Maddie/11 yr. old Aussie/Lysodren (Dear Maddie has passed)

[addy]

I will stress with you. I would not want you to have to stress alone.

Don't you wish we could retire? I fully understand the pain of work:rolleyes:

I am only thinking positive thoughts that this will all turn out okay, Marie.

Maybe we should start a deep breathing on line thread. We can all breath together to get rid of the bad energy and stress.:D

Five hundred and counting of us going breathe in, breathe out. We could all take turns writing that:rolleyes:

Okay, I am now going off the deep end. Gotta run to work. Will check in with you later.

Love,
Addy

[Squirt's Mom]

They say a butterfly fluttering on the West Coast will cause a hurricane in the Far East. Can you imagine if we all started deep-breathing in unison! :eek::p

[marie adams]

Thanks for the thoughts Addy & Leslie and yes if we could only breathe together so all the energy could go into making it all better. Isn't there the saying that God will not give you more than you can handle...the handling tests should built character and more knowledge; I just wish it felt like it at the time..:(

I so have to remember to enjoy time together. If Maddie can still jump up into the planter to chase little critters it must not be so bad or she has the highest threshold of pain I have ever seen. It still seems like she isn't in any pain just uncomfortable, but I cannot see how it cannot be somewhat painful when your leg is 3x the size it was and very tight.:confused::confused: If it is a tumor it is crazy it can grow that fast.

Ok back to the positive thoughts with the breathing--in - out - in - out....:o

Now for the retiring--yes it would be nice, but I would take a little time off to not have to think about it and concentrate on my own personal things...work keeps me young--haha isn't that what they say--keep using your mind. I want to be my neighbor who is like 84 or close to it who still walks his dog twice a day, still goes to his ranch in New Mexico and rides his horse--even gets bucked off occassionally. He still goes deer hunting on horseback---so I am going for that frame of mind. I will figure it out some day, but for now I will be a little crazy so people beware not to get in my way on the highway -- a crazy female can do just about anything....haha!!!

[marie adams]

I got back Maddie's stem results--far better than I thought--I guess upping the dose worked because Pre was 4.0 and post 4.4 so I do not have to load her. Last time it was Pre in the 5's and Post in the 8"s

Now her other results--for the mass on her hind leg

Description:
The slides are cellular containing large numbers of slighly degenerate neutrophlis with increased numbers of macrophages. Some of the macrophages are activated and vacuolated and contain erythrocytes. There are a few small lymphocytes with an occasional plasma cell. There is also moderate numbers of spindle cells. The spindle cells have round to oval nuclei with moderate amounts of elongated and basophilic staining cytoplasm. Bacterial and fungal agents are not identified.

Microscopic findings:
Mixed cell imflammation with spindle cell proliferation, fibroplasia versus a spindle cell tumor.

Comment:
There is evidence for mixed cell inflammation but there is also spindle cell proliferation. Even though bacterial and fungal agents are not identified they cannot be elminated from consideration. Recommend a bacterial and fungal culture if not done. Spindle cells usually indicated fibroplasia or spindle cell tumor. Fibroplasia frequently accompanies inflammation. Therefore, the spindle cells are likely to be fibroblasts that are participating in the inflammotory reaction. However a spindle cell tumor cannot be eliminated from consideration. Biopsy with histopathology is necessary in this case to differentiate fibroplasia from a spindle cell tumor.

I am not sure what this means since I have not spoken to the doctor.
I guess I need to know what can be done for either case and the quality of life it will represent for Maddie. :confused:

Any comments are welcome....:o

[addy]

Okay, we have good news: no loading for Maddie Girl!! Good job, Marie.

Now we just have to sort out the rest. Breathe in, breathe out until you speak to the doctor.

Love ya,
Addy

[marie adams]

As much as I was happy with the stem results, the leg results are not good. It seems it will involve so much just to even figure out what type of cancer it is----still do not understand the oncologists statement of it could be 500 different types but until we do a biopsy we don't know. I thought the pathologist said a fibroplasis vs. spindle cell tumor. It could be connective tissue or mucus type he said. They will have sedate her to do the biopsy and even when they know it could be they cut out, I read on spindle cell tumor could even remove the limb. Chemo, radiation and who knows what will be involve and still no quarantees. It might spread it might not--it has spread so fast now; it was only on Nov. 21st when the new vet checked her out and she said she had not felt anything on her hind leg....everyday it looks bigger and feels tighter.

So now is the call for quality of life. I have to respect Maddie for who she is and what we as a family feel is quality of life for all of us. To see her have to hobble around even after putting her through all of the surgeries, etc. wouldn't be quality of life for any of us especially her even though she is the toughest dog I have ever seen--she still went for walk this morning in the rain. She has such a hard time laying down and getting up...:( It breaks my heart to see her this way--my buddy. My husband said it is out of our hands and never was because it was the path that was chosen for her. She doesn't look old so it is hard, but we have all had the best most wonderful 12 years together and nothing can change the stories we have or what she has done for us.

Time is short now and just enjoy what we have--haven't completely figured out what, but just like when we knew it was time for the cat it will be time for Maddie.:(

[labblab]

Dear Marie,

I have been feeling worried about Maddie ever since reading how quickly this mass seems to have formed. And now, with these initial lab results, I do understand what you are fearing. We will be right here with you all in these coming days. And I know that whatever you decide will be what is best for Maddie, because you are guided by love. Your love can never fail you. And you will never fail Maddie.

Sending many hugs to both,
Marianne

[littleone1]

I'm so sorry to hear about Maddie's mass, Marie. As Marianne said, I also know that you will do what's best for Maddie. I'm keeping all of you in my thoughts and prayers.

[StarDeb55]

Marie, I am very distressed to hear of Maddie's situation, but I may be able to offer a very small glimmer of hope. Are you in an area of S. Calif where you have Valley Fever? Even if it's only a remote possibility, I would ask that Maddie be checked for it. Valley fever is very common in pups in the desert areas of Arizona, & can have some very weird presentations when it comes to symptoms. The way I read the report is that cancer is a distinct possibility, but until some type of infection can be ruled out, cancer is not the only explanation. Dogs will frequently present with unexplained masses or lameness with Valley fever, so it might be worthwhile asking Maddie's vets, IMO.

Debbie

[addy]

Marie, I am going to hang on to that glimmer of hope from Deb. If it is still a possibility there is an infection causing the mass could that be why it seemed such rapid growth?

I am here for you, as we all are, Marie. We all love you and Maddie.

Love,
Addy

[Squirt's Mom]

Dear Marie,

When I read your post last nite, my heart just fell. :( Like Marianne, the rapidity with which this swelling occurred was frightening but I so hoped for some other explanation. Debbie's thought is worth checking out, tho. I remember a pup who came here a few years ago who had Valley Fever and his symptoms were very strange indeed. The last I heard, Max is doing very well, tho.

Know you are not alone, honey. We are here with you and Maddie as you face the days to come; you always have a safe place to fall here where loving arms are ready to catch and hold you as long as needed.

Hugs and belly rubs,
Leslie and the girls - always

[Casey's Mom]

Prayers for you and Maddie girl Marie.

Love and many hugs,

[frijole]

Prayers from my home as well. Hugs to dear Maddie and you! Kim

[marie adams]

Thank you all for your kind and loving words of support--I truly appreciate it and need it!!!

Well, I called the vet yesterday to ask if there was anyway possible way it might be Valley Fever, they indicated really didn't think so with the test coming back with cancer indicators. Of course they could test for it, but from my reading it could still come back negative even if she had it. I am just wondering if giving her the recommended medicine for Valley fever if it would hurt her or maybe help with the growing of the mass and make it more comfortable for her--she doesn't seem to be in pain just awkward to get up. Can I give her advil to help her? Still giving her all her regular stuff.

My husband says to stop doing this to myself. She has had the best life and we with her. She will tell us when it is time just like she has told us everything else.

I didn't think this was going to be this hard, but then I knew it would if that makes sense....

Merry Christmas!!!! I am sooooo behind and still have to work--like I am doing a good job of that, but it does take my mind off of thinking.

[jrepac]

Thank you all for your kind and loving words of support--I truly appreciate it and need it!!!

Well, I called the vet yesterday to ask if there was anyway possible way it might be Valley Fever, they indicated really didn't think so with the test coming back with cancer indicators. Of course they could test for it, but from my reading it could still come back negative even if she had it. I am just wondering if giving her the recommended medicine for Valley fever if it would hurt her or maybe help with the growing of the mass and make it more comfortable for her--she doesn't seem to be in pain just awkward to get up. Can I give her advil to help her? Still giving her all her regular stuff.

My husband says to stop doing this to myself. She has had the best life and we with her. She will tell us when it is time just like she has told us everything else.

I didn't think this was going to be this hard, but then I knew it would if that makes sense....

