a new album.
Every day is a blessing with him. Everyone says I will know . I just didn't think I would be dealing with it so soon. I keep blaming myself that I should have done more about the mites and persisted more about the intestinal issues. EAch day it is a challenge to get him to eat anything, he still let's me know when he needs to go outside, he still drinks water and enjoys being outside. he would be 14 in October.
Apollo is the only dog, I every had.

LIke Addy, our other dachie Karma, almost 14 also, is as healthy as an ox. I cry all the time.
I'll post the pictures.
Hugs Sonja and Apollo

[sunshinehoman]

Sending LOTS of love to you and Apollo!

Shannon & Sunshine

[frijole]

Enjoyed the photos. Keep snapping away, enjoy that sunshine and mostly enjoy each other and dear Apollo. My heart aches for you - I know that pain. Sending you strength, love and hugs. Kim

[sunshinehoman]

Where do you look at photos?

[Steph n' Ella]

Click on a members name and select "public profile". Photos are along the right side of your screen.

[molly muffin]

Love the pictures. Apollo sure is a sweet little guy. :)

Hugs,
Sharlene

[MBK]

Beautiful pictures, Sonja. Sending our thoughts your way and wishing you comfort.

[addy]

Dearest Sonja, the love shining through every picture is amazing. I can feel Apollo's beautiful spirit glowing about him.

Amazing photos.

Sending lots of love and hugs

[Jenny & Judi in MN]

Apollo is such a sweet looking boy. I can just feel the love. hugs, Judi

[Boriss McCall]

Hope you had a wonderful day with your sweet Apollo.

Amy & Boriss

[Tina]

The pictures are beautiful Sonja. I continue to keep you and Apollo in my prayers.

Hugs,

Tina and Jasper

[apollo6]

Dear Friends
Thank you for your support. Please forgive me for not checking in on all of you. This is been so hard. Each day, is a blessing with Apollo right now. I take each day, one day at a time. I am dreading what is to come.
Hugs Sonja and Apollo

[Tina]

Sonja, thank you for taking the time to post on my thread when you have so much on your mind. Jasper is getting Lysodren currently, but thank you for the information on Trilostane. I did price the Lysodren at Drs Foster & Smith, and it is less expensive than my vet. I found it at a local pharmacy for even cheaper but haven't bought any more yet as we are still struggling with getting Jasper stabilized on a dose. It is currently on hold again while we wait for the ACTH test results.

How is Apollo today? I know from experience how extremely hard all of this is and am keeping you both in my prayers. I know you are spending as much time as you can with him, and how difficult it is to take it one day at a time.

Hugs and strength to you both,

Tina and Jasper

[molly muffin]

Oh Sonja, HUGS! We know you are going through so much right now with little Apollo.
You know us, we'll worry anyway and we'll ask all the time about the two of you and that's okay. You will let us know how things are when you can. We all understand that.
Just enjoy the days. :)

hugs,
Sharlene

[Altira]

It's the hardest time of your life I know. Everyone here knows. All I can say is I pray that Apollo will let you know when he's ready to go. It doesn't make it any less painful but in time you will remember it and know you did the right thing. So many here were with me when I lost Mira. This is such a nice place to be. I cry a lot too. They say you need to be strong and not show your emotion. That's impossible, at least for me. I just hold them and cry. But this is what dogs do. 8:::: so sad.

[infoviewer]

Dear Sonja: Thinking of you and Apollo at this terrible time. Love the pictures of the beautiful and sweet Apollo. Hugs, JoAnne

[Squirt's Mom]

Morning hugs and belly rubs on the way!

[MBK]

Keeping you in our thoughts and hoping you are enjoying your sweet Apollo. Alivia is my first dog so I have never experienced the loss of one but, I have been close to losing Alivia multiple times, so I can imagine your pain and my heart breaks for you. Hugs to you both.

[addy]

love you bunches

[Bailey's Mom]

Hi Sonja-
I just looked at the new album.....I love the BMW!! Look at those eyes and that bright look, especially in the first picture. Apollo doesn't look like he's going anywhere anytime soon to me. He looks like he's happy right where he is!! Perhaps you could name the album "King Apollo"?