Merry Christmas!!!! I am sooooo behind and still have to work--like I am doing a good job of that, but it does take my mind off of thinking.

Hi Marie...

Sorry to read about Maddie's condition; I'd say make her as comfortable as possible. They do sell "doggy aspirin" in the stores, if you think that will help her feel better. A friend of mine was in a similar situation 7 years ago w/her American Eskimo doggy. She was going on 14 years old and suddenly developed this fast growing tumor. They were able to remove it, but sadly, little Snowflake was on borrowed time :(

I am sure you will do your very best for Maddie.

Jeff & Angel Mandy

[addy]

Oh Marie,

I have been praying and praying for you and Maddie and hoping against hope that some how the indicators were not true. That it is an infection of some kind.

Could the vet give you a pain medication if she needs it? I don't know about giving her advil.

And of course your husand is right she has had a wonderful life with you. But I know in some ways, that makes it even harder for you. It takes me back to the saying "the pain is so bad because the joy is so great."

Tell her every morning how much you love her. Try to take it one day at a time.

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family and I wish I could take out my magic wand and make it all go away for you and Maddie.

All my love,

Addy

[marie adams]

Thank you Jeff and Addy,

I love the "pain is so bad because the joy is so great"... I keep searching for the magic wand myself, but it is no where to be found--just not fair...:(

I know her time is near and she still amazes me how she tries so hard to take care of herself. Right now she is lying in front of the fireplace on her horse blanket covered by her ducky blanket sleeping. She didn't sleep must last night and neither did I.

I think, how could the vets have done anything with tests or anything since she has gone down hill in a week's time from finding all this out. But I think it is I wanted answers and they just weren't there--won't ever know why this went so rapidly, out of our hands.

Take care all!! Thank you for your thoughts and prayers...

[Squirt's Mom]

Hi Marie,

I love the image of Maddie sleeping under her ducky blanket. How sweet!

We are here for you and Maddie any time, Marie. Our thoughts and prayers continue.

Hugs,
Leslie and the girls - always

[addy]

I'm praying for you and our Maddie Girl, Marie.

We never know why or how things fits into the grand scheme of things. Sometimes the answers we want are just not there.

I will hold onto that image of Maddie and her ducky blanket.:) It makes me smile to picture it.

We are here for you, sending you tens of thousands of hugs, we are here to listen and to cry with you and for whatever else you need right now.

Give Maddie kisses for me.

Love,
Addy

[maggiebeagle]

Marie,
I was in your place a year ago, knowing my time with Maggie was short and trying to make the most of it. The anticipation of the pain her absence would bring was overwhelming.
We took the time we had to cuddle and spoil, and remember happy times and the joy she brought to us.

[frijole]

Sending love, Kim

[Franklin'sMum]

Dear Marie,

Sending love and prayers to you and yours.

Jane, Franklin and Angel Bailey xxx

[littleone1]

You and Maddie are in my thoughts and prayers, Marie.

[marie adams]

Thanks each and everyone for your thoughts and prayers.

She is still hanging in there--tough as always. When she is outside she can get herself up to take care of business and then back to laying down. She has trouble walking with her right leg weak from the cushings anyways and her left with the growth on it. I am wondering if the diarriha is from the cancer growing and making the passage of fluids smaller. She seems to not urinate as much, but maybe that is from not being as active and not drinking as much as before. I make sure I get the water for her if she doesn't get it herself. I am giving her a little pumpkin to help keep things not so runny, but there is mucus and I notice a tiny amount of bright red blood--could be the straining going on causing all of this. Maddie is just very slow and only eats out of my hand except the pumpkin and a scrambled egg from a plate. What a princess she is....she deserves it. I know she is uncomfortable, but not in pain if that makes sense--she is still gentle when we help her and not trying to bite us. I think she is tired of me fussing and staring at her all the time. I would be...:o

I have called the vet, but haven't heard back--that makes me more nervous because I have choosen not to treat the cancer--of course I never told them this--hasn't even been 2 weeks since we found out. I just want to know what all this means with her symptoms right now--if this is part of shutting down or something else...she just looks so good in ways---barked at someone walking by the house--still the guard dog.

Thanks again for being there!!!

[addy]

Oh Marie,

Please give Maddie girl tons of kisses on her head for me, though they say doggies don't like that, I do it anyway:)

Sending lots of hugs to you and still praying for all of you.

All my love,
Addy

[marie adams]

Addy, thanks for the kisses and hugs for Maddie!!! How did you know she hates them.....:D:D She seems good today--eating and pooping. Doesn't walk so good, but that won't get better. I haven't given her medicine/lyso for a while might try today--she has been refusing to eat her raw chicken so the pills not wanting to take--she usually is good about it--we will see later today.

The vet didn't call back so not sure why...I will just figure all the signs out myself--there is the internet, but with all going on with her it might not be the same. I will see how she gets along and judgement call from there. I hope someone is there for me when I get old like this---haha!!!! It is a lot of work and sleeping on the couch not so much fun, but when she has to go out I am there....she just amazes me....

Take care of you and yours!!!

[Squirt's Mom]

Maddie is lucky to have you by her side, Marie. I know she is loving the attention!

Hugs,
Leslie and the girls - always

[addy]

Hi Marie,

Just checking in to see how you and Madie are doing and hoping you both will have a good day.

Are you having crazy weather? We have 50 and thunderstorms today. All the snow melted and now my little Koko is suspious of the grass and wants to only poo in snow:rolleyes: I have one little patch this morning but after this afternoon he is out of luck:p Tomorrow a cold front will come through puttting temps in teens:eek:

I hope your lake front property has not turned into a river boat!!!!!!

Hugs and Kisses,
Addy, Zoe and silly Koko

[marie adams]

Well, today was the day we had to finally make that most dreaded decision in the last 12 years....Maddie has crossed over the Rainbow Bridge. :(

It has been a tough week, she still refused to give up on her diginity and continued to venture outside even though it was so very hard for her to walk. She would take care of business and come back in to lay on her blanket. The cancer spread so fast--only a couple of weeks since it was diagnosed.

I have good moments and then the tears start, but I know it was for the best because she was not Maddie, but still ate and drank for me. I wanted her to go peacefully at home, but it just wasn't in the cards that were dealt. The words we say is -- it just isn't fair she is gone, but what a wonderful life we all had together and we have all the stories to tell and remember. They asked me if I wanted her ashes and I said no she will always be in my head...

Thank you all for your thoughts and prayers...mine are with all of you on this journey we have to go through--never thought it would be this hard.

[frijole]

Dear Marie,

Oh I am so sorry to hear this. I know this had to be a hard decision but that our dearest Maddie is running free of pain along with my Haley and all her 'cush cousins' now. You are right - she will live on in your memory and heart. No one can take that from you. May those memories give you comfort over the coming days. Much love. RIP dear angel Maddie. We will miss you. Kim

[zoesmom]

Oh, Marie -

I know you are absolutely heartbroken. It is so hard to let go, but it is our love for them that helps us to make that hardest of decisions. Godspeed, Maddie girl. You will be greatly missed. Sue

[Franklin'sMum]

Marie,

I am so very sorry to hear of Maddie's passing. My heart is with you and your husband. Please know we are thinking of you, and are here for you.

Sending thoughts, prayers and healing (((hugs)))
Love, Jane, Franklin and Angel Bailey xxx

[Sabre's Mum]

Marie

I am so sorry to hear of Maddie's passing. My thoughts are with you.

Take care
Angela and Flynn

[Spiceysmum]

Marie,

So sorry to hear about Maddie. She had a long and happy life but it's never long enough is it? Thinking of you.

Linda

[littleone1]

I am so sorry to hear about Maddie, Marie. Even though it was a very difficult decision, you did what was best for Maddie. She is now free from pain and suffering. She knows she was, and still is loved very much.

Rest in Peace Maddie. Godspeed.

[addy]

Dearest Marie,

My thoughts have been with you every day and when I read your post-----. It is so hard for us to do what is best for our pups, it takes so much strength and courage, these things you have always shown and I have admired so.

Although I have never had the privilege to meet our Maddie girl, I felt I was able to know her through your posts. She will always be with you in your heart and soul and I am grateful she will always be a part of me as well.

I hope the pain eases in the coming days and there will come a time you can smile when you see a picture of your girl.

My prayers and thoughts are with you and your family.

Love,
Addy

[Squirt's Mom]

Dear Marie,

Your sweet, sweet Maddie is free of all her pain. She has before her an eternity of youth, strength, and joy across The Bridge running and playing with all those who have gone before. She was met by a whole host of friends, new and old, who will keep her company until she is reunited with her family once again.

Maddie had it all with you and yours by her side - a life of love, safety and security and when that life no longer held joy for her, you gave her the greatest gift of all - freedom.

We are here any time you want to talk.

Our deepest sympathies,
Leslie, Squirt, Trinket and our Angels, Ruby and Crystal

[Roxee's Dad]

Dear Marie,

I am so very sorry for you loss of Sweet Maddie. My heart is heavy with sadness. Maddie knows she was and is loved.

Rest in peace sweet girl, you are our newest and brightest star in the sky.

[lulusmom]

Marie,

I am so very sorry for your loss. Maddie had the best life possible, thanks to you, and no doubt, she brought much joy to your life in return. My thoughts and prayers are with you during this very difficult time.

Godspeed sweet Maddie.

Glynda

[marie adams]

Thank you all for such kind words for the Maddie Girl.

As I woke up this morning I thought of how the whole house has a part of Maddie in it. When I heard the geese honking as they flew over the house; everything in our lives was touched with Maddie in it. Going downstairs I knew it would be hard since the day started with Maddie being there to help make coffee, get her almonds as my husband ate his breakfest or the little snacks as I made his lunch, and then our walks in the wetlands--just so many thoughts going through your head. My daughter said it will be so different when coming home and Maddie won't be there to greet you...but it is a good thing to have all these thoughts because she was a part of us and those memories will always be there just not so hard to feel as they are now. We are so grateful to have had Maddie in our lives just wish it could have been longer, but what a wonderful joyful 12 years it was...

Thank you again for being there because we all have to go through it just didn't think it would be so hard...:(:(

Hugs to you all!!!! Give your your whole family hugs and cherish all the time you have with them--enjoy them!!!!:)

[BestBuddy]

Marie,

I am so sorry. My heart is with you and your family.
Another angel has their wings.

Jenny

[Nathalie]

Dear Marie,

I am so very sorry about your loss. My heart goes out to you.
My sincere condolences.
Nathalie

[jrepac]

Dear Marie,

So sorry to hear that Maddie has passed on. I am certain she knew how much you loved her :)

Now she is free of pain and can frolic w/the other cushpups up there!


Jeff & Angel Mandy

[gpgscott]

Marie, I believe thier dignity comes from simple honesty.

Blessings to you and Godspeed to Maddie.

Scott

[Casey's Mom]

Marie, I grew to love your Maddie through your posts. She was a farm dog like my own and had such strength of character. My heart grieves for you and your family. Fly free sweet Maddie girl.

Love and hugs,

[foxandhound]

many, many wishes of loving, fun, and wonderful memories until you meet again. lots of love and hugs to you and your family.

[John II]

Dear Marie & Family,

I am so very sorry for your loss.
My thoughts and prayers are with you. :(

[marie adams]

Each day has its ups and downs. Remembering is good, but sad because we won't have the time together to share. We all keep looking for her...:(:(

Today I was taking pictures of the flowers and the card one of our dog friends left on our door step--they were beautiful and the message they wrote in the card was so heartfelt fitting Maddie perfectly. As I was taking my shower this morning I thought of Maddie's favorite flower--do dogs have favorite flowers???--well Maddie's were Zinnias if they were growing in the garden she ate them--I would get a little mad at her, but.... So I decided each year I will plant Zinnia seeds in her honor.:D:D

[Squirt's Mom]

Hi Marie,

I think that is a wonderful idea! Maddie will love them!

Hugs,
Leslie and the girls - always

[addy]

Marie I think planting zinnias is a perfect idea. I grow them from seed quite easily. You can throw the seeds everwhere.:D

I bet Maddie is quite pleased right now and proud of her Mom.

The flowers will be beautiful just as Maddie was.

Hugs,

Addy

[marie adams]

Thanks Leslie and Addy,

They do grow easily and they are so cheerful. I got a rememberance card from the vet today and enclosed was a little card with an outline of a dog with wildflower seeds glued down that I can lay down in the garden--that was nice of her.

I hope all is well with both of you and your little loved ones!!!!:D:D

((((Hugs to All)))) and thanks for mine!!:):)

[addy]

Sending more hugs for you today:)

Thanks for being there for me when you are hurting too.

Love ya,
Addy

[caroleh]

Dear Marie:

I too am sorry to hear of your loss. I recently lost my Schnauzer, Fritz. I was a total mess for two weeks but I am so much better today. I had to concentrate on relieving myself of the guilt. Time does heal and we will always have such wonderful thoughts of our precious furry friends. Dogs have souls so there is no doubt that all of our sweethearts will be waiting on Rainbow Bridge to unite with us and join us in eternal life.

Carole

[marie adams]

Thank you Carol and Addy for your words of comfort,

It was a long weekend and lonely, but have the memories we all have of our girl. Tried to get the weeds out of the garden to get ready for the zinnia seeds. I asked my husband where and he said all over the place!!!:D:D

Crossed the street to the wetlands path on Monday for the first time since....and felt my heart break:( because it was our place to walk, but then it was the whole family's place to spend time on walks, runs, bike rides., talking to the great people we met through Maddie and their dogs. I will finally make it out there to start walking again--need to lose the pounds I have gain with the stress of this last year. It has been almost a year since I came to know everyone here and wouldn't trade it for anything.

Take care all!!!:)

[Squirt's Mom]

Hi Marie,

This morning I was looking at some pics of pups in shelters on FB and out jumped my CRYSTAL! This pup had head cocked, ears up, light colored eyes, honey gold coat....and I knew, just knew I was seeing a pic of my beautiful golden-eyed girl - and that horrific last day came rushing back like it was happening all over again.

My mind knows there was nothing that could have been done for Crys but my heart keeps screaming, "But maybe...", "But, what if...". And worst of all - "YOU did this to her!" "YOU let it happen!"

I could have done some things differently and Crys would probably still be with me. But her life would not have been the happy, goofy, loving and enjoyable one she did have, even tho it was short. Until that awful moment, she lived her life to the fullest and was so very, very happy.

Those happy memories are the ones that save us, Marie. The ones where we can see the joy in their eyes as they pursue a favorite activity or sense a special treat on the way. The times those eyes turned on us with such amazing love and total acceptance. The grin on their faces as they walked with us and explored new things together. These are the things that sustain us. That and the belief that we will see them again one day. I know when my job her is finally over, one of the first things I will see is Crys, crouched down on her front legs, tail wagging furiously, grinning like a fool, prepared to leap on me the second I cross that Bridge!

For now, we cry when we need, we keep the good memories close, and we hold on to our belief of that day to come when we will once again hold them in our arms and smother their faces with kisses.

Hugs,
Leslie and the girls - always

[jrepac]

Every time I pass by a reminder that triggers a memory, I try to focus on the happy aspects of it, rather than the loss...it's not easy, but there are so many good things to remember from the time spent w/our little fur-balls. Lately, I've been thinking about both Mandy AND her predecessor....just a lot of reminders these last few weeks. You never do completely forget your babies, nor would you really want to.

I'm dealing w/my little puppy Pebbles right now, and sometimes she does stuff that totally reminds me of Mandy....it's sad at first, but then quite funny actually. I've forgotten the kind of trouble a puppy can get into ;) She is keeping me busy! And, this is just dealing w/her indoors; will be interesting when Spring comes and we venture outside...boy oh boy!:D


Jeff, Angel Mandy & "Baby" Pebbles

[addy]

I like hubby' s idea-Zinnias EVERYWHERE:D You will have a field of zinnias, a riot of color and you will think of Maddie Girl and feel at peace.

Oh Marie, try to hold the good times close to your heart so they may ease the pain.

I'm holding that box of Kleenex, we'll have a bit of a cry together. We could do that like the yoga breathing. It could be theraputic. A group cry. A group cry could be good;)

It would be a first.

Love you,
Addy

[marie adams]

Oh Leslie,

Thank you for your comforting words--I know the feeling when you see a picture that looks like your buddy and you remember the silly little things they would do. Maddie was all joy and such a tease at times. I am getting better with the guilt--I knew I couldn't do anything more for her, but be there and help. I know she hated the tears, but those eyes were still as loving as they always were.

Jeff,

Thank you for spending time with me and giving encouraging words to help get on with thinking of the joy and not the loss.

Addy, Addy, Addy,

Thank you for being there for me when all you want is answers for Zoe. I think the group cry would be a good thing along with the breathing. I am sitting in my car reading this and the tears are rolling right now--:o:o

I have ventured out on the internet to look for aussie puppies--they are soooo cute. I know nothing will replace Maddie, but what needs replacing is the walking buddy, the companion who follows you everywhere just to be there with you. It will take time, but it will happen.

((((Hugs to All!!!)))) Thank you!!!!

[addy]

Crying with you, would not want you to do that alone.