I hope your and your family have a wonderful, loving weekend. I hope the weather is nice and hugs are shared all the way around. I'll be thinking of all of you.

Love,
Susan

[apollo6]

Thank you all for your posts.
I have not been able to hide my feelings from Apollo. like so many I had hoped Apollo would have had a health long life a few more years and just one day fallin a sleep on his own. yesterday we went to an ocean park, he so enjoyed being outside feeling the sun and breathing in the ocean air, feeling the breeze on his body. Mom cradled him in her arms and we sat in silence watching the waves.
I have started looking at in home and cremation since we lost our home to the fire in Reno and we have a small town house here.
A friend said I could have Apollo's picture engraved on the urn.
I just start crying when I think about it.
MY brother said I should focus on Apollo's last few days. I have asked my husband if the insurance company will give us an extension on listing all the house contents from the fire. We are only less than half way through the list on the total loss, and I can not handle doing it right now.
I cry every day, the nights are the worst. I keep wanting a miracle, wanting to go to another specialist , feeling like I did everything wrong by Apollo. should I have given another medication, should I, could I.
Hugs Sonja and Apollo

[jmac]

Hi Sonja,

Oh Sonja, you did not do anything wrong. You love Apollo with every fiber of your being, and you did absolutely everything you possibly could for him. He knows it and we know it. It is just hard for you to see in your grief. You cannot question your decisions. Every single one of them was made with his best interest in mind.

He has had a long, wonderful life full of love and lots of special moments. He was so lucky to find you, and I know you feel lucky to have been able to have him be a part of your life. I can imagine how difficult it is thinking about having to say goodbye because I have gone through it with Hannah. I thought I was going to be saying goodbye a few weeks ago and I did lots of crying and holding her and loving her. Luckily we have more time. Thinking about losing them is heart-breaking and gut-wrenching. It is okay to cry. It's healthy.

You need to remind yourself that you have done all you can for Apollo and that your focus now is keeping him happy and pain free for whatever time he has left. If it comes to the point where he is no longer enjoying life, or when he is in too much pain, then you will know it is time to do the last and most difficult, selfless thing for him, to let him go. It is so hard for us, but knowing that it sets them free from pain, suffering, or misery is what makes it more bearable. In time, your happy memories with Apollo will come through to help ease the pain.

Please know that I am thinking of you and that we are all here for you. I'm sending hugs and strength your way...

Julie & Hannah

[MBK]

Dearest Sonja,

We will all continue to remind you that you did absolutely NOTHING wrong when it comes to Apollo. You have loved him with all of your heart and all the decisions you made for him were made out of love. You tried everything possible. You have no reason to doubt yourself but, if you do, we will be here to remind you as often as needed.

I am so sorry you have the weight of filing an insurance claim on your shoulders at this time. That is stressful enough on its own. It certainly would not hurt to ask your insurance company for an extension of time due to some personal issues - it gives them longer before having to pay. But, as a paralegal, if they do grant an extension, make sure to get something in writing stating that.

Alivia's sister was cremated when she passsed away last year. Her urn has her name on it and a picture frame with a picture of her healthy and happy. It is a beautiful remembrance. It is also a way to keep them with you when you know there is the possibility of you moving sometime. When the time comes, it is what I will do with Alivia.

So glad you got to spend some quiet, peaceful time with Apollo at the ocean. They can sense our emotions and that was probably beneficial to everyone.

Wishing you peace and strength. Please give Apollo a gentle kiss from me, Alivia and Maxwell.

[molly muffin]

Dear Sonja,
I don't know of anything that you could have done that you didn't try. You have done everything to try and help Apollo. Don't even go down that road. it isn't a good place to be sweetie.
Days at the ocean, breathing the air, feeling the breeze. Giving Apollo the best possible days.

Ditto about getting an extension okay in writing.

You know we are right here with you if you want or need a chat. (and even if you don't) :)

hugs,
Sharlene

[Casey's Mom]

Dear Sonja,

As others have said this is the hardest time. You have been a brave, wonderful mom and don't ever doubt yourself. Sending you huge warm hugs.