Love,
Addy

[marie adams]

I did it....I finally took that walk this morning with tears in my eyes most of the way. Good thing I didn't run into anyone I know or it would have been even harder.:(

As I was watering the front yard one of the people I would see walked by so I told her about Maddie. She said she knew exactly what I was going through. She then told me she has breast cancer, but caught it so she is doing great and I thought I had issues--it puts life experiences in order. She is so positive; so guess what--so can I.:o:o

I hope everyone has a great weekend!!:):)

[addy]

sending lots of hugs to you. so proud of you too, the walk was hard for you but you did it:)


hope your weekend is great and you have some fun things planned.:)

talking in short sentences because I have to get the pups to two diffferent groomers.

got Zoe's adrenal panel back. Give me your thoughts if you can, if not, I understand. I want you to have a good weekend.

Love ya,
Addy

[Casey's Mom]

Marie - I know that what you are going through is very very difficult - we are all with you holding you up and sending healing thoughts and much love.

[Squirt's Mom]

Hi Marie,

The pain and grief we bear is testament to the love we shared with our babies as is the struggle to face "what used to be" - like your walk. I know Maddie is so proud of you!

Hugs,
Leslie and the girls - always

[apollo6]

Dear Maria
I am so sorry for the loss of your Maddie angel. With tears I am writing.
By Ken D. Conover
To have loved and then said farewell, is better than to have never loved at all.
For all of the times that you have stooped and touched my head, fed me my favorite treat and returned the love that I so unconditionally gave to you.
For the care that you gave to me so unselfishly.
For all of these things I am grateful and thankful.
I ask that you not grieve for the loss, but rejoice in the fact that we lived, loved and touched each other’s lives. My life was fuller because you were there, not as a master/owner, but as my FRIEND.
Today I am as I was in my youth. The grass is always green, butterflies flit among the flowers and the Sun shines gently down upon all of God's creatures.
I can run, jump, play and do all of the things that I did in my youth. There is no sickness, no aching joints and no regrets and no aging.
We await the arrival of our lifelong companions and know that togetherness is forever.
You live in our hearts as we do in yours. Companions such as you are so rare and unique.
Don't hold the love that you have within yourself. Give it to another like me and then I will live forever. For love never really dies and you are loved and missed as surely as we are.
Your Pets in Heaven
With love Sonja and Apollo
Take time to grieve in your own way and shut the world out for awhile.

[addy]

Hi Marie,

Just checking in with you, hoping your weekend was relaxing.

Still sending lots of hugs for you. I'll pm you tomorrow so we can gab:D

Love ya girl,
Addy

[marie adams]

Thanks to all of you for your words of encouragement!!!:)

Each day it gets better and there are just slight moments of sadness, but I know we all have our moments. :o

I told someone today who's step son is in rehab for drugs that his wife should go to counseling for her son that if I didn't have all of you to help with all the cushings and the passing I would have gone nuts or should I say a little more nuts....:D:D

I even told someone at a vet's office that k9Cushings is the greatest thing for anyone going through this...

Take care All!!!:)

[Bichonluver3]

Oh, Marie, it is so good to see you back again. i know things must be periodically hard but Maddie would be so proud of you. we all missed you and hope you will stay with us awhile - we need YOU.
Love & hugs,
Carrol

[marie adams]

Thanks Carrol,

It is really hard to find GOOD people these days, so you try to hold on to them as best you can. So I will do my best to pop in and out and check on how everyone is doing...;)

My neighbor who dropped off flowers for Maddie after she died, we passed by each other on the trail this morning, but only waved and said hi--it was a good thing because I knew I would lose it with her, but I had already lost it anyways by the time I saw her. Well, she ended up emailing me saying she was sorry she didn't stop and that she owes me a hug, but it was toooo cold (37 F) to stop in her tracks and she wouldn't continue her run. Of course I emailed back it was ok and that I was having one of my moments and talking to the hubby. I told her that I owed her a (((hug))) for the flowers. So when we meet it will be a big hug.:D:D

Thanks again!!!

[Bichonluver3]

Hi Marie!
You can never have too many hugs:) Take all that offered and know that you get a gazillion from all of us every day. I pray that before too long those "moments" will be replaced by smiles remembering the happy times.
We live in the California desert so the sky is bright at night. I always look up to say goodnight to all the twinkling furbabies and, somehow, I just feel they are alright.
Please do check on us - we need you - and also let us know how you are doing.
Lots of love and warm hugs (there's another one!:D)
Carrol

[addy]

I sure hope you continue to check back because I would dearly miss you, Marie. We need you as much as you need us:D

Besides, you have to post pictures of Maddie's zinnias once you get to that project:)

Love ya and have a wonderful weekend.

Addy

[marie adams]

Addy and Carrol,

I know about the stars and the brightest is Maddie and all of our fur babies. I see it every morning.:):)

Got the zinnia seeds last Sunday and just a little more weeding to do--that is the problem with a big backyard and even the front to many places for those darn weeds to grow.

You cannot get rid of me very easily. We are all a good counseling hugging group for each other!!! :D:D

Happy Weekend!!:p

[addy]

Awwwww,



Group Hug, Group Hug




Love ya,
Addy

[marie adams]

Addy - LOL!!!! How you can put a smile on everyone's face!!:D:D

How is your smile???:D:D

[Bichonluver3]

Hey, and a GROOOOOOP HUG from me, too!
Love,
Carrol

[marie adams]

:):):):):):):)

[addy]

Hey Girl, I answered you on my thread. Gosh, I sure have missed you.

I was going to write something creative to you tomorrow since I have a furlough day:D.

How are you? Is everything going okay? Susan got the rod out of her foot. Did you read her thread? It will make you feel good, she is doing well.

I am hanging out, I came home from work today and I feel swollen glands coming on:eek::eek: Figures, I never got a flu shot this year. I usually get pneumonia in March which is not good because it is my birthday month.:rolleyes:

Hope the walks are getting easier for you. I also hope the weather has been good. We had so much snow in February, made up for the whole winter.

But- Spring is right around the corner. I have my Zinnia seeds I am going to plant for you and Maddie Girl. Picked up some packets the other day:)

Can't wait,
Love ya,
Addy

[addy]

Oh Marie, I am so sorry to hear of your mother. How hard this must be for you. To lose Maddie and your mom within a few months is so sad. Sometimes the world just turns so upside down.

Don't feel bad about the double post, I did the same thing on Carrol's thread yesterday. Must of been something in the air, don't you think?:)

Now I am not sure it was the food because Zoe has been having issues this week with no new anything.:eek:

When you are ready, the puppy will come. In the mean time you get to watch Little Miss Bailey and hear about Obi too on Deb's thread. He is quite the guy.

My deepest sympathy, Marie. Sending the biggest hugs in the world to you.

Love,
Addy

[apollo6]

Dear Marie
So sorry for the loss of your mother. Like Addy said two losses in a short period is tough.
Hugs Sonja and Apollo

[marie adams]

Dear Addy and Sonja,

Thank you so much for your kindness and sympathy. It does make it harder with having Maddie go around the same time.:( We all expected my mom to pull through yet again, but God had a different path this time. Atleast she now has both of her legs to stand and get around so she can be with her parents and brothers....:o

To top it off today when I was trying to sign up a new client - dog groomer--one of the little dogs bit me on the finger; so off I went to the prompt care to make sure everything okay--a tetnus shot and some bandages later I am on my way. Boy does it hurt--right next to the nail and on the bottom of the finger on the other side--this will teach me to pet their little heads and have one of the possessive ones go after me.

Thanks again!!!

[addy]

Hi Marie,

Checking in with you to see how Maddie's zinnia garden is coming along. I have another month before I can put my seeds down.

I am sending lots of hugs you way, just in case you need them :)

Has Susan's puppy given you a hankering? I was playing with a four month old puppy earlier in the week and was totally smitten.

Have a wonderful week end!!!!!



HUGS, HUGS AND HERE ARE MORE HUGS

Love,
Addy

[marie adams]

Hi Addy,

Yesterday not such a good day--job stress and all the other stress. I sure hope this quarter of the year is far better than this last one--how many things can go wrong in a person's life---oh aren't we suppose to learn a lesson here????? haha

I haven't even planted my seeds yet--the darn rain keeps threatening to wash them away so maybe this weekend. The tortoises have come out of hibernating. We have 2 males who in a few weeks will start their favorite past time of fighting with each other--Maddie use to break up the fights--what will happen now:eek::eek:

We are looking for a new little one all the time--have to wait for litters, they have to be the right color, sex, etc. And to top it off we have to qualify--haha--I told one I still have the battle scars to prove I can handle an aussie pup.:D

I hope the weather is being good to you!! No flooding possibilities, right???

Thanks for being there and thanks for the laughs with Susan & Baily--Carrol and you are so silly!!!:):)

[marie adams]

Oh Darn,

I thought I would have multiple puppies to choose from and darn if the majority turned out to be boys!!!:(:( I was shooting for a blue merle/female, but I think we might be headed in the direction of a black tri like Maddie. I think I am jinxed.:eek:

We will see....I so thought I would have a new buddy by the beginning of June...:o

I had a (I will call it this) nightmare that someone had taken Maddie to a groomer (I never took her I did it myself) and they butchered her fur--a few shaved spots, trimmed the fur on her belly too short, and she was mad at me and went wild...:eek::eek: What brought this on--I think learning the puppy supply was not what I had hoped for???--haha!!!

[addy]

Oh Marie, I am so sorry about the puppy. One will come along when you least expect it. I am so excited for you. This is wonderful news.

I gave up trying to figure out dreams. Most likely the puppy thoughts triggered your nightmare of Maddie Girl. You know, before I adopted Koko, I really wanted a second girl. I never had a boy dog.
Now that I have one, it is nothing like I thought. It is better:D:D:D

Love you and I hope I keep hearing that excitement in your voice. You deserve that so very, very much.

Love,
Addy

[marie adams]

Hey Addy,

Thanks!! You are always there for everyone. ((HUG))

I really love your story for Zoe's Birthday--I couldn't help commenting, but maybe I messed up the story telling....can we erase messages???:o

The last one made me a little teary eyed because I know that feeling of emptiness even though we have the cat that has the 50 First Dates syndrome--doesn't remember they couldn't get enough scratching the night before...right now it just isn't the same. I see the picture of Maddie on my computer (how dumb is that to have it stare at you) and all I want to do is scratch her between her ears and tell her how perfect she looked. It makes me think how will I replace her with so many expectations now that I have experienced her. I know that she is not replaceable, but this new one I will have expectations for it to live up to and I don't want to do that but....

Happy Thursday!!!

And I still don't want to work!!!!!:eek::eek:

[addy]

Darling Marie,

You did not mess up anything it was nice to know someone read it.

CAN WE RETIRE?



Happy Puppy hunting. Your new pupyy will have tall shoes to fill but they are usually up to the task and once their own personality shines through it all works out.

Love,
ADDY

[Casey's Mom]

Marie I am happy to hear you are puppy hunting :) Love will find you in the form of a new pup although you will never replace Maddie.

I just wanted to let you know I was like you and only wanted girls but now that I have babysat lots of boys I think I like them better. I find them more affectionate somehow.

Oh and I am sure others have told you this but you may find a puppy on an Aussie rescue site. I know all the breeds have rescue sights - you may get lucky.

Love and hugs,

[Casey's Mom]

Oh and by the way

I dont want to work either!! Can't we find a way to make money at playing with dogs all day?

[addy]

yes we can can find a way. we need to make a new ice cream doggie treat to market directly to dog friendly restaurants. Marie will do the West Coast, I'll have the Midwest and Casey- are you in Canada? We can then have doggie ice cream vendors like the ice cream man that go through the neighborhoods in the summer only they will have different flavors of doggie ice cream. Sell it outside doggie parks too!!!!

okay, now I realize I just told the whole world:eek::eek:

Hey, it is FRIDAY:D:D

Love,
Addy

[marie adams]

Addy,

I like your idea and I won't spread it around so we can keep the secret. I am willing to handle the West Coast and travel with my new buddy, but I think the hubby might object to that since he misses the dog as much as I do--he just doesn't get as emotional as I do; so we will have to trade off who gets to spend time with the new one Hahaha!!!:D:D

I love your story telling--you are good!!! Start writing again--doesn't this give you the feeling it's time again....:p:p

Enjoy your weekend!!! Party time for Miss Zoe!!!
Where are the balloon icons when you need them--let's talk to the moderators and administration and get more icons--like (((HUGS))) hehehe

[marie adams]

Hi,

Ellen, thanks for all the words of encouragement--I had boy dogs growing up so not against them. We just liked having a female--already have 2 male tortoises who fight all the time--silly boys!!!:rolleyes: Also had a male cat named Thurman--tough little booger--miss him to this day.

Rescue is a little hard since aussies are very senstive, smart for us it is better to start fresh to train and mold them into a great dog. You couldn't even yell at Maddie or say the word Bad--she would get upset--she always, almost always wanted to please...:) We might now have 2 Blue Merle pups to choose from...

Well, the ZINNIA SEEDS are planted; now we just need the weather to be warm and the sun to shine--yes it isn't always sunny in Southern California.

Darn Monday had to come around again so we have to work....:eek::D

[addy]

Hi Marie,

How nice the zinnia seeds are planted. I won't get mine in for Maddie Girl till JUNE!!!!! It snowed today:mad:

Guess what I saw in our paper? I saw an ad for an AussieDoddle. Never heard of that mix:confused: I was going to google it for a photo.

Love ya,
Addy

[marie adams]

You will know what it is when you see it kinda of like a labradoodle I believe--big curly furred dog.

June is okay to plant mine might still be trying to come up by then--last year they didn't do so well. There were a few for Maddie to munch on...:D:D

Four days left to the work week....:eek::D:eek::D Of course you might have Friday off because of Good Friday--I don't....:(

[addy]

No, I don't have off tomorrow:( All day today I thought it was Friday:eek:

The work day took forever to end. Those lick-A-Dee Splits are looking mighty tempting;):p

I did not know they made Doodles with Aussies. I guess they are doodling there way down the dog breed list:D:D:D

Here a Doodle, There a Doodle, Everywhere a Doodle. Ok, I admit I am a bit punchy.

I will try to load some photos tonight. HAVE A SUPER FRIDAY!!!!!

Love,
Addy

[marie adams]

Happy Friday!! We made it!!! Now we just have to get through the day.:p

The zinnia seeds are already sprouting I am amazed. I guess we had enough sunny and water to make the difference this year, but then it is a special crop for a special angel!!:)

Happy Easter!! Give Zoe and Koko hugs, oh and yourself!!:D

[addy]

Knock, Knock, is Marie Home?



Hi Girlfriend!!! How are Maddie's zinnias doing? Did they grow this week? You better take pictures once they start blooming.:):)

It is FRIDAY:D:D:D:D:D Okay, well, it is not quite Friday, it is Thursday night but it will be Friday really, really soon!!!!!!:p:p:p

I'm thinking another Conga line on the beach with the surfer dudes.
PARRTTTEEE on Susan's thread.:D:D:D

Love,
Addy

[marie adams]

Hello Miss Addy,

Yes those seeds are growing so good this year we will have to thin them. I was just thinking that once they bloom I will be taking pictures and sending them on to you!!! I cannot wait--hopefully those darn snails will not eat them. I am afraid to put out bait because we have killer snails that eat the regular snails. I guess I will just go on snail patrol each morning and throw the little boogers out in the street and maybe the birds will eat them.

I know, a conga line and cute surfer duds what a picture--reminds me of Snoopy dancing with his nose and ears in the air and his little feet flying around--you know the picture.:D:D:D :cool:

Where the heck is Carroll?????

Thanks for checking in!!! Maybe you could get Zoe and Koko to help in the garden without using the rake!! How is the ark coming along since you have the river in front???? hahahaha!!

[addy]

We went and looked at puppies on Saturday...it might be the one.

I need details, major details, OMG I am so excited for you. And you say it so calmly, like a "oh, by the way" kind of comment:cool:


GIRL, I NEED DETAILS:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D

Love ya,
Addy

[Casey's Mom]

Puppies??? Let us in on the news please :):)

[marie adams]

I posted some pictures of the puppies.

The one with their tongue sticking out is possibly the one we will get. The sire's person still needs to decide which one she will take, but we would take either one. I have always liked the single pictured one, but the hubby liked the other one with more black on her leg--this one is the smaller of the two so that is why the sire's person wants her. That is okay with me since Maddie was a large aussie--the bigger the better, but she will likely be a lot smaller than Maddie.

They are sooo cute. Only 4 weeks old--born on April 1st.

I am calm because I am a little nervous since I have so many expectations for it to live up to. I didn't have any with Maddie because we had never had a dog before and then to have that dog be Maddie....what if I am disappointed in how she turns out--I know this is silly, but....:o

Do not get me wrong I am excited, but it is going to be different and I am scared a little if that makes sense--how could you not be excited!!!:D And then there is the Puppy Hell to go thru:eek::eek: haha!! I should just call that Puppy and Owner Molding/Meshing together....:D:D

[addy]

Do not get me wrong I am excited, but it is going to be different and I am scared a little if that makes sense--

It makes perfect sense to me.:) Just go with the flow;)

Puppy hell does not last tooooo long;)

I like the pup with the tongue sticking out too. She has almost a "snow nose" pink and black. Koko has one. But the other is very beautiful too.

Ohhh booooyyyyy, we get to do names again, I love that part.

Love ya,
Addy

[marie adams]

I am pretty sure the name will be Ella--it is part of my mother-n-law's first name--hubby's idea from a while back. But we have to come up with a full name for papers. So that part could be fun.