[addy]

Sometimes, no matter how hard we try or how hard we fight, there is a different plan for our loved ones. This is such a hard time for you and my heart breaks that you have to have so much pain. "If only" is a lonely road to travel and you dont deserve that path.

Everything you have done for Apollo has been done with such love, every decison came from your heart. Dont second guess your heart Sonja.

You and Apollo are in my thoughts and prayers every single day. You are not alone in this final journey. Take my hand, dearest friend. We will travel all roads togther as we have always done.

Sometimes, dearest Sister in Battle, we have to lay down our swords.
Cherish each moment you can. I know that is so very hard to do.

all my love Sonja.

[Bailey's Mom]

Oh Sonja-
I am sure everyone of us here would like to take part of your load and grief for you. This is so very hard because your love for one another is so very deep. You could not have experienced the joy and then not have had pain.

I have twice wished my dogs would go to sleep, never to wake the next day. It didn't work out that way. You are in the thick of it now. Somewhere down the road, this will not hurt this much. For now, the ocean, the breezes, his little nose sniffing in the smells sounds absolutely perfect. You will be so glad later, when you look back, (much later) and you will appreciate the quality of time you have with Apollo now. He can feel your love. He trusts you implicitly, and rightly so. All of your efforts continue to come from that deep place of love. You can do nothing wrong because your first concern is Apollo and his comfort.

It doesn't feel like it, but you are doing a wonderful job and I admire your ability to stay in touch with the forum. While your arms are holding and hugging Apollo, just imagine all the fingers, all around the world, that are trying to squeeze strength, courage and love, into your little fingers.

Love,
Susan

[Altira]

Well as always all the angels have done well at covering every inch of your pain with reality. It's normal to blame yourself, it makes me all teary eyed just remembering that. Nobody ever seems to know for certain what is the best thing to do. They just say try this, or try that and we have to make our own choices. Often times we will never know if they were the right ones and we will always wonder. The best thing you can do now is spend every minute possible with him. And not wait too long it let him go. I keep picturing the scene of you and your mom sitting on the beach. Mom holding apollo. Angels fluttering and praying near by. It's an awsome sight. Of a painful time. My mother says it's hurts just as much as lossing a child. How sweet of your mom to care so much too. So many end up alone at these times because family often just dont get it. At least you are not alone. I couldn't deal with the fire thing either right now. I liked sitting with Mira and telling her about all the fun times we had together and the silly and naughty things she did.

[infoviewer]

Dear Sonja: Never second guess that you have always done the right thing for Apollo. Everything you have done and will do from now on has been because you love him so deeply and have tried to help him in this terrible disease. Sometimes things are just out of our hands no matter how much we do. Just remember the good times with Apollo and the love you have shown him and the love he has shown you and your family. Just remember how you have fought to bring him back to health and you did many times. Remember the stroller. You are a wonderful person to have taken such good care of your sweet baby. Whatever you do or have done has always been for the love of Apollo. No one could have ever done more and fought as hard. You are a warrior and I applaud you for your strength. Love JoAnne a doxie lover.

[Bailey's Mom]

Maybe this will lighten your load a little.........

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/09/04/baby-wakes-up-with-every-emotion_n_1853746.html

[Altira]

You ok Sonja?

[Franklin'sMum]

Oh Sonja

I'm just catching up. You have done everything you can to help Apollo. You've learned so much in this journey and every decision you've made has been with Apollo's best interests in your mind and heart. Please don't beat yourself up about what could have been. Apollo knows how lucky and loved he is.