Her nose should turn all black as she gets older. She has one blue eye and one brown we think.

Pup Hell will be fun, but.....:D They are so cute and such a ball of fur.

Thanks for understanding!!!

[littleone1]

I love the pictures, Marie. You'll be a great mom again. Even though it will be a lot of work, you'll be very successful at it.

[addy]

OMG and Sunday is Mother's Day.


It is an omen for sure

Love,
Add


I LOVE THE NAME ELLA ABSOULETY LOVE IT

[marie adams]

Thanks you guys!!!

Yes it is Mother's day the day we are suppose to do nothing, but somehow do most of it!!! Haha!!! Wouldn't trade it for anything!!!

Hugs to You Both!!!

[labblab]

Oh Marie, I've just seen the puppy pictures and both of them are precious!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am so excited for you, but definitely understand the butterflies in the tummy, as well. :o

I'll be anxiously awaiting each and every update! :) :) :) :) :) :)

Big hugs,
Marianne

[mytil]

Oh Marie,

I truly love your photos. And now a new chapter begins. :) What a sweetie pie Ella is. I know Maddie is smiling right now.

Puppy fun - yes, we were very nervous when we got ours. It was so funny that our friends thought we lost it when we went shopping for our new "girls", we got a cartload! :D

Please keep us posted
(((hugs)))
Terry (aka another Aussie lover)

[marie adams]

Thanks Marianne and Terry,

It is exciting and then sad at the same time. When I read "Maddie is smiling" I felt a touch of sadness and guilt...:(

It is all good, but now the waiting is hard. Then I think oh no I have things that need to get done before the pitter patter of little feet get into everything--haha!!!:D:eek:

Have a Great Weekend!!!:):)

[jrepac]

:p The puppy with the tongue sticking out is just adorable...she looks like a real winner! The other one is cute as well, but that photo is something else. I hope you get her soon.;) It's easy to forget how much work a puppy can be after having an adult for so many years...but there are so many FUN things about them! they are just so curious and active when they are little! You will have a ball with her, I am certain.

My new little one (Pebbles the Chihuahua) has totally settled into daily life now; took some time for her to adjust to her new home. Just a sweet little thing...all of 3.7lbs now. She just has several habits that remind me of my Mandy....guess she has some terrier in her! :rolleyes:

[I also heard back from the breeder that I got Mandy from...she just had a litter of Aussie terriers on Sunday; 3 girls, 1 boy, all red....told her to put my name on one of the girls! Can't wait for the pix :D]

Jeff & Angel Mandy

[addy]

Happy Friday Marie!!!!!

Any puupy news must be immediately posted:p:p:p Those are the rules:D:D:D

Any puppy pictures must be loaded within one day;););)

Sending hugs and kisses and wishes for a wonderful weekend and have VERY HAPPY MOM'S DAY!!!!!

Love,
Addy

[marie adams]

Hi Jeff,

Thank you for your kind words!!! I am so glad you have Pebbles and what great news on the puppy front--so excited!!!:):)

I am pretty sure the pup with the tongue out is ours, but the sire's owner has first choice. The smaller one has darker markings, but is really smaller right now. The breeder seems to think it will catch up as they get older. He has been doing this for a long time. And the last litter with the same parents had a smaller one who now is the same size as the rest.

Oh Dear Addy,

You are so funny. We all keep looking at the breeder's site to see if he updated the pictures--not yet. What is he thinking????:eek: We need pics--haha!!!

Have a Most Wonderful Mother's Day yourself!!! :) Get some pampering!!!!:D:D:):)

[addy]

Happy Monday Marie!!!!!

I hope you had a wonderful Mother's Day. I was a bit worried about it being a hard day for you so I am stopping by to make sure you are okay.

Hey, I even watched a Lady GAGA concert with my daughter Saturday night. I think I enjoyed Pink's concert more. We watched that together too a few months back. It is a new bonding experience, watching HBO concerts with my daughter. Keeps me YOUNG;););)

Have a wonderful day.

Hugs and love,
Addy

[marie adams]

Happy Tuesday Addy!!!

Thanks for stopping in and thinking about me. :)

I think that is "Cool" you and your daughter watched Lady Gaga. That would be something I would do with my daughter. She got to go to the actual concert with a friend and her mother--go figure...:p We do not have HBO so we couldn't watch it--too cheap--haha!! We are so lucky to have daughters--not that I would have been unhappy with a son--just different.:):)

Mother's Day was fine. My mother was cremated so no grave site to visit. When my father dies their ashes will be taken out to sea together. My husband and I went to his mother's grave and put out amaryllis from our garden. They were bulbs my husband took from his parent's house after they died--they just keep multiplying--I should send some your way.:):)

Sunday was 4 months since Maddie left, but I am pretty much okay--occasional saddness. Darn we keep looking for new pictures of the puppies and not yet...we all look everyday--we are so silly.:D

I hope you have enjoyed the day and you are already home for that darn job that gets in the way of FUN!!!

[addy]

It is the one sticking out it's tongue...

for real?????:p:D:D:D

HOW COOL IS THAT ?????:cool::cool::cool::D

Love,
Addy

[marie adams]

As soon as the sire's owner does her pick of the 2 blue merle females then it is for real. Memorial Weekend a new furbaby will arrive at our house or I should say we will be picking her up. :)

Just doesn't seem possible...a little guilt mixed in, but I am thinking that might be normal. :o

[addy]

Absolutely normal, dear friend.

Maddie Girl would approve.

Love,
Addy

[addy]

How many more days until PUPPY????

Could not resist:D Instead of an advent calendar, we need a count down until puppy homecoming calendar;)

Remember Sus and her clock?:D:D:D:D

I finally found all of Zoe's tests. I had misplaced her ultrasound results and ripped apart the house last night:rolleyes::rolleyes:

Whatttaaa night!!!!!!:eek::eek:

Everything is under control now.:cool:

Do you know we had frost last night? I suppose SNOW will be next!!!! I still can't put Maddy's zinnia seeds in:mad::mad:

Love,
Addy

[marie adams]

Hello My Dear Friend Addy,

We are suppose to pick up the little darling a week from Thursday. I emailed the breeder this morning hoping he would remember to send me pictures, but still nothing---I am getting impatient:eek::eek: I NEED PICTURES--feel like I am missing out on growing up time. I talked to him last Thursday or Friday and he promised pictures over the weekend. I kept looking at my email and nothing. I still do not know which puppy we get, but hoping it is the one with the tongue hanging out.:o

We have unusual temps out here--rained this morning and it was suppose to have snow in the mountains. It has been a little colder than usual also. The zinnias are growing better in some places and our little friend the neighbors cat seems to like to use our planters to take care of business so that has cancelled out a few seedlings and impatients. I will take pictures when I get the first flowers blooming. Who knows it might be the Thursday the little one comes home to stay.:):)

I am soo glad you found the test papers. I hate it when I know something is there, but you can't find it. I have to find it or I can't do anything until it is found--this is my compulsive disorder syndrome--:D::eek:

Once it gets warm there, I bet things grow fast so you will get to plant the zinnias and we will both have pretty colorful flowers to remember Miss Maddie. :p I miss the little booger so much!!!:( And I need pictures and a decision on who the next little booger will be!!!! It makes me not want to do anything, especially work.

Thank you for checking in--YOU ARE A GREAT HOST!!

[addy]

You are soooo cute:)

Now, look, no feeling blue, you can feel yellow or pink or red, BUT NOT BLUE:p:p:p:p No BLUE allowed;);););););)

Today I stood outside in the rain and cold and shook my fist at the sky and said "OH YEAH MOTHER NATURE?" "Well, let me tell you, I am not going to take it ANYMORE!:mad::mad:

"I'm planting Maddies' zinnia seeds in a flower pot so I can take them in and out of the garage,;);) "SO HOW DO YOU LIKE THEM APPLES, MOTHER NATURE?"

Go ahead and let it snow, it ain't stopping ME:D:D:D

I felt much better afterward;):p:D

THINK PUPPY!!! Hey go watch DOGS DINING on Everything Else. I laughed a whole day over it.

Love,
Addy

[marie adams]

Hey You!!!

I think I will be Pink today... I will be calling the breeder today so that does mean Pink...:p

I can just picture you with your fist to the sky yelling....so glad you have come up with an alternative to traditional planting---pots!!!:D:D

I watched the video and found it amazing the dogs didn't eat the food off the plates. The hands were so funny when they would fan them out kind of like "tadaa" :D

Have a fun time with the kids!!!

[littleone1]

Hi Marie,

I can't wait until you get pics of your new baby. It won't be long now.

[addy]

Happy Friday, Happy Weekend!!!


TG it is Friday
TG it is the weekend
TG it is almost time for Ella
TG the sun is shining here
TG for Zoe's vet consultation
TG we don't have to work for TWO DAYS
TG it is light until 8:00pm


TG for friends like you:)


Love ya,
Addy

[marie adams]

TG For YOU!!!!

Yeah!!! The sun is out--Mother Nature was listening!!!:D:D

I think the seedling transplants are going to make it. I wasn't so sure yesterday afternoon when I came home to check on things at the house--really didn't want to work so it was a good excuse. :p

I hope you have a wonderful weekend and that it is sunny all the way through...:D:D:):)

[marie adams]

It's Official - The Cute Little One will be coming home next Wednesday!!!!:):):):):)

It is the one with her tongue sticking out. I won't get any more pictures till she comes home!!!! :p

I feel sooooo much better!!!!! :) Now I can make plans....

[Squirt's Mom]

Hi Marie,

I have been following the posts about your new baby and am so excited that you now know which one is the lucky, lucky baby that will get to come home with you! She is a doll and I know you are beside yourself with joy!

Hugs,
Leslie and the gang

[addy]

:rolleyes:I was so excited I posted about Ella coming home on my thread instead of YOURS:rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes:

LOL girl, what puppies can do to us!!!!

Love,
Addy

[apollo6]

Can't wait to see pictures of the new pup. Ya!
Hugs Sonja and Apollo

[littleone1]

I'm so happy for you Marie. I know you must be very excited. You'll be a great mom to your new baby.

[labblab]

Marie, I'm so excited, too!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :) :) :) :) :) :) :)

Congratulations and I'll be glued to the computer on Wednesday, just waiting for "puppy updates!" :p

Marianne

[marie adams]

Thank you each and everyone of You!!!

Leslie posted a poem on Mira's In Loving Memory--which I cried through all of it, but this fit with the Little One's coming:
When the time is right and it will come, I want you to take in another fur kid to care for just as you cared for me and protected me from all harm and gave me the security that I needed all those years. They deserve the life I had with you. Don't think of it as replacing me but giving another the love you have inside you to bring joy to another. I felt honored to a part of your life and you gave me so much of yourself.... That will always be special.

I know that Maddie will be with me every step of the way to guide me because she taught me so much on how to care for this special one. She would have been a great teacher and even a great Mom. :o

This weekend is getting the kennel/crate ready. Making sure the yard will be puppy proof. It will be so funny for her to see the tortoises for the first time. I remember the first time Maddie saw them come out of hybernating--she ran around barking at them come in for a look back off bark a little. As the years went by she was their fight referee. :p

Yeah - 5 days till Miss Ella comes home to her forever home!!! :):)

[addy]

Marie, the poem is beautiful and really says it all. I truly believe Maddie Girl is smiling down at you and will guide you every step of the way.

Ella is a very lucky puppy in deed and with all the love you and your family have to share, she will be one cherished little girl.

Love,
Addy

[marie adams]

Thanks Addy,

The whole poem was wonderful, but I thought this line help say it so I would not feel the quilt and I thought about it that Maddie will be there to help. I had a dream that I called the new one Maddie. I guess it will happen because I have called my daughter Maddie before--not a good thing:eek: and the daughter's don't let you get away with it...haha!!!

I hope the sun is shining still for a wonderful weekend!!!!:):)

Did you see Carrol was back on Bailey's thread.....check it out...

[Harley PoMMom]

Oh Marie!

I am so very happy for you and Miss Ella! :D

Love and hugs,
Lori

[Bailey's Mom]

[QUOTE=marie adams;54469] We are so lucky to have daughters--not that I would have been unhappy with a son--just different.:):)

Hey, Hey, Hey!!! Just one darn minute here. I have a son. He's tall, he's smart, he's sensitive, he's loving, he's gorgeous.......don't shortchange the boys!!!
;)
-Susan

[Bailey's Mom]

Hi Marie-I call Bailey- Palmer. I refer to Bailey as "he." I call my son Bailey and alternatively, Palmer. I've decided any further pets will be "she" so at least I can get one thing right!!
-Susan
At least I don't refer to my son as "she."
Oh my.......

"Ella"-I LIKE that. What a beautiful name. Now if you can just get her to stop sticking her tongue out at you!!!:D

[Bailey's Mom]

Thank you each and everyone of You!!!

Leslie posted a poem on Mira's In Loving Memory--which I cried through all of it, but this fit with the Little One's coming:
When the time is right and it will come, I want you to take in another fur kid to care for just as you cared for me and protected me from all harm and gave me the security that I needed all those years. They deserve the life I had with you. Don't think of it as replacing me but giving another the love you have inside you to bring joy to another. I felt honored to a part of your life and you gave me so much of yourself.... That will always be special.

I know that Maddie will be with me every step of the way to guide me because she taught me so much on how to care for this special one. She would have been a great teacher and even a great Mom. :o

This weekend is getting the kennel/crate ready. Making sure the yard will be puppy proof. It will be so funny for her to see the tortoises for the first time. I remember the first time Maddie saw them come out of hybernating--she ran around barking at them come in for a look back off bark a little. As the years went by she was their fight referee. :p

Yeah - 5 days till Miss Ella comes home to her forever home!!! :):)
Marie-
Turtles..........we had a turtle at puppy class on Thursday. I took Bailey over to "inspect".....not too close! It WAS a hoot!
We have rabbits around here and Bailey hasn't figured out what to do with them....but then she thinks my neighbor's little garden flag at night is my neighbor. Oh DEAR!!
Love,
Susan

[marie adams]

Susan,

When Maddie was a puppy we also had a bunny rabbit that ran around the yard. Yes, we had the hare and the tortoises.... Maddie had the greatest time chasing the rabbit and when she caught it she would drape one paw over it and look at you saying "see I herded it for you."

The little green flag - so funny LOL... :D:):p

Sons are good too. They marry the daughters--hahaha!!! That is how we get sons and you get daughters. :D

[addy]

I guess I have a fondness for puppies with tongues sticking out. When I first laid eyes on Koko, it was a photo taken at Animal Control and his tongue was sticking out. That was enough for me, it was a done deal, signed, sealed and delivered:p:p:p

Miss Ella will bring sunshine with her for sure. She is going to be one sweet character.

Love,
Addy

[marie adams]

This weekend I cleaned up the kennel - a plastic one - it was Maddie's "condo". Whenever you said the word she would look around for it. We have not used it for years; only a little when she was young. Bought it used back then. The wire door and wire side panels rusted, so I ordered a new door and a water dish. I figure if I bought this thing new it would be $200-$400 and I only paid $50 for it. It is the Giant size so it really is a condo. :D

We are puppy proofing the backyard like you would the house, but then again we have to do that also. It was so nice having a trained older dog.....but the cuteness will overwhelm us...:D:D

3 days till Ella Time

[addy]

but the cuteness will overwhelm us

And Ella is pretty darn cute for sure:D:D:D:D:D:D:D

How old will she be? Ohhhhh, she will be a wee little thing:


ALMOST ELLA TIME

Love,
Addy

[marie adams]

She was born on April 1st; so a little shy of 8 weeks. Do you think she will be a clown since she was born on April 1st.:D:D:D

What an adventure????? :p:p

[Casey's Mom]

Marie - can't wait right along with you to see Ella. How happy Maddie is up there in heaven to see joy on your face again!!

Love and hugs,

[Bailey's Mom]

Yoo Hoo Marie???
24 hours or so??!~!
Hugs,
Susan

[apollo6]

looking to see Ella.
Hugs Sonja and Apollo

[addy]

:DHOW MANY HOURS UNTIL ELLA



love,

Auntie Addy:D:D:D:D:D

[MBK]

Hi, Marie!

I am also anxious to see pictures of the new baby! How exciting!!!

[marie adams]

Thanks Everyone!!!

It doesn't seem possible that little Ella will be her3 at this time tomorrow.

Am I really getting a new little one?????:o What am I thinking--sleepless nights, things chewed up, abused body--oh but the fun and silly new stories we will have. And remember what Maddie was like at that age.

I was just looking at the paper we have stuck to a cabinet door in the kitchen of how much she weighed at 6.5 weeks (that is when we got her). The weird thing is we still have that piece of paper up and we had added stuff about the Cushings--12 years of info....:o

We leave here about 6:30-7:00 am tmo for the journey to gather up our ball of fluff. By a little after 9 am she will be ours....:):)

I probably won't sleep....