Hugs

Jane, Franklin and Angel Bailey

[apollo6]

THANK YOU
all.
The baby video was cute.
It is getting closer to Apollo's passing. Some moments he is very alert and still has pride and dignity to try and stand on his own. He drinks a little water, no food unless I force a little nutrition down his throat. I talk to him about all the fun , good times: waiting in the kitchen in his bed for a belly rub, eating the groceries out of the car, leaving half an eaten bagel at the garage door entrance, eating my Starbucks blue berry scone and leaving me the wrapper.:o
All the little coats, and sweaters, and costumes he so proudly wore, all manly of course. Listen to the tapping of his little paws when he came into the kitchen as soon as he heard me chopping food. Doing so many tricks for his Mom: catching the ball but never bringing it back but hiding in his dog house outside. Licking my face when I cried, pulling the covers off me to get me up in the morning. Sitting on the back of my calves when I worked on the floor.
And it goes on and on.
Thinking about not seeing his face in his car seat when I drive, all the pet beds will be empty like my heart, he won't be there when I go into the kitchen or be outside on the patio. Not seeing that beautiful face. We never had children so our babies where spoiled rotten and I have no regrets.
Tomorrow I go to see a pet cremation called Friends forever to decide what I will do for Apollo, it will be a private cremation, and I will say good by to my baby the last time. This is so hard, I am taking Apollo with me. Rene said I should get my house in order before Apollo goes, because I will be very distraught when it happens.
I read on the Internet how to comfort a dying dog. I hold Apollo and tell him how much I love him and I would not change it for anything.
I am having a very difficult time with all of this.
I will need your support and kind words when it happens
Hugs Sonja and Warrior Apollo.

[frijole]

Ah Sonja, you just took me down memory lane... we had similar stories with our wee ones. I feel your pain as if it were my own. I am sure that dear Apollo is feeling the immense love and enjoyed those memories as if they were yesterday. Know that we are here today, tomorrow and the next day. Healing takes a long time but know we will all miss our dear brave little man. You have done a great job of sharing him with all of us.

I send you strength and love. Know we are all there by your side in spirit and fluttering just as strong as we can. Meanwhile continue to enjoy the memories and savor each and every single minute. Kim

[molly muffin]

Dearest Sonja, I just know that Apollo appreciates this time that he has with you and the special bond that will always be there.

hugs,
Sharlene

[Boriss McCall]

My heart breaks for you. big tight hugs..

[Bo's Mom]

Sonja,
My heart as well as the many other caring people you are surrounded by aches for you. This time with Apollo will always be there in your heart and in memories. You are making them very special...and we all admire you.

[sunshinehoman]

Sonja,

You are doing everything right! I know this is the hardest thing ever, we had to go through this last year with our baby Stormy :( I feel your pain and wish you all the strength to get through this hard time.
Apollo has an amazing mommy and loves you with all his heart as you do him!
Keep strong for Apollo!
Hugs
Shannon & Sunshine

[Bailey's Mom]

Hi Sonja-
I want you to know I am here for you still and always will be. I would like you to know how brave I think you are. I would also like you to know I admire the steps you are going to take and, yes, hold Apollo securely (not too tightly), tell him how much you love him and how grateful you are to him for coming into your life. You may part soon for awhile, but you WILL be together again. And as someone said, or some poem said, when you arrive at what I choose to call heaven, you will find Apollo there romping and playing with all his old and all his newer friends. He will be fully healed and able to romp and play and breathe in ocean breezes. As soon as he sees you, he will bound across the fields to greet you and it will be as if you were never apart.

I am sending along all the strength I can to you. I will be thinking of you and Apollo often tomorrow. I am sending healing white light to you and hope these next few too fast, yet too long hours that there are go as smoothly as possible. I kept my two previous doggie's collars...but did not remove them until they had passed. I wanted them to feel as normal and as secure as possible in my arms. I had to tell my husband to remember to do this....I wasn't sure I would.

Stay strong for now. Tomorrow is another day.

Love,
Susan

[infoviewer]

Oh Sonja I am crying as I read this. You are so brave and such a wonderful caretaker. Sweet little Apollo has been such a comfort to you and such a trooper. I can just see him looking at you as you remember all the good times. As they all say the grief will lessen a little each day, but you will always remember and love Apollo. Everyone here is holding your hands and heart as you go through this difficult time. Love, JoAnne

[Squirt's Mom]

Dear Sonja,

My thoughts and prayers are with you all. Our brave, brave little warrior....

Hugs,
Leslie and the gang

[addy]

Apollo's bravery comes from your brave heart and soul for the bond between you is strong and true.