[Bailey's Mom]

Hi Marie....
Are you SLEEPINGZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ?
I remember the excitement the night before. At times it seemed like it would never get here.
You're in for a great ride. You'll love it! 10 days ago I would have paid whomever came to my door to take Bailey. It got really rough and tense there for awhile. That seemed to be a low spot.....and hopefully the only one. We'll still have dips, just please don't give me my being sick and the puppy being puppy! Now with her refreshed grooming, those big brown eyes, the wonderful coloring....you just try to get someone come to my door to take her.
How long a drive is it from where you are to wherever you're going? Ella is a puppy, correct? How old-didn't you say 8 weeks?Don't forget kiddie Benadryl. Don't forget two or three very large towels. Hand wipes would be nice. Have some kind of container you can put water in for Ella. And of course the bottled water. Then there are the pads that absorb on one side and are plastic on the underside. And a chew toy....although Bailey only messed with toys when it would get to be night and we'd be settling in for the evening. Bailey rode all the way home snuggled against me and inside my unzipped hoodie. I think it made for terrific bonding for both of us.
Well I snuck up here to try to get a few things done. I'd better tip toe back down and grab the rest of my sleep. We need to be at the vets @9AM.
Have a very safe trip and we will all be waiting for more picutres!
Love,
Susan

PS.-Isn't it about time to start a new thread? I liked when that was suggested to me because I did not like starting out each session with "Palmer crossed over the bridge." One of the forum hosts can link them together for you. Just a thought.
-s

[labblab]

Hi Marie....
PS.-Isn't it about time to start a new thread? I liked when that was suggested to me because I did not like starting out each session with "Palmer crossed over the bridge." One of the forum hosts can link them together for you. Just a thought.
-s
At any time that you'd like to start a new thread for Miss Ella, Susan is exactly right -- we'll be happy to create links back-and-forth for you. You can just start the new thread and then we can help with the rest. ;)

YAY!!!!!!!!!!!! It's PUPPY DAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

:D :) :p :D :) :p :D :) :p :D :) :p :D :) :p :D :) :p :D

Drive safely!
Marianne

[addy]

It is here, PUPPY DAY is finally here:D:D:D:D:D


Pretty soon that adorable, warm, snuggly bundle will be in your arms making cute little sounds and maybe throwing up on you:p:p:p


Oh, I just had to tease you:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D

Enjoy this special day and we are enjoying it with you. The happiest days are when our babies come home.

Love,
Addy

[marie adams]

It is Ella Time. I did start a new thread. :)

I don't want to leave this one though....:(

Go see Miss Ella Has Arrived thread....oh and the pictures...:D:D

[labblab]

Marie, you don't ever have to leave Maddie's thread :o. Maddie will never be forgotten, EVER! But for everybody who wants to welcome beautiful baby Ella, there's the link to Ella's very own thread: :) :) :) :) :) :)

http://www.k9cushings.com/forum/showthread.php?t=3383

YAY!!!!!!!! The puppy is HOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :p :p :p :p :p :p

Marianne

[addy]

Well, I just will post to you on BOTH threads:D:D:D:D

Oh Marie, it is just like Marianne said, the cycle of life. Maddie is with all of us, in our hearts too. You shared her with us and we love her and you. And now we have more than enough love for Ella.

It is as it should be.

All my love,
Addy

[marie adams]

Oh Addy,

Thank you!!! Your words are to thoughtful. I now have tears in my eyes. I had a moment this morning talking with my husband about how I miss Maddie. As the breeder said Ella won't be our last dog and Maddie will always be Maddie and Ella will always be Ella not a replacement--a new adventure....:)

[MBK]

Marie -

Best of luck and much fun on your new adventure! You just can't look at a puppy and not smile. I'm sure Maddie would want that for you. I once heard when you have more than one child, you don't divide your heart between them, you grow another heart. Ella will never replace your love for Maddie; instead, you'll have another heart just for her.

[marie adams]

Oh Mary Beth,

Thank you!!! :) I only had one child so never thought about that. Growing another heart makes so much sense--thank you!!!:)

Ella is a sweet heart so no complaints. I know better (at least I think I do--maybe too soon to tell) how to work around the holy terror Aussie puppy stage--we will see if Maddie's training seminar works--hehe!!!:D

Thank you!!!

[marie adams]

Yesterday would have been Maddie's 13th birthday. A little sad remembering last year at this time seeing her not get up easily and getting the news that week she had cancer.:( The holidays will be a mix of saddness without Maddie, but joy & craziness with Ella. Christmas morning will be an experience with Ella and wrapping paper. Maddie was mostly calm, but enjoyed it so much especially when she got her present.

I looked at her Lyso pills still in the medicine cabinet and thought they are a year old now so I should just throw them away.

Dear Maddie you will always be in my heart and thoughts--bless you for being such a wonderful buddy!!!:)

[Rebelsmom]

Marie, I know it is a tough time of year for you. I'm sure Maddie celebrated her bday happy and healthy with no pain and I know she watches over you and little (or not so little) Ella. Enjoy the Christmas experience with Ella and know that Maddie is always with you.

[Cyn719]

I know its a sad time but try to think of the good memories - those you will have forever - Maddie will always be with you --- hugsssssss xo

[addy]

On my tree is a beautiful bird, it's feathers soft and downy. It hangs on my tree this year in memory of our Maddie Girl. She is free from pain and she soars to awesome heights while keeping a close eye on you and Ella.

Maddie lives on forever and can never be forgotten. Miss Ella will make Christmas different for you, her own traditions and funny ways and that, dearest friend, is how it should be.:)


All my love,
addy

[marie adams]

Today marks the one year anniversary of Maddie's passing.:( It is not as sad as I thought it might be, but there are still tears as I write this. Ella seems to help since you always have to be monitoring what and where she is at all times.:eek:

What I miss a lot were our morning walks. A neighbor saw me the other morning and asked where my coffee was--always had my cup when Maddie and I were out because I didn't have to have her on a leash. We just looked at nature together without the leash involved. Ella on the other hand hasn't perfected the concept yet; so no coffee yet.:p

I have no words to express all the kindness everyone shares with each other here, but it is a blessing!!!!

[frijole]

Already a year? Sending love your way and remembering dear Maddie. I hope she, Haley and all the other cush angels are up there having a grand old time together. xoxo Kim

[addy]

Oh Marie, I can't believe it is a year. Maddie Girl, zinnia eating Maddie Girl:):):) I tried to grow some in a pot for her this spring, they got leggy and weird, the zinnias, I mean. I loved your picture of Ella in your Zinnias.

I know you have another very hard one year day coming up.

Sending you so much love and hugs, sweet Marie. I don't know what I would do without you.

And don't you worry, Miss Ella will soon be walking while you coffee down:D:D:D:D:D

If we go to Florida, Melissa has drinks with edible flowers:);)

I sure wish I could just change Zoe's food, I wonder if it is food related but I don't think it is. From what I read it sounds like dermatitis from inhaled allergies, but who knows????? She is just up and about, she alternates from I MUSTchew my Kong to I want FOOD to I will chew my PAW to I will wrestle Koko. The thing is, other than the incessant chewing, she seems playful and active. I don't get it.

love ya,
addy

[Harley PoMMom]

Sending huge and loving hugs, dear Marie.

[Cyn719]

Marie

thinking of you at this one year mark - I know Ella keeps you busy but I know you miss Maddie - you will always have your beautiful memories with you always

love prayers and lots of hugsssssss xoxoxo

[jrepac]

the time goes SO fast, it's scary.
I hope all the cush pups are up there healthy and playing together!
They deserve it.

My baby's been gone over a year now as well, but I think of her often...I sometimes slip and call my newbie (Pepper) Mandy...same breed, similar color, traits and behaviors at times. Sometimes I think she is being coached from above :)

Jeff, Angel Mandy and the Girls.

[mytil]

Oh Marie,

I cannot believe a year has gone by - too fast. I know your Maddie girl is watching over you. Anniversaries (no matter how many years go by) are always hard. This wonderful little Aussie girl will always be in your heart.

She is with my little Aussies running around and trying to keep things in order. :)

Big ((((((hugs))))))
Terry

[labblab]

Marie, I am sending you tons of hugs, too, in loving memory of your little girl.

Marianne

[Squirt's Mom]

Ah, Marie,

Those firsts are so hard but once they are past you never have to face them again. As the days pass, those memories that can bring a smile to our face and a laugh in our heart, began to outweigh those that bring that awful, gut-wrenching pain.

I hope your memories are bringing you some measure of joy and peace.

Your sweet Maddie will always be remembered here, always be a part of our family.

Hugs,
Leslie

[marie adams]

Thank you so much everyone for your kind words!!!

Jeff, I cannot tell you how many times we slip and call Ella Maddie--just yesterday....:p

Yes, there are more good memories than the gut-wrenching ones that kept going through my head last year at this time. Of course Ella doesn't give us a chance to think about much trying to keep up with all she gets into--wears you out physically and mentally.

I hope Maddie gives Ella some good pointers while watching over us...:D:D

Thank you again for being there!!! :)

[Altira]

God I can't even read this page... I'm in tears. I woke up screaming Mira's name this morning in a dream. It's been a year for us too. I know how you feel.