I wish I lived closer so I could help in some way. Words just seem inadequate, dear Sonja. I am so glad you have Renee.

Your strength is a inspiration to us all. We are always here for you and always will be. Never doubt that.


Love and prayers

[labblab]

I am here, too, Sonja. I am here, too. Sending prayers for our Apollo and for his family who loves him so dearly.

Sending hugs of peace and comfort from across the miles,
Marianne

[Roxee's Dad]

Dear Sonja,
I am so very sorry. My heart is heavy with your pain. Please know that Apollo knows he is loved so much not only by you but by all of us here. I will be keeping you and Apollo very close to my heart and in my thoughts. When that time comes that we all dread, just remember, you are taking away his pain and making it yours. The most unselfish and most difficult act of kindness you can ever offer.

(((HUGS)))

[apollo6]

Thank you all.
I have no words but thank you all. I have picked the picture of Apollo for the urn, and trying to come up with some form of eulogy for him.
he is cradled in my arms as I talk. I look at his sweet face and know soon I will only see it in my mind. My husband and I start talking about be prepared and start crying every time. so I am realishing every moment with him. Almost 14 years of love,companionship,fun,special moments. When the time comes there will be an empty hole in my heart.
LOve you all. Apollo is the only dog I ever had, and I picked the special, soulful one.
Hugs Sonja and Apollo

[Bailey's Mom]

Hi Sonja,

I just wanted you to know I am thinking of you and yours. You are going through such a difficult, hard time with grace and dignity. The pain is incredible but I can promise you it will not always feel that way. Take care, sweetie.

-Susan

[Cyn719]

Sonja

I came on to make a post on my thread....but I saw your post. Because of my issue I did not know this was happening..so my one post for today is here. All I can say as tears stream down my face is I know exactly how you feel..don't second guess yourself....you are a fantastic mom and did everything you could for Apollo. You need to know that. I am so glad you have the time to hold him before he goes..penny had to leave so quickly I didnt say my goodbyes like I wanted to. You gave him such a beautiful life.....but I know that doesn't help when it comes to the emptiness in the house and all the things of his left behind....it's so hard...I have issues with it everyday....but I try to hold on to the good memories.....please Sonja give Apollo the biggest hug and kiss for me.....you are all in my thoughts and prayers......love hugs prayers support strength.....Cindy xoxo

[molly muffin]

Sitting on plane, tears running down face. You are loved that is the one thing that Apollo knows.

Hugs
Sharlene

[marie adams]

Dearest Sonja,

I know how hard this time is, but you have never stop caring for and loving Apollo. Do not beat yourself up with the what ifs....it is easy for me to say that, but I know it is a hard thing to do--been there and done that.:(

Enjoy the moments you all have together and all the memories you have.

((((HUGS))))

[jmac]

Sonja,

You and Apollo are in my thoughts. I am so glad you have taken this time to just love him and spoil him. I am so sorry.

Julie & Hannah

[Bailey's Mom]

Warm, peaceful thoughts are being sent your way Sonja. You are not alone.
-Susan

[apollo6]

thank you all for your love and support. I will need more than ever.
It is getting closer and closer to the end. His body is starting to get cold. It could be any time know.
He fought so hard. Apollo loved to go to water therapy for walking. He loved the acupuncture and massages for his joints. I see his bright little eyes, people would always say his eyes were soulful. the holistic vet, said Apollo was special, a kind soul.
Love you all
Hugs Sonja and Apollo

[Cyn719]

Saying prayers for Apollo..he is a vey special kind soul for sure. I know this is awful for you and your husband......my prayers, thoughts, support and tons of strength are being sent to both of you. If you feel a warm feeling around you, that's me hugging you.....

Love Cindy xoxo

[Squirt's Mom]

Wrapping you all in our loving warmth, Sonja.

[sunshinehoman]

Huge hugs to you and Apollo!! Support and love to you and your whole family, we are with you and thinking about you guys every day

Shannon & Sunshine

[Squirt's Mom]

http://www.gratefulness.org/candles/candles.cfm?l=eng&gi=K9C

[Nika'sMom]

Sonja...I know that I am not active here, but believe me when I say that I so connected with you and your boy..the few PM's that we did share, are so very presious to me...I can barely see to type this, as it brings back memories for me for my 2 past loved furkids who passed in my arms..you have got to be one of THE MOST AMAZING pet parents that I have EVER had the pleasure of "meeting"..I wish that I was there with you right now while you are going through this, as does everyone else here as well. Bless you, for you are, who I wish, more people could be like...much love and smothering hugs to you at this time...Lynda and Nika

[addy]

We are here with you dearest friend. We hold you and Apollo close to our hearts.

[apollo6]

Dear friends
I am crying inside. Today at 1p.m. my sweet Apollo died in my arms. I felt something was wrong with Apollo this morning, his body was getting cold. I drove over to my mother's Mom held Apollo for awhile, and I just had this need to hold him. Apollo looked at me , signed and died into my arms.
Hugs Sonja and my angel Apollo

[Bo's Mom]

Oh Dear Sonja,
My heart is breaking for you. I am so sorry to hear that your sweet soul Apollo passed away. He knew you loved him and he is now going to watch over you.
Apollo,
Go wag your tail once again with all our fur babies waiting at the Rainbow Bridge. You are now the newest Angel in the sky.

[Rene]

For Sweet Sonja:



WHEN TOMORROW STARTS WITHOUT ME – Author Unknown


When tomorrow starts without me
And I’m not there to see,
The sun will rise and find your eyes,
All filled with tears for me.
I wish so much you wouldn’t cry
The way you did today
Remembering how I’d lay my head
In your lap that special way.
I know how much you love me
As much as I love you
And each time that you think of me,
I know you’ll miss me too
But when tomorrow starts without me
Please try to understand,
That an angel came and called my name
And petted me with her hand
She said my place was ready
In Heaven far above
And that I’d have to leave behind
All those I dearly love
But, as I turned to heel away
A tear fell from my eye
For all my life I never thought
That I would have to die.
I had so much to live for
So many sits and downs to do
It seemed almost impossible
That I was leaving you.
I thought about our lives together,
I know you must be sad,
I thought of all the love we shared
And all the fun we had.
Remember how I’d nudge your hand,
And poke you with my nose
The Frisbee I would gladly chase,
The bad guy, I’d “bark and hold”.
If I could relive yesterday
Just even for a while,
I’d wag my tail and kiss you,
Just so I could see you smile
But, then I fully realized,
That this could never be;
For emptiness and memories,
Will take the place of me
And when I thought of treats and toys
I might miss come tomorrow,
I thought of you and when I did
My dog-heart filled with sorrow
I’ve entered into eternity,
And how it welcomes you,
Today my life on earth is past,
But here it starts anew
I promise no tomorrow
But today will always last;
For you see, each day’s the same day
There’s no longing for the past
So when tomorrow starts without me,
Don’t think we’re far apart
For every time you think of me,
I’m right there, in your heart.


Rene & Angle Snoopie

[frijole]

Sonja, Wow. You knew it was coming and our dear Apollo spared you from having to make that tough decision as to when. I am glad you were holding him as tough as it had to be. He has joined so many other angels that are now taking care of him until you meet again. Run free brave soul and know you were deeply loved by all of us who got to know you. No more pain, run with the wind, romp, play dear angel Apollo. Sonja, thanks for sharing him with all of us. Love from Kim and angels Annie and Haley

[MBK]

Oh, Sonja. My heart is breaking for you. As hard as it must have been, you were lucky to have been holding your sweet baby in your arms. He spared you from having to make that decision for him and it sounds like he faded away peacefully, right where he loved being. He was a brave little trooper right up until the end. Words seem so inadequate. Just know we are all crying with you. Thank you for sharing Apollo with us. You were an amazing mom to an amazing little guy, with the most amazing soulful eyes.

All our love.

[infoviewer]

So sorry Sonja. I cry for you and Apollo, but you held him until he passed away. No more pain for him. I know the tears are flowing. I pray that you will have peace shortly. Love JoAnne

[jmac]

Sonja,

I am sitting here crying with you. I am so sorry you lost your baby, but I am so glad you were with him and that he was in your arms. Although I am sure you are really struggling, at least you did not have to make that difficult decision about when it was time to let him go. He did it himself and I think he chose to go in his favorite place, your arms. Remember that he is no longer in any pain, and that he is happily running and playing, and meeting some new lady friends while he waits for you to join him. I am thinking of you and sending you strength to get through this, and hoping you will soon feel peace, knowing that Apollo is strong again.

Julie & Hannah

[addy]

Sister in Battle, your courage and strength never wavered, never faltered as our little warrior was heroic and went on his terms as it should be, in your arms, he laid down his sword and you laid down yours and the last breathes were taken together, sleep came, his heart to yours.

The tears will flow for a long time but please take comfort in knowing the peace Apollo found, those final moments, in your arms, wrapped in your forever love.

I am so deeply sorry, dearest friend, so very deeply sorry.

alll my love,
addy

[Tina]

Oh Sonja, I am crying my eyes out. I am so so sorry, but so thankful that he was in your arms for his last moments and that you did not have to make the horrible decision of when was the right time. My heart goes out to you and your family. Apollo is no longer in any pain and is running free with all the other angel pups.

Love and many hugs,

Tina and Jasper

[Cyn719]

Sonja

My heart goes out to you....I am just glad he was in your arms when he passed. He was a little trooper for sure and you are just an amazing mom! You gave that little guy all the loved he could of wanted and more! Always remember that.....my tears are streaming down my face....I will post again to you.....

Love hugs prayers my friend

Cindy xoxo

Godspeed Angel Apollo...you will always be remembered
Penny will be waiting for you with all the others

[Boriss McCall]

Sonja..
What an amazing mom you are. You showed your baby love so much love. I know it is so hard to say good bye. The pain feels so unbearable. The memories & Apollo's love will always be there & the pain will lessen. I am so glad you didn't have to add to the pain by making the horrible decision. Apollo got to stay wrapped up in the love of his mamas arms until the very end. What a special baby.
hugs

[Steph n' Ella]

Apollo had everything he needed today, your support and warm arms to help him cross the rainbow bridge.

~Steph and Ella

[Bailey's Mom]

Sonja I am sorry for your loss. Again, I admire you for sharing with us this part of your life. Your description sounds so very peaceful. You had spent so much "special" time with Apollo recently and I am sure he felt comfortable, wrapped in your love and warmth and free to move on. He's looking down on you now saying..."GOOD JOB, Mom!! Thank you for all your love and for letting me feel free enough to let out a sigh and then to move on."

I am so sorry this has to be so very hard for you. Somebody messed up on the assembly line when it came to "Expected life span for doggies?" It was supposed to be not 10 - 20 years but 10 - 20 decades.

Hugs,
Susan

[sunshinehoman]

Dearest Sonja

So sorry for the loss of your baby Apollo :( I know that Apollo was so happy to be in your arms until the end. Know that you are the best mommy ever and Apollo will always be grateful to you for making his life so wonderful and giving him so much love!

Shannon & Sunshine

[Rene]

Sweet Sonja,

If you are reading this tonight, on the eve of Apollo's passing, know that you are not alone.

Your friend and your Cushings family most certainly has not layed their head down tonight without wanting to put our loving arms around you to comfort you.

We want to lay with you and grieve. We are so sorry for your loss and understand like most cannot.

I have had the privilege of experiencing first hand your sacrifice, devotion and love of your "little warrior", Apollo.

Do not mistake that you have made exactly the right decisions for our little man. I am certain of this. Many can learn the lesson from you of listening to the heart.

You have been the best mother a little sole can ever hope to have.

I love you,
Rene & Angle Snoopie

[Spiceysmum]

Dear Sonja,

I am so sorry to hear that Apollo has passed away. I know how heartbroken you must be and my thoughts are with you.

Linda x

[mypuppy]

Omg, that's so sad. I am so deeply saddened Sonja. you were both so blessed to have each other. rest little Apollo. you will always be remembered with so much love.

god bless and tight hugs.

Xo Jeanette and Princess

[mytil]

I am so very sorry dearest Sonja.

My healing thoughts and prayers
(((hugs)))
Terry

[Jenny & Judi in MN]

he had such a happy life with you. I'm so sorry for your loss. Judi

[Altira]

Well at least it sounds like he died peacefully. We thank God for that. I'm crying too. So sad. 8:::

[lulusmom]

Sonja, I am so very sorry. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

Godspeed, sweet Apollo

[Squirt's Mom]

Dearest Sonja,

There are no words to adequately describe what my heart holds. You and your husband lost a child, and there is no pain in the world like facing the time that follows such a loss. Our grief colors everything we see, everything we hear, every facet of our beings and world. We reach back in desperation for those memories that brought us joy, only to find questions and guilt. The voices in our heads start clamoring, telling us we should have done this, not that; we should have said that, not this; if only, if only, if only.....

But the bottom line is this - our children were given to us, to us Sonja, because there was no one in this world who would love them or care for them any more than we did. They were entrusted to our care because our care was exactly what our children needed and no one else could give that to them. They were meant to be ours, and we meant to be theirs. We gave them our very best, honey, our very best....and our very best was perfect because everything we did or didn't do, said or didn't say, came from that place where our love for them lived and thrived and will always remain.

Please be gentle with yourself, Sonja. You gave your heart and soul to Apollo, you fought beside him day after day with all your might, and I know he loves you dearly for every second of his time with you. There is no question in my mind that as he left this Earth, his heart was filled to bursting with that love. Even though his body failed as all must, his Spirit will always remain. That Spirit remembers nothing of the pain his body bore, but only remembers the tenderness and joy and security he found with you and your husband.

Our deepest, sincerest sympathies to all,
Leslie, Squirt, Trinket, Brick, Tasha, and our Angels, Ruby and Crystal


A Special Gift
They're a very special gift, to be cherished and loved;
You're chosen for each other by God Himself above.
It's a match made in heaven so it can't be wrong;
You're tied together by a bond that's oh so strong.

All they'll ever ask from you is to be loved and fed,
And at night make sure they have fresh water and a bed.
In return, for so little, the rewards are so great!
You'll get a companion for life with some very special traits.

When you are lost and the end seems so far away
They'll walk by your side, they'll help you find your way.
When life gets you down they can put a smile on your face
As they run you in circles with their fast pace.

You'll share the good with the bad, you'll be happy and sad;
And through it all you have a friend, the best you ever had.
You're time together will be special and unique;
It will be as priceless to you as a rare antique.

Then, before you know it, the day will arrive
When suddenly your life takes a steep dive.
The furry friend who's been with you for all of these years
Has now passed on and left you in tears.

As you sit and wonder what did I do?
Why is this all happening to you?
Into each of our lives a little rain must fall,
And you must be strong to answer the call.

Your little one's spirit has flown home on the wings of a dove,
To a special place that awaits them in heaven above.
St. Francis will meet them; when they get home
He will take them to a meadow where they're free to roam.

There in the meadows, down by the pond,
Your furry friend will remember his loving bond.
He'll look into the water, then you appear;
He can see you're frightened, he can feel your fear
He'll look into the water, then you appear;
He can see you're frightened, he can feel your fear
Through the bond that still ties you from heaven above
He looks down upon you, he sends you his love.

Through the bond that still ties you from heaven above
He looks down upon you, he sends you his love.
Because you loved him and because you care
Whenever you need him, he'll always be there.

There, in the meadows, they patiently wait for the day
When you will celebrate your life together, each and every day.
Waiting for that day; when you come walking back home
When together for an eternity through the meadows you'll roam.
Author Unknown

[labblab]

Fare thee well on your new journey, sweet little boy. I know you were greeted with muzzle licks and tail wags from all our angels as soon as you made your passage.

Sonja, my heart breaks for you, though. Sending you hugs of strength in the midst of your sorrow this first morning without your dearest boy by your side. I am praying that you will feel his spirit safely cradled in your heart.

Marianne